The Real Housewives in Atlanta are back home and Porsha isn’t even unpacked yet when Kordell finds an EPT box. Porsha attempts to explain it by telling Kordell that Kandi had a “lingerie party” and she was giving everybody gift bags. I wonder why Kordell didn’t see the er…other gifts? Porsha needs directions to pee on a stick. That is not a joke. She is serious. Kordell can barely instruct her himself. I’m not sure this is a gene pool worth sperm actually swimming in. Porsha has started trying to act in her talking heads. sigh.
Porsha decides to tell Kordell that the other housewives make fun of her because Kordell is “controlling” right before they go to “Peter’s Health Event.” Kordell says he is in control but he is not controlling. Porsha decides to talk about having kids and where they are with that. You know, while the cameras are rolling. It just comes up. Oh wait no it doesn’t. It was surely written on a cue card behind Kordell’s head. Kordell says he is the man of the house and he is not going to contribute to actually raising the kid. She needs to decide if she wants a baby or a career. Porsha wants a nanny. Kordell says no way.
Nene is on a press tour in NYC for The New Normal. Who the heck selects their jewelry at the interview location? Nene I reckon. Girl, you need to have that planned out. Nene reminds us that she is “good at talking.” She so wants to be a talk show host. She really needs a grammar lesson or twelve before that happens. Chapter one subject-verb agreement. If we made it a drinking game for RHOA every time she screws it up we would already be drunk. DRINK! Why is she changing back into the travel outfit to drive two blocks to The Today Show just to change again? I must be psychic because she gets stuck in traffic and doesn’t have time to change so she was stuck in her “street clothes” for Kathy Lee and Hoda. Drink!
Peter is hosting an event for men’s health awareness for Atlanta’s social elite. Read that sentence again. Because…Anyway that’s what Cynthia said. I listened twice. Let’s just forge ahead, shall we? Walter, the tow truck company owner is among Atlanta’s elite and simply must be invited. By Peter. Because Peter is in charge of inviting Atlanta’s social elite to this major event. Is this making sense to anyone? Is it just me? Cynthia tries on a few elegant gowns and then suggests an androgynous look with a tailored suit. Peter likes the suit. *cough* Cynthia goes with a long side pony which is not really to the side. Y’all are always making fun of Cynthia’s hair and I always think y’all are crazy but with a suit she needed a very short hair style not that ponytail hanging awkwardly on one shoulder.
Walter shows up to the party stag. Kenya shows up with Jamal Anderson. When this was filmed, Kenya went on twitter to deny she was dating Jamal. Which is just what you do if you want people to start rumors saying you are. Oh Kenya. In her talking heads, Kenya says it is not a date but she is sure that Jamal would like it to be. I wonder who Jamal owed such a big favor to? Kordell maybe? Meanwhile, Phaedra is hugging and flirting with Walter and Kenya is not happy. Kenya is having a costume party to honor iconic black women from film. Everyone will come in costume. She seems to think she can assign costumes to the guests. (This party is the finale by the way. Strange it should end with a “Kenya Event.”) I wonder if Kenya will come as Vivian Leigh wearing a green velvet curtain? Kenya says she is leaving. The boys get together and talk boy talk with each other. Walter has nothing kind to say about Kenya. She’s too old for him. I’ll spare you the bravado. More important things are happening as Kenya is leaving, remember? She tells Jamal to go eat some sushi (I thought they were leaving?) so she can try to make up with Phaedra. Phaedra decides to not cause a scene and go with the flow allowing Kenya to think they are moving forward. After all, Kenya’s party is the finale which means everyone must attend.Cynthia tries to make sense of the Kenya and Walter situation while shopping for dresses. Kenya starts her “Walter is gay!” rumors. That is just all kinds of sad.
Kandi has her first office. Why isn’t she putting the office in the guest house? She has plenty of room on her property and she could have her studio right there.
At Kandi’s housewarming party, Cynthia gets the royal tour. Kandi’s house looks amazing. She knows how to get a bargain and then put money into the things that are important to her. Riley’s room is spectacular but not in an overdone way. It’s Riley’s room and you can tell Riley got to help decorate. I love that. Kandi’s house(s) is amazing. She did a great job with decorating. Walter shows up with a younger date for the party! Now Walter has said he did not get paid for RHOA but I am starting to wonder now that he is showing up even after the fake romance is over. But if he did get paid, he is sure putting Bravo on blast. In general, husbands do not get paid on these shows, nor do minor children. And Slade from RHOOC has never gotten paid (poor thing). So I guess Walter just likes being on TV. Walter is the Slade of RHOA.
Meanwhile, Apollo and Peter are gossiping about Kenya saying he was gay. Apparently Apollo called Walter to tell him and Walter is at the party to “let Kenya have it.” And they say men don’t gossip… Peter says it’s going to be great and he is going to watch the show. Meanwhile, Walter is sitting with the guys while his date looks out of place and very uncomfortable sitting alone. She gets out her phone to amuse herself. There are a ton of people at this party and a lot of the Bravo crew old and new is there. Producers and other people who Todd knows from production. Kandi tells Kenya that Walter is there and she claims Walter is a stalker (What is it with these Atlanta women and their false stalking claims?) and she doesn’t have her security with her! Kenya makes a big scene and sneaks out the side door and we will pick up next week with Kenya having a hissy fit in the parking lot once again.