Okay, I guess there has been enough time since the Shah’s Lost Footage! episode for me to actually try to watch Vanderpump Rules Reunion Secrets! Sigh. The things I do for you people. You better all have watched this. If not. Stop right now and do your time! Here we go. I may make this another dumb quotes entry. I doubt there will be a need for a whole lot of words here. It looks like the premise here is that despite the reunion being exceedingly bad, Bravo would like to show us some of the even worse footage that wasn’t good enough for the actual crappy reunion. Yay! I am watching because Bravo controls my brain!
Stassi has had two crying hissyfits in the first ten minutes. In this one, Stassi is berating Jax for mentioning they had sex the night before during a staff meeting at SUR. Stassi tearfully explains to Jax that she is a classy girl! Jax does a great job of not busting out laughing in her face. She follows it up with, “everyone is already calling me a whore!”
Tom introduces us to the term “crymax” which apparently is crying while climaxing. And you thought Tom could not be any gayer!
Peter, the cute manager guy tried to warn Laura Leigh about Jax several times. Jax does not use condoms. SHOCKER! LL says to Jax, “If you hurt me I will kill you…” Jax says, “If I had a dollar for every time a girl said that to me…” Jax lies about the girl in Vegas saying she was not ever pregnant. As much as he lies, you would think he would be better at it!
Okay so I was wrong to try and make you guys go watch this. Nevermind. Sorry.