American Horror Story: Coven Episode 4 Recap/Blog –“Fearful Pranks Ensue”

Unpleasantly this episode starts off in 1961 with white men hanging a young black student to death because he has started attending a newly racially integrated school in New Orleans, who happens to be the son of a friend/patron of Marie Laveau. She exacts revenge by opening her voodoo boxes of chalk, knives, pearls, & snakes, and drinks flaming blood out of an urn to conjure up the dead from their graves to attack the killers of the black boy. Visually it was comical watching the vigilante Zombies in action. It was like something out of a B-horror movie. Did you all notice one of the zombies was dressed in a Civil War uniform and carrying a bayonet? ….But watching Angela Bassett deliver Marie Laveau’s possessed fury was intensely convincing as she bared her teeth with guttural screams to the revenge Gods as her eyeballs turned all white. #Perfection

At the Academy Spalding needs a manicure as we see a close up of his crypt-keeper hands as he puts a record on a gramophone while surrounded by every CREEPY post-Victorian era doll he could find on e-bay. He’s in the midst of a tea-party when he hears arguing downstairs, and he walks in to witness Fiona slicing Madison’s throat. Spalding rolls the rug up with Madison dead center in it with her sparkly heels sticking out. Fiona is slumped in a chair giving Spalding her best ‘Faye Dunaway- doing a CRAZY- Joan Crawford face’ as she confesses to him that she likes him better without his tongue. He seems much wiser without it.   She is interrupted by the sound of glass shattering, and as Fiona leaves to investigate she orders him to “deal with that” pointing at the rolled up rug.

Fiona goes to Cordelia’s botanical garden to find Queenie on the floor. She was badly injured with a huge blood stain on the front of her dress crying “I couldn’t stop IT. IT hurt me really badly”. I wonder what happened to her. Maybe his bull-sized dick was too big for the virgin?  Then Minotaur/Bastien appears in the shadows growling behind Fiona. We don’t see what happens next.

Fiona wakes Cordelia and tells her Queenie was attacked by some minion from hell that was summoned by dark art voodoo. They are doing some witch-medic treatments on Queenie as they argue about Marie Laveau, and they accuse each other of pissing her off. Queenie stops breathing, and then Fiona literally & magically blows life into her mouth to resuscitate her. Fiona refuses to take her to the hospital because she doesn’t want the Witch Council to find out about the visits to Marie, the gravely injured Queenie, and the dead witch-movie star.

Fiona goes to her room and finds Delphine hiding there, “She saved me, that black girl.” Delphine adds that Bastien/Minotaur was sent by the voodoo queen to hurt her. The all-knowing Fiona knows that, and tells her not to tell anyone about him, and that he won’t be coming back.

At the Cornrow City hair salon Marie is still #GhettoFabulous in her long Marley twist hair and rocking another jumpsuit as a huge box is delivered. Marie screams “no, noooooo” as she discovers Minotaur/Bastien’s decapitated head still blinking and bleeding in the box…. I want to know how Fiona did that, and I hope we get to see a flashback scene of it later on. Maybe Queenie did it with her voodoo doll powers? Where is his headless body at? There are unanswered questions about this storyline.

After killing his molesting mama, FrankenKyle is covered in her blood, and he is banging his head on the bathtub. Zoe stops him, and he repeats after her, “Kyle. No Kyle”.  Zoe is apologetic for what has happened with him and she sobs. Then she offers to make something for him to eat. She is preparing tuna salad that might be or might NOT be laced with rat poison to put him out of his misery. It doesn’t matter because FrankenKyle has run away. Zoe goes outside to find the neighborhood crowded with people dressed up for Halloween. On a night like this Kyle will blend in with the costumed ghouls & zombies walking in the streets. I bet Misty Day knows how to find him fast…. Did you notice the season 1 reference to Tate Langdon’s (played by Peter Evans/Kyle) skull face paint on the guy in the passing car?

Delphine is helping Fiona get dressed in her room. Fiona tells her that Halloween is her favorite day of the year. Delphine wants to light a bonfire to keep the evil spirits away because the dead will rise and their fearful pranks ensue, and Fiona tells her all that is needed is candy. Delphine takes a look at Fiona and gasps at her beauty, while a disappointed Fiona wanted her to say she looked younger. Fiona tops off her elegant black cocktail dress with a clichéd pointy witch’s hat while staring at herself in the mirror, “Tonight I’m going to let the whole world in. Get a good look at me. Who’s the baddest witch in town?”

Marie is in her backroom voodoo lair, and she is hastily gathering her voodoo essentials to avenge Bastien’s/Minotaur’s death. Here we go again…. Chantal, her employee/friend, tells her not to start a war with those white bitches after the 10 years of trouble. This is the historical period of the bloody Civil Rights Movement which also parallels the period within story of the 1961 lynching through the 1971 Witch Truce signing. Chantal tells Marie that she has heard the stories about the heartbreak and blood running in the streets during those times. Marie boasts “Yeah their blood. I used it to paint my day room brick red.”  Chantal reminds Marie that she was a hero for sitting across from them and signing the truce….. Now it is a 1971 flashback, and Marie is serving up Foxy Brown realness with her afro and hoop earrings at Robichaux’s Academy sitting across from the Supreme Witch Anna Leigh as both witches sign the truce for peace between the Salem & Voodoo tribes… Back to present day Marie says, “The truce is OVAHHH.” …Black vs. White, Voodoo vs. Salem, Marie vs. Fiona.

Cordelia is on the phone with her husband Hank who claims to be away on a business trip. There is a knock at his door, and it is a gorgeous red-head Kaylee. (Alexandra Breckenridge also portrayed the sexy-as-hell hyper-sexual ghostly mistress-maid in the first AHS season.)  They met in an online community for people who collect Thomas Kinkade paintings, and this is their first real life meeting. After Hank fucks her rough & good, they have post-coital talk about Halloween costumes, and he tells her that last year he dressed up as monster. #Warning … She is still blushing from the hot sex, and they’re eating canned soup.  She already has their future planned out in her mind. Well girl, he’s just not that into you because Hank blew her brains out with a silencer gun.  Hmmm she expected too much from a guy whose screen name was 007.  #KillerCock must have not been available…. Alexandra has played a shot-dead mistress in her two seasons on AHS. I hope with all the rising dead going on she comes back in some way.

Cordelia is giving Queenie some bed-side care as Delphine looks on. Queenie regains consciousness, and Delphine humbly tells her, “I don’t know how to thank you for saving my life.” Queenie tells her “You’ll just have to work on that then.” …..Nan walks into the room and announces “They’re here.”

Myrtle, Pembroke, & Quentin, three members of the Witches Council are in the parlor room. They only show up when witches go wild. Pembroke tells her that the Council assembles for only the gravest of circumstances. Cordelia explains to them how the attack on Queenie was a horrific tragedy, but she assures them that she is resting comfortably. They were not aware of an assault. Myrtle scolds her, and Pembroke tells her that they have been alerted to a much more potentially dangerous situation. Cordelia starts rambling about visiting Marie Laveau and violating the truce. Fiona struts in and tells Cordelia, “You stop talking.” After greeting Myrtle with a bitchy back handed compliment about her sense of style, Fiona greets Quentin (Leslie Jordan) by zinging him “You vicious old queen” and air kisses him. A hilarious cape wearing Quentin moans about his busy life as an author on the best seller list. Fiona pats his cheek and reminds him that it was her magic that put him there. Myrtle tells Fiona that they were summoned by one of her students. Just as Fiona asks which one, Nan walks into the room and declares that it was her. She says that she can no longer hear Madison, and that she must be dead. Myrtle says that this is why they are there.

The Council starts an official inquiry into Madison’s disappearance by interviewing Cordelia and the students.  Queenie, who is still recovering says, “Madison is a stone cold bitch who loves hard drinking, big dicks, and trouble. If she’s dead it’s probably because she got wasted and offered the grim reaper a hand job.” #LOL…. Almost everyone has negative things to say about her… and because of her lifestyle they are not surprised that she is gone. In the middle of the interview Cordelia realizes that the rug is missing. The council asks if Madison had manifested any new powers lately. Everyone tells her no except for Nan. She explains that Madison set the neighbors curtains on fire. They ask her who knew about this. Nan avoids eye contact and looks down. #Fiona.

Myrtle begins to scold Fiona about her lack of leadership over the last 40 plus years. It’s obvious that Myrtle does not respect Fiona as the Supreme. She tells her she has ignored her official duties by jet-setting around the globe to satisfy her vulgar licentious appetites (fancy way to be called a slut), instead of focusing on the betterment of witches. Fiona wants to know if she is a rotten Supreme because she went away or because she came back?….Myrtle tells her that this is the second time that a witch has gone missing from under the Academy’s roof,  and in each case, Fiona was the last one to see them alive…

We see a 1971 flashback of a young tearful Fiona sitting before a different Council as they tell her that Anna Leigh has disappeared and is presumed dead because they cannot sense her life force. Fiona tells them the last thing she knows about her Supreme Witch mentor was that she left with a bottle of fine wine as peace offering to Marie Laveau after signing the truce.  Fiona has just shifted suspicion to Marie and the “colored witches”….. In front of the entire Academy, the Council announces Fiona as the Supreme Elect. At the next full moon she will be tested for the seven wonders. We also see an irritated & suspicious Myrtle Snow as a young witch student wearing her trademark cat eye framed glasses glaring at Fiona as she smirks with pride. Myrtle is shocked that Fiona is getting away with murder, and Fiona smiles and calls her dogface. Myrtle says to a fellow student, “I am the Guardian of Veracity in the Vernacular. I know when lies are being told. And I protect the truth.” In response Fiona lightly snaps her fingers and Myrtle’s drinking glass slams to the ground and shatters. Fiona directs Spalding to clean up the mess. Myrtle has made the observation that Spalding spends his life cleaning up Fiona’s messes… Next we see Myrtle performing an enchantment spell on Spaulding’s tongue so that he will be incapable of lying when he is interviewed by the Council about Anna Leigh’s disappearance, and Spalding has overheard Myrtle talking about this. …There is agonizing screaming filling the walls of the Academy, and the students find Fiona in the bathroom with Spalding as he is bloody & writhing in pain on the floor next to a razor and his severed tongue. Myrtle and Fiona just stare at each other.

Now we know of the adversarial history between Fiona & Myrtle going back over 40 years. Back to present day at the Academy and with Cordelia and the Council present, Myrtle wants to try again to prove Fiona guilty of murder, punishable by death. Myrtle reminds a defiant Fiona that no witch has been tried, convicted, & burned at the stake since 1926.  Myrtle deliciously taunts Fiona by purring, “I’ve got a book of matches in my pocket Fiona, and I’m just dying to light this fire.” #BurnBabyBurn ….Spalding is called in for questioning. Fiona is shitting bricks with her crazy eyes piercing the back of Spalding’s head.  Myrtle asks him to write down the name of the witch responsible for severing his tongue. He covers his writing hand as he writes a name down on the paper.  He exchanges glances with a nervous as a cat Fiona, and she is giving him & Myrtle a creepy glare that can melt glaciers while holding her damn cigarette. Myrtle reads her OWN name as the witch responsible.

Flashback to 1971 and we see Spalding alone in the bathroom with the razor. Fiona walks in because Spalding wrote her a note to meet him.  He is choked up with emotion and says with slight hesitation “These are my last words Miss Fiona. I have always loved you”. He smiles at her, and then severs his own tongue in front of a horrified Fiona while his blood spews.

Present day and Myrtle has just read her name written by Spalding. Technically he told the truth because he is missing his tongue as the result of Myrtle’s truth spell and his love for Fiona. Myrtle is throwing the biggest hissy fit screaming with rage at Fiona for being a murderer “She keeps getting away with it.” That she killed Anna Leigh to get power, and that she killed Madison because she was the next Supreme. Fiona is just smirking with delight & relief that Spalding wrote down Myrtle’s name, and that she eluded guilt again. Cordelia interrupts to tell Myrtle she is wrong, and says Madison was not the next Supreme. Signs of a rising Supreme are glowing radiant health. Madison secretly had a heart murmur and in no way could be the next Supreme. Fiona has an #OhSHIT look on her face.

Back at the salon Marie has changed out of her jumpsuit and into her voodoo queen clothing and head dress. Tribal drums are beating behind her while she is conjuring up her act of voodoo revenge involving an albino python, knives, and a noose. First we see decayed hands and then full corpses rising up from graves.

Back at the Academy Delphine is handy out candy to the greedy hooligans…..Zoe & Queenie are not sure that Madison is dead. Nan is positive she is….Spalding is setting up for a ghastly tea party by dressing up in a granny’s bonnet and a kabuki nightgown. He reaches for an old Victorian lace dress and gingerly presents it to a very dead Madison who is slouched in a chair holding an empty tea cup wearing a pink bra and panties with a red scarf around her neck to cover her fatal wounds. #Shocker

Fiona & Cordelia seem to be having celebratory I AM NOT GUILTY cocktails at a bar. Cordelia suggests they play a game of truth. Cordelia asks why she hates Hank. Fiona said he reeks of bullshit, and she doesn’t understand how Cordelia doesn’t agree.  Then Cordelia asks if she killed Madison. Fiona says, “No I did not”….An eager Fiona asks Cordelia “Who do you think is the next Supreme?” Cordelia does not answer, and the next thing she is in the bar bathroom stall hugging the porcelain and vomiting. She exits, and a dark cloaked figure walks out of the next stall with a gloved hand carrying a mason jar with a fluid in it, and tosses the acidic contents into Cordelia’s face as she screams in pain… Who the fuck was that? To me the silhouette looked female & petite…and white. I saw the skin tone on the neck of the assailant. Maybe Myrtle? ….Maybe one of Marie’s handlers? I’m sure Fiona has plenty of enemies. The speculation can be endless. We’ll have to wait and find out.

Holy-Hunk Luke goes next door to the Academy to visit Nan, and he brought her cookies as a thank you for the cake she made him…. There is banging on the door. Delphine opens it and there are three female zombies at the front door, and they do not want candy. Delphine is horrified to recognize that they are her daughters that Marie hung to death. She slams the door shut in fear as a mob of zombies besiege Robichaux’s Academy.

Halloween episodes always deliver something memorable to the AHS franchise. The 1st season we had the return of the ghostly inhabitants to The Murder House & the shocking death of Adelaide; and in the 2nd season the Briarcliff Asylum got slammed with a fierce “Nor’easter” storm, and the unspeakable atrocities of vicious doctors.

Well for the 3rd season we get a necro-loving cross dressing Spalding; Fiona is at war with everybody and ZOMBIES who aren’t dancing to “Thriller”.  Damn maybe next week Bible boy gets to shake is groove thang with #TheWalkingDead. Jessica Lange is co-starring with zombies! I have mixed feelings about this. But the biggest surprise was Delphine’s long dead daughters leading the zombie mob to the front door. I told you all something will happen to mind fuck the hell out of Delphine. It was hard to hold on to that spoiler for the last week.

I just love this season’s interpretation of a horror story. Yes there is the obvious blood, gore, & witches, but there are more personal & relatable things that are much more horrific. There are horrors associated in everyday things: racism, sexual abuse, love, revenge, and on line hook ups for sex.  Most of the characters are struggling with their own personal hell. That is an American Horror Story……  Ok scurrdy cats, I’m ready discuss any minor/major details. GO… You can follow me on twitter @Urethra_F

Catch all the AHS COVEN RECAPS HERE.