I just noticed that my last recap of The Blacklist got a whopping FIVE COMMENTS. What the fuck is wrong with you people? I am trying to lead you to salvation! I usually save this show for a night when my brain has not turned to mush from recapping RHOBH and Vanderpump Rules, but I have been waiting all week for this episode. I wish one of you was here to hold my hand, but I reckon that would make blogging hard. So hold me, I am going in!
There is that scary disclaimer again! /drinks. Wait whut? I thought he killed the black guy last week? And this week he is speaking in Arabic and last week I didn’t understand a word. What is going on? Oh wait it looks they did kill him they just did not show it again. I am not smart enough for this show. Now they have Lizzie and hot middle-eastern looking guy. Red will NOT allow this! Scaryface dude ain’t gonna kill his baby girl. Red threatens to kill Doofus after saving his life numerous times in the past few hours. Doofus gives him the code:Romeo.
James Spader talks like one of my college sweethearts although he looks nothing like him.
Sadly the ridiculous writing comes back into play. Anslo who has executed several people already takes Red into custody for no apparent reason. He also takes Liz with them, which makes sense since Red showed his weakness for her. Hot middle-eastern guy is still alive for now. YAY!
Um, is Red’s right hand guy dead or not? I thought I saw them blow his head off last week? Still confused on that issue. I thought I just saw him standing. I may be just WISHING that were true. Anyway, Doofus just saved the life of the head of the FBI stuff. YAY! Perhaps I will call him Agent Ressler now.
They somehow leave in an ambulance (Imma need to watch this again!) and as they are trying to pull his chip Red says something to Liz “The Emissary Hotel in Chicago, Mr. Kaplin.” Then Liz uses the cardiac panels on the person trying to remove Red’s chip and shoots the driver. She gets out and commandeers a vehicle and they are in pursuit and on the phone. Meanwhile, the whole ambulance scene was stupid. The chick was putting blood on gauze to swab his neck. So bizarre. Suspend disbelief and bear with me here. Really bad writing. But oh so good James Spader.
Oh Hot Middle Eastern guy’s name is Aram. They got the chip out and passed it off to a guy on a motorcycle, because um, sure, that could happen. So Liz and the random guy in the Mercedes are led off the track to find his chip in surgical glove. Liz still has her hand tied together with Gladbag closures. Hell she will never get that shit off.
They have taken Red to a Chamber of Doom conveniently located near FBI headquarters, perhaps blocks away from where all the other Blacklist folks were captured or killed. Le sigh.
That bitchy chick who is in charge of the FBI (not the black guy who is apparently just in charge of the Reddington task force) says she is over it. This never happened, sorry, hope Red dies. Liz ain’t having none of THAT. She gets Aram to help her go save Red.
Anslo wants to know who Lizzie is and why Red would place her life above his. This should be good. Meanwhile, Lizzie called Mr. Kaplan. She then reunited with her maybe bad guy husband. He wants her to quit the FBI. He sure seems like a loving husband to me. Sigh. Mr. Kaplan is calling her back during this touching moment. He doesn’t want her to answer. I WANT HER TO ANSWER THE PHONE DAMMIT!
Oh lookie! The address of the mole is across the street from Lizzies house. Oh LAWD.
Meanwhile, the reason Anslo didn’t just kill Red is because he is the hired help to bring someone in to do it themselves. Red has lots of enemies. Some dude shoots him up with something that is the opposite of anesthesia making him feel even more pain. Lovely.
So Lizzie goes to the house across the street and finds the setup of computers monitoring her house. And an apple. For her teacher husband? Then dude comes in and puts a gun to the back of her head. There is some hand to hand combat and she kills the guy. um, lol. Then she returns the call to “Mr. Kaplan” By the way, Kaplan is a well-known name to most teachers, they do a lot of prepping for academic testing. That probably means nothing. Things get weird again. First Liz calls Cooper the head of the task force, then she hangs up and calls Mr. Kaplan. A woman arrives at the house. Lizzie lies and says she didn’t call anyone else. The lady says she has two directives. Protect Liz and find her employer (Red). She is extracting the bullet so there will be no ballistic evidence. She tells Liz to find his car.
Meanwhile, Red’s torture continues. He is resisting the drug somehow even though his blood pressure is through the roof and his temperature is 103.7.
Liz who is across the street from her own fucking house finds the car while her hubby who is across the street, apparently has no idea what she is doing. Never even peeps out the window. Mr./Mrs Kaplan ran the dead guys pic against “her database” they have no idea who he is/was. Both are in his car. Well lookie there, hubby watches them drive off as they go to an industrial area just up the street to look for Red. They get to a place from the GPS on dead guys car. Black dude jumps in the backseat right after Mr/MrsKaplan says stay in the car, my orders are to keep you safe. Because everyone knows being a sitting duck outside a place with guys with AK47’s keeps you safe. I can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys at this point.
Wait. Was that just a pretend gunfight? Now they say they are in the wrong place? Didn’t the bad/good guys just say it was the right place? WTF? Anyway, the real guy who paid for the pleasure of killing Red is finally there.
Dear God. I am so not smart enough to recap this. Now the FBI is there. Wherever “there” is. Liz is explaining to her boss that it is some sort of criminal outpost. I am lost.
Anyway, head of task force dude goes to head of FBI bitch and explains they are all being watched, looks like task force is back in effect.
Oh shit it is ALAN ALDA! Don’t kill James Spader, Alan Alda!!!!! Noe!!!! He says he know what will happen if Red turns up dead so they haven’t killed him, YAY ALAN ALDA! But Red says that he has not told anything to the FBI and his reasons have nothing to do with him. The Alan Alda guy says he wants to make it abundantly clear there is no where he can go and be safe from him. Alan Alda listens to me and does not want to kill him but Anslo does. Alan Alda is worried “it would trigger whatever he has in place.” So Anslo says to Red he will kill Lizzie. Why does he call her Lizzie? Poor writing again? I hate that this show has such bad writers. IT’S JAMES FUCKING SPADER, shell out some money for writers!
Whoa. Red just killed Anslo a needle or something. You don’t threaten Lizzie to Red. And *poof* despite a billion “anti-anesthesia” shots where he feels increased pain. Red is gone. Just at the FBI shows up and Liz declares” He was here.”
Liz’s good guy husband just wants to move her to Nebraska and raise corn or something.
Doofus survives. An ex shows up at the hospital. She is engaged.
Fuck. Is the husband the mole? How could he be the mole? What would he know? Red calls Lizzie… he says he is gone for awhile. She says they urgently need him… Red says “Lizzie wherever I am whatever I am doing I will be there for you if you need me.” /sigh
HOLY SHIT! She asks him if he is her father. He says no! But tells her to be careful of her husband! I can’t with this…. just take her with you, Red!