The big question in the courtroom at the Jodi Arias trial today is, “Will Alyce finally make it to Juanderland?” So pressing is this question that I commissioned the fabulous @Kay_Rock (go follow her now! Unless you share Alyce’s over active bladder issues, because you will pee yourself laughing) to make the graphic above for this glorious occasion. I am warning you now, I will be using it until the defense finally allows Alyce to drop into the rabbithole. Which means we will probably be looking at it until sometime in early 2015. Also I would like to point out that I saw the “Juanderland” thing on the #jodiarias twitter line yesterday. It’s much to clever to be my original thought. I regret I didn’t note the person who said it. I hope they come yell at me for intellectual property theft so I can properly credit them.
Meanwhile, we learned absolutely nothing of importance yesterday. We were regaled with stories of (Cheshire?) cats and how to best torture a frog. I felt the Roswell story was woefully scarce on UFOs. Even the detailed story and numerous leading questions about the exact level of tenderness of Travis kisses failed to moisten my lady garden. Although, my favorite leading question of the day was, “So Travis’s kisses, tell me again, were they very, very, very tender? or just very tender?” It was a brilliant legal tactic of the defense to show that Travis was a good kisser. Which is apparently a key factor in the defense.
On HLN, we were treated to Jodi’s parents being interviewed by Detective Flores. They went something like this… Flores says, “Hello Mr. Arias, have a seat!” and Jodi’s dad says, ” Wow, my daughter is one strange bird no? What kind of gun was used in this killin’ because my mamma’s .25 went missing right after Jodi moved in. I keep telling my mamma that gun won’t do much and she should probably stab an intruder another 27 times or so and decapitate him for good measure if she uses that little thing…” And then there was the mother whose interview went something like this… “Hi Mrs. Arias have a seat!” and she said, “OMG I knew something like this was going to happen, I think I am going to barf. I kept getting calls from people saying Jodi was crazy as a loon and I needed to do something. When I found out Travis was dead I immediately asked Jodi if she went to Arizona and she looked me dead in the eye and said that she did not and that there was absolutely no proof that she was there because she had taken a bunch of gas in her trunk and didn’t use her credit card and turned the phone off. And she was acting totally normal so I believed her. I can’t believe she lied!”*
So it’s not like yesterday was a total loss despite Alyce having to go home early due to having a bit too much tea at the tea party. Who knows what today will bring? Will the defense continue to drag out this $300 an hour witness until they recess for the weekend? Or will Alyce finally stumble innocently into Juanderland? Keep checking our comments for the latest.
*Conversations depicted here are approximations of what was actually said mixed with a healthy dose of creative license.