Why won’t you people watch this show! Marta has a sad. She can’t make the same amount of money marketing her body! She has it so hard, y’all! Why is Ana trying to teach Joanna to cook? She doesn’t have to cook, Anna. She has other um, marketable skills. Did Bravo make you do this? Yes. But still. It’s annoying. I hate these staged scenes. I get that Bravo has to explain things and wants a tidy scene but dear GAWD. I see why you guys don’t watch. Wait did Joanna just put on a nude male apron? Priceless.
I hate Karent and Aldolpho. Karent musters the energy to bring him a diet coke with no ice. Apparently this is her best trick in a relationship. I may or may not have mentioned mine on twitter the other night. I saw a few of you giggling about it. While mentioning things on twitter are public. /giggle. And while we are on that topic. This is my site, that I pay for that I don’t make a dime off of (yet) and I’ll “mix” my issues in whenever I feel like it. I’m just me. Like it or lump it as my Mama would say.
Lea raises a lot of money. Lea has no idea about education. NONE. I’m liking her less for now bothering to notice what her charity is about. If you want to help education go make a donation at Donorschoose.org. you don’t need a ballgown and some glue sticks really help. It was so beneficial to my kids. And my benefactor could buy and sell Lea several times. I’m just saying. He doesn’t need to eat rubber turkey and prance around in heels to contribute. But can I just say the wallpaper in his….. oh nevermind. He’s lovely. I think I just blew all hope of Lea loving me.
PAUSE! What is that around Lea’s neck? Dear GAWD I should be nicer to her just to get closer to that piece of art. I really do like you Lea but as a former teacher, you seem a bit condescending. You could make it all up to me by sending me that. It is insured? Were their body guards? That might in fact be the most fabulous piece of jewelry I have EVER SEEN. Someone screen cap it for me. I may be having an orgasm while drunk blogging. I’m talking about the black and white one in the talking head. Not the other one. She can keep that.
Wait. ignore all that. TWO THOUSAND CARATS OF EMERALDS? I believe we have a winner. Okay maybe I just watch for the jewelry. And that grand moment when Audriana smacks the shit out of Joanna. Let’s move on.
Karent is obnoxious. If you had to create an unlikeable character for a reality show it would be her. No one cares. Can we KEEES? This schmarmy crap doesn’t play in the US. We don’t know who you are and we think you are ridiculous. Take it back to where you came from. To us you just seem to be a likely carrier of diseases.
Lisa is a dog groomer. Can we get to the part where Audriana smacks the shit out of Joanna? PLEASE?
I am not sure I can keep watching, have an email to send and a debate to watch. Tell me.