The husband of other partner couple in SUR is having a birthday and his wife is planning a surprise party. The wife asks Stassi and… is Katie the one with the eyebrow issue? anyway the eyebrow one ….to do a Burlesque show for him. Because that is what wives do for there husbands. They hire little sluts to parade around half-nekkid for them on their birthdays. Lisa Vanderpump arrives to teach the sexy. By the way, Stassi? If you think your nipples are hanging low now, call me in 20 years.
Meanwhile, Jax is in the hospital (probably trying to get attention) saying he has a lump in his chest and breast cancer runs in his family.
Scheana is planning her wedding despite not being engaged. Actually, I don’t have a problem with this. She has been dating a nice normal off camera guy for awhile.
Gay Tom and Ariana who is not his girlfriend and with whom he is not sleeping go shopping together. They laugh, they giggle, they hug….they generally are adorable together. I fear Kristen is on her way out.
Stassi goes over to Jax
to comfort him after his health scare berate him for all the weirdass bodybuilding crap he takes and throw most of his stash down the drain. Jax wonders (as much as a box of hair can wonder) if this is Stassi showing tough love? Or just being a bitch?
Straight Tom, Gay Tom and Jax all meet up at Gay Tom’s. Jax announces that he has cancer. You know, in the same way that I announced on twitter that my arm may have to be amputated. (Um, apparently I slightly overreacted to a nip from Banjo. But it COULD HAVE HAPPENED!) The guys immediately (as they should) start calling dibs on his stuff.
I love this tan crepey tank top that Katie is wearing. #want
It’s time for the Burlesque show. Apparently all the waitresses have to wear whore outfits and were not all told. Scheana ain’t having it. She’s much to modest. And then five seconds later she is stripping off her Sur dress and putting on the whore outfit in front of three camera men, and all fourteen of us who watch this ridiculous excuse for a show.
Kirsten is ….. just so unfortunate.
Was that two girls getting hosed in a blow up kiddie pool in the middle of SUR next the girl in pasties and a lampshade?
Jax and Stassi fight again. Stassi does not know how to be nice.