This is quite disturbing already. I don’t understand what these people are wearing. Amanda, her mother, someone in a jumpsuit from Soul Train it’s indescribable actually. Jelly walks in to talk to Amanda and apologize for her South Shore friend getting drunk and being obnoxious at the pool party. Amanda it is an obnoxious bitch who barely accepts her apology. Speaking of gay guys, Chanel is at Ashlee’s house talking to her parents. Chanel and Ashlee are going out on the prowl tonight. Ashlee sends her dad to get a brush. He seems to step and fetch for her like he is quite accustomed to it.
The musical editing for this show is obnoxious. Chanel and Ashlee are literally begging for men on the dance floor. Which should be easy fishing because the dance floor is full of men. In fact they are the only two females in the club. BECAUSE IT IS GAY NIGHT. How do you not realize this? Do Long Island girls not have gaydar? Chanel has a friend named Casey who seems normal. She should stick with her and move to the city. It’s weird that all the girls do their talking heads from a bench at the end of their beds where no magic happens. Casey and Erica are eskimo sisters. In fact Erica stole Casey’s first love. Casey is gorgeous. I can’t remember which one Erica is.
Amanda and Jeff are on a double date with one of the princesses and her dude. One of the specials is grilled octopus and right in front of the waiter, Amanda regales the table with a charming story she read somewhere about a woman “from China or somewhere” who ate octopus and kept hatching baby octopussies, octopi octopuses in her mouth. The waiter promptly excused himself. It could have been worse, this one lady went to ER because…oh nevermind. I think this is Erika and Rob. This is not normal. Lots of making out. Jeff continues to show us how not gay he is by trying to kiss Amanda more than what’s his name kisses whatsherface.
Chanel is having a girls weekend at the Hamptons. For you know, all the girls. Naturally, Jeff is going. Chanel and Casey are talking about how Erica broke Casey’s heart by stealing her boyfriend in high school. Then Chanel invites Casey.What could possibly go wrong?
Jelly says that Erica is like a silver spoon and she is like that white plastic fork. She seems to think that Erica is the hottest girl ever. I am missing this beauty. Jelly says that Erica also slept with her boyfriend. She actually was Jelly’s boyfriend’s first time. Erica has A LOT of Eskimo sisters and possibly STDs. Apparently, we are going to talk about all the people Erica slept with in high school one by one, and then we will end with a huge catfight at the Hamptons. I am not sure I am going to stick with this show much longer.
Ashlee’s father walks her all the way into the party bus. Ashlee is nervous being away from her dad for the weekend. I find pretty much everything in this episode kinda weird. Erica immediately takes to the stripper pole. Shockingly, she’s not very good on the pole. So she sits down and talks about how often she masturbates and how. Meanwhile, Jeff drives Amanda to the Hamptons because he doesn’t want to miss girl’s weekend is very, very, straight and can’t stand to be away from her.
At the house, Erica is thrilled to walk in first and as if they are on Big Brother and she gets first dibs on the bedrooms. So while standing at the foot of the stairs she asks no one in particular, “Where is the upstairs?” meanwhile another one is trying to figure out how to turn the dial on the thermostat to make the air come on. I imagine she will have to Google up some instructions. Ashlee notices an invisible stain on her sheet and immediately calls her parents for help. They suggest that she ask someone to get it out for her. Ashlee excitedly whines there is not a butler at the house. However will she go on? Perhaps her dad will come with clean sheets.
Chanel hired a private chef to do Shabbat because she is orthodox and not supposed to labor on Shabbat. I wonder if this chef is kosher? Casey comes in with a bottle of Skinnygirl margaritas. Kidding not. Chanel is the only one who knows how to do Shabbat. Everyone is talking about how spiritual they feel. Except Erica. She is talking about how she has 900 ex boyfriends. Erica will not shut up. She is talking about quieting her mind, incessantly. I want to slap her and I am probably the only chick in the continental 48 that is not her eskimo sister. Finally, Casey asks Erica to shut up, because they are trying to eat. Erica is flipping out. She grabs her purse and goes outside to cry and call her boyfriend and smoke a cigarette. Meanwhile at dinner Casey is having a meltdown and crying as well. Jelly goes out to try to calm Erica down. Erica says nobody talks to her like that, she does not care is she has fucked their boyfriends five times. And…to be continued…right when it was getting good.
Great recap! I was dying when Ashlee was crying about the sheets! On a side note there’s NO WAY she’s 30! Also, I thought Erica had crazy eyes at the end of the episode. What a mess
Exactly, she looks way older. I wonder what her heeled slippers look like? I bet her Dad brings them to her at bedtime. Lawdy, lawdy.
Anyone else see her Dad smile when she said she likes men up to 48 yrs old, but they can’t be fat and balding? Poor Dad let go of the control in that family the day she was born. I wish I had a Jewish Dad just to love me as much as he does her, even though I would never have my Dad fetch my hairbrush. Lol
Ashlee brought her own sheets, so it wasn’t necessary to have such a conniption about the stain.
TT please keep blogging about this stupid show. It is a silly stupid show but your recap was so spot on and actually was more entertaining than what Bravo scripted. I hope most of this crap is fake because I shudder to think of these Princesses reproducing themselves. 🙄
LOL, your blog, it was priceless! Team Jelly!
I just do not understand why these girls have such a hard time finding a husband, I have found one 5 times, it is not that hard, lol!
As usual, enjoyed your review. I thought it was funny how Erica was sitting there being disrespectful but got mad when Casey called her out. That type of behavior is so irritating, and hard to deal with. I didn’t think 30 year olds would act like that though.
Erica, like many women, surrounds herself with weak-minded people who tolerate her gross selfishness and disrespect. She comes across as a rich bad girl Who no one wants to challenge. Also like many, she’s just a paper doll. All someone has to do is blow at her and she falls down (or freaks out) as she did on the show. But, when she got outside and away from the threat, the bad girl raised her head again.
I’ll continue watching this show just to see who else will stand up to her and call her out on her sh….t.
Great overview TT.
As far as Erica’s mythic beauty, it’s always referred to in the past tense (specifically when she was in high school ) I’ve been wondering how someone so pretty in high school would look THAT bad in only ten years. After seeing her stumble around drunk in the previews i figure she’s a hardcore alcoholic.
That pygmie ashley is disgusting both inside and out. She looks like carrie fisher had a baby with a chimpanzee. Her hands literally look like stubby little monkey paws. (And what’s with her dad and the denim cut offs)
If Erica was considered the most beautiful girl on LI, the standard of beauty there has a pretty low bar. Casey and Joey are both much prettier. I think she was just the most willing to fuck.
A few notes on this episode…
I swore after last week, that I was a one and done with this show, but much like seeing a train wreck, here I sit.
*I think that Bravo got it wrong…Erica was/is not the hottest girl on LI, she was/is the whoriest. I am not sure if that is a word, but for the purposes of this post, I will adopt is as one. Thinking that after seeing Daddy “Tut-Tut” her last week for drinking too much wine, that maybe Daddy knows that a little drinking problem exists.
*If Ashlee is thirty, then Kim Z is 25. Her parents are odd looking and odd acting.
*If Chanel is as orthodox as she claims, then she would not dress like that…even modern orthodox (which I am assuming she would fall under) does not dress like that.
* Casey, honey, you might be the closest to normal on this show(subject to change)…But it was HIGH SCHOOL and you are a 29 year old WOMAN. Time to put it into a bubble and let it go!!
*Joey seems like she might be a bit of a pot stirrer.
*Amanda…Um, yeah…he is gay….like break out the jazz hands gay.
Interesting that Bravo shows all of these beautiful homes in between scenes, but the homes of the girls (with the slight exception of Erica’s) are pretty ordinary. Even the borrowed Hamptons home was nothing like what the RHNY hang out in. The homes all look like where the 80s went to die. After seeing the hissy fit that Ashlee threw going to see Joey, I was expecting a huge, posh home for Ashlee’s family, not vertical blinds hanging as a backdrop.
A note for all of the cast…no matter how religious (Orthodox or Reform) you are or are not…you do NOT put the girls on display at Shabbos dinner!!!!!!
To all of Tamara’s readers…Please do not think that we are all like this. We are NOT!!! I am embarrassed by these women. If one of my sons brings home anything close to these nitwits, they will be shown the door soooo fast that their little heads will spin!!
Yeah I noticed that homes have the 80’s look to them too.
One of them in particular looks like Miami Vice meets retirement home hybrid.
I’m from long island and these girls represent snotty jewish girls from the north shore. Not everyone of course from long island acts like that cause I’m 29 live bymyself. Most rich kids on li they parents got their kids their own place I’m just saying
So I’m finally catching up on this week’s episode. That whole double date thing was weird to say the least. When the waiter mentioned Octopus on the menu and Amanda started talking about that disgusting story I immediately knew of that story. DISGUSTING!
From when Jelly went to Erika’s house and mentioned how beautiful and popular Erika was in high school. My interpretation from past to present day, is that Erika is the most AVAILABLE girl on the east coast. When you hear a girl say out loud that she learnt to masturbate from the shower head….never mind!
I really like Chanel’s friend Casey, but please put that crap in the past. I can’t believe this is still an issue; yet the guy who was involved goes on with his life. Is this what women deal with in heterosexual relationships? I’m curious…lol
That’s all I got from this week.
Erica is a washed up once popular girl. She is clearly having problems with alcohol and possibly drugs of some kind (watch her mouth…it has that coked-out twitch which is obvious when you know the look from watching locals known to be high at the bar)…also, did they or she say she gave her boyfriend Adderall after they were already drunk from the night out? Ummmm yeah, they have drug problems! She’s a bloated looking former beauty who is prematurely aging because of her lifestyle.
Ashlee looks way older than 30. Casey and Joey are the prettiest and least obnoxious. Chanel seems very nice but also seems to try too hard to be as bratty as Ashley & Erica.
Jeff is in denial if he thinks anyone believes he’s straight. He is creepy as hell. Amanda looks like an uglier Lady Gaga…bulgy frog eyes and very unfortunate nose.
This show is annoying to watch and I sit there with a perpetual “WTF constipated look on my face” with the ridiculous of it all but because I enjoy train wrecks, I will continue to watch! lol.
Also – Ashlee is familiar with nail salons and I have not seen one yet that gives away paper flip flops WITH heels. Everyone knows to bring their own flip flops. She also made a fool out of herself when she was harrassing the Clark Kent guy, she looked desperate and even worse when she called her father. People don’t want to date people who are still attached that much to their parents. The parents will always be in her business because she will tell them every little thing. She just might be the most annoying one on the show.