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You are here: Home / Bravo / TOP CHEF SEATTLE CAN EAT A BIG SACK OF DICKS

TOP CHEF SEATTLE CAN EAT A BIG SACK OF DICKS

November 7, 2012 by tamaratattles 29 Comments

My favorite Top Chef Seattle Contestant Anthony Gray with Art Smith

It’s Bravo’s big ratings season premiere week and I can’t promise what I’m going to blog about regularly but I’ve got a homeboy on Top Chef Seattle so I’m going to blog that tonight.  Unfortunately, I’ve already declared him my favorite and stalked him on twitter (I’m probably blocked, lol). Not to mention last season,  I picked @Whitney Otawka (who I also stalked, just to assuage and fears of @anthonyfgray ‘s wife) I feel like I jinxed her. If you are ever in Athens, Georgia, go see her at Farm255 and make me very jealous. I was more than a little pissed that Whitney lost, so sight unseen this season, I predict my favorite loses. You can make it up to him though by following him on twitter @anthonyfgray  I mean it’s the least we can do.

Anthony is an executive chef at Southern Art and Bourbon Bar owned by Art Smith. As much as I live for Art Smith, you’d think I had been there, but no. Anxiety is a bitch and I don’t really like to venture out that far, plus I’d need a driver because um bourbon? Yes please. Anthony’s everything southern and just like Whitney Otawka from last season, he knows his way around a pig. He’s self-taught which I love! He did go to Johnson and Wales in Charleston, SC my favorite city in the world for a bit of professional instruction. Still, hopefully he won’t serve deconstructed anything and will just be the down home farm to table kind of guy he is. So join me in rooting him on!

Argh here we go. I am already frustrated I am knee deep in two shows in this timeslot and DVR challenged. Gotta find an episode of The Challenge between now and Saturday. I had to stop it and it is my Saturday morning cartoon! So I am alredy missing stuff and behind. Thank God Tom Colicchio will make sure it is a vagicide the first three episodes at least so we know Anthony is safe. Plus there was some sort of butchering challenge. Anthony will be fine with  that. I missed what happens apparently we are all assigned to judges and one of each is eliminated?  I’m so pissed at my DVR right now. Tom’s group is butchering, Emeri’s group is making soup. I haven’t seen my homeboy yet. This seems very hectic and I’m just watching…Looks like what I missed is that they are going to do some sort of a The Voice thing where the judges pick teams? I’m confused. Emeril just put three chefs through.  So I suppose Tom will put three through. I’m going to bet three men go from him. Oh look he already put one guy through.

Wolfgang Puck appears to be doing an egg challenge. How cliche. I don’t see Anthony in there, so really who cares at this point?  Which means he is in Hugh Acheson’s group. I really wish he would have been in the butcher group. Hugh is also someone who works in Atlanta. He’s a fucking Canadian. I’m not a fan. Anthony is already in trouble because Hugh will not want to be out cooked. Art Smith is a GAJILLION times better than Hugh Acheson. I’m so pissed at Bravo for picking a Canadian as the “southern chef” Again, I blame Tom C. This season sucks already. Art Smith should have this spot.

WTF? Where is Anthony? Did I miss him somewhere? Hugh has people making salad. I think this is the last one. Am I going to have to trash this fabulous post? Who are these people? I only care about ANTHONY.

THERE IS ANTHONY. He’s apparently in Tom’s Group. This is good after all that is where I wanted him to be. I’m sorry but this episode was a bit confusing. I guess they put him with Tom rather than Hugh so Hugh would not be jealous! I had a malfunction at the beginning of the episode so I am relieve he is there. Editing has Tom acting like he isn’t that good. THIS IS A GREAT SIGN!  It appears the editing is all about Tom’s scenes being last because clearly he is the most important in his own mind.

Here we go, let’s watch Tom cut some females. He picks a token female and FUCK. He gets rid of Anthony.  Tom Colicchio is a HUGE asshole who hates women and southerns. I will NOT be watching.

You can eat real (good) food at by Anthony at Southern Art in Buckhead  and by Whitney at Farm255 in Athens and I will NOT be watching this stupid fucking show anymore. And Tom Colicchio can eat a bag of dicks.

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About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Danielle says

    November 8, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Have you got a problem with Canadians? Don’t make me step over this two four and out of my ice fishing hut, missy.

    Reply
  2. tamaratattles says

    November 8, 2012 at 12:03 am

    no. But THIS CANOOKIAN who has decided he can come down here and run a bunch of southern restuarants can suck my dick.

    Reply
    • Danielle says

      November 8, 2012 at 9:38 am

      The lucky ones get to leave. The rest of us left behind get to endure winter.

      Reply
  3. barbinga says

    November 8, 2012 at 1:15 am

    I’m catching it on rerun and am as confused as you appeared to be. However, I have a girl crush on Tom Collichio. He’s so not normally anything I’d ever be interested in, but I just want to….eat with him. I swear to god, a really good meal shared with TC would be better than sex to me.

    I’ve shared too much.

    Reply
  4. Karma Grant says

    November 8, 2012 at 10:36 am

    I wont be watching either but had to comment…I am so happy to read someone else NOT a fan of Hugh. Just something about him is off putting to me. I’ve only ever watched the Top Chef Texas season and yeah he annoyed me.

    Reply
    • soncee says

      November 8, 2012 at 12:04 pm

      Karma,
      Perhaps it’s the urge to pluck his freakin unibrow, that has you so turned off..I know it is for me.(LOL)

      Reply
      • Karma Grant says

        November 8, 2012 at 12:44 pm

        LOL!! That might be part of it. 🙂

        Reply
  5. Ms Urethra Franklin says

    November 8, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Where can I get me a “sack of dicks”? Sign me up.

    Reply
    • soncee says

      November 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm

      HI Urethra!
      Fancy meeting you here–long time no speak. How are ya?

      Reply
      • Ms Urethra Franklin says

        November 8, 2012 at 2:44 pm

        Hi Soncee….Nice bumping into ya here too….

        Reply
  6. tamaratattles says

    November 8, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    Some how in my drunken outrage, I managed to break spell check on this post. For real. I’ve tired eleventy billion times to fix it.

    But my outrage stands. Today I’m gonna go over to Hugh’s restaurant and set me up a food stand and sell poutine and eskimo pies and whatever else Canookians eat. I’m “reinventing” Canookian food. Danielle is gonna give me some other food ideas from her ice fishing hut.

    Reply
    • Danielle says

      November 8, 2012 at 3:20 pm

      Two-fours for sure, but make sure you serve them with serviettes.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        November 8, 2012 at 3:24 pm

        You don’t even know what FOOD is in Canada apparently. Though I have been know to have a two-four for dinner. 🙂 You need me to send you some cheese grits and bacon? 🙂

        Reply
  7. MaggieG says

    November 8, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    “…Thank God Tom Colicchio will make sure it is a vagicide…”
    I read your invented word here first (sometime during last season of TC I think) & never get tired of it. I confess to having pilfered it for use in my own conversations on occasion. Ha! (& thank you.)

    Sadly, I missed TC so couldn’t follow your review but are you saying Tom C. didn’t send a woman home after all? Perhaps he isn’t as biased as perceived.

    Reply
    • Karma Grant says

      November 8, 2012 at 12:46 pm

      Didn’t watch but rescanned the write up above and she said he cut a token female and her fave Anthony so the bias continues somewhat.

      Reply
  8. tamaratattles says

    November 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    They had some weird format. I missed the first couple of minutes when I assume the explained the process. Each of the four judges had like a little team of chefs like on the voice. Then they got rid of people from their teams right away after some stupid challenge like make an omelet or a bowl of soup. So those people despite being listed as on the season are not. It’s highly annoying. Why get people excited and then axe them before the season even starts? Plus Tom’s team was first but he didn’t eliminate his people until last.

    It was horribly confusing. I think even a non drunk person would have been annoyed! 🙂

    Reply
    • Kendra says

      November 8, 2012 at 1:26 pm

      It was confusing an I think unnecessary. But what you missed was that each contestant was assigned a chef they would cook for, the chef would then decide who to pass on. I found the best way to think of it was an interview. They were cooking for a spot on the show. Once they get to Seattle it is normal Top Chef. No teams playing for chefs ala The Voice.

      To me and my friends it was completely not needed and just a way to get one more episode out .

      Reply
  9. beejcee says

    November 8, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Ms. Tamara, please blog about the Bravo blog Kandi did regarding Kim’s visit to her new house. I am curious as to what other commenters on your blog think about what she blogged. I felt some kind of way when I read it; If you have already blogged about it I guess I missed it somehow.

    Reply
  10. tamaratattles says

    November 8, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    I thought about blogging it. Maybe later today. I’m trying to get to the bottom of another story atm. 🙂

    Reply
    • beejcee says

      November 8, 2012 at 1:52 pm

      Thanks.

      Reply
  11. tamaratattles says

    November 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    The Canookian just tweeted Art Smith complaining about him “being friends” with me. Really? #eyeroll

    Reply
    • Roberty Covarrubias says

      November 8, 2012 at 5:40 pm

      The show format was not confusing to me. Hugh is snarky and funny and it’s going to be a great season. Tom has blue steel laser beam eyes but I don’t see where you get the woman-hater thing. Bye now.

      Reply
  12. tamaratattles says

    November 8, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Don’t engage him. He is there with his “entertainment lawyer” being Hugh. I feel bad that Art is in the middle of this. 🙁

    Reply
  13. tamaratattles says

    November 8, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    BravoRatings‏@BravoRatings

    OUCH! @BravoTV’s #TopChef debuts to lowest ratings on record, as just 912,000 tune into the season 10 premiere Down 42%

    Reply
    • Tc says

      November 8, 2012 at 7:31 pm

      Seattle is wrong. It’s just ot appetizing. Yeah, great seafood. And..coffee? I not even like Seattle coffee actually. Top Chef needs to be NY. Period. Maybe New Orleans. These places have all types of communities. Texas was a bad choice too. How any ways did they fucking make steak?? They need to get back to their roots. And back to Gail and ditch Hughni.

      Reply
      • Kendra says

        November 9, 2012 at 11:58 am

        Not only the locations that are horrible but I really miss the old seasons. Where you had more diversity among the chefs. Line cooks, caterers, there were no executive chefs and Michelin Star winners. You had people who were hungry who needed this money to start their dream. I find myself not caring because there is no one to root for. There are no real underdogs. The season with Mike from what TGI Fridays, you wanted someone like that to win. Not these guys who are so pompous and annoying.

        But I will keep watching for now…

        Reply
      • Tc says

        November 10, 2012 at 12:15 pm

        I don’t mind the caliber of chef. I kind of like that. If you want amateurs there is Hell’s Kitchen or Chopped.

        Reply
  14. Tc says

    November 8, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Well…I watched.

    None of the chefs did it for me. But maybe they ill get more interesting. The red head needs to get that ginger out of her face and away from the food!!!

    Not a huge Hughnibrow fan. But he won’t be around a lot. Gladi didn’t have to see Padma for once. She knows nothing about food.

    Really have the United Nations on this cycle. Don’t like the South African or the Hawaiian or the Belgian. I old not have picked fat Anthony either. Standing there like a deer in headlights. One of the blackish guys will probably win this time.

    If you are not going to blog the show anymore, I might have to start my own recap blog.

    Reply
  15. FeedWatcher says

    November 14, 2012 at 11:16 am

    TC hired Hugh to be snarky, and snarky he is. He is a transplanted Canadian who has lived in Athens for years. I have met him and he is actually very nice, but let’s face it, I was a customer, not someone applying for a chef job.

    I found it funny that he said “look at me..I live on salad” during the episode last week. I recently ate at his restaurant in Atlanta and as a vegetarian could only find one dish to eat. I mentioned an appetizer salad that I ate there on a previous visit and the waiter said they don’t have that anymore and didn’t offer to ask about a replacement salad. I know that Hugh prides himself on seasonality, but damn you have to have a salad on the menu.

    I was hosting the table that night and was pissed to have to sign for a meal costing over $200 with wine while I could find very little to eat there myself.

    Everything was pork, pork pork.

    Reply

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