It is the finale of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and that means there is only a month left before the season ends! We begin with Kenya planning her “gala” aka costume party that will serve as the final bash of the season. Kenya wants to have some scenes from classic movies with famous black actresses acted out at the party. So she thinks really hard about appropriate suggestions. Should she go with Dorothy Dandridge and Pearl Bailey in Carmen Jones? How about Butterfly McQueen as Prissy in her favorite movie of all time, Gone With the Wind? Nope, that is not what Kenya’s brain comes up with. She wants Eddie Murphy in Coming to America. Specifically the royal wedding scene “with all of the dancers with the feathers on their heads.” I am not kidding. She also calls it her “coming out party.” If she does indeed decide to come out, that might explain lots of things. You know, sometimes people accuse others of things they themselves are guilty of.
Meanwhile Phaedra is putting her donkey booty video behind her, (her bad pun, not mine) and moving on to the production of her new pink stun gun she calls, “Phaedra Sparks.” Again. Not kidding. Kandi zaps the stun gun on one of the self-defense guys accidentally. Sort of. Phaedra wants to try hers out on Kenya. Good plan, Phaedra, good plan. I did not recap the mandatory sex talk for Phaedra and Kandi scenes.
Therapy with Kordell and Porsha is pretty sad considering that a few short months later Kordell goes to the courthouse to file divorce papers. In therapy, he promises the therapist that their arguments don’t last for more than five or ten seconds. This is typical if the guy bolts for the door and refuses to engage in difficult conversations. The therapist asks Porsha if that is true for her as well. Porsha says, she lets things go because she knows she isn’t going to win the argument. Kordell tells her that if she is trying to win she is going to lose every time. Porsha’s body language is leaning away from Kordell. Kordell explains that he wants a stay at home wife for his children.
I really don’t get the problem. Kordell LOVES being on TV. What other “career” does Porsha have? How often does she go to feed the hungry? Why couldn’t she take the kid to the homeless charity stuff? It’s not like she wants to start a line of sex toys or be a pole dancer, Kordell. And really, unless you are the one coming out at Kenya’s coming out party, you really need a beard. I think you are making a mistake here, Kordell. Where else will you find someone who can tell you are a volunteer park ranger who will believe it?
Before Kenya’s big party we see Porsha trying on a variety of BAPS costumes. She looked cute in all of them! Cynthia models a few choices for her Bailey Boys, and then it is time to get to the party! Kandi arrives as Tina Turner from What’s Love Got to do With It? But she’s not thrilled with her costume. Todd smartly refused to wear a costume. Kenya has a big formal intro before coming out as Pam Grier from Foxy Brown. Porsha arrives as Dorothy Dandridge looking great! Kordell shows up in a suit. Kenya is hot about Porsha’s disobedience. This causes Kenya to cancel some sort of BAPS program she had planned. Probably some plan to disrespect Porsha. Too bad, Kenya. Kenya decides to throw out Porsha and Kordell. Peter decides to stage a walkout so everyone leaves. Looks like Peter still had his crush on Kordell at this point. What the heck happened to their bromance? Still no sign of Phaedra or Nene.
Porsha is tickled pink that every one leaves with her. And we get our first Porshaism of the show. Porsha says that everyone can see that Kenya is the one with the “malice content.” How can y’all not want that girl to come back next season. I mean, come on. Who else is gonna give us malapropisms like that? Kordell is arguing with a man who has a stuffed animal sewn to his chest. I am not really sure what is happening anymore. Everyone is still in the parking lot. Nene has arrived as Grace Jones. Phaedra straggles in as Eartha Kitt as Cat Woman. Kandi has her stun gun in her bag. She promises to protect Porsha and give Kenya a bit of sorely needed electroshock therapy if it comes to that.
Nene tells the party planner to bring her Kenya so she can give her a little lesson in hostess etiquette. Kenya goes running to her immediately to suck up to her and tell her how great she looks. Nene goes in on Kenya. Nene talks about how she flew in and canceled things just for this party. Nene is screaming about not burning bridges. Nene sends Kenya out to apologize. Porsha accepts the apology.
Endnotes:
Kordell filed for divorce from Porsha.
Phaedra is expecting boy #2 (this time she knows the due date.)
A Pregnancy workout video is in the works…no competition is expected.
Kandi’s sextoy empire keeps buzzing louder. Kandi and Todd are officially engaged. Mamma Joyce isn’t moving in…yet.
Cynthia The Miss Renaissance Pageant 2013 is already accepting applications. Having had two weddings, Cynthia is helping NeNe plan her re-nuptials.
Nene continues to live bi-coastally and is awaiting her next big role. Gregg gave Nene a 15 carat engagement ring. And Tamaratattles is the Queen of England.
Kenya is currently dating and African Oil Tycoon. (Is that what they call hookers in Dubai now?) She maintains that her workout DVD is outselling Phaedra’s.
Not a Kenya fan. AT ALL, but she did have a program worked out and Porsha did sidetrack it. Just sayin
I agree, messy for real as they all could have just palyed along with it and I thought it was a fun idea, although Phaedra looked better than she ever has before!
If you believe that Kenya had a BAPS scene….SMH.
Yeah. I was hoping that it would make sense because of pre planned skits for each lady. But that never materialized. Except nene and the chariot. Was that a real movie thing? Was grace jones ever in a chariot? Apologies in advance for my lack of black film knowledge.
So, when did this finale film? Was this around Halloween?
Yes in the movie Boomerang, Grace Jones played a character named Strangé who was the spokesmodel of a company’s fragrance line. At her debut party, Strangé made her entrance by being transported in a giant crate that was lowered right into the middle of the crowd and then she busted out of it in a chariot being driven by a bunch of muscle guys. She was cracking her whip too. Hilarious scene! You gotta watch it!
Eartha Kitt as Madam Eloise LOL
But honestly, I think she was just trying to bust Porshas chops and embarass her.
after birth cause it stank so good lol
Yes Grace Jones was in a chariot scene when she was in the Boomerang movie. It was shot as part of her perfume promotion if you’ve ever seen the movie. Eddie Murphy, Halle Berry and Robin Givens was in it. One of my favorite movies.
They was?
Sure was
Yes, Grace Jones was in a chariot in the Eddie Murphy movie, Boomerang. It’s a stunning scene….every scene with Grace was stunning in that movie!
The perfume commercial was more shocking than stunning! LOL
I agree with TT, I would love to see Porsha return next season. Her colorful vocabulary keeps me giggling throughout the show. I must state I have always had a sense Kordell had his own agenda which included not being with her long. Once again, we got to witness the NeNe ass kissing of Kenya… but glad to see the girls (and their fellows) see her psychotic break and finally stand united against her. Pity though, I thought they should have all left and gathered together publicly to demonstrate Kenya’s actions are, well to put it in Phaedra’s words “cray, cray” and they were done. I find myself praying to some higher power every Sunday night to put an end to the madness known as Kenya on one of my favorite shows. How can a beauty queen (Miss America, Miss USA…wtf ever) not take measures against the oil slick that always seems to be present on her face? Should the EPA get involved with this issue or HAZMAT? Any who… on the edge of my seat for the Reunion. I hope Phaedra brings her stun gun and it accidently is discharged in Kenya’s direction. :/
It would seem that Bravo isnt too crazy about Porsha since all they said about her is “Kordell has filed for divorce”. Period. I mean come on! How rude.
YES! I thought that was totally rude. You can tell they added that as an afterthought. I wonder what it said before Kordell decided to file.
Also agree! That is all they had to say, they could not muster one positive thing to say about that poor girl, everyone else got a few lines, even if they were lies….15 carats SMH!
I agree, Porsha has grown on me. She seems to have been very shelterd most of her life. I think Kordell only wanted a trophy wife. He wanted her to be seen and never heard and wouldn’t bother to find out if she could think. I think she has great potential, the show has brought her out of her shell a bit. I like Porsha I hope Andy gives her a chance next season, and for pitty sake GET RID of Kenya. She might have been miss USA 20 years ago, but there are 20 more years on that face and body. She needs to learn to be nice to people and not suck up to only those she thinks can further what ever she wants to do. She might have been pritty on the outside years back and that has faded – it’s called maturing,now she NEEDS to work VERY HARD on pritty on the inside. Oh well just sayin
I completely agree. Rude, rude, rude. Does Bravo think so little of women that the only way to describe them is to refer to who they are or aren’t married to. Porscha was gorgeous last night and by far the most beautiful woman in the room. Come on Bravo, what an insult.
It is called real houseWIVES. It’s built around who they’re married, living with or “seriously” dating.
yes i totally agree porsha is a very breautiful woman.and when kordell ,sees that she wants something more out of life than being a stay home mom he hops up get a divorce .shame on you.i think that porsha need a strong thug in her life who is going to lay it down and stop being so damm stuck up.porsha want be single long.and yes i would love to see her on next season show.
kendra was wrong for throwing porsha out. kordell is the only punk around, I hope Porsha cleans him out. These women should not be seen on a show together because they do some nasty S””””T.
oh yes i agree kordell is a punk.he know damm well he want ever get a young woman like porsha again.and hell yes she needs to get half of everything.he want her to be lame and dumb ,he relly dont like her being with the other housewives,due to there schooling her especially nene.i know she will be just fine.
I thought all the ladies looked fabulous EXCEPT Cynthia. I mean she looked good but she was just wearing her normal clothes. (also kandi looked kind of busted. im DYING to know what went down between her and miss Lawrence, especially since she shaded him on wwhl and he read her in turn on Fashion Queens.
Two final observations: why whenever they get kicked out of somebody’s house they just gather and linger in the parking lot? And finally, ladies, if your husband encourages you to try out for Real housewives of ANYwhere…you in danger girl.
They are being shady to each other over that song she did for him at the end of season 3. He mentioned it on the hairdressers tell all at the beginning of season 5, and I think that pissed her off.
Don’t tease me and leave me hanging…what did he say?!?!
Oh Ya !!!!!!!!
Yep! Thats what Kelsey Grammer did too
Was the guy defending Kenya her oil tycoon boyfriend or security? Not sure if believe that is true for her anyway
Where did Greg get the money for a 15 carat diamond ring? His job as Nene’s assistant must pay pretty well. He doesn’t do anything else, does he?
If that sucker is a real 15 K ring I can fly to the moom; I wish Nene well but lets come back to earth. She makes good money I’m sure but just maybe Nene’s rich isn’t the real rich that have been VERY rich for many years. They are the ones that can buy the big rings. She feels she has arrived !!!!! BUT that kind of arrived can fail as quickley as it came. Girl save your money house wives will only last for a while and bills go on and on . Good luck to Nene and Greg I do with them well.
1) nobody believes that Kenya has an oil tycoon bf. We do believe she went to Dubai and came back with enough money to make her workout video though.
2) Nene needs to learn more about jewelry before telling tales. Like what a 15 carat diamond looks like and how much they cost. He unemployed man ain’t got over a million dollars to piss away on a ring nor does she have a 15 carat anything on her finger.
right, 1.5 is more like it.
yes! please do not lie to me about a 15 carat ring made out of glass, neither greg nor nene can afford that, silly!
It is probably nothing more than a white topaz worth a few hundred dollars that her son stole from Walmart.
I would love to know if these buffoons really think the public believes all the lies they tell? Do they really think we believe they live in the empty homes they film in?
Sure, its entertaining watching people make fools of themselves.
When Bravo FINALLY films an authentic show…..it will be Real Housewives (Atlanta) of cell block 5.
Good one I sooooooo agree Thanks that one gave me a good giggle
I don’t think it said 15 carat “diamond.” It could be 15 total carats of different stones including diamonds.
You are right! It didn’t. After reading all the arguing I was starting to think it did. I wonder what it is 15 carats of? lol.
Do you think that Nene would settle for anything less than diamonds?
I don’t think I can take another season of Kenya, I really hope she does not return but I am sure Andy and Bravo love all of her BS. Kenya dating an oil tycoon SMH probably another fake boyfriend, just like her fake boyfriend Walter. Kenya is such a liar. I thought Porsha looked beautiful. I hope she returns I like her. Kordell is so wrong for divorcing her. I wish Porsha the best,
porsha is intelligent she is a minister she preaches at a church in lithonia this is the wife kordell married her sermons is on the internet. the public dont know kordell and his wife and he dont like how they portray her as a airhead and the verbal abuse she takes-when my kids was small i had to work and everytime i left i cried. kordell is right why should she have to have a new born baby and have someone else to babysit when she can nurture her baby her self while he goes out to work. many of us is use to seeing the media protray our men as no good but kordell is a positive black men who believes that a man should handle his business and the women shouldnt have to struggle i like that and wish i had a life like that.
Lol. What the fuck language is that written in? Dear god. You wouldn’t know intelligent of it signed your welfare check.
I usually just lurk, but I had to respond to this. Yes, the comment that you responded to was a rambling mess, but where did the ‘you wouldn’t know intelligent of it signed your welfare check’ comment come from? How do you know the commenter is on welfare? How could you glean that from the comment they posted?
You want verification on that, but fully accept that I truly thought the poster used an actual different language? Please don’t try to bait me. You will lose.
@marnie 30 I agree with your comment to the response of teecee66 that was rather “salty”
I don’t even know how to reply underneath the comment which shows how technologically inept I am, but in response to TeeCee66’s response to my comment: Bait you? What would be the point of that? What would I have to lose in this exchange? This is a message board about a reality show, not real life. Of course I know you don’t have any verification that the commenter is on welfare, but why bring it up? You could have simply left an ‘Are you speaking in another language’ response and that would’ve sufficed, but it seemed like you were trying to trying to be pithy and clever, inferring that her inability to articulate her point was in some way related to being on welfare. My point was, WTF did her being on welfare have to do with her post being a rambling mess?
It’s not a message board. It is a blog.
And being uneducated and too stupid to know how to speak or write English does not naturally lead to poverty and welfare? Or I’m just not suppsed to say so? I’m supposed to pretend that defective people lead productive lives? Lol. Ok.
How do you know the commenter is stupid and or defective? Btw, thanks for correcting my blog v. message board mistake. I’m relatively young IRL, but an old fart when it comes to technology.
I’m just gonna take a guess here and say it was because the commenter’s post was unintelligible? And probably not the best authority on who is or isn’t intelligent?
I understand your point Tamara, but I don’t think you can accurately judge someone’s being defective or stupid by a harmless, rambling blog post. And I still fail to see how stupidity and said rambling post have anything to do with being on welfare. With all that being said, I think I made my point clear, and I don’t need to explore it any further. Btw, I really enjoy your site. The recaps and comments aren’t as one-sided as you find on other blogs.
Your point is lame.There IS a direct relationship between being stupid and being on welfare. You know it, but for some reason you’re pretending that you don’t.
You are hilarious!!!
I understand your point, but Kordell is so controlling how can someone be in a relationshp with him, let alone married to the guy?
I also never post, but I wanted to say to you that I was able to read your comment. It was clear and in English. Porsha is also my new favorite and I hope her and Kordell are able to work out their differences. Stay blessed and I hope all of your dreams and wishes come true.
Kenya Moore is gorgeous, intelligent and knows how to give good TV. That’s why Bravo likes her. I’m a fan but she did get on my nerves with that, over the top, security guard garbage for Porscha. It was completely uncalled for and tasteless. Porsha headed straight to Kenya in order to provoke her but nevertheless..
Correction:
Kenya had a theatrical scene from “The Color Purple” on stage.
The African dancer(s) were on the floor.
I have no problem believing Kenya Moore has a man with few million. Kenya can get a rich man from Dubai to Dublin – cray cray or not.
The way Bravo end-noted Porsha was fitting. It’s not as if she has anything else to update. And for the record, she has, not a molecule, of NO Dorothy Dandridge about her. However, she does look like Arsenio Hall in drag.
Had to sign in just to say that I co-sign your comment. Also, I don’t think I will be able to ride with RHOA next season if they let that pig in an awful blonde wig back on the show. Her and Nene can both disappear, the show needs a re-boot anyway.
I was looking forward to a full season of the RHOA without Kim. It seems to me that my wish will not become true because too many people think that she will possibly be back! I hope not!
Anybody know why we didn’t see much, if any, of Phaedras funeral business this season? It seems she’s always dipping her hand into a new hustle as if being a lawyer doesn’t pay enough. First funerals, then workout videos, now stun guns?!! How about just sticking to litigation?
You forgot the animal funeral biz.
Phaedra never skips an opportunity to look tacky I see. She should wear more loose fitting clothing.Really.
I thought Phaedra’s costume was the best!
I honestly think Kenya is too crazy for this show, she just comes off as an ugly fake person. The previews of the reunion with her being nasty and spewing venom don’t exactly make me want to watch it.
The season finale of RHOA was good. I guess I’m the only one who saw Tommy from Martin and thought what the hell happen to him. I could not watch the therapy session with Porsha. I feel bad for her but I believe this is truly a blessing in disguise. I want Phaedra to have several seats. You from one thing to the next. I agree with Two Pseudonyms its ok to have many hustles but damn you have a career although you couldn’t help Sheree but that was more her fault then yours. I’m mad that Todd let Kandi walk out the house like that. Here’s my question why when Kenya saw Todd she did not throw him out? He did not have a costume or a suit on and he was allow to stay. I’m glad Porsha changed her outfit although she had to have someone else tell her about Kenya shading her. She came in to the party and turn it out. The only reason Kenya threw Porsha out was the fact that Porsha look way better than her. Kenya look a hot ass mess and could have wore a better wig then that. Ms Nene turned it out as Grace Jones. I agree with her when she said that Cynthia could have done a better Diana Ross. That whole scene with Kenya and Nene was fake as hell. Why was Nene giving advice to Kenya who has been in the industry longer than her? Yes I do know that this is the Nene show but come on Bravo you can do better than that. Sorry for the long rant.
That was Tommy? I thought it looked like him, but he changed!
I think Todd is looking less interested in every shot.
And one more thing! It seemed like FOREVER as Kordell stood there while those two “security guards” tried to escort Porsha out. A real man would have said get your hands off my wife!!! It took him several minutes to even respond.
Thats cause he was more interested in the male guards……..
I understood that whole confrontation to be faker than ___ (insert something really fake here). It makes no sense to me that if Porsha was being kicked out and everyone else decided to go with her, then why did everyone leave the party and just stand around outside? Nobody seemed to be going to get their cars or anything; they were all just standing around. Cynthia was instructed to call Nene which was really random. And when she called Nene she didn’t even tell her they were leaving she just said, “make sure you’re dressed as your assigned character.” Also, Kenya had no reason to follow them outside if she was kicking out Porsha since her security was taking care of it. She could have – or should have – stayed inside to entertain the remaining guests. I guess the instruction was to have the confrontation outside not inside in front of the other “guests”/extras. Lastly, if Porsha has such a distaste for Kenya, why would she agree to go back into the party after she was embarrassed and removed from a party by someone she doesn’t even like in the least bit? Nobody would do that!! Porsha should have been left the parking lot before Kenya even had a chance to make it outside if she was that upset. I’m sorry, that whole scene was just too fake and set up for me. I couldn’t even take it seriously. [End Scene].
ps – I feel really bad for Porsha because of the way Kordell blindsided her with the divorce, especially seeing how she defended her husband and marriage throughout the entire season. It’s hard to see her take such a strong stand for her personal life and then see Kordell take advantage of her like that. It is obvious she takes being a wife and the sanctity of marriage very seriously.
I’m sure Porsha is hurt now but when she watches some re-runs of this season, she will thank her lucky stars. Ain’t nothing like watching yourself on television to see what your life really looks like.
If anyone was under the illusion that Kenya paid for a Bravo finale party, your very much mistaken. its all for the cameras.
Teecee66, you are so fucking rude! You deserve a foot up your asshole!
Maybe.
Tamara, what is up with some of your commenters seeming inability to conjugate verbs? I’m going to need them to form a line. Several lines, in fact.
Just don’t mention welfare. TC did and it got them all riled up.
Perhaps English is not their first language? *shrugs*
Then they should be studying English and not wasting time with Bravo shows.
Some, if not most, of the women on the Bravo shows need to study English.
Who wants to attend a ‘party’ with dozens of silly little vignettes of stupid movies. OMG Kenya is so boring and every single thing she does is to try and make herself look like she’s somebody. 300 people……Kenya doesn’t have one single friend. THAT was not a party, just a mess. Phaedra, NeNe, and Porsche looked really good. The rest look like they went to their closet or Goodwill and picked up something to wear to a third rank Halloween Party. Standing outside the party you have just walked out on was just plain staging/scripted as the whole season has been. Kenya throwing Porscha out of the party was beyond psychotic. For once, the rest of the group finally stood up for what was right. Anything Kenya is involved with is a disaster. This franchise is on the edge.
Phaedra of all the women is the least of my liking. There is something so shady and messy with this woman. I use to like her, but now I find her fake, pretentous, a back stabber, that smile in your face but is as fake as they come, kinda like a lawyer…oh, I forgot, she is a lawyer.
Interesting that the party was to “Honor” Iconic Black Women in Hollywood; of which she referred to as her “friends”, but NONE of them were there LOL.
Also, did NO ONE get the whole “park ranger” comment? /sighs
I did.
Hey, somebody’s gotta make sure those park bathrooms are safe….
I was wondering if the comment earlier about Porsha preaching had any truth…turns out it does! The video is a litle over 8 minutes of her preaching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UubvvUmpge8
oops, meant “little”
My question is, why is Kenya dressed like Cleopatra Jones (Tamara Dobson)? Did she say she was supposed to be Foxy Brown or Coffy (Pam Grier). Coffy/Foxy both wore an afro but I don’t remember it being that huge, but Cleopatra Joneses was huge!
I remember Tamara Dobson too but – No. That was the hair and exact outfit that Grier wore once. Although I can’t recall the title right now. It was an iconic image of Grier. But since Kenya has the same hair as Pam you’d think she’d use it.
I think probably because without the wig she’d just look like herself.
We can beat this dead horse all day if we like, but the truth is Kenya wanted to knock Ms. Money$$$$, ie Porshe’s down a peg or two and it backfired. End of story. Had everything to do with the Bravo finale we gotta have at season end and who better to kick it off than Porshe and Kenya.
Look at the end of the day, Kenya is salvatating all the way back to a new season with Porshe her jealousy figure all but gone. I don’t see her returning next season and I do see Kenya being upt a bit in payroll.
I definitely see Kenya’s salary bumped; and because Porsha is Kenya’s nemesis, she’ll get to return as the tragedy she is.
She’ll be back as the imbecile she is.
Since Phaedra will be on another show, do you think she will stay on RHOA?
Yes, and her other show is not a done deal. Nene had a show in development that didn’t make it out before…
Seems like Phaedra needs to drum up business money any way she can.. Funeral business, Pet funeral business, Work Out Video, Stun Guns now advertising her legal services. All of which clearly tells me she doesn’t have enough clients from her law practice. Wonder why.
Speaking of which… has anyone else seen the page where she sells the stun gun? I don’t know whose body her head is on in that picture, but it definitely isn’t the same chubby little body she had all strapped into that hideous green outfit on her workout video. Photoshop anyone?
Like a green smurf. But Why?
I just saw that. There’s no way that’s her body – the boobs aren’t even pushed up under her chin like they always are!
Yep that, and it’s actually a nice figure.