Look Jen, I know this case sucks hind tit. I get it. Now you have an expert witness on the stand who knows her field, and frankly sweetie you don’t. In fact, you were so distracted Wednesday by your attempts to imitate Juan’s interrogation style you made some huge mistakes. Want a hint? How about a brief excerpt from a favorite poem of mine? See if you can find my clue:
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“‘Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door-
Only this, and nothing more.”
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;-vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow-sorrow for the lost Lenore-
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
Nameless here for evermore.
Lovely no? Well nameless Lenore will be no more Jen if Juan decides to add the name Lenore Walker to his rebuttal list. You see Jen, you spouted off above your station about Lenore Walker. You could have said all kinds of things in response to DeMarte bringing up Lenore on the stand. Had I been you, I would have asked DeMarte, “Is this Lenore Walker you are so fond of the same Lenore Walker who testified as an expert witness in the OJ Simpson case for the DEFENSE?” That might have woken the jury up. But no, you chose to falsely say she does not use her own methods anymore. That was stupid, Jen. I hope for your sake that you have not angered Lenore. She might just show up to testify of her own accord and that would make you look even worse. But LAWD that would be funny.
That’s enough about Lenore. You have an even bigger problem. Your client seems to fall deathly ill when things are not going well for your side. You need to get her under control. This witness is clearly triggering her crazy. Get her an extry dose of her crazy pills before carting her out there for the rest of the trial. And lose her green shirt.
Meanwhile, we will be watching, and talking about you here. I am not going to be around as much today so I hope the gang does some good recapping for the folks at work. I’ve got my own courtroom circus today. I’ll be taking my own peanuts in under my invisibility cloak. 🙂