Well was this worth the 2 week wait? There were brief exciting moments, but there was a slow pace to Fiona’s drawn out depressing inner monologues about life vs. death. Even though beautifully written, they were dragging out like her maybe imminent death. My main complaint about the season is that the writers slow down scenes at the expense of all the weird moments that we live for… Like that Ajax enema. WTF was that? Is that possible without DYING? Joan (Patti Lupone) is giving me shades of the zealot mom (Piper Laurie) from the original “Carrie” movie…. Ryan Murphy must have had a fucked up relationship with his mother because all the moms are twisted in the realm of AHS:Coven.
There are so many moving parts to this story, and things are starting to come together–sort of. But obvious tension is building up to cause chaos in the war between the tribes: the different motives for vengeance by Fiona, Cordelia, Myrtle, Marie & Madison; Nan’s resentment for not being considered Supreme worthy; Hank and his killing mission; the life vs. death battle between Fiona & everyone; Madison’s jealousy over a rehabbed Kyle; a victimized Luke & his zealot mother; Misty reviving every one… and then throw in an overprotective Spalding ghost to keep things unpredictable while the rest of Coven waits to ascend to be the new Supreme.
Episode 8 starts off with Queenie who is in search for a dark heart that she needs to rip out of some evil doer’s chest. Madison & Zoe must have used some witch GPS to find her at a homeless camp under the freeway interchanges, and they are trying to convince her to come back to their Coven…but Queenie has chosen the Voodoo tribe. She killed a serial child rapist who intended to rape & kill her. She then cut him open and grabbed his beating heart out of his chest with her bare hands to give to Marie because she needs it for a special potion to give Queenie more powers… Queenie tells her former Coven sisters that the town is not big enough for both tribes and gives a warning, “War is coming. And you’re gonna lose.” I wonder if Queenie is getting played by Marie.
After another sex romp with her ghost dick, Fiona is defiant that cancer won’t kill her just yet, and that love is the best medicine. We learn she has spinal cancer. (I expected it to be lung cancer) She calls it Satan’s diet pill because it makes her vomit frequently. She is not afraid to die, but doesn’t want to live like this; yet doesn’t want to give others the satisfaction of killing herself. She is in constant pain & accepts her declining appearance by referencing ‘Bewitched’, “I’m starting to look less Samantha and more Endora every day.” She thinks the cancer is rapidly killing her because one of the girls is growing into the being the next Supreme. “Which pecker-head is it?” she asks. #LOL… Fiona tells Cordelia that she has terminal cancer, and a non-emotional & cold Cordelia tells her to die before Thanksgiving because her stuffing recipe sucks.
We finally see Luke & his mother in their bathroom. She is tending to his wound from the zombie attack, and she is pissed that girls harmed her son. When she calls the girls devil worshippers with dark powers Luke defends them for saving him. Then she slaps the Holy Spirit out of him by telling him only Jesus can save him. But first he has to repent and cleanse himself of the impurities from the inside out. She starts to quote scripture while reaching for scouring powder cleanser and an enema bag with a long tube. #YesMaam #OhLawd #HelpMeYeezus. It seems that he has been through this punishment before. She instructs him to drop his pants and gives him a God fearing look while he cleanses his “soul” while sitting in the bathtub next to a stained glass window with a huge cross on it… Really? Scouring powder? Wouldn’t holy water have been a better alternative? That would have been weird in itself, but the writers cranked up the level on this one, and I THANK them for it. I want more of this crazy shit, pardon my pun.
Cordelia rallies Zoe, Madison, & Nan in a stern meeting to tell them that Queenie is dead to her for betraying the Coven and about the battle plan to kill Fiona; but Nan is distracted because she is upset that she can hear that Luke and his ass are in distress next door… Madison wants to do it by slitting Fiona’s throat but Cordelia insists that she remain hidden from Fiona as part of the plot. She warns the girls that failure is not option when trying to kill Fiona, because otherwise it will be a suicide mission.
Crepe Myrtle has bloomed back to life. She tells Misty her mound was disturbed by an assassin in the woods that is stalking the cabin. Myrtle is looking half-baked with singed off hair, and her voice is gravelly & raspier than ever. I think she needs more watering. The witches hide just as the unidentified hooded killer opens fire… Somehow a panicked barefoot Misty arrives at the Academy seeking safety from the killer. Is she teleporting or something? Cordelia touches her and realizes that she is Misty Day. She promises the Coven will protect her, and that the Academy is her house now. Misty wants to know if her friend can stay too and leads Cordelia & the girls to Myrtle in the greenhouse. Myrtle’s red flaming hair is back but her skin still looks affected after her burning & resurgence. Cordelia hugs Myrtle… and why didn’t she see anything we she touched her??? …Nan asks her how her hair grew back so quick, and as one of the funnier lines of the night Myrtle croaks out “I’ve been buying in bulk from North Korea for yeeeaarrrs.” Cordelia tells Myrtle that the Coven has fallen on hard times. Myrtle says it may be the best of times because Misty Day’s power of resurrection is more difficult than any of the tests of the Seven Wonders, and that she is the next Supreme. Misty is like huh what you talking about Willis?
Upstairs in the bedroom Zoe is teaching Kyle how to use the ‘speak and spell’ app on the laptop, but he’d rather make out with her but she is not putting out. Madison walks in on them and starts tongue-kissing him while Zoe looks uncomfortable. Madison wants some of his Franken-dick now, but Zoe says he needs to learn so that he can rejoin society. Madison assures him they will have some freaky fun later as she leaves the room.
With Myrtle’s help and now knowing that Fiona is dying, Cordelia uses that in her plot with the girls against her mother to trick her into killing herself as part of a ritual called the Sacred Taking which allows the sacred act of witch suicide for the betterment of the Coven with the ascension of a new Supreme. The girls aren’t sure that Misty is really the Supreme, but Myrtle tells them Misty has exceeded Jesus Christ’s quota of resurrection. The girls bicker over which one of them is most likely the Supreme, but Madison rudely dismisses Nan who thinks she could be it also. Cordelia says being the Supreme is not something to wish for. It is a burden and not a gift, and the past Supremes probably did not have a happy life with the heavy responsibility attached to the title. Except for Fiona, who used her title & power selfishly while abandoning her duties to the Coven.
We get a little history lesson in a flashback about the rarely performed Sacred Taken ritual which had only been used three times. The most important one was done during the Salem witch trials when the witches fled persecution by going to the South. The Supreme knew she was too weak to survive the trip, so she took her own life, bestowing her power to the next Supreme so that she could lead them to safety. This is the most sacred sacrifice that a Supreme could make.
So how do you get a narcissistic selfish with bitch Supreme to kill herself? Fiona does not know that Madison is back. Part of the plan is to mind fuck a hopelessly dying Fiona into thinking that Madison resurrected herself & Myrtle because she is the Supreme. In a hazy dreamlike scene Madison is dressed devilishly in red just like Fiona was when she killed Madison. She is dancing in Fiona’s room to the 1966 psychedelic rock song “Season of the Witch” by Donovan. (I love the music choices in this show). Madison is taunting Fiona by calling her an old half-dead bitch. Either way she is going to die and gives her the option to get burned at the stake or just swallow pills. Fiona couldn’t even open the door fully with her powers as she tells her to get out. She starts to pack a suitcase because she’d rather run away with the Axeman to spend what short time she has left.
Myrtle appears as a double resurrection whammy to Fiona, “Is everyone back from the dead?” Myrtle convinces Fiona that her lover will get tired with the burden of her declining health, and that swallowing the pills is the best option… Myrtle is helping Fiona prepare her own corpse as she dresses up like Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard with a head scarf and fur coat while reminiscing about the time they went to Woodstock, and then lamenting her poor selfish choices in life. For her last requests Fiona tells Myrtle to take care of Cordelia and that her failure as mother will haunt her for eternity…and reminds her to comply with her preferred location of her Supreme portrait. She swallows a handful of pills and lies down in the bed wearing her high heels and fur coat to gracefully die while Myrtle ungracefully & hilariously steals Fiona’s jewelry from her dresser.
Madison hurts Nan’s feelings by again telling her she is not worthy to be the Supreme. She runs out of the Academy and past Hank who is sitting outside in his car. Nan unlocked & opened the front door to Luke’s house telekinetically, something we have not seen her do before. She finds Luke tied and gagged in the upstairs closet and frees him… This reminded me of season 1 when Adelaide was locked in the closet for punishment also; a full circle moment for actress Jamie Brewer.
As Fiona lay dying Spalding’s ghost appears to give her some ipecac to induce vomiting to purge the pills she just swallowed. She is confused because he can speak. He tells her the girls murdered him, and he has a voice in the spirit world. He tells her to get up and fight because she has been tricked to kill herself and that the swamp witch is the one doing all the resurrecting, not Madison. He is protecting her in death just as he did in life. She vomits the pills, and then Fiona vows to avenge his murder as well her own attempted murder.
Queenie brings Delphine a cheeseburger and she starts to devour it. Why is she so hungry? She is immortal. She lived in a fricking box for 180 years without eating. #PlotHole…but this is just an easy way to show that Queenie still feels some sympathy for Delphine. Marie has been bleeding Delphine for her facial poultice. Delphine tugs at Queenies heart strings to help her get freed. Marie is angry at Queenie for feeding the “animals”. Delphine starts acting like her own racist bitch self again by provoking Marie by calling her Negress and giving her orders like a slave. Delphine’s brazen arrogance is rooted in her belief that she cannot die. She has seen the modern world, but doesn’t what to be in it if a “darkie” can be in the White House, so she’d rather just be put back in her box and hope to come out again a hundred years later after the natural order would be restored. An enraged Marie brutally & swiftly cuts of her hand, “We’ve only just begun” as she tosses her hand on the floor like a piece of trash.
Nan & Bible Boy are running down the stairs to escape from his mother, but not before Nan sneaks in a kiss with Luke. His mother is on the phone with the police reporting Nan as an intruder in her house. She is raging at Nan, and Luke pushes her away and tells her he’s leaving and she can’t stop them. Then we see the red dots from a laser scope gun on Joan’s nightgown and she is shot twice in the abdomen. Luke throws himself over Nan to protect her and he is shot also. Nan is sobbing over him, “Don’t leave me. I’m your Supreme.”
Myrtle is playing Schubert’s ‘Last Sonata’ on the piano for the witches while waiting for Fiona to die and for the new Supreme to emerge. The girls are waiting for some feeling to know if that they are the Supreme. Again Myrtle with a memorable line says, “It starts as a tingle in the cooch.” #ROFLMAO… Fiona appears bitching about Myrtle’s piano playing style, and wants to know where the swamp witch is. Misty’s senses start tingling and she slips away to go next door, and the police’s arrival next redirects the Coven’s attention. Fiona confronts Misty at Joan’s house while Joan’s dead body is still on the floor. Fiona is interfering with the police by using her mind control powers to keep them away. She tests Misty’s skills by asking her to resurrect Joan and she doe, and then passes out while Fiona rolls her eyes at Misty for the dramatic display. Outside Cordelia senses the stray silver bullet in the bushes and retrieves it and realizes that is what witch hunters use.
After all the commotion Zoe goes to check on Kyle who has learned to say, “This road goes two ways” and “I love you.” Madison is off the side and over hears this & is visibly hurt. Well at least she is feeling some pain & jealousy. Isn’t that what she wanted? This is not going to end well.
The next morning Cordelia is expecting some wrath from her mother for plotting to kill her. Far from it. Fiona is impressed that the Coven worked together to take her on. Fiona tenderly touches her and tells her she really is proud of her, and that she really is her daughter. Cordelia joked that she wishes she had tried to kill her years ago if that is what it took get some respect… Cordelia tells her mother about another enemy of the Coven; the witch hunters that use silver bullets.
The doorbell rings, and Fiona finds an unsealed package with the flaps loosely tucked into each other. She opens it to find Madam Delphine LaLauries’s severed head and then her eyes open wide and she wheezes out the word “HELP.” …..The End.
When I saw that I box I knew what was in it. Remember when Fiona cut off the Minotaurs head and sent it to Marie? His eyes were blinking too when she opened the box. Since both Delphine & the Minotaur were giving immortality by Marie, I wonder if they are still alive in sense, just without a body…. I expect a lot of speculation from you all about Joan & Luke. OK at first I thought Nan was the initial target. But those red lasers were clearly on Joan, unless Hank has a shitty aim but I doubt that. Is Joan on the hit list too? What is her history? Could she possibly be a born again Christian-witch? Did she attend the Academy as a young girl? Maybe Joan set her own drapes on fire in an uncontrollable rage? I don’t know if a male can be Supreme, but I’m just throwing it out there AGAIN. Why are the women and especially mothers so nutty on this show. Is Nan the Supreme? She clearly had another power she kept on the down low. Is she hiding other powers? Maybe she did set those drapes on fire too to set up Madison to get her killed so she could be Supreme…. I loved see Myrtle back with her nuanced delivery of HILARITY… Spalding is going to be the unseen force to do all the unexpected stuff in that house to protect & help Fiona… And sex seems to be doing wonders for Kyle… If Marie wanted to Delphine so bad why did she cut off her head? I don’t think Delphine is dead yet in the conventional sense. Something is up. Doesn’t Marie still want/need to user her blood on her face?
Please share your smart & wild observations below. A winter storm is coming, and I hope to be housebound & want to be engaged with all of your comments… You can stalk me on twitter @Urethra_F . Also, you can share this on Facebook using the button below and stick it on your twitter line by clicking the twitter button.