In general, I don’t read the Bravo blogs. Mostly this is because so many are written by ghost writers. Some of course are not, Carole Radziwill’s blog, for example, is excellent because she is a writer by trade and an excellent one at that. Her blogs express exactly what she is thinking with a humorous slant. Caroline Manzo is another whose blog seems to be written by her. But for the less educated housewife, ghost writers are used. This of course skews the message and leaves me wondering how much of what is said was really said by the housewife whose name is attached to the words. This is never more of an issue than when it comes to Teresa Giudice. Teresa has a great ghost writer for her blogs; I would not be surprised if her ghostwriter is the same one that writes Marlo Hampton’s blogs on her website. But how often does Teresa actually talk to her ghostwriter? How much input does Teresa have on what goes up on the Bravo site with her name on it? I’ve never wondered about that more than this week when a reader asked me for thoughts on Teresa’s latest blog. Let’s take a look at what “Teresa” had to say.
From the Ghostwriter: From flipping a table to giving birth to going through bankruptcy to a million other things, I’ve done a lot and seen a lot from my family and friends on camera over the last few years. I thought nothing could surprise me anymore. And then I got the call.
A magazine called me two weeks ago to ask me about my reaction to the new episode they just received. I hadn’t seen it, so I had no idea what they were talking about. Once I got a copy and watched it, I was sick. I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. It has not been a good couple of weeks.
Of course I begged Bravo not to air it, but when you sign up for a TV show, you sign up to show everything, warts and all. The good and the bad. Kind of like that other promise: for better or for worse. Welcome to the “worse.”
Teresa: Okay, what am I supposed to do now? Joe is such an asshole. I got like frontsided by this whole thing. In Touch called me and I have this contract with them so I just sort of winged it and told them that if he did it again I might think about maybe leaving him. Then I told them I had to go cook because they think I am a cooker. What should we say this week? Wait, I know, did you ever watch that show the Facts of Life? Let’s make it like that. (sings) You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life.
Ghostwriter: I can’t make any excuses for what Joe said to me. He doesn’t talk like that to me at home, he’s never called me that name before, and he doesn’t remember saying it. But it’s not right. It hurt my feelings, and it was horrible to watch played out on national TV.
Why did he say it? I have no idea. I do know we were in the wine capital of America drinking heavily… Alcohol + camera = not a good idea. But believe me, if he talked to me like that regularly, we would not be together. I don’t know why the camera (and alcohol) brings out the worst in him… it just does. Imagine being filmed all the time during the most stressful parts of your life. Last year was not an easy year for either of us for a lot of reasons: finances, family, people we thought were our friends…
We were on an 8-day trip in close quarters with people Joe didn’t really want to be with. Eight days of nonstop filming is a long, long time. He did have problems with his work back home, and we left our kids behind in a hurricane. I guess it made for the perfect storm in more ways than one. But no matter what the circumstances were, it’s not OK that he talked to me like that. It’s not OK for our relationship, it’s not OK as an example for our daughters, it’s not how I want to be spoken to or will be spoken to by anyone.
Teresa: I mean whatever, he was drunk. There were all kinds of ingrediences in that wine they have out there. Joe was drinking a lot because he doesn’t like any of those people. He felt like a hamster on a cruise ship! What? Oh the girls? They’re used to it. It’s no big deal. Um, sure okay not a good role model that sounds good.
Ghostwriter: Joe does feel terrible, and he’s apologized to me and all of our friends. We all have a bad side, but not all of us are lucky enough to have it broadcast around the world. Being on TV is like being in front of the worst mirror ever sometimes. Hopefully you learn from it and try to be a better person. And we’re both trying. I don’t think anyone on TV doesn’t watch themselves and cringe at what they thought would be a funny joke at the time that just comes out sounding terrible or awkward. I know I do. But you also can’t over analyze it or you’ll go crazy or start faking your way through everything. I would rather be imperfect than fake. Or crazy for that matter. But, I’m not going to lie, it does hurt.
Teresa: Joe doesn’t see the big deal really. He’s moved on. Our friends? Well we don’t have many friends now because everyone is jealous of me and tries to copy me. I say stupid stuff on TV all the time. People still watch the show. Like, nobody’s perfect. Joe isn’t that good with the lines. He just says stuff. Just say we’re moving on. It’s time for a pair of clean skates. Ya know?
Ghostwriter: My husband disrespecting me on camera happened a year ago, but I just found out about it, and I’m trying to process it. I seem to always be the last to find out things, huh? People’s pasts keep coming out and they admit their dirty deeds to me, like my own family contacting Danielle to try and “take me down,” but I only find out about it months or years later. They say they’re sorry, they’re not that person now, and what can I do? I forgive them. I forgave my brother and Melissa, and I can forgive Joe. But I’m not stupid. It does make me wary, it does make it hard to trust the people I love.
But that’s how it is in grown-up life. It’s not a fairy tale. Everyone I know has their own share of heartbreak. And to be honest, guys in Jersey aren’t the most refined in the world. I look around me and I see other guys treating their women the same as Joe treated me and worse. I don’t like it; I don’t think any woman does. It’s weird that we put up with it when we’re so strong and smart in so many other ways… But I’m sure it’s the same with guys in a lot of places.
Teresa: I’m not stupid. Be sure to say that. I’m not stupid. I’m not. And lots of guys are worse than Joe. Lots. What’s that saying? The one about crosses? Everyone has their own cross to wear. That is why Italian women wear lots of crosses. Joe has given me a lot of crosses. I have a lot of crosses to wear. And I pray a lot. Say that. And I’m not stupid.
Ghostwriter: They’re different animals. They are animals. They think it’s funny to show everyone their buttholes. Women aren’t like this. We have our own kind of ugly that men don’t understand. But we have to work it out and live together, don’t we? I don’t really want a guy that acts like a woman. I’d rather not have Joe talk to me like a perfect gentlemen and go to his mistress’ apartment every night either.
So I guess you have to decide what you can take and what will break you. I’m pretty strong and I have to be: I’m the mom of four little girls. The truth is Joe and I are happy together now. He’s a great dad and a great husband and we still really like each other. He’s not perfect, I’m not perfect, but you put up with each other’s faults for the good of the whole. Should I break up my family and leave him because he called me an ugly name a year ago? My pride wants to of course, but I don’t think that’s the right or responsible thing to do. People don’t stay married for decades without bumps in the road. So this is a pretty big bump, but I’m hanging on. Thank you all for hanging on with me!
Teresa: Italian guys from Jersey are very manly. You know, because they talk about their buttholes and like to compare penis sizes with other guys when we all get together. And they punch each other’s junk and stuff. That’s just how guys are here. Sure they have mistresses, madams or whatever they are called sometimes. But probably not Joe. I mean if he had a madam he would probably be nice to me so I wouldn’t suspect it you know? I think it is all double reverse philosophy or whatever you call it. So when he called me a cunt a year ago, it was like his way of showing people he is not cheating if you know what I mean. He’s got like, morals you know? Things are great with us now. Be sure to say that. Everything is great. I’m just gonna keep on smiling and selling my books and working on my looks. It’s like the song. (sings) When the books are what you’re there about, and looks are what you care about, the time is right… to learn the facts of life.