Tamara Tattles

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You are here: Home / News / Newlyweds: The First Year Recap

Newlyweds: The First Year Recap

June 4, 2013 by tamaratattles 41 Comments

newlywedsIt is only four months in to the marriage and Blair is already not getting enough sex. Jeff has a much lower libido than Blair. This could be due to the 16 year age difference. Jeff feels obligated to have sex. Ut oh. No bueno.

Kathryn and John, the Greek couple, are pregnant already. John is unsure of how to handle this because, “He has never fooled around with a fat person before.” Oh, John, you are just not a very likeable person. They got their wedding video and pictures and John points out how fat she has gotten in three short months. Meanwhile, John is packing on the pounds himself.

newtinatarzMeanwhile, Tina and Tarz are desperately trying to get pregnant. Tina is obsessive about it. These two about to walk a red carpet together for the first time. Tina is apparently very popular in Indian media and her Indian fans are pissed that she married a white guy. Tina’s dad hates Tarz. Tarz keeps trying to make headway. Tarz invites him to lunch and he reluctantly agrees. Then the dad tells the wardrobe people that he wants his to be 180 degrees from whatever Tarz wears because, “He doesn’t want anything to do with this guy.” Apparently, Tina is a singer. The red carpet event goes well.

Its fashion week and Kim is styling shows. Alaska is off doing his music producing or whatever he does on the west coast. The weird thing about Kim’s show is they do not show the designer name on the backdrop. Which makes me question …well everything. What designer would not want their name shown on TV with their fashions?

Kathryn and John are off to find out the sex of their baby. They are in separate cars or as Kathryn says, “John is following in the car in front of me.” Kathryn wants a boy, he wants a girl. John says if it is a boy he will have to compete for it for Kathryn’s attention, but if it is a girl, she will have to compete with the baby for his attention. Um, yeah. This guy is a real piece of work. It’s a boy.

newtinadadTarz bravely goes to lunch with Tina’s father. He is late which is a bad start. Dad is already seriously pissed. The dad wanted Indian food. Tarz chose Italian. Tina’s dad has a scary mean face. The dad seems to be upset mostly because his wife died and he feels that Tarz has taken Tina away from him while he is grieving. He’s clearly still in the anger stage of the grieving process.

Blair is being a drama queen. Jeff went out for three hours with friends and blew up his phone the whole time. Jeff feels smothered. Blair is clingy. Blair has a temper tantrum. Jeff is frustrated.

newlywedsalaskakimKim and Alaska are all lovey dovey on the couple cam. Sex is not an issue for them. They go out to a party in a club where some dude they know rides onto the dance floor on a white horse. I am getting old because instead of thinking “Oh cool!” I am thinking about the safety aspects and horse poop on the dance floor being pretty gross. This is by far the most positive clip I have seen of these two all season. So, perhaps there is hope for them after all. Perhaps I spoke too soon. When it is time for Alaska to leave, they start to fight again.

Tina has Tarz’s mom over for tea. Tina loves her MIL. She tells her MIL that Tarz didn’t get it up on a crucial baby making day. She wants to know what sort of encouragement her husband needs to get in the mood. MIL is clearly embarrassed and simply replies, not much. Then Tina asks her MIL if maybe Tarz is gay. Oh my. Later Tina really tries to pull off the sexy, and Tarz is not really into it. Poor Tina. A girl should not have to work that hard to get laid.

Jeff is an anal retentive cleaner. Jeff has not made a will leaving the house to Blair because he wants Blair to prove himself. I know all couples have issues but I hate to see the perfect gay couple have so many issues.

Kathryn and John are having a budget meeting. She gets $380 a week to spend on everything, including food. She gets no salary from working at her salon. John says the baby is another $920 a month. Kathryn wants to sell the pool table for a play room. Blair and Jeff have a budget meeting as well. Jeff wants Blair to pay more than he does. Blair proves that he pays more than Jeff and his name is not even on the house. Jeff somehow feels manipulated.

I really like this show.

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About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. sandybo says

    June 4, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    I can’t believe I slept after the first ten minutes of this show! And I forgot to turn on the recording thingy! But you as usual gave a great accounting of all the couples. I think I dislike the Greek couple especially him the most. He is an ass but she needs to grow a set and not put up with his crap. The two of them irritate me. I felt myself getting irritated during your narrative of them in separate cars and what he gives her a week to spend. And has he looked in the mirror lately? I think the men are all pretty nice looking in this show except for him and I wouldn’t even care if he was half way likeable! Wonderful blog once again TT!!

    Reply
  2. sasha says

    June 4, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    I really don’t see any of these couples making it far beyond the first year.

    In my gut, I feel that Alaska has something secretive going on in L.A.. Kim doesn’t have a chance with him, I believe he’s reversed the roles on her. Everything is always all about him. How about putting his wife on a pedestal every now and then. He rarely gives in when they fight. He’s actually said that he is a fighter and he doesn’t stop until he wins. Is that self-centered or what. Kim should make a surprise visit to L.A.

    Did Jeff do a bait and switch on Blair. Why did the sex drive suddenly shut down? Jeff needs lots of therapy to help with his family and mommy issues. His life may change and he may be a happier person once all that is resolved. I believe he’s really a good person. He’s just hurting.

    Tarzu may be camera shy. I think he is an o.k. guy. What man, unless he’s a porn star can get it up on que. Especially knowing the result or the lack thereof will be caught or discussed on camera. Tarzu needs to put dad in check and soon. Tina will get over it, depending on his approach I believe Tarzu purposely arrived late and chose the Italian restaurant just to irritate the dad. Tarzu doesn’t allow dad to pull his strings.. and I commend him for that.

    Kathy had better reel John in, and quickly. He is not good looking and his body needs work. He’s basically pimping her. They too need counseling. I don’t understand why she agreed to any of his stuff. I’m sure she good stand on her own before they married. John is the type to have his wife at home, and barefoot and pregnant. Then he’ll have an affair with a single woman at work because he likes independent women. We see it all the time.

    Reply
    • Not A Kim Z Fan says

      June 4, 2013 at 4:50 pm

      You nailed it with this —> “John is the type to have his wife at home, and barefoot and pregnant. Then he’ll have an affair with a single woman at work because he likes independent women. We see it all the time.”

      I loathe John too and I think Kathy is an idiot for agreeing to it. I think it is one thing for them both to be on a budget and they very well may be. But we only see them talking about her allowance. And regardless if both of them are on a budget, I absolutely loath the use of the word “allowance”. It really takes away her agency as am adult woman. It’s like she’s a child. I would say if it works for them, I won’t stand in judgement. Clearly from her last comment, she is definitely rethinking this arrangement. There is nothing wrong with a spouse being a stay at home husband/wife. But if the partner working outside the home treats the money as if it is theirs and not yours, then Houston you have a problem…

      Reply
      • BravoCueen says

        June 6, 2013 at 4:05 pm

        ESPECIALLY since she’s working. It’s not an allowance.

        Reply
    • Katrina says

      June 4, 2013 at 5:17 pm

      Kathy asked John in the beginning to help her contain her spending. John clearly likes being in control. Don’t get mad at him because this is what she asked for. If she has a spending problem, she needs to learn how to control herself. Be care of what you ask for, you might just get it!
      Tina is Kenya incarnate. Tina actually got married.
      As soon as Jeff and Blair were married, Blair became a insecure whinny brat!
      What is the deal with any couple that gets married and having problems, the man being labeled as gay? If anything, he would be bisexual.
      Tina’s father is angy about looing his wife and daughter. He is also upset that his daughter did not marry within her own race. Interracial marriage. I’m sure if his wife was still living, she would help him through it.

      Reply
      • sasha says

        June 5, 2013 at 11:18 am

        Katrina, many gay men marry women and are not bi-sexual in the true sense of the word. Though they have sex with their wives and with men, they are simply not ready to “come out.” Generally, once out, they don’t go back to women. Many stay in confusing relationships like that because they don’t feel they can handle the possibility of losing their families, jobs, etc. (Like Jeff).

        My definition of gay is preferring same gender sex. Bi-sexual is preferring both, sex with men and or women. I’m sure you’ve heard of someone in your family or circle who was married or in a relationship with one gender, then crossed over to the other surprise of everyone. If they didn’t go back to the original gender, they are gay. They were always gay, but, you just didn’t know it.

        I’m no expert, but, I’ve been around enough people in those situations. It’s a sad situation when a person cannot just be who they are. I feel really sad for Jeff because his family is still living in the dark ages.

        Reply
        • sasha says

          June 5, 2013 at 11:19 am

          *they CAN’T handle the possibility of being ostracized by their families and friends.

          Reply
  3. chriscleo says

    June 4, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    oh boy. i’ve no hope any of these couples will last. and i think tarz is gay, too. not good at all. if a guy is not attracted to you this early you should run.

    Reply
    • Karma Grant says

      June 4, 2013 at 10:28 pm

      I don’t think he’s gay. They both said when they first got together there was sex, lots of sex. They’ve just been together for awhile and add to that the stress of having to do it NOW to make a baby. Couples that I know that have had to DO IT NOW have all struggled after awhile.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        June 4, 2013 at 10:34 pm

        Exactly, he made sure to point out on camera several times that they have lots and lots of sex.

        Reply
        • Anastasia Beaverhausen says

          June 5, 2013 at 9:36 am

          If Tarz really wanted to have a baby with Tina he would perform when needed. When my husband and I wanted a baby, we did it everytime were were “Supposed” to do it. Was it sexy and romatic? Absolutely not. Did he rise (lol) to the occasion, though? Yes!

          Reply
  4. otherpeoplesproblems says

    June 4, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Even though Tarz isn’t perfect it’s clear that he’s really trying with Tina’s father because he really loves her, and that’s endearing to me. He wants Tina’s father’s acceptance and he still takes all his jabs like a gentleman. My ex’s mom would take jabs at me constantly and she thought I was ghetto and it took everything in me not to really get ghetto on her ass. I think Tarz has a lot of patience. I like Tarz.

    When John said he would be jealous of his own son, I was torn between being disgusted and hilariously amused! They are both truly gross. I echo your sentiments on the last Newlyweds post about how she clearly settled because she thought it was getting late for her. And now I think she may regret it. His comments about her pregnancy weight were out of line, but at the same time who the hell gains so much weight in THREE months!? I just dislike both of em.

    I agree with all the other posters who think Alaska is gaygaygay.

    Annnnnd Blair’s a naggy little bitch.

    Reply
    • Not A Kim Z Fan says

      June 4, 2013 at 5:09 pm

      Kudos to Tarz but there is absolutely no way in the world or in heaven that I would ever let anyone -including my spouse’s parent- treat me that way. It is beyond disrespectful. I believe elders absolutely deserve your respect without earning it. Howinsoever, you have to give respect to get it. I feel for the man and the loss of his wife. I cannot even imagine how hard that must be BUT I wouldn’t tolerate the disrespect. I wouldn’t necessarily go off on the man BUT I would “dead him”. By that I mean, I’d say hi, bye, can you pass the salt but otherwise I would have no interaction with him at all. Tina loves Tarz and I don’t think she’d fault him for just avoiding her dad until he was able to be more reasonable. My ex-husband’s mom was like that. I checked her once, then ignored her for the first year and after that we were fine. Thankfully, my marriage was never impacted by her particular brand of crazy.

      Reply
      • Ms Urethra Franklin says

        June 4, 2013 at 7:02 pm

        Tina’s father is 100%racist. PERIOD.
        He wants an Indian man for his daughter PERIOD.
        Racism is in every culture with different targets.
        Tarz seems like a hard working, smart, respectful, patient man. Good Luck to him.

        Reply
        • Karma Grant says

          June 4, 2013 at 10:27 pm

          I have to agree. As much as Tarz tries to say that it’s not because he’s white, it’s because nobody is good enough for his daughter, the man is racist. Tina’s dad himself has said it’s because he’s not an Indian. He also seems to think Tarz isn’t working at all. He said Tarz wasn’t getting a paycheck and didn’t believe Tarz when he said his latest deal/project was worth six figures.

          Though if Tarz wanted to try the way he says, then he wouldn’t have been late to dinner AND he’d have planned it at an Indian restaurant like he agreed to.

          Reply
        • sasha says

          June 5, 2013 at 10:55 am

          And, he makes no effort to hide it. I wonder if his daughter has talked to him about her sex life with Tarz.

          Reply
  5. Not A Kim Z Fan says

    June 4, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    Blair irritated me from day one. I cannot stand armpit cats. You called him 3 times when he was out to dinner? Seriously dude, get a life. I establish very early in my relationships that I require a lot of space. When we’re together, we’re together and I’m all in. But I need regular breaks -not just for special occasions. And absolutely DO NOT call me when I’m hanging with my folk. I’ll call or text you when I’m on my way home…

    Alaska (hate that name) and Kim are interesting. I think he will lose his submissive wife if he continues being an ass. He is the exact reason why so many women go postal when they hear folks talking about wives being submissive. His behavior -which does not exemplify good head of household behavior in the least- is why women are opposed to it. Otherwise, I’ve been a relationship where my partner only came home every two weeks. It’s tough. We didn’t fight like them when it was time for him to leave but there were a lot of tears the first couple times he left.

    I don’t think Alaska’s gay, I just think they are both weird. You know artsy weird. And on top of that Alaska’s a douche…

    Reply
  6. Popcorn and Vodka (@popcornandvodka) says

    June 4, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    I’m starting to lose interest in this show, and am having doubts about the authenticity (LOL). All the bedroom scenes seem to be scripted/acted… Why is everyone going to bed/getting up when it’s lit like it’s afternoon? And we’re to believe they have multiple camera people in the bedroom waiting for them to wake up? (No wonder Tarzu can’t/won’t perform). But whether they’re “re-enacting” or not, I’m just tiring of all the drama so early in the year. It would be nice if there was a couple to root for, but there’s at least one unlikeable member of each one.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 4, 2013 at 7:33 pm

      We are going to root for the gay dudes dammit. Let’s just hope that Blair gets his shizz together quickly and that this episode was just growing pains of him reaching adulthood. PUHLEASE. Otherwise, it’s just hopeless.

      On Tue, Jun 4, 2013 at 7:05 PM, Tamara Tattles

      Reply
      • sasha says

        June 5, 2013 at 12:22 am

        If I had to choose a couple to succeed, Blair and Jeff would be the one. It seems their problems can be fixed in a relatively short period of time (with therapy.) Money, sex, self-worth.

        Reply
        • Popcorn and Vodka (@popcornandvodka) says

          June 5, 2013 at 11:15 am

          Yes, Blair needs to grow up (a lot), they need couple’s counseling to learn how to communicate and discuss like there are two adults involved, and Jeff needs his own therapist as well.
          Maybe all the couples should just come read this site since we obviously have all the answers to their personal lives, LOL.

          Reply
  7. James says

    June 4, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    Blair is a nasty mean spirited spiteful manipulative spoiled little boy. I felt so bad for jeff when Blair announced no less than 3 different times how hot and young he was and jeff should feel lucky to have his hateful ass.

    John lougadis is a fat ugly gnome of a man. I hope she realises he installed those cameras to keep tabs on HER

    Tarzan and Alaska are jerks

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 4, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      What did Tarz do?

      On Tue, Jun 4, 2013 at 9:52 PM, Tamara Tattles

      Reply
      • James says

        June 5, 2013 at 2:15 pm

        It would be one thing if she was just begging and hounding him for sex for no reason …that’s not attractive. But like the dr told her, her eggs are on life support and he’s totally dismissive of her. I can imagine how bad and undesirable and insecure that would make a newlywed feel.

        (Unlike that nag bllair who needs to have a seat and use his five finger discount if you get my inference )

        Reply
        • Katrina says

          June 5, 2013 at 2:47 pm

          It’s been four months. It would be different if they had been trying for years. Tina probably was on some form of birthcontrol and it will take her some time to get pregnant. She is making the situation worse by obsessing about it.

          Reply
    • sasha says

      June 4, 2013 at 10:43 pm

      James, I never thought of John spying on Kathy. You’re probably right, since she is still working. I thought the purpose was to monitor the other employees in while Kathy was on maturity leave.

      I can’t believe he’s charging the staff a $1 for each bottle of water the drink. I hope I’m wrong on that.

      I can see John becoming a mean, pudgy little pot-gut, miserable man. When everything comes to a head, and it will, he’ll wind up alone to count his cash.

      Reply
      • Karma Grant says

        June 5, 2013 at 9:04 am

        Becoming?! I think he already is!

        Reply
        • sasha says

          June 5, 2013 at 10:53 am

          10-4

          Reply
    • sasha says

      June 4, 2013 at 10:46 pm

      Ditto TT. Tarz is the only good guy in the pack of newlyweds. His only downfall, is taking unnecessary bull from his wife and FIL.

      Reply
  8. Karma Grant says

    June 4, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    Blair and Jeff previously discussed finances and Blair agreed to pay more but told Jeff that he knew he’d come back later asking for more. I understand Blair’s hesitation, why is he paying even more now that they are married for a house that he has no ownership of?

    Did you notice that when Kim went to call Alaska, it said Alaska G on the screen? Who labels their husband’s contact info in their phone with his last initial and how many Alaskas does she know?! Also, it was mentioned last episode that Kim doesn’t know where he stays while in LA, did you notice that production also doesn’t film where he stays in LA?

    I find John and Kath annoying but at least he was honest. She is getting fat, fatter than she can blame on being 3 mos pregnant. Most men think the thoughts that he was having, they simply don’t have the guts to say it out loud.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 4, 2013 at 10:14 pm

      Because they want to LIVE. That’s why. 🙂 Also that was the most fascinating set of observations ever. I missed all that stuff. I blame it on the fact I am mostly typing and listening rather than actually WATCHING the shows I blog. Because, I have killed ALL my memory brain cells and perimenopause looms for any that may have survived. 🙂

      Reply
      • Karma Grant says

        June 5, 2013 at 9:07 am

        I appreciate your recaps but truly hope there are shows that you simply watch just to watch for you so you don’t miss the small details. This show should be one of them! 🙂

        Reply
    • sasha says

      June 4, 2013 at 10:35 pm

      Karma don’t you find something wrong with that. Generally people in bi-coastal marriages and relationships rotate back and forward. Again, what’s Alaska hiding. And more so, why is this o.k. with Kim. She always looks a little panicky to me. Almost like she’s afraid he’s going to dump her.

      Reply
      • Karma Grant says

        June 5, 2013 at 9:03 am

        I find it very odd especially because you know his job was the exact same before they got married. Meaning, she has obviously never known anything about his LA trips. You’d expect someone who travels to a specific place (LA) on a regular basis to have a “regular” place to stay whether it’s at a hotel, an apartment or a “friend’s”. Business people I’ve known have those and just in random/regular conversation they typically tell you where it is they like to stay.

        Reply
        • sasha says

          June 5, 2013 at 10:52 am

          Oh. That’s right, they dated for a long time before getting married. I wonder what made her settle and accept all his crap. She has issues too, like being extremely clingy. I still say he has toys in the closet that we don’t know about. I can see him keeping her out of the bathroom while doing his private business. But, to refuse showering with his wife.. wow. And, he goes nuts over the smallest things.

          Nope, they won’t make it.

          Reply
      • Katrina says

        June 5, 2013 at 11:26 am

        I did not think they wete bi-coastal at first. I think something happened to his original job and Alaska found other employment in LA. I see on other postings that he appears on Love and Hip Hop.

        Reply
        • sasha says

          June 5, 2013 at 11:29 am

          Probably his negative attitude! Yuk, I don’t like him.

          Reply
    • James says

      June 5, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      What would be the point of filming him in LA unless kim was actually there with him?

      Reply
      • Karma Grant says

        June 5, 2013 at 5:37 pm

        They filmed him in the studio in LA. They film Kim alone in NY, they could film him at wherever he stays in LA if he wasn’t being shady.

        Reply
  9. vivaladiva831 says

    June 5, 2013 at 12:22 am

    I think the gay couple will be the first to split up. Next is the Indian girl and her bitch.

    Reply
  10. t.hh says

    June 10, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    lol the guy alaska is just on love and hip hop atl.as like a label person lol…small reality world

    Reply

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