Okay, so 30 year old Ashlee is having a sleepover because her parents are out of town and she doesn’t want to stay in the house alone. There are no words. She also thinks “making snacks” involves buying pre-cubed cheese and playing with it with her dirty little hands while calling her mother to complain that the cheese is mixed. “That is what poor people eat!” she whines. Who knew rich people segregated their pre-cubed grocery store cheese? Is Ashlee the only “rich person” on the planet that doesn’t know you can pick up a charcuterie and a decent cheese plate from any civilized restaurant and not have to lift a grimy little sausage finger to make anything?
Chanel and Ashlee do not know how to open a wine bottle. I am surprised that Ashlee is not wearing footie pajamas. Ashlee needed to shave her upper lip before doing her talking head. They also don’t know how to play “Never Have I Ever” which is sad and also makes Ashlee a possible 30 year old virgin.
Joey talks to her father about her business. He is not supportive. He gives her 90 days to be out of the house. She goes looking for apartments and is disgusted by everything, and rightly so.
This dinner with Erica and Rob and Erica’s parents is ridiculous. I don’t even know how to recap it. It has to be completely fake.
We are treated to a dinner scene with Amanda and Jeff. They are setting up Amanda. I may have to fast forward through this. Marcos is a clone of Ashlee’s dad if her dad was straight and had hair. So of course she loves him. Marco is 51 and from Venezuela. He is asking her what languages she speaks. Sadly she doesn’t speak any languages. I think she should marry him quickly before he gets to know her. Is NJ a community property state? Marcos takes everyone to an old people disco. Because, um, he is old. (Apologies to the old people reading). Marcos dances with every lady there and Ashlee gets pissed and leaves.
Chanel is now claiming to be a Maghrebi Jew? She doesn’t seem to be Moroccan to me. And the bridal call she attempted was more feather Indian than North African. I am not even sure there are any North African Jews in the US. This show is so weird. Sorry, I got side-tracked the scene is something about Chanel writing a wedding toast. I also don’t think Jews for North Africa are orthodox. But I am not the person to ask about Jewish stuff. I just happened to know a bit about North Africa.
So the wedding happens, Chanel survives and her sister gives her a blessing. Her wedding speech and her sister is not even listening. To be fair, no one wants to listen to those speeches.
And that is more or less what happened.