Bravo Announces 17 Original Programs

Bravo announced 17 “new” original programs today. Let’s just get straight to what they are and more importantly what I think about them. 🙂

Below Deck – Summer 2013 The upstairs and downstairs worlds collide when this young and single crew, known as “yachties,” live, love and work together onboard a privately owned extravagant yacht. Working and tending to the ever-changing needs of their demanding charter guests is not always smooth sailing.

This sounds good to me. Young hot people scantily dressed around the water. Boats. I like boats. And cranky old rich people to add some drama. Drama above and sex below deck. I’m in.

City Sisters – Fall 2013 The series follows a group of single, up-and-coming movers and shakers in New York’s elite circles of real estate, fashion, and media. These ladies are aggressive in their pursuit of personal and career goals, but in this cutthroat world where egos are high and the drive to succeed is even higher, success can come at a steep cost.

So it’s Sex and the City meet RHONY. No reason to think any of these “up-and-coming movers and shakers” will be in any way a part of NYC’s “elite circles” anymore than Nene and Kim are part of Atlanta’s “elite circles.” No more housewifey crap. No more cut throat fighting. No thank you.

Courtney Loves Dallas Breakout star Courtney Kerr of Most Eligible Dallas navigates the lively Texas social scene with her group of sassy, dynamic friends.  She’s out to rope herself the perfect southern gentleman, while trying to make a name for herself in the fashion industry, but Courtney quickly finds that taking the bull by the horn isn’t as easy as it may sound.

Did we watch Most Eligible Dallas? No we did not. Do we even remember Courtney? Was she the drunk one? No thanks.

Divorce Diva (working title) When couples go from “I do” to “I don’t,” Vikki Ziegler is who they call to mediate, advise and divide their assets out of court. Why let a judge decide your fate when the Divorce Diva can cut through all the drama to determine who will get what?

The working title sucks. This idea has potential if we could manage to just let it be organic and not have the producers feeding the divorcing couple lines and spurring on the drama. But what are the chances of that happening? I give this one a maybe.

Eat, Drink, Love – Summer 2013 Single, successful, beautiful and connected to the restaurant and food industry in Los Angeles, these ladies take on the traditionally male-dominated industry in their own way as they juggle a world where business always mixes with pleasure.

This sounds like this has the potential to be too housewivey. Maybe if it is about all the sex drama in the restaurant industry. Maybe. But I am not holding my breath.

Extreme Guide to Parenting – Fall 2013 From spoiling and severe punishments to helicopter and new age methods, this is parenting at its most extreme.  Each episode gives a candid look at two different households with very unique styles of raising their children — and each family strongly believes their methods are superior.

Supernanny meets Wife Swap. Sounds dreadful.

Fashion Queens This topical, fashion-based talk show features two of Atlanta’s style elite, celebrity hairstylists Derek J and Miss Lawrence, and New York’s fashion maven and media socialite Bevy Smith.  The trendy opinionated trio will cover anything and everything related to the world of fashion and beauty, from haute couture to celebrity style to unusual outfits from around the globe, giving their unique perspective on the trends, hits and misses.

Please make this stop.

The Kandi Factory – Premieres Tuesday, April 9 Grammy Award winner and multi-platinum songwriter Kandi Burruss of The Real Housewives of Atlanta helps 16 aspiring artists jumpstart their dreams of stardom.  Burruss gives two protégés with no industry experience the opportunity of a lifetime — a shot at an original song release and music video produced by The Kandi Factory.

I have the screener on this. I will take a look and let you know. Now that we know that Kandi takes the prize back it seems there is no point to winning.

Newlyweds: The First Year  Premieres Monday, May 6 From the moment they say “I do” to their one-year anniversary, for the first time ever we see up close, the first year of marriage in “Newlyweds: The First Year.”  This groundbreaking series follows four diverse couples coast-to-coast experiencing the daily trials and tribulations of their first 365 days of marriage captured by Emmy Award-winning and Oscar-nominated documentarian Lauren Lazin.

This one is a winner. It’s an actual documentary by a noted documentarian. I am all in.

Property Envy – Summer 2013 The world’s most exclusive, expensive houses are throwing open their doors to a panel of passionate property experts in this new panel talk show that explores the world of luxury real estate, cutting-edge home technology and trendsetting décor.  Every week, our property and design-obsessed host and esteemed panelists will present the homes that give them “Property Envy.”

I like looking at houses. (Shut up!) It depends on the annoyance level of the panel. Put this one in the maybe column.

Southern Charm The notoriously closed society of Charleston, South Carolina unlocks the gates of their centuries-old plantation homes for a real-life look at how modern-day Southern aristocracy lives. Get charmed by the social scene which is bound by tradition and ostentation unlike any other culture in America, through a group of the city’s most charismatic gentlemen and their Southern belle equals.

Charleston, SC is my favorite city in the US. Please, Please don’t screw this up, Bravo. EDIT: THEY SCREWED IT UP!

Taking Atlanta (working title) – Summer 2013 Atlanta just got even hotter as this group of ambitious young go-getters on the cusp of realizing their dreams work hard, but play even harder.  They are shaking up the city’s fashion, music, hospitality and real estate scenes.

No. Just stop. I predict more black folks behaving badly and talking like fools. Please stop making my town look ridiculous.

Thicker Than Water: The Tankards – Fall 2013 This docu-series follows former professional basketball player turned popular gospel singer/recording artist and minister Ben Tankard, his blended family and their journey in expanding the family fortune.  From music-producing to NBA life coaching and motivational speaking, this business-oriented family strives to keep on top of their game, but finds their true passion lies in ministry.

Preachers with a love of money? What could possibly be wrong with this show? Please don’t let him be from Atlanta. I’ll pass.

Two Fit Girls It’s crunch time for best friends and business partners Katrina and Karena, the fearless duo behind Toneitup.com. While some entrepreneurs have a business plan, these girls use their “street smarts, not book smarts” to push themselves and their brand to wild extremes.

I see two skinny blonde airheads flouncing around in workout attire. Next!

Ladies of London (working title) Set in the glittering, class-conscious city of London, this new series follows a group of elite British socialites and American expats enjoying the upper crust of the high society world. And while these Brits and Americans all live in the same city, have been married to rock stars, dated royalty, are darlings of the paparazzi and enjoy wealth beyond belief, they are still culturally, worlds apart.

If I had more faith in Bravo, this would be a definite Yes! But based on past results, it’s a maybe. Will watch and see how it goes.

Princesses: Long Island – Premieres Sunday, June 2 Meet members of the “boomerang generation” – six young women from Great Neck, Long Island who return to their pampered lifestyles in the comfort of their parents’ estates and at the expense of their fathers’ bank accounts.  This new docu-series offers a window into their unique family dynamics and personal lives filled with labels, luxury, and love trials.

Spoiled girls with annoying accents pretending to be richer than they actually are for Bravo cameras. No thank you.

100 Days of Summer This young, successful Chicago “it” crowd are working the boardrooms and the bedrooms, eager to make a name for themselves, find love and succeed at any price.  With a social circle made up of best friends, former lovers, and current lusts, things are bound to get interesting.

A bunch of 20 somethings in Chicago pretending to have access to “the boardrooms” (of what?)  yet they haven’t made a name for themselves? Interesting is not the word I would use. Contrived maybe. Might watch first episode if nothing else is on.

Which of these shows stands out to y’all as particularly interesting or awful?