Y’all know I am away for a bit longer today but I just wanted to pop in for a quick minute to say that the Supreme Court has handed down two rulings that support marriage equality. I know this is WAY off topic for this blog but this is a historic day in our country. I am so pleased that DOMA has been struck down as unconstitutional. I adore my gay friends, my straight friends gay children and I am so happy for the impact this will have on them. I have not had time to do a detailed explanation, but essentially what happened today is that as of today, gays who are legally married are entitled to the same sort of FEDERAL benefits as any other married couple. Also, the situation in California where Prop 8 that allowed gay marriage was put on hold for an appeal. If I have that wrongish, sorry the point is gay marriage is legal in California again.
It’s a great day for this country and our constitution that gave us all rights so many years ago. Love is love. And we need more of it. I am going to stop now before I sound even more like a greeting card.
Now if we could just be invited to some fabulous gay CA weddings!
Great wish!
I’ll send photos!
This is such wonderful news!!! Congrats California! A special hug to my step son Larry who lives in OC, I wish you and your FIANCE all the happiness and joy in the world!
So completely and totally thrilled about this. FINALLY!
ive always supported gay marriage. People should have the right to be with who they want..age appropriate..just think how snarky the divorce court shows will be when these start falling apart.
Divorce Court already feature gay and lesbian couples. They are just as entertaining and sometimes sad as the straight couples…
Welcome to the 21st Century!
Wow – Finally ! We need more love in the world. Here’s a lift of the glass and toast to all my old buddies & bosses from the Upper East side of NYC to their beautiful homes in the Hamptons. Fire Island/ La Cage a Folles 1983 !! 🙂
Mmm-Whaaa Darlings !
hmmm…….
…What ? 🙂
My hmmm….comment was 2- fold. Obviously, I was wondering about the e-mail and I got my answer. Secondly……..how do I word this? Are people in support of gay marriage because of the “fabulous” parties/weddings or because it is the politically correct thing to say? Do you think that people are genuinely happy and supportive of this ruling? ~ All kidding aside, I value your opinion.
I am happy because love is an equal opportunity right and finally America is catching up with the rest of the world and seeing that. I have a gay step son, a gay ex husband, a gay aunt, I want them all to have the rights everyone else does. It is a HUMAN RIGHTS issue for me. Love is not about what is in between your legs but in your heart.
Jumped back in – before I go outside. Oh no, Bobbi – I believe there are so many people that are genuine in their happiness. Some of the best bosses I’ve ever had ran one of the first NY Fortune 500 companies run by entirely gay men. I don’t know about all the brew-ha-ha with weddings and all – I just know some wonderful people who were very happy, lovingly faithful and fun, creative people who were more accomplished than myself. They just liked me for me without pretensions. Most of all – I spent quite a few nights discussing their frustrations & heartbreak because they couldn’t have a life like the rest of us. It’s crushing – like it would be if your children could not be with the one they loved and you couldn’t do anything to help them. Partners I knew had been together for years w/o being regarded as family. I don’t see that world much now @ home but I’ve was raised to be inclusive as possible quietly. I never knew it was an issue here – till I moved LA to visit my friends in San Fran. But then we had family in NJ / NY my whole life. ~ I miss traveling – I am an artist.
Thanks, JustUs…..I value your opinion, although I don’t always agree (like Nancy Grace ~ LOL)…..but that’s OK…….On another note, what kind of artist are you? My oldest daughter has a degree in Fine Arts and is a graphic designer/art director at “Family Fun” magazine. She also has a fairly new side business as a wedding planner/coordinator ~ as a matter of fact, she just booked her first GAY wedding! Seems as though other wedding planners were hesitant to take on a gay wedding, but she was more than happy to oblige………So, I guess that’s one of the reasons I questioned people’s motives in supporting gay marriage/rights (or not).
Bobbi – check your emails.
Nothing yet…….did you get mine?
sorry just tried to send. Im in the frantic moments of heading out to the airport. If it didn’t work it will be tomorrow.
Yeah it was forwarded. I shot one out to you yesterday. Sent a back-up today. Look out for it – I didn’t get it back undelivered (yet).
Tamara – Concentrate ! DONT miss you ride or your plane !!!! Dont forget to tip. It’s probably my ISP – grrrr !
No worries…….I just don’t want to be banned for being an annoying twat!
Bobbi – I think it’s a wide thresehold ! ~ You-Shall-Not-Be-Banned ! ~ gandolf in fellowship of the ring… 🙂 Gotta’ run the dog – he gets the mail and paper. We’ll get email thing figued out. ~ Back later.
I have to reply yo this comment instead of the latter due to my fucking kindle and all its quirks. I am sure that Tamara understood my post even though you did not. Mygenuine happiness today is that gay and lesbian couples who marry are given the same federal benefits that I had when being heterodox married as it should have always been. And that my gay friends and any others can get married in CA. However my online posting is usually not this long and serious and I prefer short posts that make me laugh or smile. Such was my post about fabulous weddings. Tamara and I have a longstanding battle over some particular gays and who they love best. She usually wins but denna we have fun and know some fantastic people who just happen to be gay. So yeah, I am fucking stoned over today’s rulings.
my day just went to hell. For the last 2 years my fiance has been taking care of her sick father..1500 miles away. Ive tried to steer my work to take me closer but my family resposibilities and hers keep us apart. I just got a dear steve met someone new dont ever call me again TEXT MSG. So i called and asked how long? Her response was 18 months now. Why didnt she say anything sooner? Didnt want to hurt my feelings. Her new guy PAWNED my grandmothers ring i gave as engagement ring. Now on top of being dumped by text my family is PISSED the ring is gone..blue days ahead
Oh God. My heart goes out to you. Stay strong, everything changes and a year from now, maybe a month from now, this can be the best thing that has ever happened to you. I know that what I speak of.
steve, steve, steve……I’ve read a lot of your posts over the last couple of months and you seem like a terrific guy! This girl does NOT deserve you ~ the right girl is out there looking for someone just like you. Hang in……. things can only get better!
The rage & hurt you feel must be overwhelming.
Maybe you can file a police report against the new boyfriend for stealing YOUR property. If you can legally claim this as stolen property, and if the ring is still at the pawnshop, I think they have to return stolen goods. Do you have pictures of the ring to show that it belongs to your family?
Or consider buying the ring back from the pawnshop as soon as you can. It still may be there. Sue the bitch’s ass for the buy back cost of the ring or the value of the ring if you couldn’t buy it back because she breached your marriage proposal and is not entitled to keep the ring. Keep all texts, e-mails, messages that could support you in court.
That is horrible!!! If you have an appraised value, you can sue her for the ring, but I feel just awful for you. I know your pain. I really do. I had a very similar situation. It took me a long time to get over it, but I did get through and so will you. I know it sounds cliche, but you are lucky that you got to see the kind of person that she is before you got married. This misery now probably saved you even worse misery down the road. The other woman in my situation just recently wrote me a loooooong email via fb begging me to talk to her because she is in living Hell with my ex fiance. I didn’t respond. As she said in her email, he is on to his next victim. I really dodged a bullet with that one. Hang in there Steve.
Oh Steve – my heart just broke for you ! OH ! ~ You’re such a sweet, intelligent man. I don’t want to say all the cliche’s because I’m apt to and truthfully all I can do is just feel it for you. Why do people have to get that extra dig in with the really important things ~ especially the text and ring. Now social media sucks ! There is a different path for you and she wasn’t the one. 🙁
I just want to add. … What kind of dirt bag lets anyone, especially the guy she has been cheating with, pawn someone’s grandmother’s ring?!?! You are definitely lucky to have not married a woman like that!
AMEN to that! If you are ever in Vegas, let me know. If you are younger than me apparently I am a cougar, if you are older, we just might have a real good time!
Geez, lori………I can’t believe the “other woman” had the balls (so to speak) to send you an e-mail ~ what the f**k did she want you to do about it – take him back?……….The “dirt bag” you referenced sounds a bit like Jodi Arias, doesn’t it? I could so picture her pulling this shit ~ and remember, she was the worst thing that ever happened to Travis!
I know. My ex was a sociopath, and I’m not saying that in jest, he really is, so I always knew the day would come when she would want to talk to me. I even told all my friends that a few years back when this was going on. I wasted 3+ years of my life on him, and to this DAY he never admitted to me that he was with this girl, and they’ve now been together for almost 3 years (if they still are together I don’t know). In her email she was begging me to clear up some stuff from the beginning of their relationship when he was still engaged to me. I had actually confronted her back then. I just wanted the truth, but she rolled her car Window up and wouldn’t talk to me. It was then that I told all my friends “the day will come when she is begging to talk to me.” Only someone who has been with a sociopath knows the spell they put on you and how much pain they cause. So when I got the email I was like “here it is! ” “Bet you wish now that you would have spoken with me back when”. She wanted me to help give her closure, when she didn’t even have the decency to speak with me that day.
I didn’t say that to her, I said it to myself. As I said, I never replied. And on top of it, he had tried contacting me many times over the past few years, and of course I never answered. He even called my mother and another time he was wandering up and down my street. If only she knew all of that!
It sounds like you dodged a bullet with this guy – luckily, you got out before it was too late. It also sounds as though he was doing a bit of stalking – that would send shivers up and down my spine!……I sure the hell wouldn’t have answered her e-mail, either ~ she made her bed……..
She’s a bitch… Good riddance to her. I how you find someone that appreciates you- she clearly didn’t.
Steve…F-uck her. Try to see if you can sue for the ring, or call the pawn shop and see if they will sell it to you? If you are super nice to the owner maybe they’ll cut u a deal. But don’t lose any sleep over her.
Don’t know you, but have to give you some internet hugs. Who the HECK goes and pawns off someone else’s family heirloom jewelry? Thank god you found out what this woman really is before you got married to her!
I’m so sorry, but there are laws to help u. First off u call her up and tell her u want the ring back now or u will file a police charges against the new guy for thief. If she doesn’t u file the charges against him. Here’s why, when they talk to the det. She will either have to admit that she gave him permission to sell the ring or that he took it. Then u take the police report along with pictures and a family witness that can testify that the ring was not a gift. That it is engagement ring, along with the value. And take them to small claim court. That can give u back the amount of the ring. Also take the email, text, etc…. That clearly show that u were understanding that she and u were due to marry. That is what she led you to believe.you can also take her to small claims court on television. I prefer if you do do that the best judge to go to would be judge mathis or Judge Judy. they will indeed return back your ring are they will get you the money back. Hope that help.
How are you doing Steve?
BREAKING NEWS, CA LIFTED BAN ON GAY MARRIAGES!
This is a great day!
What makes this a great day for you?
Bobbi, I believe in equal rights, across the board.
Sometimes I feel that people say ” this or that” to be politically correct, without really giving a reason for why they feel the way they do. I hear the word “fabulous” thrown around all the time ~ fabulous weddings, fabulous parties, fabulous couple, etc. It seems to me that there is an undertone of something that I can’t quite put my finger on. I’ve stayed off the other blogs because things have gotten too heated ~ unfortunately, my skin is not thick enough ~ hopefully, this blog will be calmer!
Bobbi, if you are referring to my comment. I am very sincere, which is why I get slammed a lot on this site. I’m told I have no since of humor, I’m too serious, deranged etc. I’m not gay, but, I’ve seen many treated poorly who are.
I truly believe in equal rights, for everyone.
Looking for a place to post – Bobbi ! ~ Dbl. checked email address. I sent out correctly. Still nothing ? – I can try again or with TT when she gets settled. Could be my ISP blocking (?) but I usually get most everything.
Just getting around to checking e-mails & posts this morning. No, I still have not received anything ~ you did say that you received mine, is that correct?
Yup – TT sent it out to both of us. I used a canine+ #s. Did you get mine ? My husband’s friends say they email stuff and I don’t get them sometimes. I’ll have to figure out how to get my Internet service on this both with incoming & outgoing. ~ Even checked my spam box – nothing !!
Bobbi – Now we can go out and walk our dogs to get the mail ! 🙂
Now that Prop 8(my favorite #) has been tossed out in CA, what happens next? MA is one of thirteen states to already have legalized gay marriage – I guess we’re ahead of a lot of other states…..It seems everyone has abandoned this blog for the “snarkiness” of the GZ blog!……….Everything is A-OK! 🙂
I think that it just effects federal benefits right? Is great news! Some one said something about military benefits, I wonder if this applies to active duty personnel as well? If you are stationed in CA, is your partner/spouse now automatically enrolled as well?
It’s my understanding that the military quietly began giving benefits even before the ruling, many or…some companies allows you to designate anyone as a spouse these days even in states with no gay marriage rights. It is up to the company to allow or disallow in those states.
Ahhh, OK, thank you! I tried to find the old RHONJ blog and could not, but just watched the first look at next weeks episode, Juicy was driving again!! WTF???
I’ve had enough of snarky for one 24 hr. period too – too sleepy to snark. LOL ! But I am so happy there is peace on this post. So glad Prop8 is out of the way but we haven’t seen the results of this ruling yet. ~ I’m hoping more states can connect w/ this law and adopt more open dialogs to bring more rulings around the same way. What a day on TT – I’m going to check my emails and send my “hubby & puppy” 🙂 onto bed then all will be quiet and OK with me. I’m still sorta downloading so watching HLN /Drew as my night cap. I’m done screaming at the TV too.
Hey Tamara, you are more then invited to my wedding here in California. I just need to find a groom first lol.
Thanx for the support folks.. I needed it. Disregard my first post about divorce court..that shit aint funny
Steve, My heart goes out to you. One thing I can promise is it may seem hopeless now but, it will get better. You can also sue to get your ring back. This is the law, she has to return the ring. Don’t let her get away with it. “Peace Be With You”~
Those who wanted to marry, and have it legally recognized, couldn’t before. Today, then can (depending on where they live). Yesterday, wasn’t so wonderful!
Isabella.. I turn 50 in aug. What sux is i live in a very rural enviroment..20 miles to 1st 24hr gas and 40 miles to wal mart. My county has maybe 12000 people and for the last two years ive alienated all the women into the friend zone.
Yeah well you are lucky, I am easy, fun and hubba hubba, into older men!!! Find me on fb. Do not fall into self pity, we all get shot down sometimes but the love, real love, is worth it!
Time to un alienate them!
Iowa has had same sex marriage for a couple years now. I have both male couples and female couples as friends. I think the importance was the recognition of BENEFITS by the supremes that makes the day a big one for them
Basic human rights.
It’s about damn time! Now, if we could just get the remaining states to follow suit! Spoon feeding society a fundamental human right is becoming tedious… I am now left pondering the inauguration of a gay President… One could not help but wonder if the White House would remain white??? Jeff Lewis’s paint line has some wonderful names; foreskin, milky discharge, pearl necklace…. etc… 😉
Love the Jeff Lewis reference! Hil.Ar.I.Ous!
My wife and I got married, well ‘civilly committed’, in Hawaii and again in our home state of IL and yet we still don’t have the rights of a married couple. IL does not allow gays and lesbians to marry and they don’t recognize our marriages from other states. We still have a LONG way to go.
Sammiejane.. How do you know we havnt had a president who had a hidden alternate lifestyle? We have had some freaky presidents..LBJ used to pull his thing out and shake it at people just to show he was boss. Everybody knows JFK had massive amounts of sex and not much of it was with his wife. Or were you just refering to an openly gay president..one who puts his true beliefs up front and in the open?
OI! Openly gay would be refreshing…. however, we are talking politicians… so I doubt it will happen anytime soon (if ever)! Blair from Newlyweds would make an exceptional First Lady! 🙂
Remember on WWHL when he talked about his new practice of using enemas?? Oh dear God! You are so funny!
You’re so right, he would make an awesome first lady! 😀
Bout damn time!
Shit, was so damn happy, I hit enter before I was done.
I’m so thrilled those who want to marry, can marry. Congrats to all the soon-to-be newly weds.
after some self medication..including lots of inhilation..leading to quiet contemplation..and relaxing meditation..i went to grandmas house dreading confrontation..but was met with long consultation..leaving the realization that the only real thing that changed for me today was knowledge. Today i know where i dont stand yesterday i didnt. Now no need to have guilty feelings if i want to meet someone new. I will just have different tomorrows than expected. 94 years old and grandma is still one of the smartest people ive ever met
Awwww, that is beautiful way to look at this! Yes, the best way to get over someone is to get UNDER someone new. This works best for women (the under part), but you get the idea. Move on quickly.
Good for you Steve. There’s someone much better waiting for you! ♥
There ya’ go Steve. You’re such “a guy !” – No bon bons and klennex for you. Although the rest of us CAN attest to you watching Lifetime movies… LOL !! 🙂 Inhale – Exhale, Inhale – Exhale ! (tee hee) Grandma’s can be so GREAT !
I don’t believe in gay marriage but this is good news. People should not be denied rights because of creed, race, sex, etc.
I was so happy when I read the headlines earlier announcing this. Happy because as TT says, Love is love! Also the military had quietly let their people know before this verdict and after DADT was abolished that they were going to start recognizing gay marriages and give those spouses rights that the straight spouses (myself included) have. Such a great positive step!
In all this hooopla, how come no one is talking about the dismantling of the civil rights act? VRA was struck down, and ppl are fighting affirmative action but not legacy admissions, and so on. Ya for gay marriage though.
Agree – it’s HUGE ! – I was thinking the same thing – while we banter on about other peoples tragedies – the “wings” are dismantling EVERYTHING the people need to continue a free and formidble voice. There are petitions flying everywhere. Find them – Sign them ! People think the lines were long to vote before…?? Folks will need to show 3 nipples and a third eye to vote next time…
I was wondering the same. Many people are minimizing the affect this ruling will have on predominately minority states. They don’t realize that if that state carries a large number of electoral votes, it’s a HUGE deal. Politicians in that state will be in control of more than just requesting state IDs. They can also decide to reduce the number of voting places down to a level causes voters to stand in long lines; make changes to provision voting, etc. There were many problems prior to the ruling. I don’t want to imagine what will happen now.
Unfortunately, Congress is the only body who can legally make a difference in how this can be changed for the better. That ‘s a frightening thought.
I can’t believe anyone actually thinks that having to show ID that proves you are a citizen of the US and live in the precinct you are voting in, is somehow a bad idea.
I think that is a great idea and should have been required all along.
Steve, sorry to hear about your relationship problems. Women are problematic. 🙂 Hang tough.
The problem isn’t that, it’s more of a gateway. Since BO took office, there has been a concentrated effort to weaken any & ever org or act that contributed to him getting in office: affirmative action (white women are the largest beneficiaries of this program, but they didn’t touch legacy admissions), planned parenthood, acorn, pell grants, etc.
Katelin – Re: Voting Act. You don’t need an ID for a Civil Right. If you’re a US citizen and are a “registered” << voter that is your ID. – It's just a way for "wings" to poll tax who can vote, who can make it to the polls or be pushed off to provisional ballots and not be counted. There was a time not so far behind us, ridiculous tactics were alive & well and those tactics are now returning on steriods. Voter fraud is minuscule by mass %'s and factual info is available. My state just finished their findings and the headlines "shocked" the party who was screaming for the numbers. Whoops !
Majority gerrymandering is alive & well rearing it’s ugly head. It actually allows for the minority of counted (votes) to win the disitricts. We lost 2 Rep’s & Congressman last election. It’s an incredibly complicated process to explain on all levels from local, state & national elections. I was once elected for 2 yr. term to my OWN party & even that was rough. Still have my Official card which only got me roped into volunteering for even more hours at spaghetti dinners. Ha !
Stole this from a friend of a friend – All the straight people that said they’d only get married once gay marriage was legal now need to think of a new excuse.
Ok, can someone tell me the difference between civil union and marriage? Civil unions aren’t legally the same, as in tax and inheritance wise?
I think that’s correct Tango. – Without marrying before a legally licensed representative – Any ceremony would just be symbolic and/or spiritual. I have known couples who have combined incomes, property and family enduring way more sucessful years together – than quite alot of straight couples I’ve known.
I’ve always wanted gay marriage. They should be as miserable as the rest of us.
HA HA.
Yes I saw that. Thank you. If you don’t mind, I was asking Steve a question.
Sorry. I posted this in the wrong spot.