The holidays are here, and nothing says spending the holidays with family like getting drunk on fancier beverages. Out of concern for your holiday experience, I am going to give you the lowdown on sparkling wines. First, let’s talk about Nene’s new label, Miss Moscato. Remember on the RHOA premiere when Nene and Sheree met up to brawl at The Grape in Atlantic Station? Nene looked around and asked the waiter for some “sweet wine” and might as well have just asked if they had any Mad Dog 2020. Then she asked the waiter to bring a glass of “whatever this is” for Sheree. Six months later she has her own wine label! I can see her working on this project now asking the vintners “what y’all got that tastes like purple drank and has bubbles ?” . And that gentle readers is how Miss Moscato was born.
Did y’all ever get your hands on a bottle of Asti Spumante when you were a kid and drink it out behind the barn with your buddies while pretending to smoke menthol cigarettes? Yeah well, me neither, but I did watch some Martini and Rossi Asti Spumante commercials way back when. For the uninitiated, Asti Spumante tastes sort of like when you take your Grandma’s Youth Dew perfume and pour it into a glass with some grape Nehi and mix it all up. Nene has been saying she plans to market her wines to airlines which is great because there will be a sick bag right there for you when you try it. What is it with Nene’s fascination with flying and selling pizza in airports? Did she never fly anywhere before the RHOA? I’m guessing not.
Please read after the jump for suggestions on surviving your forced family fun this season.
My suggestion for surviving the holidays is to drink heavily. If you want to try some good American bubbly, Schramsberg Mirabelle Brut, from northern California is some good stuff. It will set you back just over twenty bucks a bottle, but that is pretty much the minimum for a decent bottle of fizzy wine made in the USA if you want it to be drinkable and come with a cork and stuff.
If that is too rich for you blood, look in the foreign wine sections. Try some Prosecco,the Italian second cousin to champagne. The Italians don’t really like to wait around for the French champagne making process so they skip some steps. Or something. I dunno. All I know is that you don’t age Prosecco, you are supposed to drink it “young”. So pop the cork as soon as you get it chilled and if you don’t like the taste or lack thereof, poor it in an empty tea pitcher, drop in a can of peaches in heavy syrup, stir, chill and drink it in a fancy glass and call it a Bellini.
If you’d rather have your grapes from Spain, then Freixenet NV Cordon Brut is a best seller in the cheap range. Buy your bottle somewhere that sells a lot of cava wines though because if it didn’t just get to the states it’s probably already getting a little funky. If you find yourself with a bottle that isn’t to your liking mix it with OJ and have mimosas. Mimosas are not just for breakfast anymore.
What are your plans for the holidays? What will your beverage of choice be? Leave me a comment and follow me on twitter [email protected] when you sober up enough to click the mouse. Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving to you, Tamara. Thanks for the laughs and the wine lessons. Perhaps my girl NeNe will read this and take a hint. Is every housewive going to have her own line of wines or alcohol? Bethany, Ramoner, Lisa Vanderpump and now NeNe? Kim Richards probably needs to introduce one. At least she has lots of experience.
I am going to need you around Easter cause thats my holiday responsibility. I may also need you to come to the liquor store for me….