It seems like just yesterday that Farah Abraham was going out shopping her sex tape with her dad and her kid in tow for moral support after humiliating herself on Dr. Phil swearing it was her private video. Maybe it was, because all this Teen Mom crazy is running together for me. I didn’t really cover Teen Mom until the Dr. Phil debacle. Previously, I’d just checking in from time to time at Reality Tea for their awesome and timely updates. But frankly, I think someone is going to die sooner than later so I may as well add the category because when reality people do stupid things that cause their death, it’s sort of website gold.
It sounds like Jenelle and her husband Courtland Rogers paused their plans to adopt a child to feed their heroin addictions (wait, didn’t Janelle just tell us she was clean and didn’t have any addiction problems?) and get into a knock down drag out fight in which they both tried to kill each other. The cops arrived before either could complete their attacks and so now we are paying for 3 hots and a cot for the two of them. When the cops came neither one would admit that the shitload of heroin was theirs so they both went to jail. It sounds like enough that they will have distribution charges. Excellent, now sentence them to some serious time North Carolina. It’s time for that state to convict or get off the pot and just let them kill each other and save the state some money.
I can hardly wait until Farah figures out how to one up this spectacular fail. You know I will be covering? Couples therapy with that Teen Mom couple that I like that put their kid up for adoption, and Flavor Flav whose wife (?) damn near burnt the couples therapy house down during filming. Why haven’t any of these idiots won a Darwin Award yet?