I am finally getting around to watching last week’s Vanderpump Rules. There was a whole bunch of RHOBH ending in front of it so, I hope there is no dramatic ending to this episode because I will likely miss it.
Is it possible that Jax has finally had enough of Stassi? It’s time for the gay pride parade again and the boys are going to wear angel wings. Jax is ready to move on with his dating. The boys are not fans of Scheana’s singing either. Gay Tom does a mocking take on her choreography for Jax and another guy. Gay Tom seems VERY familiar with this choreography. Kirsten is wary of Ariana due to the rumors of Ariana sleeping with her gay boyfriend. Personally, I think gay Tom is just Ariana’s gay best friend. Kirsten will be holding down the fort at SUR and will not be on the float embracing her boyfriend’s pride.
I hate to break the news to all the other SUR boys, but Peter is the real eye candy on this show.
Sorry, I took a food break (Asian slaw, it’s a bit too salty) but there really isn’t a lot to blog about so far. Jax kissed a girl and he liked it. Everyone hates Scheana’s song, It’s time for the parade and the girls are already getting catty about everything from placement to costume. There now we are all caught up.
Stassi is in a giant champagne glass. Scheana is going to sing and dance with backup dances. Let the bitches battle. Stassi is all pissy that Jax fucked a 21 year old. Frankly, I think he needs to fuck a new one every night to get Stassi out of his system. Stassi is furious. Because clearly Jax should just become a monk or something. How dare he pick up a chick in a bar? Why are the people in the back all grouped around Stassi instead of smiling and waving to gay people? Meanwhile Scheana is working the pole and lip sinking like a pro. She’s having a blast.
Apparently, gay acceptance is a matter of national security. Or something. They had some Westboro types there with their homophobic signs and raging stupidity.
The Club Nur gold ship blew the Club Sur white flatbed out of the water. How can Lisa allow that. They showed all the Shahs who showed up. Bravo Worlds collided.
Kristen went through Gay Tom’s phone and found texts between Ariana and him. They were SCANDALOUS! Oh wait, no they weren’t They were reminiscing about going to Coachella. Kristen doesn’t deserve to have a hot gay boyfriend. Stassi and Katie are forcing Kristen to confront Ariana because that is what friends do. They stir the pot and make things worse for their friends. Wait, um that is not what friends do at all. That is what bitches do.
Kristen asks Ariana if she has fucked her boyfriend. She says no, because he is gay (okay she did not really say that last part). Kristen says she is uncomfortable about their texting. Sometimes he texts her late at night! Sometimes she asks him if she is mad at him! Oh my.
Ariana is very patient with Kristen, but admits in her talking heads that Kristen is coming from a place that needs medication. OMG Kristen is having a total meltdown in front of Ariana. Talking about details of gay Toms cheating on her. Her low self-esteem issues. This girl needs a friend to drag her dumb ass out of there. Ariana thinks that Kristen is the one who inadvertently started the rumors herself, years ago because she was jealous of Arianna and Tom’s friendship. Sounds likely to me after watching this little meltdown.
Stassi is still whining to Jax. Jax is actually ignoring her. PROGRESS!
Krazypants Kristen picks the busiest day of the year for SUR to approach Tom and lie to him and say, “Ariana told me everything. Come talk to me right now.” This chick either needs a Golden Globe nomination, or a 5150 to get to the bottom of her issues. My god. She seems to be breaking up with Tom. And Tom needs to let her do just that. Move out Tom and don’t let her know where you live. WOW.