I blame Jodi Arias for being woefully behind on Stiletto Gate 2013©. I am sure most of you are up to date and I am sort of writing this for myself, but I can’t skip over a good courtroom drama! Since John Karagiorgis (aka Johnny the Greek) pressed charges against Joe Gorga, Chris Laurita and Jacqueline Gorga last week this week that trio was in court demanding the same charges for JtG! Let’s look at what they told the judge.
According to a recent article on NorthJersey.com , “Jacqueline Laurita testified that Karagiorgis was “asked not to attend” the March 30 event in Ridgewood, ‘but showed up anyway with a bodyguard,’ who she said appeared to be armed.” Wait what? You are testifying under oath that you and a couple of other guys jumped a guy with an armed bodyguard and clobbered him with a stiletto? Oh lord. These housewives tell such ridiculous lies in court. It’s astounding really. My guess is that this person who was “asked not to attend” was fully wired for sound by production, right Jac?
The article also says that Jac testified that JtG “came dressed in clothes like he was ready for a fight.” Well there is some damning evidence. HE WAS DRESSED IN CLOTHES! Give these people their warrant judge. He.was.dressed.in.clothes. But wait, Jac has more to say. The article continues… “Moments before the altercation, Laurita said she was part of a “tsunami of people” packed into the boutique for the grand opening. That’s when she claims Karagiorgis “lunged towards me, and I heard him yelling, ‘I’ll [expletive] kill you.” She said Karagiorgis “had a crazy look in his eyes, like he was on drugs or something,” and, in lunging at her, may have “bumped” her, causing her to fall to the ground. But she acknowledged before Pfund that, amid all of the confusion, security guards who stepped in to usher Karagiorgis from the event
could very well have knocked her over. “I can’t be 100 percent sure he caused me to fall.”
OBJECTION! FAIRYTALE! Are we sure that this is an actual account of what was said in the courtroom? I’m not talking about the logistical problems, I’ll get to that in a minute. I do not believe for a minute Jac knows the word ‘tsunami’. Salami? Yes. But not tsunami. So to me now this whole article is suspect. So, logistically, it is very crowded but in the midst of a packed room of people JtG lunges at her and yells, “I’ll fucking kill you!” with a crazy look in his eyes like he was on drugs or something. So a very large crazy man, who has someone with him with a gun, threatens your life in a very crowded room while CAMERAS ARE ROLLING and Bravo security comes to escort him out. And you fall down and then jump up and hit him in the head with a stiletto?
Jac goes on saying JtG returned, “looking for more.” Looking for more WHAT? You just said he was thrown out with no mention of him doing anything but lunging at you with crazy eyes and maybe, possibly, you are not sure bumping into you. What was he back for, the grind part? There ain’t nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, Jac. “He went right at me, and had this look on his face that was dazed and crazed,” Laurita alleged, adding she believes Karagiorgis was intent on harming her. So this guy who is way bigger than you has now “gone at you” twice in the presence of your husband and a room full of your Guido friends and no one is doing anything, right? And so far JtG the drug addled goon has not managed to lay a finger on you? So you were assaulted how? The “maybe bump?” and let me guess, now you are in fear for your life. AMIRITE? Oh! Of course You are! She also whined TO THE JUDGE IN A COURT OF LAW that she does not like what JtG tweets about her. Cry me a Passaic.
Here is what the manly men said according to the NorthJersey.com article, “Laurita’s husband, Chris, and Gorga, also testified, both claiming that Karagiorgis had lunged at them and threatened their lives. They told Pfund they were forced to defend themselves and their wives during the fracas, and both claim Karagiorgis has been using Twitter to harass and slander them. “He’s obsessed with us, and he’s stalked us for years,” Gorga said. “I get phone calls at night. It’s to the point where my wife has gotten depressed over it. This guy needs to be prosecuted. This is cyber bullying.”
Again, a lunge and a threat. At least they admit that the lunge is their justification for giving JtG the beatdown. You know the beatdown that occurred where JAC TOOK A STILETTO TO THE GUY’S FACE. Did I mention that part?
Then, the author of the article, Chris Harris ends the story with one of the best, funniest sentences ever constructed. Are you ready? Here it is.
“Christopher Laurita, dressed in a pinstripe jacket and jeans, told the judge he feels Karagiorgis is hungry for publicity.” ~Chris Harris
Last week, Karagiorgis’ claimed he was held back by security which allowed those rascally New Jersey house husbands to give him a broken nose and other injuries. Johnny the Greek further claims Jacqueline smacked him in the head with a stiletto heel, (In case I left that part out somehow) and that her husband threatened his life. So now, Karagiorgis, Manzo, Laurita, and Joe Gorga, all have charges of assault and terroristic threats. So, um, it’s win-win right? I think the next court date is April 18th or maybe that is just my next batch. I don’t remember. 🙂
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