Finally, it is the season finale of Princesses: Long Island! When last we were with these people Ashlee had a meltdown and disappeared on the road to the vineyard. Chanel is crying and looking everywhere for Ashlee. Chanel is still sobbing days later in her talking head.
Amanda, Erick and Joey are off on the boat having the time of their lives. At least for about ten minutes. Then they start bitching about Chanel and Ashlee. Eventually, Chanel sends a text saying Ashlee is in the hospital. I am going to assume it is a psychiatric hospital until told otherwise. Chanel is really bad at explaining what is going on. Somehow, she ended up in a small town, in a small hospital, for small people and oxygen was involved. I am guessing when she realized no one was coming to get her, she had a panic attack. I mean this girl can’t drive to a friend’s house in Newport or wherever by herself with locking all the doors and calling her daddy. What did she expect to accomplish but walking down the street in the middle of nowhere by her own ignorant self? LOL I was right. Panic attack with a side of hitch hiking to a hospital. Welcome to my usual Tuesday afternoon, Ashlee. Well, I don’t go hitchhiking because I am not stupid. And why didn’t she just answer the phone when Chanel called her a billion times? OR CALL HER DADDY like she does when she forgets how to use toilet paper or work a thermostat? She is hilariously weeping jet black mascara tears.
Amanda and Casey meet for lunch. Casey is mad at Amanda for leaving Ashlee behind. Casey says that she thinks that Ashlee is very level-headed and normal. Casey appears to have had a lobotomy since the last episode.
Ashlee says that the day at the winery (which was clearly days before this talking head was filmed) was “like an outer body experience.” At the hospital they had to give her a Benadryl! My god. A Benadryl! That’s very serious stuff! I mean you take that for fatal issues like allergies and mosquito bites! Next time I have a panic attack, I now know that Benadryl, not Xanax is the preferred medical treatment!
Chanel is trying to convince Ashlee to do a Jewish tradition associated with the new year to apologize to those you have wronged and forgive those who have wronged you. Ashlee is not apologizing for anything. She has done nothing wrong and is entirely blameless. (Except for texting everyone not to be friends with Joey, telling Joey she is a bad person, alienating her when they go speed dating, having a stick up her ass all the time, and of course making a nasty comment about her Joey’s mother who is either dead or otherwise out of the picture. Other than that, she’s completely blameless. Oh and for literally running away from the vineyard worrying everyone to death and blaming everyone else for “leaving her there”) Ashlee is full on delusional and ranting about how they left her completely helpless. She has nothing to apologize for except that she is sorry that Joey is so full of hate that she has to project it on her.
Oh God. It’s time for inappropriate over the top PDA with Amanda and her gay boyfriend. Apparently, Jeff and Amanda met on the Long Island Railroad. How fittingly pedestrian. So Jeff proposes. We knew that was the finale storyline. But to be honest, I am not sure he did propose. He said “this is a proposal from me to you” several times. Then kept saying, “will you accept? “ AND said, this promise ring and commitment. A PROMISE RING? But then he says several more times that he just didn’t want to get down on one knee. Or apparently buy her an engagement ring. Amanda looks like a pigeon has just crapped on her head. I would have handed the box (which is neither Tiffany nor Cartier) right back at him. Gay men should be much better at this sort of thing. This bonehead move is the only glimmer of straight man we have seen all season. So she promised him something and then the obnoxious PDA began. I am actually one of the few people who think that PDA is great! But these two don’t really kiss as much as they slurp all over each other’s faces. It’s gross and wrong.
At the religious thingy, Casey shows up with a huge attitude. Chanel starts by apologizing and crying the ugly cry. Amanda goes next. She cries about the promise ring. I would too, Amanda. Erica apologizes to Casey for being a whore. Erica says she misses Ashlee a lot mutters something bout anxiety. Casey apologizes to Erica for not calling her out on being a slut earlier. Casey apologizes to Amanda but she is not very sincere and still bitchy. Joey says to Ashlee essentially that she hopes Ashlee will grow up and they can move past their problems. Ashlee says to everyone, she doesn’t just take a holiday to reflect, she reflects every single night. She says this reflection shows her just how far she has come in her life and she hopes that one day all of the other girls there will come to the place she is. I literally did one of those spit take laughs and scared the dog. Ashlee had a stroke last year. But she has taken that second chance at life and made it perfect. And she just doesn’t have time for people who bring negative energy into the world. What will she do next start twirling and chanting that she is Gone With The Wind Fabulous? This chick is like legally insane! Ashlee says she is so glad that she is not on a milk carton. Amanda points out that Ashlee is a grown woman who LEFT THE VINEYARD ON FOOT and Chanel looked for her for hours and could not find her. She put herself in a dangerous situation. Casey is now getting pissed as if Amanda is somehow being mean by speaking about the reality of the situation. Ashlee is making me want to shoot my TV Elvis Pressley style! In her talking head she is gleeful that Amanda apologized and that she is going to feel so much better for doing so. I mean my head my literally implode! Ashlee says that she is sorry that Amanda does things out of anger.
They finally just through the damn bread on the water. And that will likely be the last we see of Ashlee. For that, I think we can all say Amen!
OH MY GOD. This episode killed me.
Ashlee “hitch hiked” to the hospital? What a drama queen, poor Ashlee she had to hitch hike like a common hooker. Ashlee is such a moron. I thought the same thing as you, she had a phone didn’t she? Was she passed out in the grape vines? Yeah why didn’t she just ask Chanel to come get her? What an idiot!
I used to like Casey because she’s ok looking compared to the others, but she annoys me. Mostly her voice annoys me. It’s like she has a slight frontal mouth lisp or like an underbite or something. I can’t figure it out. Her face doesn’t bother me like some of the others but something about her voice…
I feel bad (nah not really) that Ashlee stroked out, but um excuse me… what has she accomplished? I hate people like Ashlee, that are proud of themselves for no reason. This asshole can’t do anything on her own. What are we supposed to celebrate you for? Being alive? Sorry that’s not an accomplishment. The milk carton comment made me laugh. Ashlee is 30 years old!
So I guess that’s the last of this train wreck. Thankfully we have Below Deck to keep us entertained the rest of the summer.
Oh my god!! Watching this show makes me grateful that I’m Canadian….these (cough cough GAG!) princesses are about as entertaining as watching cows get artificially inseminated….The only cast member who has a smidgen of likeability is chanel….the rest are ridiculosly self asorbed and no wonder there not married….who wants to listen to 5th graders whine about how you stole my boyfriend a gazzilion years ago? And she is the least attractive (Erica) out of all these girls so obviously whoever gave her the “hottest girl” moniker was most likely paid. Big fat jewish money of course….
Omein!
If Ashley thinks her portrayal on this program will bring her a Prince Charming, she is delusional. And her parents are enablers. Ashley needs a course in common sense. Who at 30 can’t use kitchen appliances?
ROFLMAO ohhhhh did I know this recap would be good!!!! I am still laughing…
As always great job TT… And I agree with every word!!!
Bravo can’t renewing this train wreck? TT, do you know?
I haven’t followed the ratings, but I think Andy regrets pissing off all the Jews. So I doubt it.
TT, your re-cap is hysterical.
I find it impossible to believe that Ashlee has had a stroke (didn’t she say she had 2 strokes?), not because that can’t happen to a young person, but because everything she says and does is designed to get attention. I know it is mean-spirited of me to say this, but I need to see the medical records, preferably before her father has a chance to pay someone to doctor them. Amanda, the only one that showed some balls in this episode, had it exactly right when she said Ashlee put herself in danger.
I just despise delusional people. Crazy is fine, Stupid is fine, pretty much anything is fine with me as long as you own your crazy, stupid, evil.
8 months later ashlee would not be this much better — cray cray and infantile and all. personal experience here. offended she’s even including herself with people who’ve gone thru this. drama queen and egomaniac fits the bill better. time for her to go. wouldnt mind watching the others if they revamped the show.
Thank God you are back, TT! I couldn’t survive a minute longer without this recap. Between Ashlee on LI Princesses and Ryan on RHOOC…I was dying this week.
I am sorry. Part of my crazy is I freak out if I HAVE TO leave the house. If I want to, that is fine but HAVING TO GO SOMEWHERE to get Wi-Fi is driving me into the hole of depression. I don’t do well with HAVE TO. So I am basically frozen with OMG I have to go somewhere otherwise my site is not going to get views and I will never get a big enough draw to support myself and I might as well just lay here and cry because everything sucks and I can’t fix it.
Plus I had stomach issues and sort of need to stay close to home…
I have no idea why I can piggyback off someone’s Internet tonight but it is helping the crazy tremendously.
I’m so happy to finally get this review, I was checking all day yesterday and today. There are so many things wrong with Ashlee it’s absurd. The mixed cheeses was the most ridiculous but the fact that no one calls her own is beyond crazy to me. I would have straight up said “STFU Ashlee you are a manipulating moron stuck in 10th grade” It almost feels like everyone treads lightly around the horrid Casey too, since she has no problem blindly supporting Ashlee and being hateful to anyone who might see things rationally. They deserve eachother. I actually hate Casey more than I hate Ashlee at this point. Casey has zero redeeming qualities. Well, Ashlee doesn’t either.
Sorry for the delay. I am having some issues with Internet, the crazy and actual illness so if I can’t get on from here… I am usually…. rocking back and forth.
Aw cute, like in Bless the Child? Don’t worry, we are rocking back and forth too. I’m glad its a mutual unhealthy love/addiction
actually, i don’t mind that she supported her friend. friends do that. i certainly want my friends to take my side. casey wasn’t there to know better what happened. so far ashlee has been lucky enough to draw enablers around her. i’m betting eventually casey will realize she backed the wrong horse.
you really think so?? i think casey is legitimately as crazy as ashlee. friend or not, wrong is wrong and right is right and casey seems to think that wrong is right if it’s your friend that’s doing the wrong. such a wacko.
Amanda finally made up for the drink hanky by calling Ashley out for being a grown assed woman who put herself in that situation.
Speaking of Amanda, when that gay guy asked for applause for that commitment bullshit I would have booed his ass if i was her .
Thank goodness for Amanda! Ashlee is so pathetic. If she really did have a stroke, it would explain why her parents are so overprotective of her, but who knows?
Everyone on Tv can look like fools except for Jews. Thanx Andy!
I sincerely have never been so shocked and made sick by any one human’s behavior EXCEPT that of Jodi Arias! Mr. and Mrs. Arias should reach out to the Whites and implore them to get immediate psychiatric help for their delusional, narcissistic, sociopath daughter, Ashlee, before its too late!
so I just finished reading Ashlee’s Aug 6 bravo blog entitled … get this … “I Have Lupus”. The blog confirms that she supposedly had a 2nd stroke, but the blog says the 2nd stroke happened “After the show …”, which I take to mean after the finale was filmed. Yet, I’m nearly certain she referred to the 2nd stroke at the end of the finale episode, when they were at the pond … anyone else recall? The blog does not say how long recovery took after this 2nd stroke, only that “… I recovered much quicker this time. Then, a couple months later, I was diagnosed with Lupus”. Did she mention Lupus in the finale episode too ? … drat! I wish I’d recorded it.
so she is again trying to use health issues to excuse bad behavior. nothing else to draw on to explain what she did. my best friend has lupus, between us we have the stroke and lupus direct experience to know that ashlee comes across as not suffering from either. she’s just a manipulative little narcissist. it does a huge disservice to people actually suffering from this. what a putrid little troll she is. no sympathy from me here. i certainly don’t manipulate my friends with my health issues. why in the world let a good life and good people pass you by? [not at all comparing this to an anxiety condition that keeps someone trapped inside. apples and oranges. TT is funny, fun, and communicates with a lot of people who look forward to her posts. can anyone say that about someone like ashley? besides her parents, i think not…]