The Blacklist: Anslo Garrick

Oh God. There is a special violent content warning for this episode. Why does it have to be so disgusting? AND it’s a two parter. Will I need a Xanax for this episode? We go straight to a scene where Red is cutting up a live person with a rusty knife. Ugh.

Flashback only 13 hours and Red is in Munich enjoying a huge mug of beer with his pals. Seems harmless. How are we going to get to gutting people like a fish in just 13 hours? Some crook has died and Red is going to take over his territory so to speak. Maybe. I am already confused. Doofus has walked into the bar and Red introduces him as his friend down at the state department. Forgive the childish name rule violation, this is episode nine and I still have no idea what Liz’s bumbling partner’s name is.  Anyway, it seems he has found Red by using the chip they implanted in him. They need him back in Washington pronto. Liz has “been detained.” which is all Red needs to hear for him to scoff at the jet Doofus brought and dash to his own, faster private jet.

And just like that it’s Auf Wiedersehen, Munich and Hello Washington D.C. Liz is grieving the death of “her father.” She has some memories of a fire from her childhood. Meanwhile,  Red is being taken into protective custody.  Anslo Garrick is coming to kill him.  Red tells the feds they are playing right into his hands but getting him back to the secret site that is not really that secret so he can’t leave. Again, DOOFUS.

As Red is explaining all of this using small, comprehensible words to the feds, the bad guys are shooting up all the security guards and splattering their blood everywhere.  They are in, they have disabled all power and Liz is stuck in the elevator alone. That’s probably a good thing.

Not shockingly. Doofus is the first one shot. In fact now that I think about it, that might have been Doofus that Red was cutting up in the first scene. Maybe he was trying to save his stupid leg.  Meanwhile, Liz has decided not to stay in the relative safety of the inoperable elevator and is exhibiting some heretofore until hidden talent of scaling flat walls with her bare feet. Because, apparently, that is a possible thing.  Red has an equally amazing gift of getting himself out of handcuffs, arming himself to the teeth and dragging Doofus with one hand while killing bad guys with the other hand until they reach the safety of the bulletproof box.

Anslo is a scary looking dude with big ears and an…er..asymmetrical face thanks to a point blank shot to the head by Red years ago. He is watching from outside the cage as Red does his surgery on Doofus’s leg. Doofus is being a big old baby about the lack of any anesthesia. I don’t think he even got a beer 13 hours earlier in Munich, poor thing. Anslo is giving some sort of vicious soliloquy while Red plays doctor.  Red uses his fancy necktie and a gun clip ???  to make a tourniquet or something. I am not familiar with this particular medical process.

Liz has completed her David Blaine impersonation and is not roaming all over the place in her bare feet looking for trouble that she is sure to find.  She is all by herself and bringing a glock to an AK47 party.

There is also a tech guy trying to backup and then destroy all the big fat FBI secrets. I guess that is protocol, but I don’t think Anslo is there for the intel. He just wants to kill Red and eat his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. But tech guy does get some security cam footage up and sees that the bad guys have the CIA chick and the head FBI guy in their custody. Oh noes!  By the way, the tech guy has this sort of middle easterny hotness thing going on. Has he been on the show before?

Anslo was planning on just blowing up the bunker cell thingy Red and Doofus are in, but he just got some bad news. They don’t have enough explosives for that. Bummer.

In what must be the 98th wild coincidence, Red had Doofus have the same blood type.  So naturally, the normal thing to do is to give Doofus, whose name is apparently Donald, a blood transfusion using a medical kit that seems to have appeared like the face of Jesus on a piece of burnt toast.

Liz has just knocked out two bad guys with single punches to the head. No really. I’m serious. Liz hooks up with the hot tech guy. I mean, they found each other.  No time for an actual hookup, sadly.  Tech guy has never shot anything other than a paper target.  Seems qualified to me.

Red says he is not dying yet. He has lots more traveling and fine dining to do. Spader launches into a speech about all the things to live for that was truly Emmy worthy.  Anslo shows up with the head FBI guy and threatens to shoot him if he doesn’t open the door. Meanwhile Doofus is dying.  But wait!  Red has everything he needs to perform lifesaving surgery!

Anslo has all the people except for Liz and the Tech guy lined up outside the box.  Anslo is about to shoot one of the females. Red tells the FBI guy to open the box. He says no. Anslo shoots the woman, splattering her blood all over the box. EDITED: OMG! y’all know I don’t recognize faces well. This was his right hand woman who handled the real estate transaction for the old house.  His trusted confidant.

Downstairs in the bowels of the complex, a big goon bad guy knocks Liz out with one punch. Maybe his trigger finger was tired….

Anslo picks a new person to kill. Some African guy. He seems to be very close with Red. Red gives him last rites or something in some tribal language. Red has begged the FBI guy to open the box repeated. He continues to refuse. Anslo shoots him, too. EDITED OMG AGAIN: That was his right hand man, his driver, the guy who keeps him on schedule. His closest confidante. He willingly died for Red. I just can’t!

James Spader’s acting in the episode was BEYOND.  Next week, Liz gets caught and is the next to die….Red holds a gun to Doofus’s head to get the code to save her.  That will be the fall finale.