Okay, so 30 year old Ashlee is having a sleepover because her parents are out of town and she doesn’t want to stay in the house alone. There are no words. She also thinks “making snacks” involves buying pre-cubed cheese and playing with it with her dirty little hands while calling her mother to complain that the cheese is mixed. “That is what poor people eat!” she whines. Who knew rich people segregated their pre-cubed grocery store cheese? Is Ashlee the only “rich person” on the planet that doesn’t know you can pick up a charcuterie and a decent cheese plate from any civilized restaurant and not have to lift a grimy little sausage finger to make anything?
Chanel and Ashlee do not know how to open a wine bottle. I am surprised that Ashlee is not wearing footie pajamas. Ashlee needed to shave her upper lip before doing her talking head. They also don’t know how to play “Never Have I Ever” which is sad and also makes Ashlee a possible 30 year old virgin.
Joey talks to her father about her business. He is not supportive. He gives her 90 days to be out of the house. She goes looking for apartments and is disgusted by everything, and rightly so.
This dinner with Erica and Rob and Erica’s parents is ridiculous. I don’t even know how to recap it. It has to be completely fake.
We are treated to a dinner scene with Amanda and Jeff. They are setting up Amanda. I may have to fast forward through this. Marcos is a clone of Ashlee’s dad if her dad was straight and had hair. So of course she loves him. Marco is 51 and from Venezuela. He is asking her what languages she speaks. Sadly she doesn’t speak any languages. I think she should marry him quickly before he gets to know her. Is NJ a community property state? Marcos takes everyone to an old people disco. Because, um, he is old. (Apologies to the old people reading). Marcos dances with every lady there and Ashlee gets pissed and leaves.
Chanel is now claiming to be a Maghrebi Jew? She doesn’t seem to be Moroccan to me. And the bridal call she attempted was more feather Indian than North African. I am not even sure there are any North African Jews in the US. This show is so weird. Sorry, I got side-tracked the scene is something about Chanel writing a wedding toast. I also don’t think Jews for North Africa are orthodox. But I am not the person to ask about Jewish stuff. I just happened to know a bit about North Africa.
So the wedding happens, Chanel survives and her sister gives her a blessing. Her wedding speech and her sister is not even listening. To be fair, no one wants to listen to those speeches.
And that is more or less what happened.
Ashlee is a classic case of Mean Girl who dishes it out all day long but can’t take it. She is gross.
Had to turn this one off at the cheese comment. These girls are just pathetic. Except Jelly. Jelly can stay.
First time commenting on a blog….ever! Love all your recaps! I myself am a modern orthadox North African Jew, who also happens to know chanels family, there is a very large population of North African Jews in the us actually. Keep up the good work, love your snark and sarcasm 😉
YAY for finally getting you to post! I knew I was going out of my wheelhouse with the Jewish stuff. That Moroccan thing was just sprung on me at the last minute. 🙂 Thanks for straightening me out.
Your recaps of this show are my favorite. “I think she should marry him quickly before he gets to know her.” hahaha. She is a funny looking chick. Reminds me of the character in Rocky Horror Picture Show (taking ya’ back) that had no neck.
The only character i can think of w/o a neck was Riff Raff but he was male?
Seriously — you have to google “rocky horror picture show no neck.” It’s a minor male character, but in drag would be Ashlee.
who doesn’t love jelly? i love her and i love that she gets under ashlee’s skin. ashlee is a hot mess, i don’t know if i could even stand to be in the same room with her. i really can’t wait to see ashlee get her ass handed to her next week.
Ashlee is a virgin!!!!! hahaahhaa oh my god. Not surprising but still hilarious.
What is Joey’s business again? Fragrances? Joey disappointed me this episode because I thought she was the most down to Earth and yet during apartment shopping she seemed to be a brat just like the rest with high expectations for her first apartment. Whose first apartment is not a shithole?
Chanel looked pretty at her sister’s wedding.
I like Amanda because she looks like a Jewish lady gaga. And she totally knows Jeff is gay and doesn’t care. They have fun. I like watching them.
can’t wait to watch. totally agree re the first apartment shithole comment…. but doesnt bravo provide fake luxury housing for some of its reality TV stars?
Don’t apologize to the old people reading!! Apologize to those of us who used to love going to discos! Oh yeah and makes me old. Shame on you for being an oldist and a discoist…. 🙂
Lol maybe Ashlee is gay?
There are moroccan jews in the US. Not sure if Chanel is one of them. But many do exist. My family is from Morocco and although we arent Jews we know many and yes they live in America also lol.
Name one. There are not a lot of Moroccan Jews in North Africa period. Most of them emigrate to France or a French speaking country. I’m sure there are a few of everything in the US but Maghrebi Jews are not numerous here. Iranian Jews are everywhere. Moroccan not so much.
Really ? I know tons of Moroccan Jews who live in Ny/Nj….. also, many Israelis are Moroccan Jews. It is by far not a tiny minority amongst the Jewish people….. Also, many of the Moroccan Jews I know are 2nd or 3rd generation out of Morocco and simply classify themselves “Israeli” when they are amongst Americans. So next time you meet an Israeli ask if them if they are of Moroccan descent – you will probably hear a lot of yes’es ….
So is there any chance whatsoever of there being a second season of this show? Will there be any sort of reunion? It seems like Bravo has completely cut it loose, other than airing the remaining episodes.
Do you want another episode? It’s barely entertaining, the best part of the show is Ashlee’s gay dad.
Magic Eight Ball Says : Outlook is poor.
LOL @ Magic Eight Ball 🙂 SB – It’s completely stupid but I can’t look away.
Your magic eight ball says: the outlook is pour.
Someone made this point last week and it was so on point. These girls all seem to be born and raised to get married, yet none of them seem to have anything “wifey” about them. They seem to be into the “traditional gender roles” and expect a man to take care of them yet they can’t cook, won’t clean, don’t want to birth children, yet they expect a rich guy to take care of them. Doesn’t make any sense. Like Chanel and Erica last week. They want a guy to buy them a house but they aren’t interested in cooking dinner for them.
The girls are all taking to twitter to rally people to beg Andy for a season two.
Please no. They give jews a bad name. I am sick of Oompa Lumpa Ashley acting like poor people are a disease. And her father? OMG. That man is fricking creepy and acts like Ashley is his girlfriend. Mama looks drugged all the time and needs some serious plastic surgery.
First, apologies that I use “jelley” as a name bc I’m not THE jelly. But I’m ok with that.
These girls are all so judgmental, but then again, we’re all judging them for it so i don’t know if that makes us much better? I really like Chanel and don’t really get how she’s in her situation (single). Relative to her group of friends, she’s down to Earth and attractive and has a personality.
I was thoroughly disappointed at the lack of Jeff camera time this week.
I feel bad for Joey bc I think her kiss a mint thing isn’t going to go anywhere. And I really hope those stupid drink hankies don’t go anywhere, either. Don’t they already exist, except they’re called koozies and serve a functional purpose?
I so wish you were the real Jelly because I would buy you a drink and sit down for a little talk about the amount of BS you allow in your life and how that is totally unacceptable.
And I would have a talk about her not living off her dad for years and expecting him to keep doing it. She is full of shit half the time. Get a fricking job and work hard to get your idea out. You don’t need two years to figure out the taste you want.
I agree. At least Ashlee owns that she’s an overgrown kingergartener. Joey acts like she’s some hard working self-made career woman. I do feel bad for her because she put all of her eggs in one basket with her kiss a mint thing and it’s a stupid idea that isn’t going to make enough money to support her “modest” lifestyle.
Ain’t nothing stupider than a drink hanky.