In tonight’s episode of Delusional Danielle, Danielle told Shane she is a nurse not a kindergarten teacher. She tells him that she has three degrees, went to two colleges at the same time and dropped out of medical school for Big Brother. She says she feels bad because she didn’t tell her parents and they are going to be out a lot of money. She also tells Shane that she is a charge nurse (remember, she’s not even a real nurse, she’s an LPN in a nursing home). She also tells him she is a trauma nurse. Shane asks what the worse thing she has ever seen was and she says a woman with a potato stuffed up her vagina that had sprouted. Then she says she works with geriatric patients. She says she has 60 patients by herself. This is getting close to the truth. She works the overnight shift at an assisted living facility. Shane asks her if she changes diapers. She says no. Of course she does, she works in an assisted living facility. That’s the sort of assistance she provides. She gives baths and changes diapers and bed sheets. She tells Shane she gives lots of shots.
Dani starts fishing for reassurance that he is not mad at her for lying to him. Shane is unfortunately not smart enough to figure out that she still is lying or that you don’t have time to work in medical school. Or that geriatric patients don’t shove potatoes up their vagina. Or that everything she says is complete bullshit for no reason at all. Oh but wait, there is a reason. She is trying to explain to Shane that as a trauma charge nurse she can move anywhere and get a job and can travel all she wants. If Shane agreed to the happily-ever-after she wants how exactly would she explain that she really empties bedpans in assisted living facilities? Does she not think he would find out rather quickly? I mean since she is unaware of the fact that her lies are being laughed at and rehashed all over the Internet?
Soon they tire of this conversation and the two intellectual giants discuss the fact that Dan would lose to anyone in a final two. Danielle, and sometimes Shane, have made the live feeds this season with this kind of talk.