Tamara Tattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade.

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You are here: Home / Vanderpump Rules / Vanderpump Rules Recap It’s a Hot Pink Mess

Vanderpump Rules Recap It’s a Hot Pink Mess

January 16, 2013 by tamaratattles 30 Comments

VPcastFinally watching the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules. It’s gay pride week and Lisa wants to put a SUR float in the parade with all the servers on it. Her business partner G thinks it’s too expensive but the plans go forward.

Stassi is talking about how her parents cut off support for her when she graduated from college and that is her reason for wanting to go to grad school. I’d love to make fun of her for that, but I basically did the same thing. Grad school is full of people who are there to put off joining the workforce for as long as possible. Stassi is sharing her boyfriend issues with Katie.  Stassi says there is nothing good about her relationship with Jax. Breakup looming. Stassi admits that she let Jax live with her for free and she got him the job at SUR.

Scheana and her mom go on a mother-daughter outing. They decide on high tea at the Ritz. Oh wait, no they don’t they go to the tattoo shop to get tattoos together. Isn’t that special? So we are treated to a poorly thought out scene of the two gossiping about Stassi over the annoying buzz of the tattoo gun. Mom gets a foot tattoo and Scheana gets a tasteful neck tattoo. Tasteful neck tattoos are small and behind the ear it seems.

VPstassiStassi is meeting Jax for lunch. Apparently, Jax slept in his car last night to avoid Stassi. “How do you think that makes me feel?”, asks Stassi. Stassi says that she deserves better. That is open to debate.

Oh lord, we have Kevin Lee on Vanderpump Rules to design the big pink gay float.

Jax is on a modeling shoot. At 33 his jobs are slowing down. He is talking about how Stassi has cancelled jobs on his behalf before when she didn’t want him to go. She’s very vindictive Jax says. That’s a pretty big word for a model. Jax thinks he need to quit modeling to placate Stassi.

Time for the Gay Pride Parade. Lisa is frantically searching for Stassi, who she admits is her favorite. The servers are dipping into the tequila and Lisa is screaming “We are not drinking alcohol!” Because I’m sure no one drinks at a gay pride parade that would be tacky. Stassi arrives and Lisa tells her to stay away from Jax for now. So Stassi goes straight to the float with her two brunette minions to bitch about Jax. This job these people have looks very taxing. Stassi has told us many times that she is 23 years old. She seems to think that means she has life all figured out. She keeps trying to tell Jax all the things he is doing wrong but he never does anything about it.  Stassi dear, you bought yourself a model not a model boyfriend. He doesn’t really exercise his brain that much. You knew this when you picked him up at the model store.

In her talking head Stassi says that she has been in a lot of serious relationships in her 23 years and she knows exactly what she wants and taking care of a 32 year old man is not high on her list. Well it is definitely on your list Stassi because you picked one up and brought him home. I blame your piss poor training of him for your current situation.

VPSURfloatAfter Lisa told Jax to put a Sur shirt on, Ken tells him to take it off. Shirtless Jax hops up on the float and Lisa takes to her pink throne and we are off! Jax needs sunscreen and Scheana applies it to his back. The entire waitstaff is on the back of a flatbed truck so of course Stassi and the brunettes notice. Stassi spends the rest of the ride staring holes through Scheana and Jax. Kristen, who is one of the brunettes, seems very invested in getting camera time the situation.

It seems the float did the trick because now SUR is full of half-naked gay men. Lisa is trying to talk sense into Stassi and tell her to keep her private matters at home. Jax who is practically homeless is behind the bar (which is empty) apparently praying for a quick and painless death.  Stassi and Kristen are outside so that Stassi can cry. You know, about the suntan lotion. Stassi says through sobs that she is trying not to be dramatic for once.  When she goes in to wait her tables, Jax asks her to step outside for a minute. Jax wants to squash this and be professional at work. Stassi shrieks, “Did you say squash this?”  and then says that Jax was taking shirtless pictures with a homewrecking whore, just the two of them. Um, Stassi, in Weho that is called Tuesday. What is your point? Jax says that he did nothing wrong and this is an everyday issue for her.

On Thursday, apparently the entire crew was off from SUR because they are all a birthday party for some friend of Jax at another bar. The friend of Jax is one of the other guys from SUR. I think. Maybe.  Oh apparently Jax is working. They are texting him now. Scheana wants to confront Stassi so that the work environment is less hostile. Scheana begins by apologizing if she was too flirty or if offended her, if she was out of line and Stassi screaches, “Don’t say if!” and lays into her about how she is apologizing incorrectly. I hope Scheana doesn’t say she is just trying to squash things between them. Stassi expresses concern about Scheana being around Jax. And on that cue  Jax walks in and goes to the bar and does seven shots in a row. Jax gets a drink for Stassi and goes to talk to her and she is in bitch mode.

Stassi is breaking up with Jax so he can find out what things are like without her. I think this would be great for Jax. Poor dumb  Jax doesn’t realize he needs to drop her like a hot rock. Stassi is getting a cab to take her home, but Jax wants to drive her. Did I mention the seven shots plus drinks?

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Filed Under: Vanderpump Rules

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Karma Grant says

    January 16, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    I liked the tattoos. I also liked Lisa telling Stassi she overreacted, that it was just a bit of lotion (she also says it in her blog about the show). Oh and SheSheShe! (sorry, not sure how to spell that correctly.)

    Reply
  2. Chrissyt44 says

    January 16, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    HaHaHaHa….Your recap is HI-larious.

    That Stassi is a piece of work. Way to high maintenience.
    I word of advice to Jax. Pretty girls are way to much work. He should find a ok girl who is 10-20 lbs. overweight and he would be much happier. Plus bigger girls are better in bed and way more appreciative. I know cause I am….

    Reply
  3. LH52094 says

    January 16, 2013 at 5:56 pm

    That Stassi is a head case. She keeps telling everyone how her previous boyfriends have cheated on her, admits her insecurity, but doesn’t put two and two together that SHE’S THE REASON! Hello!! She needs a lot of expensive therapy.

    Reply
  4. Stephen (@NewJerzeyBoy) says

    January 16, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    This show is just a huge bore. The only reason it is getting decent rating is because it is shown right after RHOBH.

    Reply
    • Charley says

      January 18, 2013 at 10:21 am

      I agree 100%.

      Reply
  5. Adriane Perry says

    January 16, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    I’m still on the fence with this show. To be honest as annoying as Stassi comes off she is carrying the whole show. I think everyone else is pretty boring so far besides the small scenes Lisa appears in. Even Scheana is a let down in the personality department. Jax telling Stassi he can drive her home made me do a double take after him showing off in the 7 shot scene!

    Reply
  6. sandybo says

    January 16, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    I fell asleep after fifteen minutes so missed most of it. So as usual your post helped me out tremendously! Plus I had a good laugh. (I have it on now.) I can’t stand Stassi. It’s strange Lisa would keep such a hostile know it all snarky little shit. She makes coming to work such a drag and I would imagine many have quit because of her and gone where it is a nicer, friendlier environment. She does create a hostile environment and just sucks any joy there is out of a room. . . Before I became disabled, I worked as a nursing instructor. I would have kicked her out of the class for her hateful behavior towards others. I did get a kick out of Scheana and her mom having tats done and then going to have high tea! It’s like listening to Stepphenwolf’s * Born To Be Wild* and then switching over in the next moment to Vivaldi’s * Four Seasons*….

    Reply
  7. Ericzku says

    January 16, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    Thanks for recapping, Tamara, so I don’t have to watch this shitshow. I saw the premiere and was Bored. To. Death. That is, when I wasn’t too busy being disgusted by how shallow, vapid, self-absorbed, and immature all of these people are.

    I think a problem with the show is that all of the people are so detestable…there doesn’t seem to be anyone with whom the audience can identify/empathize with/root for. All villains and no heroes, as it were…do you agree?

    Perhaps there is some potential in the bartend er guy…he seemed to be the only one of the lot who had any trace of common sense.

    What do you think?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:38 pm

      I’m TRYING to like Scheana but I wanted her to be less of a victim of the mean girls and more of a shitstirrer. I’m going to need her to break up with her boyfriend for the sake of her storyline. Sadly, I think they are still together.

      Jax the bartender is unfortunately not very smart, to put it nicely. I don’t think we will get much out of him other than eye candy.

      I’m not so sure how much longer I can hang with this.

      Reply
      • Ericzku says

        January 16, 2013 at 8:02 pm

        Just went to the Bravo site to look up the guy I was referring to…it’s not Jax or Tom…he was the vaguely Latino-looking one with the facial hair and the knit hat.

        I guess as an employee he wasn’t eye-roll-inspiring enough to be one of the “star” cast members. Oh well.

        Reply
      • DJ says

        January 16, 2013 at 8:14 pm

        I gave up after the first episode. Once was enough for me.

        Reply
      • TracyMC says

        January 17, 2013 at 12:56 am

        I want to wipe half of Scheana’s makeup off. Doesn’t she realize that she looks older (and not in a good way) with all that goop? Ugh.

        Reply
  8. tamaratattles says

    January 16, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    Oh him! He’s hot. I think he is like a manager or something. Maybe we will see more of him later.

    Reply
    • Karma Grant says

      January 16, 2013 at 9:48 pm

      Peter the Manager. I like him.

      Reply
  9. Cynthia says

    January 16, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    I swear that pink crap on the float was from Kevin Lee’s decor disaster when he did Anna Nicole Smith’s bedroom a million years ago. Anybody remember that? He hasn’t grown as a decorator since then??!!!? This show is soooo not worth anyone’s time. It seems to be the consensus of the responders anyway. I have list respect for Lisa watching how she “runs” Sur, who she hires to work there, and the nasty back of the restaurant where a lot of the drama goes down. Has anyone else been grossed out by the sight of broke down chairs, dumpsters, and junk in the back of the restaurant? Cigarette butts everywhere… At least they should have a pale pink break room to talk trash in. I would have expected Lisa to provide that, seeing as how cultured she is. And every good restaurant keeps their back door area clean, right???? Ok, not. Come to think of it, though, a crappy place to take a break is all this ridiculous crowd deserves.

    Reply
    • Danielle says

      January 17, 2013 at 1:43 am

      Butts, broken shit and talk behind dumpsters is how the BOH rolls, baby.

      Reply
    • Katrina says

      January 17, 2013 at 9:34 am

      Restaurant owners do not want to encourage employees to take excessive breakes! You can go home and rest.

      Reply
    • sars says

      January 17, 2013 at 10:28 pm

      i dont think kevin lee is bobby trendy.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        January 17, 2013 at 10:29 pm

        you are correct, but not much difference lol.

        Reply
  10. Che says

    January 16, 2013 at 11:41 pm

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned or made fun of Jax’s model boyfriend who said he was Mactor sp? don’t remember how he spelled but it means he’s a model and actor.I was getting some “how you doing?” vibes. Stassti is awful but I wish I could go back to grad school. I couldn’t stomach this second epsiode during the day, so I ended up watching the whole thing in the wee hours of the morning…

    Reply
  11. Kash511 says

    January 17, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    TAMARA have you seen Peter’s comments on SUR?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      January 17, 2013 at 10:30 pm

      no! email me the link at [email protected]

      Reply
      • soncee says

        January 18, 2013 at 2:38 pm

        Tam,
        Please be sure to share them with the rest of the class.

        Reply
  12. Keya Hamilton says

    January 17, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    It’s sad, I really like Lisa’s television personality because its fun. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for Vanderpump Rules…it’s a snoozer!

    Reply
    • DJ says

      January 17, 2013 at 4:42 pm

      It’s a good cure for insomnia.

      Reply
  13. Julius Maloney (@juliusmaloney) says

    January 18, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    I’ve just tried to watch first episode, and though I like Lisa, I haven’t come across a more unattractive cast in a long time. The first 4 minutes and I’m out. I haven’t had much success with any of the spin off HW shows…I really don’t have any interest outside of the context of each franchise. Oh & the fact that this had crossover (a lot) with RHBH just irritated the heck outta me. Nup, I’m done with this off-shoot… Sorry Lisa I love you otherwise.

    Reply
  14. Susan says

    January 20, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    So nice of Stassi to let Lisa and Ken own her restaurant!

    Reply
  15. Kate says

    January 20, 2013 at 3:58 pm

    I get the impression that Lisa doesn’t have much to do with SUR or really know much about it. SUR seems to be just a financial investment or an afterthought. I think Lisa agreed to do this show to generate publicity for an unpopular restaurant. That is why this show is boring; there is no story. Its servers at a restaurant that no one cares about.

    Reply
  16. tamaratattles says

    January 20, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    Not even close to true. Lisa is there all the time.

    Reply
  17. Kate says

    January 20, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    hmmm I thought she just started doing that for the show. Check out the reviews on Yelp before the series.

    Reply

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