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You are here: Home / WWHL / WWHL With The Newlyweds: First Year Cast

WWHL With The Newlyweds: First Year Cast

June 29, 2013 by tamaratattles 20 Comments

WWHLOMG. Andy is introducing everyone and everyone looks about the same EXCEPT for Alaska! Dear God what has happened to his hair? This is not a haircut for a straight black male.  Kathryn looks happy and fantastic.

Jeff and Blair Updates: OMG Jeff’s parents sent him a mean letter after the first episode aired and he hasn’t heard from them since. Something about how “real rejection is rejecting your brother at the hospital” when Jeff was three. I hate Jeff’s parents. Blair sent them a response letter. I wish we had a copy.

Q: How is the sex life? Blair is doing all the talking, natch. He says after that long day of filming the sex therapy scenes they were ready to get down but they were also starving so the stopped at (speaking to Andy) one of your Top Chef After the Show restaurants ‘Friends’ (He means Fabio’s Italian restaurant in West Hollywood, Firenze Osteria click for link with reviews) and the both had the calamari and got food poisoning for 15 hours. Oh, Blair, way to piss off Andrew. Jeff says sex is improving, that he prioritizes it now. And Blair says he does enemas now and that helps. This gets the “Oh SWEETIE!” response from Andy. When he says “oh sweetie” he is NOT being nice. Andy’s face registered the complete disgust he was feeling and the others all let our a collective eeewwwwww… Then Andy says to we have another call for them or do we move on. There is another called and you can tell Andy wishes there was not. Magically, that caller is not there either. No callers have made it on the air yet do to technical difficulties.  Andy is relieved to move on.

newlywedsKathryn and John Updates:

Q. Many variations of do you feel bad for being such a selfish prick? He says absolutely. And he was glad he has such an understanding wife. Kathryn says watching the show together she saw how big she really was and felt like John got robbed of his wife during the first year his marriage. Blair does the dramatic jaw drop and says, “Are you kidding me? and you look fabulous by the way.” She really does look amazing. And she seems very happy to defend him.

Q. Why does John think that looking after his own son is babysitting rather than parenting?  Kathyrn says she tells him that all the time. He is getting better. They are newlyweds and learning together. She says John is “moldable.”

Q. How is John as a father? He’s amazing

newtinatarzTina and Tarz Updates: Tina had a baby TWO WEEKS AGO and looks like a million bucks.  Seriously I can’t believe that is even possible. Her waist is tiny and her stomach is washboard flat. The baby boy came 6 weeks early and looks like Tarz. There is absolutely no doubt she got a tummy tuck on the delivery table. They can’t share the name because USWeekly has the exclusive. This pissed off Andy.

Q. Tarz what was it like looking back on the show and how Tina treated you? Tina covers her face. Tarz gives some answer about how he absorbs her energy. It was a non answer. Blair interrupts to say that Tarz has no penis because she chewed it off. We can see that Blair is still Blair and has not toned down at all. He interrupts again with I think an Iron Man comment he is difficult to understand because he talks so fast.

Q. What was the story with Heather last week? Tarz says he kept thinking it was a joke because Tina’s dad is a prankster. But it wasn’t, they want us to believe. When asked how things are with him now, Tina says he is running from his pain traveling all over Europe and Asia. They are buying a new house and there is an extra plot and he wants to build a guest house on it and live with them. He is very attached to the baby. Tarz says that is not happening.

Q. What was some of the fun stuff you did for your honeymoon challenges? We did a lot! They saw a psychic, the went rock climbing, lots of fun stuff.

Alaska and Kim Updates:

Q. Alaska, looking back do you think that it was right trying to turn Kim into your mom and to compare her to your mom? He says he is not trying to turn her into his mom but he does think it is okay to compare her because that is like the prerequisite and she surpassed that. Everyone awwwwws. I am waiting for Blair to jump up and scream, “DUDE! GET OUT OF THE CLOSET!” let’s watch what happens!

Q. Have you changed the ways you speak to her? By the way, these softball questions are from Andy because phone lines are down. He says they’ve changed but they (editors) missed a lot of my sarcasm. He says he is definitely a jerk but that there were many times that he was being sarcastic and they missed his punchlines.

Q. How did you feel about finding out that Kim kept all of her money separately? Alaska says just found that out like last week. He is okay with it but has cut back his contributions somewhat. (Sounds like he is stashing money too.)

We try the caller question again, and it works! Q. Male caller says that Alaska says that in his religion the male is dominant in the relationship. Was he just using that to get what he wants? Alaska said he leads, but Kim is a strong individual. Kim says she asks people, “Do you want to speak to the man in charge or the woman who knows what is going on.”  Side note: I think Alaska has on clear nail polish. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Okay, yes there is if you are straight.

People kept tweeting Andy that he looked bored, tired and pissed. He says he is in a good mood. He’s lying. We have eyes, Andrew.

Poll Question: Which couple will last the longest?

Tarz and Tina 29%
Kathryn and John 26%
Kim and Alaska  18%
Blair and Jeff 17%

Do you agree with these results? Do you think we will see these people back for Newlyweds: The Second Year? Or another first year with new folks?  Or is it done forever?

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About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Isabella Johannson says

    June 29, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    Perfect recap! I think the couple that will fold first is Alaska and Ms. In-Denial. I was once Ms. In-Denial so I got a feeling this one is headed to splitsville.

    Reply
  2. Tamara says

    June 29, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    I’m just wondering why Tina never posted a picture while she was pregnant. Neither did Tarz. Well none that I could find. And we all know she likes taking pictures of herself. Lol

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 29, 2013 at 6:16 pm

      Hmm maybe they did use a surrogate? If so, she has had a boob job. If not, it’s pregnancy boobs.

      Reply
    • Katrina says

      June 29, 2013 at 6:20 pm

      She probably did not tweet anything because it would give her storyline way. They apparently taped this show over two years ago.

      Reply
      • Karma Grant says

        June 29, 2013 at 6:31 pm

        This is exactly what I was thinking.

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        June 29, 2013 at 6:38 pm

        But I would think since she is a Bollywood pop princess, that she would post information about pregnancy on twitter or facebook for her fans. Maybe it’s not of the Indian culture to do such things.. Hmmm. I don’t know what to think, but she did look great so soon after giving birth, though her skirt was way too short and her boobs were spilling out of the the keyhole cut out of her top.

        Reply
  3. Karma Grant says

    June 29, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    Thank you for the recap!! My stupid dvr decided to take the night off (freeze up all night) that night so I missed the show.

    I saw Tina/Tarz baby’s name in an article, Tarz David Theirlastname. I’m happy for them.

    Glad to know John has improved, I did catch alot of his sarcasm but he was still a douche.

    Glad that Jeff and Blair are still together and working on things.

    Alaska needs to just come out of the closet already, Kim needs to stop covering for him.

    Reply
  4. pischina says

    June 29, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    I’m still calling surrogate, not that there’s anything wrong with that, because there’s not. She had some trouble with at least one pregnancy and was desperate to have a baby, a surrogate would preserve her body for performing, and they have the money. I’m not buying a body like that 2 weeks later, even from a preemie. And post-pregnancy boobs are usually much bigger than that. But I could be wrong!! But I don’t think I am. 😉

    Also, John being alone with their baby 3 times in 6 weeks isn’t bad at all for a new father. I didn’t leave my husband alone with my son until he was three months old — and he promptly locked the baby and the keys in the car at the bank and had to break a window to get him out. Sighhhh…

    I don’t really want to see another season of these couples. It’s called “Newlyweds” so maybe they could change it up every year. And then at the end of each season, catch up with the couples from previous seasons.

    Reply
    • KWM says

      June 29, 2013 at 9:06 pm

      I was skinniest the first 2 months after birth, left the hospital 28 pounds lighter and only gained 32 to to start with. Plus she missed the last month where you gain the most weight. I also used the belly band, it is like a post pregnancy corset to suck it all in and make your tummy flat.

      Reply
    • Katrina says

      June 29, 2013 at 9:33 pm

      Tina had very small boobs pre pregnancy. I just remember those nearly nude pictures. Her boobs were very large on WWHL.
      I like the idea of catching up with previous coiples. Having new couples each year will keep it fresh.

      Reply
  5. Rose says

    June 29, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    Tina said she’d had the baby two weeks before! She looked very good. I might not believe it but within five days of my niece having her first child, one could never tell.

    I’m glad John improved, too. I do like how Kathryn defends him, though, as that is what most wives do ‘at first’! LOL

    Jeff and Blair seemed as happy as they did before they married.

    Do you think Kim was really satisfied with the shower time with Alaska? What is wrong with that guy? Even if he is gay, he is obviously having sex with Kim so why won’t he take a shower with her? Sompin’ ain’t right, there!

    Since this was about the newlyweds first year, I suppose the show will have new couples on. Maybe they will do updates on these 4 couples.

    Reply
  6. Puravidacostarica says

    June 29, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    It is possible that Alaska is bi-sexual and, at least for now, has “chosen” a team….He might defect eventually, but it still might not mean he’s gay.

    Reply
  7. Katrina says

    June 29, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    It looks like most of the couples are improving and learned alot from the experience. I think the WWHL poll was about where I was at the end of the show. The reason I put Alaska and Kim in the middle is because of them living on two coasts. I think someone will have to compromise. I think the distace will drive a wedge between them. My parents were married for 38 years, until she died and she ran the household. He made sure she had everthing. He managed the finances because she liked to shop. She only worked if she wanted too. My mother would say, he might be the head, but I am the neck.
    The only thing I thought was strange about Tina is that if she just had a C section, she has a lot of energy and she was drinking alot. I never thought about a surrogate. Tina seemed to want the pregnantcy experience. If she carried the baby, I bet it was all baby. Tina looked small on camera and we know the camera adds about 10 to 15 pounds.

    Reply
    • Isabella Johannson says

      June 29, 2013 at 11:47 pm

      I lost all my baby weight in two weeks, I bet it was her baby. Can you imagine her letting someone else have her husbands sperm????

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        June 29, 2013 at 11:54 pm

        They showed HER on the air with a pregnancy test. She went through a lot of testing to have a baby herself and the doc said very clearly she could… STILL. I think she had work done on the labor table. And I cannot rule out surrogacy.

        Reply
      • Rose says

        June 30, 2013 at 3:15 am

        Isabella, I think you are correct that Tina would not allow another woman ‘part’ of her husband, even such a teeny, tiny part! LOL

        Reply
  8. The Disher says

    June 30, 2013 at 3:06 am

    Ewww with the enema comment. I like Blair, but that was TMI. AC’s reaction to that comment was priceless. Loved that Blair even repeated it…ewww.

    Reply
    • Rose says

      June 30, 2013 at 3:20 am

      UGH Disher, I’d forgotten about that comment! My daughter was watching the show with me and she nearly fell off the bed laughing. She said, “I guess that’s a gay guys douche!” She laughed even more which made me laugh!

      Reply
  9. James says

    June 30, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    Blair is one of those tacky attention starved gays who realises he’s a dime a dozen among other gays so he gloms on to straight people and “entertains ” them with his sassy and often inappropriate gay stories. And. OMG, that enema thing! No wonder jeff didn’t want any part of that.

    Reply
  10. Linda says

    June 30, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    I totally believe Tina had her baby and looked great. She is a dancer and in very good shape + probably didn’t gain too much weight. I had a flat stomach2 weeks after my second child. I gained 22 lbs. and he was 8lbs 5oc. I sadly was not a dancer but I worked right up to his birth and had another child in the home.I was moderately active and didn’t gain excess weight. She has a dancer’s body and muscle tone. Also there is remarkable shape wear and clothing today, ahem not that I would know but…

    Reply

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