For reasons unknown, Ashlee does the opening spiel. It’s all about how Jelly is crucifying her and is a bad person. Ashlee, Jelly is the only decent person on the show. Well, I like Chanel too but she is a distant second to our Jelly. And It’s your fucking annoying retard voice that had us all thinking her name is Jelly, bitch. And now she probably hates us all for keeping the name. Oh how to I despise you, let me count the ways…
Amanda and her sister(?) somehow end up at an engagement ring store. Amanda, who doesn’t pick up on any social cues, is completely oblivious to the fact that her gay fiancé is going to give her his grandmother’s engagement ring. Why would a dude show up at dinner with his parents and his girlfriend and just so happen to have his family heirloom engagement ring there for her to try on. Plus, does dude even have a job?
Ashlee confronts Erica about telling Jelly that Ashlee did not want anyone to be friends with Jelly. I don’t want Erica and Ashlee to be friends with Jelly either. She is too good for both of them. Ashlee points out that she is Erica’s true friend and the only one who has her back.
Amanda and Jeff are having dinner with both parents. Jeff puts on a display of heterosexuality that blind children could see. Amanda’s mother is so not down with an engagement, which I really expected to happen at dinner, and Jeff parents are equally desperate to unload him on any female that is sufficiently clueless.
Casey and her friend, Leila are out in the city talking about the other girls. Casey talks about the Long Island issue of getting married to a stereotypical Jewish boy. She likes artists with tattoos and is a lot edgier than the other girls. Casey in not feeling the whole vineyard/dinner at the yacht club trip Erica planned.
It’s time for the trip. I guess Jelly drowning Ashlee is not an option, but a girl can dream. Ashlee is afraid of heights. She had to walk up a whole flight of STAIRS! OMG! The DANGER!
While they are enjoying tons of wine and some cheese and whore derves out in the vineyard, (Yes James, I know that is not how you spell it) Erica’s numerous STDS become an issue. She should probably figure out why it hurts when she pees without bringing it up over a meal on national television. In order to deflect from her herpes outbreak or whatever is going on with her, she throws the attention on the baby elephant in the vineyard, Ashlee. I would like shoot Ashlee with and elephant guy. She is sofa king hideous! Ashlee says that Jelly’s mom was right about her! What does that mean. Ashlee calls her mommy sobbing. Her mom says everyone is jealous of her. THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY. Anytime anyone acts like an ass and gets called on it, the go to reaction these days is that someone is jealous of them. DELUSIONAL PARTY OF THREE, your table is ready Ashlee with your Mommy and Daddy. I feel like one of those neurotic Tre-Huggers. DON’T FUCK WITH OUR JELLY YOU LITTLE DELUSIONAL TROLL DOLL. If this show has a season two, and I HIGHLY doubt it will, they need to get rid of Ashlee, Erica, Amanda and Jeff.
Oh lord, Ashlee wants Daddy to send a plane instead of a car service. Why is Chanel on Ashlee’s side??? Now Chanel is making Casey want to beat down OUR JELLY? OH HAIL (James I realize that is spelled wrong) NOE (that too!) Next week Ashlee is in the hospital. Mental? Did she get hit by a car wondering drunk down the road? We shall see on the finale of this shit fest.