Tamra looks like she is keeping up with her workouts and possibly even the severe diet as she is very small and she has lost weight in her face.
Andy plays the clip of Vicki sobbing on the ride home from the yacht party and Tamra says it is heart breaking, but that Vicki didn’t do the right thing. And she never apologized to anyone even though after the reunion she was tweeting everyone that she did. There was a lack of audio for a good bit and I am not sure if she was cussing or if my DVR screwed up again.
Andy says the last time he saw her was at his AC2 tour in Orange County and Alexis was seated right in front of her. Alexis had sent in a long letter about Tamra’s sudden
storyline conversion to Christianity. He asks how that went for her. She said that it actually went well and Alexis said she didn’t intend to come across as mean and she is really happy for her.
Time to take a look at last night’s Orange County. Let’s hope it is a little bit lighter than the mess we saw on Southern Charm last night. We left off with Vicki selecting Heather as the first stop on her apology tour.
Vicki didn’t really practice enough for this conversation. She needed to walk into this knowing what, if anything, she was willing to apologize for and stick to her story. She’s all over the place. She thought that “please forgive me” was going to be sufficient. Heather said she’d be happy to forgive Vicki if she knew what she was asking to be forgiven for.
Back on the interior, Jeana is encouraging the others to forgive Vicki. It’s a war on two fronts. And she is not making and forward motion. So she moves on to crying for our benefit to try to get us to forgive her.
Why is there a committee to vote on whether a fourth grader is too sick for school?
Kelly calls Vicki an invites her to lunch. Can someone take away Kelly’s black brow pencil that looks gray and give her a nice sable brown one? Thanks.
Before we begin this ridiculous fiasco, I had to remind myself that Landon was actually a cast member this season. She just seems like the little annoying gnat trying to get air time through any means possible. And yet there she was on the cast photo I just looked up in that unfortunate dress with the giant black inkspot dangerously near her vagina. I suppose I just overlooked her like everyone else.
It’s hot and this is going to be long so I am just going to recap the situation regarding Kathryn and Thomas and the giant cunt. Can we just call her the giant cunt the whole recap? Okay fine. I don’t let y’all do that so I won’t either, it’s not polite. But I can stop any of us from thinking it.
Don’t Miss All The Southern Charm Recaps Here!
Andy asks if anyone thinks the show portrays thems unfairly. This is a trick question. Say yes and you are criticizing production. Say no and then later you can’t complain that you look like a conniving bitch. Kathryn says she has had two babies on the show and that make editing a bit more of an issue with her.
Shep says that he his Palace Motel bar should reopen next month after the fire last January . And his new bar, Commador is open and doing well. Then discussion about him being 36 and still picking up chicks in the bar every night. Shep and Kathryn admit to having a friendly hookup over a bottle of wine on the battery when she was 21. She asks, “What were you doing when you were 21?” I well when I was 19 I was getting drunk at the Wind of Change next to the Windjammer on IOP and waiting to leave with my first love.
Edited because Twitter reminded me Cameran was on The Real World which reminded me that Landon was playing the girl to the right of Whitney Cummings on The Hills. That was probably the high point of her nasty existence, last year she was a homeless girl living on someone’s docked dingy, right?
Tonight is the Southern Charm reunion and Kathryn drops that major bomb that she has been holding back. As we know, Kathryn and Thomas have a very volatile relationship that was very off and on. She calls Landon out on something that made me say,” Holy Shit! I thought that sort of thing only happened to me!” Who is ready for a Tamara Tattles overshare?
Okay, I was in a kind of sort of relationship for several years. It was one of those really bad relationships that you know will not end in a happily ever after but the um.. let’s just see we were quite compatible in one area. Most of the time though we literally wanted to kill each other in the Leanne Locken psychotic murderous way.
But there were these intermittent good stretches that were really, really good and everything was perfect for weeks or months at a time. We went on a few trips together that generally went very well. Then things would implode and we would each see other people. At one point, we planned to go on a trip to NYC for Christmas. I picked the hotel and the plays and our basic lists of things to do. And then he was suddenly a dick. A few weeks later he asked me to dinner to meet someone else that he was in a relationship with. And yes, this was odd. There were a lot of nontraditional component of out relationship. The level of ridiculousness that each of up put up was extreme. Like, let’s all get some therapy extreme. So I’m down with dinner and this other woman that he was involved with.
EDITED: The video did not autostart! YAY!
So Mike, why did you lie? I wasn’t lying. I was having marital problems between me and my wife (that is usually where marital problems occur) an I was trying to keep it under wraps but being on reality TV you don’t really have that freedom. You weren’t having marital problems just falling from the sky. You were cheating on a woman who had changed her religion and immersed herself in two foreign cultures to be exactly the wife you wanted. You wanted to keep it under wraps because you were embarrassed that you got caught and embarrassed to families. My DVR has stopped on Mike’s face and the look he is giving Andy is terrifying.
Mike tries to justify himself further saying that he didn’t believe the rumors that he heard but Jessica did. He heard Jessica wanted to leave earlier than she did. OF COURSE SHE DID. He has heard rumors that he is gay! Sandra Bernhard says, “well you do have a gay brow.”
So was it one affair with one person? Or multiple affairs? Clearly, Andy knows the answer to this, but Mike continues to deny and lie. He says it was one affair that started before he was engaged ( I wonder which one he is claiming? The one that wrote the book?) and she found out about it after she got married. My sources say that Jessica found out about many of the girls he cheated with throughout their relationship and she naively thought once they were married he would stop. He did not. Mike gives off every singly body language signal of lying in the world. He should be used in CIA training. Trainees, today we are going to look at the basic body language signals that someone is lying using this film from WWHL that encapsulates them all I a very blatant fashion… He eyes are also really messed up.
Sandra is disgusted by the entire show. It’s hysterical.
MJ and Tommy Selfie from upcoming Belize trip.
We are back in Belize, where the Shahs Resort by Bravo is apparently super far inland. Who goes to Belize without going to the beach? Yes, San Ignacio is pretty much on the border of Guatemala.
I am also appalled not just by Shervin’s aggressive behavior toward GG, but by the fact that none of the other men told him to back off. I guess when the other men are Mike and Reva that will not happen. But isn’t that Nima guy her cousin? Yes, yes he is.
The next morning, GG and Shervin get into it again. GG’s eyes are super dark. She has on eye shadow but is that eye shadow underneath too? Shervin’s confessionals show him saying he is trying to be a good friend to GG by telling her to cut back on her smoking and drinking since she is suffering from RA. First of all, attacking her and screaming at her and acting like Reza’s little do boy is not the way to do that. He cannot be that stupid. He knows his script and he has no problem following it. Because, asshole. This is the guy that stood up for Mike on WWHL by lying and saying he didn’t cheat on Jessica. He didn’t start a fight with Mike about his poor decisions. Somehow they manage to hug it out. For now.