Leah Remini: It’s All Relative

Its All Relative Family

I am super late with this recap, but I’ve been busy and sick. I’ve felt like crap for days and finally diagnosed myself with Fresh Ripe Cherry Overdose FRCO. Shut up! I looked on the Internet and it’s a thing. I am overly cranky.  I also may have just eaten a dog quesadilla. I feel like I am about to give birth to Rosemary’s baby. So this show better bring the funny, or there will be hell to pay.

On this episode, Leah’s mother wants a tramp stamp. My first reaction was I wonder how much money  Leah offered her mother to get a tramp stamp. Leah’s mom says she has no problem with it being called a tramp stamp because she was a tramp when she was young. You go, Leah’s mom!  It’s going down. The 64-year-old had a vision for her tattoo during one of her hot flashes. Wait, what? This shit is still going to be happening when I am 64? I thought my doctor said the sentence was 8-10 years? Why isn’t this bitch fat? 64 and still having hot flashes? Kill me now.

The tattoo is huge. It is the head of a jaguar with a woman carrying a jug of water on top. Because, she likes jaguars and she was born under the sign of Aquarius. The head of the woman is between the eyes of the jaguar head. Continue reading

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Bravolebrities Converge on Las Vegas! Wanna Know Why They Are There?

Vicki Rides the high roller overlooking Vegas!

Vicki Rides the high roller overlooking Vegas!

What happened in Vegas, almost stayed in Vegas. Most of it is still a mystery, but I do have some tea.  First of all, Kenya Moore was there with Kyle Richards, Vicki Gunvalson, Melissa Gorga  for an event at Caesar’s Place.  It appears that the housewives competed in several events with a high roller from the casino as a partner.  In one event, “runway walking” Kenya takes an unexpected bobble and makes it all seem like part of the performance. Her impressive recovery won that round for her team. See the video at end of post. But read on for lots of other Vegas tea! Continue reading

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Filed under Jill Zarin, Joe Gorga, Kenya Moore, Kyle Richards, Mauricio Umansky, Melissa Gorga, Shannon Beador, Vicki Gunvalson

Watch What Happens Live! With Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pierri

WWHL Kathy and Rosie

 

First of all, Andy tweeted tonight that we should be patient for Teresa’s WWHL appearance, so hopefully everyone has cooled down.  With Rosie on, there is always the possibility she will say something inappropriate!  As usual, I will ignore most everything the non-Bravolebrity has to say because no one cares.

First off, they discuss the ceramic shoe wine bottle holder gift that Nicole got for Christmas. No Bueno. OH, I just realized this person is not from Game of Thrones, but from that pageant show on Bravo, Game of Crowns that I have already forgotten about. Now I have my 9-10 time slot on Sunday to watch Unforgettable on CBS and Reckless right after at 10. Even though I DVR them to watch whenever I can after I recap Big Brother.  Anyway. I don’t care about her either.

Also, Andy has begun to implement the whole, “first timers to the show get the first chair” rule. I think this is utterly ridiculous and he just started it because we were all on to the original seating method of who is the biggest deal to Bravo, or whoever likes best. That will still be in effect on nights with no virgins. Continue reading

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Filed under Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Kathy Wakile, Recap, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL

Big Brother Sunday Night Show: These Girls Will Not Be Replacing Vanna White

Photochop by UNC David

Photochop by UNC David

First all, shout out to Dallasmom for her very helpful updates on the Big Brother threads. I really appreciate them. I have so much going on I am not watching as much of the feeds as I would like to!  On to tonight’s show!

We are back at the HOH challenge where teams of two chosen by Big Brother are working to get a dozen eggs worked through a chicken maze to be come this week’s battling heads of household. Lots of eggs dropping. Lots of diary rooms where everyone says they have to win.  Donnie is pissed that Derrick is coaching Frankie and Cody. He feels like Team America should be the most important alliance.  Lots of egg puns about how much Victoria sucks eggs at every challenge. Britanny and Jocasta came in so close which means the boys will be sure to put them up. Amber and Zach move into second behind Frankie and Cody. This means Amber will be a target again. Cody and Frankie win!

Derrick says as far as he is concerned the bomb squad is over, but they will still work together as long as possible to keep their numbers.  Brittany and Donny eat ice cream together in the bee hive and worry that they are both going up. Donny says that Britanny needs to smile and not let them see her upset. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Oh Christmas Tre!

RHONJ Christmas tre joe

 

It’s Christmastime in New Jersey! I love a good Christmas episode! YAY!  We start at Tre’s house where Tre and her family are setting up the family tree. Tre says it is great to stay home this year for Christmas and be out of the public eye. Um, Tre, the public doesn’t pay you any attention during Christmas, unless you are putting your entire Christmas drama on TV!  With all of the ornaments breaking, I’ll be shocked if any make it to the tree. Especially because the parents are drinking Fabellini while Teresa tries to make out with a disinterested Joe.  Tre tells Joe that people were talking about her at the “harvest party.”  Joe says until they get their day in court to “prove themselves not guilty,” they can have any opinion they want because they know who they are. By the way, the words “not guilty” were frankenbite edits.

Joe and Melissa are putting up their Christmas tree too. And Melissa is saying crazy things in her talking head just like Tre.  Melissa informs us that they sold their Montville home and are “shacking it up in a rental.” While that last part is true,  after numerous issues with their rent to buy tenant, the deal has fallen through and Joe and Melissa claim they now want to move back to Montville.  Antonia screams she does not like this small disgusting house!  It looks to be at least 4,000 square feet on a couple of snowy acres. Poor things, their tree is too small for their little rental house. How will they cope?

The twins are at their parents to put up their tree. The twins’ mother is named Santa. For real. The twins’ father goes on some wine-fueled speech about Italian tradition as the family decorates their tree. Amber’s kids are making the most disgusting gingerbread house ever. But they seem to be having fun!  In spite of Amber, who is odd. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Joe Giudice, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Here is Why Teresa Won’t Be On WWHL

Joe and Tre RHONJ

Is it me or are we in hot water? Just keep smiling, Joe!

I have been doing some digging with some help of my tweeps and have figured out why Teresa is not going to be on WWHL this Sunday as planned.  Basically, Teresa has been a real trooper doing promos for the premiere despite the added trauma of Joe’s dad dying. Clearly, she has a lot to deal with at the moment.

One of her publicity events was the photoshoot and interview with the New York Post. I devoted an entire post to the NYP story that discussed some diva like behaviors coming from Teresa. In retrospect, Teresa being unprofessional at an event is out of character for her.  It could have just been all the stress she is under, but I am finding out now that Teresa was very upset with the interviewer and the photographer on that shoot. She felt like the interviewer had an agenda, which of course he did. Teresa also expected her Bravo handler to have her back and stick up for her and that did not happen. Continue reading

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RHONJ Blog Round-Up! Nicole Said What????

 

Why Did I Not Post About Last Night's RHONJ? Let Me Count the Reasons...Okay, I started this blog days ago and then saw something shiny and forgot all about it. Now I am dying for you guys to finish reading it so that you can explain Nicole’s comment to me!

Teresa’s blog focused on her family, and all of the people who were in the pretty picture:

My kids always make things brighter no matter what though. I’m glad you got to see more of them just hanging out, cooking breakfast, doing homework, twerking…you know all the normal things kids do… Gabriella is growing up so fast and is such a good, responsible older sister. I love when she helps Milania with her homework. Milania is Milania. Yes, she is definitely funnier than me! She’s also a little caretaker and such a snuggler! Audriana is almost 5! Can you believe it? She wants to do everything her big sisters are doing, especially go to school. She goes to preschool and loves it, but she can’t wait for kindergarten. And Gia, my oldest, is a teenager now! She is every bit of a teen: taller, beautiful, and super sensitive and emotional. She has such a big heart and so much love for everyone.

Yep! Everything is perfectly normal!  I am gonna take a guess that the reason we rarely see Audriana is she was born into the chaos. By the time she was aware of her surroundings, Tre and Joe were already aware the end was near. Joe was allegedly cheating a lot and the home was anything but happy.

Amber’s Blog ended up needing its own post here. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Gia Giudice, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

American Horror Story: Freakshow

ahs chairs

See those chairs? These chairs are for the cast of American Horror Story: Freakshow which is filming right now in New Orleans.  I’m pretty sure I am already out, but we shall see if our resident expert UF sucks me into this season. Just the pictures I have been looking at are giving me nightmares.  I just wanted to give you guys a heads up (or two) on filming beginning.

Oh and a little tea. Neil Patrick Harris has been trying to get Ryan Murphy’s attention for quite some time to ask for a part on the show.  See the tweets below to find out how Ryan responded.  Sadly, NPH is a bit busy these days starring in Hedwig and the Angry Inch on Broadway. He’s expected to finish his run on August 17th. Not sure that gives him much time to film. Perhaps he will be the Stevie Nicks of this season?  Also, Sarah Paulson is playing two roles in the upcoming series. Sort of. Click through for some pictures… Continue reading

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Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars: Fate Comes Knocking

marriage_boot_reality1-592x330It’s time for the penultimate episode of this ridiculousness. Roger caved and went with Jenni to her event. Tanisha gets a phone call from her manager saying she got a part. She is screaming and crying and Clive asks her what is going on. She walks right past him and says nothing. So this whole communication workshop stuff is going well. She goes out to the kitchen to tell everyone the good news. These phone calls with Tanisha give me the distinct impression there is no one on the other end of the phone.  First she says she auditioned for something and they said she is “pretty much hired.”  Then she tells the group she auditioned for a lot of stuff and got it all. Never once did she say what this role, or all of the roles are. It’s all fake.

Speaking of fake, Gretchen and Slade bicker in bed. Slade is emotionally exhausted.

The stupid exercise of the week is called Release Me.  They are supposed to think of the person for whom they have the most resentment. Slade says his resentment is toward God. He is angry that God let his son have brain cancer. He gives a crappy performance of crying and whining.

Tanisha is up next. Her resentment is her “caretaker” that abused her as a child. Tanisha sort of freaks out. She wants to hit the girl pretending to be the caretaker. She actually asks Clive for support!  Jim steps in as the caretaker in case Tanisha does decide to knock a bitch out. Jim provokes Tanisha to hit her. Tanisha is melting down. Jim asks who is forgiveness for and the female therapist whispers, “Yooooou, it’s for you sweetie…” in the most hysterical way possible I don’t see how Gretchen or someone did not just bust out laughing. Soap opera music swells. Tanisha forgives! Continue reading

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Teresa Giudice WIll NOT Appear on WWHL This Sunday!!!

Andy Cohen

Remember when I said that Teresa would be on WHHL on Sunday just yesterday?  Well she won’t. I suppose the good news is that OUR NATIONAL TREASURE Juliet Angus will be on in place of some guy next Monday.

But seriously… What happened to Tre to make her cancel her appearance???? Let the guessing begin. It took TWO FOH to replace her. Have there ever been three guests on a regular show before? WTF is going on? Continue reading

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Leann & Eddie Recap: The Drinking Word is Brandi

Leann and Eddie

I already hate it. They are just introducing each other and it already sucks. In their montage of taboid covers they make sure to include one with BRANDI CHEATED FIRST! on the cover. We start by going to the premiere of Eddie’s movie, Best Man Holiday. But no before Eddie takes a jab at Brandi for saying he does not work. That two jabs in the first two minutes. Wait it looks like two more jabs in the first two minutes. They are responding to gossip about a $50 dollar divorce and Eddie reaching out to Brandi for emotional support. Really? Eddie reaching out to Hank Baskett’s transvestite lover would be more believable. Okay we are up to seven jabs. Leann says that Brandi is just a mouthpiece to the media spreading lies. Leann is pissed that Eddie would not comment  And that entire conversation in the car was filmed after the fact to make it look like they planned the Eddie denies Luann tongue on the red carpet “story.”  Actually that tabloid story looks completely made up as well. WTF?

Luann’s contract is finally over. She was stuck in some sort of ridiculous 20 year contract from childhood.

This is the longest half an hour of my life. Continue reading

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Don’t Be Tardy Is Back! Afterbirth: It’s What’s For Dinner!

It's the twins!

It’s the twins!

I really hate half hour shows, they fuck up the schedule for everything. So I am just now getting to the Don’t Be Tardy Season premiere.  We finally get to see Kim and Kroy living in their new house and it is beautiful. It’s time for Kim to head to the hospital and spit out two more babies. That’s a total of 6 with four in diapers and two teenagers. Who does that to themselves voluntarily?

Sweetie is back!!!

The house is decked out to the nines. It’s 17,000 square feet, seven bedroom and ELEVEN BATHROOMS. Who the hell wants eleven bathrooms? There are fifty some odd security cameras in the house. This place is balling!

Kory’s ankle injury is doubly  problematic because he’s basically another human who needs waiting on in that house. Kim gained 50 pounds with her twin pregnancy. Baby B is breech. It really doesn’t matter because I think Kim was going to do a C-section anyway.  Well, I am wrong. Kim has never had a C-section. Kroy says the babies are smaller than the other ones and they didn’t get stuck. It seems like the doctor didn’t make clear the real threat which is that the cord could get wrapped about baby b’s neck and strangle him to death. Kroy says God did not intend for babies to come out of belly buttons. They opt to try delivery the regular way. Continue reading

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Filed under Brielle Zolciak, Don't Be Tardy For the Wedding, Kim Zolciak's House, Kroy Biermann, Tardy for the Party