We are back on Bitch Mountain where the RHOBH are trying to give the RHONY a run for their money. Can this drunken stupidity become more memorable than Scary Island? Brandi is drunk (as usual) and Lisa actually defends Kyle. Brandi is so drunk she keeps losing track of who she is attacking. Yolanda who is probably not drunk seems to be acting as Brandi’s drunk to English translator. Thank God Yolanda is multilingual.
Oh dear. Kim’s talking head. I will refrain from commenting about it until we see a bit more of it. But what I just saw was concerning.
Kyle has left the table and is sobbing in another room. And Yolanda comforts her? She and Brandi are the reason she is crying. Nonetheless, they both hug it out while saying that the other has a lot to deal with at the moment. Yolanda seems very hot and cold toward Kyle. In her talking head she talks about what is important in life, and putting the Kyle stuff behind her, but still slips in a few stabs and Kyle and Kim.
Then Lisa hugs Kyle. Lisa tastefully closes the bathroom door because Kim is in there talking about her panties being in a literal wad as she attempts I suppose to use the bathroom. Kim in her green dress talking head says “Don’t shut the door in my face.” I need to see more of Kim’s talking head in the blue dress. Kim tells Lisa not to tell her what to do.
Carlton says she can’t stand all the drama. Well, Carlton, Brandi is the epicenter of the drama, so why are you sleeping with her? Carlton is practically sitting on Yolanda’s lap. It takes Carlton and Yolanda and a Lisa backup to point Brandi in the direction of her bed. By the way, Brandi is wearing the same dress she was photographed in flashing everything including her tampon string to the paps while being carried out of a bar. Or at least one very similar. She is trying to fondle Carlton in bed.
Meanwhile, Joyce and Kyle go skinny dipping in the pool. Well Kyle took her top off. Joyce kept her tiny little bikini on. Lisa and Yolanda and Brandi and Carlton were sneaking up on each other. Brandi was drinking a bottle of wine straight from the bottle. Yolanda continues to translate Brandi’s gibberish.
It’s a new day in Palm Springs. Yolanda has to leave early for a charity event. But first, girls take a gondola ride to the top of Bitch Mountain. Once they arrive Carlton and Kim start hand-feeding rabid squirrels because that is perfectly normal.
Kim actually was praying next to a trashcan.
Lisa and Yolanda bail due to previous obligations.
Carlton is pissed at Brandi for outing her bisexual side. Brandi says she is sorry. In her talking head Brandi makes it seem like she is quick to apologize for her mouth. Just not when it comes to Joyce.
Brandi has volunteered to make dinner. She does not strike me as the cooking type. The food looks great though. So I guess we should not judge a book by its drunken cover.
Brandi calls home to discover “her house was broken into.” In fact her house was NOT broken into, but Brandi doesn’t know that yet. Her assistant lost one of her dogs, and faked the break-in to cover her ass. Oh wait, maybe she does know. She says this is the second time in a week her dogs have gone missing on her watch.
Brandi of course cannot accept Joyce reaching out. Even when she is semi-sober. Kyle and Joyce both want to comfort Brandi but they are afraid. They try but Brandi won’t let them in. Carlton and Brandi take off together. Carlton was going to leave at that time anyway so Brandi left with her.
Next Week: Dinner Party for all at the Fosters. Those never go well. Will the new girls kiss David’s Ring?