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You are here: Home / RHOBH / Lisa Vanderpump / Vanderpump Rules Recap: Birthday Brawls and Chippendales

Vanderpump Rules Recap: Birthday Brawls and Chippendales

January 28, 2013 by tamaratattles 16 Comments

VPcastOkay, I am going to watch Vanderpump Rules and this will be more of a Random Thoughts than a Recap. Update, okay it’s a recap.  Because apparently I am unable to look away.  Stassi is apparently suspended from work. I must have missed why. Stassi is having a birthday party in Vegas. Since Stassi dumped Jax she is taking Frank as her date.  All of her friends are telling Stassi Frank is a scumbag. Stassi is getting pissed off her friends hate Frank. Her friends are all like, “What happened to chicks before dicks, man?”  Like totally. I might dislike Stassi’s brunette minions more than I dislike Stassi.

In other birthday news, it’s Scheana’s boyfriend’s birthday. I actually like Scheana. I know it’s wrong. But I do. Her boyfriend looks cute in this episode. I’m in a good and loving mood today, so maybe that is it. Scheana and two B-team girls have to work the entire restaurant on a Saturday night because everyone else is at Stassi’s birthday. They are swamped.

VPjax2Thank the eye candy gods that Jax is going to crash Vegas. He’s really the only reason to watch. Well and the manager guy with the long hair. Jax sent gorgeous flowers to her room and Stassi’s reaction was that she wanted to throw them against the wall and take a knife to his face. Oh Jax. You really need to run the other way. Instead we are going to see two fools fight in a parking lot. I admit to really liking when this happened when I was their age. I can’t be too judgey here.

Stassi is taking everyone to Chippendales. Tom, of the concealer and ultra hold hairspray, really wants us to know he is so not into this. Peter off the sexy pony tail is getting hit on hard by some drunk chick who is sure that he is a stripper planted in the audience. Stassi and Frank are making out during the show. Off to a Morrocan restaurant. Enter Jax. Jax is welcomed by everyone except Stassi and Frank and greets everyone. His greeting to Frank was, “You can suck my cock.” Discussion on that breaks out and one of the guys, Tom but maybe not concealer Tom, it’s hard to tell says, “Fuck you Stassi!” Stassi throws a drink in his face. Then he throws one back. All hell breaks loose and it is on.  Things move outside and there is production visible in the scene. That is always a sign something awesome is about to happen.

Frank is trying to walk away with a producer. One of the other pretty boys has already taken his shirt off and gone after someone. Then Jax’s purty white chunky sweater comes off and he goes after Frank who gets into a cab and leaves. Way more shirts are flying off than the Chippendales show. Stassi is inside with the pony tail guy and Tom of the Water tossing incident. I have no idea why they are inside when all the fun is happening in the parking lot. Everyone else gets in the limo leaving Stassi behind with Tom and Peter. I say go back to Peter’s room. What? I’m just saying. He’s cute. Looks like Tom might be in the limo too. Jax is hitting the bottle. Literally drinking straight from the vodka bottle.

Morning has broken. The other staff that could not get off on Saturday showed up today. I think both brunettes have boyfriends named Tom. I am going to need one of tem to change their name. Frank left. Jax left. And poor widdle Stassi is all alone. Stassi is mad at the brunette minions. She texts the minions and their boyfriends a picture of her with the new Sunday people all perky at breakfast. One of the minions calls Lisa from Vegas and interrupts her viewing of Pandora’s wedding video with Ken. She wants not to be scheduled with Stassi because she assaulted her. Lisa is not amused and tells them to work it out.  The minions go to the party that night and Stassi was a bitch to them. I wonder how they will all work together at Sur after this?

To be continued…

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Filed Under: Lisa Vanderpump, Vanderpump Rules Tagged With: Adam Spott, Ariana Madix, Beau Clark, Billie Lee, Brian Carter, Brittany Cartwright, Entertainment, Entertainment News, James Kennedy, Jax Taylor, Jeremy Madix, Katie Maloney, Kristen Doute, Lala Kent, Lisa Vanderpump, Morons, Peter, PUMP, Raquel Leviss, Scheana Marie, Scheana Shay, Stassi Schroeder, SUR, Tom and Katie, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Tom Tom, TomTom, Vanderpump Rules

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. momadison says

    January 28, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    When isn’t Stassi a bitch? I mean I get this is like a Real World casting how to video but really do you ever get the feeling Stassi is repeating what she just said out loud, in her head? It’s like she is a bitch playing a bitch on TV who is playing a bitch on TV, its like that courtroom scene in Escape from Planet of the Apes! Ugh, I am dating myself. Oh shoot, I just gave Stassi her next plotline!

    Reply
    • wildrose says

      January 29, 2013 at 4:18 am

      I’m sorry, but I find this half-assed attempt at a new series from Vanderpump/Bravo an insult to our intelligence. I’ve seen someone in the cast winking three different times during two shows as though they are saying: “yeah i know this is out of sequence but Bravo is “editing” and we must do it again now. I HATE this show and wouldn’t watch it a third time if my life depends on it. This show is exactly like the “Hills’ and we know what happened to it. Lisa Vanderpump needs to close Sur, as it is pretty on the outside but ugly and cheap on the inside…in all categories…decor, staff and food. Cheap CHEAP!

      Reply
      • MaryC says

        January 29, 2013 at 10:41 am

        I like the show whether it’s real or fake. I find it entertaining. Also unless one has been in and eaten at the restaurant I would think it hard to evaluate. It looks like a fun night spot for young hollywood people.

        Reply
      • Joan says

        January 31, 2013 at 1:19 am

        Join the club Wildrose. None of my ‘reality addicted’ girlfriends are watching future shows as well. Irregardless of how much of this is scripted, the petty, bitchy Stassi ruins the entire show. Knowing Bravo, they’ll probably make another girl be the bitchy one later in the season. The men are toys in these stupid plot lines. I guess there are men out there like Jax who want to go back for more and more abuse. However, I’ve not met one who did that looked like JAX. He’s 33, Stassi is 23, and she’s paying the bills? Yeesh………….. Also, and this could just be me….but both SUR & the lounge next door (can’t remember the name) seem a bit icky, trashy to me. The floors look dirty, and with the exception of the white table cloths & glasses (which are spot free!) and silverware, the only things that look clean, everywhere the camera spans just looks icky.

        Reply
    • Joan says

      January 31, 2013 at 1:24 am

      And what’s with the liquor everywhere? I’m listneing to Amy Whinehouse singing “Rehab, no no no”. Seriously – drinking shots back at the bar while one of the waitstaff needs “something” to help get through the night? Starting a morning off with a swig of Vodka? Another thing – how can those girls be a size 2, or 0 if they drink like fish every night/day? I wanna know.

      Reply
  2. Barbara says

    January 29, 2013 at 10:20 am

    You are a saint for watching this show. I just had enough last week and decided to never watch again. I hate that men go crazy over women that are bitchy and self absorbed? Jax deserves everything he gets with her cause he is old enough to know better. The show is all about the mean girls being mean and the men that sleep with them. I also started to like Scheana , who I thought was supposed to be the villian but what a surprise she comes off as the most likeable stable one of the bunch. Now what does this say about Eddie Cibrian and his choice in women?

    Reply
  3. Barbara says

    January 29, 2013 at 10:44 am

    FYI Stassi was taken off the schedule because her JOB was interfering with her love life. Hate when this happens to me. Somehow I just seem to get fired not go party in Vegas for my bday. wtf am I doing wrong.

    Reply
  4. tamaratattles says

    January 29, 2013 at 11:14 am

    I actually kinda liked this episode. I should have titled this, “the minions grow brains.”

    Reply
  5. karen says

    January 29, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    Stassi is a complete BITCH and it is about time her lap dogs woke up.

    Reply
  6. kathyf48 says

    January 29, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    I thought the funniest part was when they all took off their shirts to fight my husband and I could not stop laughing.

    Reply
  7. tamaratattles says

    January 29, 2013 at 11:43 pm

    Clearly none of you have taught school in a bad district. When shirts come off the boys or earrings come off the girls, PUSH THE BUTTON!

    Reply
    • DJ says

      January 30, 2013 at 1:41 am

      Have you ever read the book, “Don’t Make A Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings” by Madea (Tyler Perry)? It’s hilarious.

      Reply
  8. Gbell says

    January 30, 2013 at 12:44 am

    This is like Sweet Valley High on bath salts.

    Reply
    • Joan says

      January 31, 2013 at 1:21 am

      Gbell – ROFL.

      Reply
  9. Warrior says

    January 24, 2019 at 12:04 pm

    Thanks for the throwback link. Great to read at this point in time and so few comments too! You’ve really grown your audience 🙂

    Reply
    • Kipper says

      January 30, 2019 at 5:20 pm

      Right? Caught me reading…smiley face

      Reply

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