Despite all of the recent controversy with Long Island: Princesses up to and including their invitation to appear on WWHL being revoked, Bravo made a brief apology, and the show went on as usual.
Ashley, Chanel’s little sister, is getting married. Chanel is trying to hang tough through the entire dress shopping ordeal, bless her heart. There are way too many awkward comments from mother, shopkeepers etc. Ashley has terrible taste in dresses. Oh wait the third dress is decent. Thankfully everyone agrees. Her sister makes Chanel try on a wedding dress. How humiliating. Chanel is such a good sport. I really feel for what she is going through.
Casey, Jelly and Ashlee go Jewish speed dating. Chanel was supposed to go but she got stuck with wedding planning. Joey is nervous without Chanel as a buffer against the other two. The guys shown are um… well let’s just say I hope they are rich. Jelly tells one, “I can see you as a furry.” This ladies and germs is why I love her best and violate my own “no silly name rule” for her. Jelly is love. Jelly is so over these guys she is asking guys how big of a package they are working with, and how many girls they have slept with. It’s hilarious. Ashlee and Casey are not having nearly as much fun. In fact they are appalled by her behavior, because they are boring fucks. They are also freezing Jelly out in that way that sometimes happens in groups of three. They are literally ignoring her. Joey goes to the bar and gets drunk with the bartender while complaining about Casey and Ashlee and then leaves them.
Amanda, the anti-patriot with the stupidest business idea in the world is out with her photographer/straight boyfriend. She wants to have a party for the damn hanky. Oh wait even her straight boyfriend is gay. She is a gay magnet and does not know it. Her guy friend donating money for the party is only a half-step less gay than Jeff. Girlfriend is a gay magnet with broken gaydar. Poor thing.
Jelly and Erica are out at some cool bar/restaurant with a fire pit so that Jelly can carry the gossip from speed dating. Slutty Erica is immediately offended she wasn’t invited despite the fact she is SUPPOSED to be in a relationship. Erica barely listens to Jelly and then talks about how Rob always wants to see her all the time and it is annoying. She says she feels emasculated. I swear that is what she said. She is emasculated because her boyfriend expects to spend time with her. How dare he?
Erica and Jelly go to look for a guy for Jelly but Erica takes several phone numbers. Jelly is embarrassed and decides to leave. Erica reluctantly leaves with her but continues interrogating strange men on the sidewalk.
Ashlee has a date and her mother is encouraging her to show some tit. Oh, her date is the nervous guy from speed dating. I actually thought he was the only diamond in the rough in the speed dating pool. Wish he would have gone for Casey or Jelly over Ashlee though. Ashlee’s fiancé father immediately asks him why he picked Ashlee and bombards him with questions. What is he supposed to say? I mean he can’t say the producers approached him. He is very nervous. Ashlee hates everything about him. I will admit his laugh is annoying. Still he is way too good for Ashlee.
Erica’s dad asks her to come in and help him in the office. He tells her that if she can’t make it he really needs to know. She says she is coming. I bet she doesn’t. Her dad is telling her that she needs to have a plan. Find a man, Find a job, SOMETHING.
Casey and Chanel go for a walk. Casey asks how she is holding up with the wedding and Chanel loses it. Chanel feels judged for being single. Everyone thinks something is wrong with her. She is a horrible person. All of her friends except Casey are married and pregnant. I want to give her a hug.
Ew, time for Jeff. Amanda is getting made up for damn hanky party. I think Damn Hanky! (a play on damn yankee!) would be a much better name for this crappy business than drink hanky. But truthfully nothing will help it. Besides, she has alienated “those effected by 9/11” with her disrespectful photo shoot, and I hate to be the one to tell her that is all of America, Canada and many people of other nationalities. Ooopsy. At the party Amanda’s gay photog friend hugs her and she says he smells amazing. Then gay photog hugs gay boyfriend and he agrees that he smells magnificent. GAYDAR AMANDA GET SOME!
Next, we play how many gays does it take to hang a step and repeat? The answer is two gays and one beard. Amanda actually says in her talking head, “How is it that out of me, my boyfriend and the photog and I am the most butch one here?” I think you need to take some time to contemplate that question deeply at some point, Amanda. She is selling the hankies rather than giving them away at the party. Um, what? Eventually all the princesses arrive and Jelly is not going to acknowledge Ashlee or Casey. I am shocked that Ashlee’s fiancé father is not there. Jeff asks Rob about Erica and he says basically that her drinking is a problem. Erica says no relationship is ever going to be perfect and at her age it is time to shit of get off the pot, so she’s guesses she is going to shit. Who could ask for a sweeter sentiment than that?
Someone threw ice and a drink at Chanel at the party and there was a minor physical altercation. Ashlee starts bitching at Jelly for checking on Chanel like she is in charge of who can speak to her. The guy throwing the party comes in and screams for people not to start any drama. Chanel says she is not starting and drama and to get out of her face. It’s PANDAMONIUM! The salon dude hits the camera and says for everyone to get out of his salon. Ashlee marches outside to a table down the sidewalk with Chanel and the rest follow. Ashlee tells Chanel to ask Jelly to leave if she comes to the table. When Jelly comes over, Ashlee says everyone thinks Jelly is a bad person. Jelly asks Erica and Chanel if this is true. They both say no. Jelly tells Ashlee no one is on her side. Chanel appears to be trying to get the camera man find the bitch that threw the drink. Erica seem sober and reasonable!!! But she has not acknowledged her boyfriend at the party. Jeff on the other hand has spent time with him. Just saying. Then, all the sudden out of nowhere, Chanel jumps up and before the others can stop her she is going after the bitch that assaulted her and caused all the drama. Sweet Chanel is about to take out a year of simmering wedding trauma on a bitch! The bitch is MASSIVE. At least 6′ 250lbs. Chanel bitch slaps the girl. Ashlee and Chanel leave. The rest of the girls talk. Chanel says in her talking head that the behavior at her party does not represent the image of her company, but she hopes that the drink that the girl threw has a drink hanky on it.
And that leaves us with three more episodes to endure.
These women make NeNe, Kenya, Teresa G.and Vicki G. look normal.
Ashlee has got to be the worst thing to come out of Bravo yet. She’s not even fun to hate.
Uggghhhh I hate myself for watching this show! My boyfriend works on Sunday nights so I’ve been sucked into this and RHNJ (which I think I’m done with after tonight). But the recaps have been hilarious so I got sucked in. Anyhoo….
Ashlee is a snob. The only reason she doesn’t like Joey is because she’s from the “ghetto” and is a “south side girl”. I vaguely remember them showing Ashlee’s parent’s house, and while nice, was by no means a beautiful mansion. She’s shallow, vapid and isn’t pretty enough to find a dumb rich guy to put up with her shit.
My take on Erica is that she was the most popular girl in high school and is clinging to her former glory by partying and whoring like a 20 year old.
tamara if i were a guy i’d ask u to marry me. you are so funny! betting your recap is again better than the show. i actually get a kick out of the show, it is so over the top. but i feel like telling each girl: find a good guy with a lot of patience coz your looks are gonna go fast. i can look at each girl and see right away what she’ll look like in 10-15 yrs and it aint pretty. erica has a treasure in rob but she’s just too sleazy to realize it.
Thanks so much! I love positive feedback after a long (but fun) day of blogging!
This is the first episode I’ve watched in a while.
Ashlee is so awful! Short girls like Ashlee are little yuck dogs to me. Just barking and barking hoping someone will notice them.
I wish Joey would beat her ass and show her how ghetto she really is. But she never will because it wouldn’t be a fair fight, and Ashlee would call her dad and then Ashlee’s dad would go to Joey’s house to yell at her. Yep, that’s how it’d play out. So Joey should just keep marching through Ashlee whenever she feels like it instead.
Short people got no reason live. They got little hands Little eyes They walk around Tellin’ great big lies They got little noses And tiny little teeth They wear platform shoes On their nasty little feet
Well, I don’t want no short people round me.
Telling my age (lol) but I DO remeber that song!
Ashlee is under the misconception that she is funny, adorable and endearing. Obviously her parents have deluded her. She is obnoxious, ignorant and out of touch with reality. Her parents did her no favors spoiling her so much.
great description of ashlee. yappy dog, or a troll.
It’s really sad,why would anyone want a person that is whiney,unconfident and disrespects the Jewish rituals and 9/11. It’s great tv but sad that you know this is one unscripted reality show….no one can write this hot unattractive mess. They are all pathetic. Not one of them has any humility or class.long island women are not like this,I am from long island and I don’t look,ct,or sound anything like that.and I’m single,Jewish,hot and blonde.I don’t think getting married is the end all to be all…they are followers worrying to much what people they don’t know or even like think bout them. They need a week in Jeanine boot camp.men like a sexy strong confident woman…not a bunch of yenta”s…
Um, I would like to apply for a scholarship to this bootcamp. 🙂
so i am rewatching this and i can’t help but notice that nasty ashlee needs a lip wax! she is such an annoying troll! i love jelly and i love channel! can’t help it.
amanda is an annoying moron, she has to know her boyfriend is gay, really!
I can’t believe there is no mention of Jeff screaming “I’m in the closet””…”Im in the closet while Amanda is getting dressed. Personally Amanda and Jeff are pulling a Kenya Walter scam. They know he’s gay and we know he is and they love the buzz it creates
When Jeff said that, I thought, “Well, he’s finally admitting it.”
I missed this show tonight! Thank the Lord, I was finally sleeping! TT, I enjoyed your recap much more than I would have enjoyed the show! I also enjoyed your short people poem as it describes me, sort of, as I am short…a little over 5 foot. BUT I don’t tell big lies nor do I have nasty feet! LOL
That was part of the song “Short People” by Randy Newman. I remember that song and thought it was funny. Thanks TT for bringing that ack.
*back.
I like Amanda and her dumb idea makes her more likeable than dumb Ashlee or Ericka….I think Ashlee’s daddy is gonna have to buy her a husband, cause her daddy issues run so deep she’ll never find one otherwise…Jelly is an ass and Erica is a tramp…I kinda only like Amanda and Chanel, but Chanel has bad taste in men and she’s slightly crazy…I don’t see any of these broads ever getting married, they are WAY to focused on it
I actually don’t mind Amanda either. Not sure whats up with her and her gay boyfriend, but she isn’t mean or selfish unlike Ashlee and Erica. I feel the 9/11 disrespect was pure ignorance, not that that is a valid excuse, but I don’t think she’s a bad person. Her mom needs to lay off the orange skin and lavender lipstick.
That’s my thought. She was just an idiot, like we all have been in our 20’s. but she seems like. Genuinely goofy chick, with horrible gaydar! Lol
This show is one of those train wreck shows that I can’t help but watch! You sit on the couch with your mouth hanging open because you can’t believe this goes on anywhere in the US. OMG. Ashlee, that little hairy toad, is the worst. Man, if/when she gets out into the real world, god help her. It will be on!! When she called her dad because she was in Freeport and felt unsafe, I was like, is this chick serious right now? No one can be this oblivious.. But I was so wrong. I feel sorry for when Amanda finds out her totally unatractive whiny sinus infection of a boyfriend is using her to convince himself he doesn’t have to come out of the closet. Ick. Doesn’t your skin crawl when he talks? Can you imagine him touching you? Oh I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. The only one I sort of like is Joey. She seems more normal. Who is the crazy one still made about a high school boyfriend steal? Maybe it’s because they feel so much pressure to get married. I have TONS of Jewish friends and I never saw all this craziness. Is it just in Long Island? Surely not. I can’t impagine staying home, not working, living off my parents, and doing nothing waiting for some rich guy to marry me. Then what? I didn’t marry until I was 30, and frankly I was too young back then, if you ask me. Chanel will hopefully stop worrying about the husband stuff and just get a life. Does anyone work at a job? I didn’t get a sense of that. It is one crazy show. Only place that I will admit watching it is on here.
Hilarious blog!
Loved your recap!! Note to self…one manhattan with show next time – two and “someone” starts yelling at the TV.
Ashlee – you are never getting married…you are a unemployed fug snooty bitch who will never be as cute as you think you are. You scheeve guys with your 16 year old questions and your DaddyHusband has spoiled you useless. Take a seat, Frodo…
Amanda – buy GAYDAR, not fabric. You need to buy it and get it turned on because all the men around you are GAY!!!!! I gots me some fabulous gays in my life, but I know that they are…GAY! And your drink hankie? Have a seat, girlfriend….GAY!!!
Chanel – I know…your sister is getting married and that probably is why you wanted to throw down on the blurry gigantor, but girl, that thing could hurt you. Have a seat and some coffee.
Erica – The only way you could be hot is if you sat in front of a working fireplace for 16 hours and even then I would check before I would take your word on it. Take a seat…and try to keep your legs together, okay?
Casey – seriously, you are not the voice of reason. I cannot look at you without that image of you in that stupid head band ugly crying. Take a seat…once you get that stick out of your ass.
Joey – you can stand up and wave, girl! I am liking you!!
you hit all the nails on the head! joey is the most normal and reasonable. i have no idea how a ew of these chicks are thinking they are all that. it great that ashlee has good self esteem, but it is very miss placed, that girl will never be married and will never be happy. her parents are as annoying as she is.
I am more than a little smug when I say I have never laid an eyeball on this show! I also feel I may be recovering from my Bravo addiction – there is hope. I do read the blog, um, er for a friend and it’s a great read. Isn’t that Gina Marie from BB from Long Island? No good role models from LI right now. Anyway I have no idea what a drink hanky might be but it sounds stupid.
I am so happy you have such a great blind friend, Linda. 🙂
favorite quote of the nite, by amanda: “my party has become a mosh pit.” LOL