Finally watching the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules. It’s gay pride week and Lisa wants to put a SUR float in the parade with all the servers on it. Her business partner G thinks it’s too expensive but the plans go forward.
Stassi is talking about how her parents cut off support for her when she graduated from college and that is her reason for wanting to go to grad school. I’d love to make fun of her for that, but I basically did the same thing. Grad school is full of people who are there to put off joining the workforce for as long as possible. Stassi is sharing her boyfriend issues with Katie. Stassi says there is nothing good about her relationship with Jax. Breakup looming. Stassi admits that she let Jax live with her for free and she got him the job at SUR.
Scheana and her mom go on a mother-daughter outing. They decide on high tea at the Ritz. Oh wait, no they don’t they go to the tattoo shop to get tattoos together. Isn’t that special? So we are treated to a poorly thought out scene of the two gossiping about Stassi over the annoying buzz of the tattoo gun. Mom gets a foot tattoo and Scheana gets a tasteful neck tattoo. Tasteful neck tattoos are small and behind the ear it seems.
Stassi is meeting Jax for lunch. Apparently, Jax slept in his car last night to avoid Stassi. “How do you think that makes me feel?”, asks Stassi. Stassi says that she deserves better. That is open to debate.
Oh lord, we have Kevin Lee on Vanderpump Rules to design the big pink gay float.
Jax is on a modeling shoot. At 33 his jobs are slowing down. He is talking about how Stassi has cancelled jobs on his behalf before when she didn’t want him to go. She’s very vindictive Jax says. That’s a pretty big word for a model. Jax thinks he need to quit modeling to placate Stassi.
Time for the Gay Pride Parade. Lisa is frantically searching for Stassi, who she admits is her favorite. The servers are dipping into the tequila and Lisa is screaming “We are not drinking alcohol!” Because I’m sure no one drinks at a gay pride parade that would be tacky. Stassi arrives and Lisa tells her to stay away from Jax for now. So Stassi goes straight to the float with her two brunette minions to bitch about Jax. This job these people have looks very taxing. Stassi has told us many times that she is 23 years old. She seems to think that means she has life all figured out. She keeps trying to tell Jax all the things he is doing wrong but he never does anything about it. Stassi dear, you bought yourself a model not a model boyfriend. He doesn’t really exercise his brain that much. You knew this when you picked him up at the model store.
In her talking head Stassi says that she has been in a lot of serious relationships in her 23 years and she knows exactly what she wants and taking care of a 32 year old man is not high on her list. Well it is definitely on your list Stassi because you picked one up and brought him home. I blame your piss poor training of him for your current situation.
After Lisa told Jax to put a Sur shirt on, Ken tells him to take it off. Shirtless Jax hops up on the float and Lisa takes to her pink throne and we are off! Jax needs sunscreen and Scheana applies it to his back. The entire waitstaff is on the back of a flatbed truck so of course Stassi and the brunettes notice. Stassi spends the rest of the ride staring holes through Scheana and Jax. Kristen, who is one of the brunettes, seems very invested in
getting camera time the situation.
It seems the float did the trick because now SUR is full of half-naked gay men. Lisa is trying to talk sense into Stassi and tell her to keep her private matters at home. Jax who is practically homeless is behind the bar (which is empty) apparently praying for a quick and painless death. Stassi and Kristen are outside so that Stassi can cry. You know, about the suntan lotion. Stassi says through sobs that she is trying not to be dramatic for once. When she goes in to wait her tables, Jax asks her to step outside for a minute. Jax wants to squash this and be professional at work. Stassi shrieks, “Did you say squash this?” and then says that Jax was taking shirtless pictures with a homewrecking whore, just the two of them. Um, Stassi, in Weho that is called Tuesday. What is your point? Jax says that he did nothing wrong and this is an everyday issue for her.
On Thursday, apparently the entire crew was off from SUR because they are all a birthday party for some friend of Jax at another bar. The friend of Jax is one of the other guys from SUR. I think. Maybe. Oh apparently Jax is working. They are texting him now. Scheana wants to confront Stassi so that the work environment is less hostile. Scheana begins by apologizing if she was too flirty or if offended her, if she was out of line and Stassi screaches, “Don’t say if!” and lays into her about how she is apologizing incorrectly. I hope Scheana doesn’t say she is just trying to squash things between them. Stassi expresses concern about Scheana being around Jax. And on that cue Jax walks in and goes to the bar and does seven shots in a row. Jax gets a drink for Stassi and goes to talk to her and she is in bitch mode.
Stassi is breaking up with Jax so he can find out what things are like without her. I think this would be great for Jax. Poor dumb Jax doesn’t realize he needs to drop her like a hot rock. Stassi is getting a cab to take her home, but Jax wants to drive her. Did I mention the seven shots plus drinks?