Wow, somehow they got everything back on time for WWHL at eleven. This should be a good one.
Okay we are five minutes in and I haven’t typed anything. It usually takes me twenty minutes to recap the first seven minutes. I’m sort of at a loss for words. In general, Andy is being super nice to Sonja and talking about how it was great to run into her with her daughter in the Hamptons over the weekend. But he seems to be trying to set up a New York, New Jersey rivalry here. Teresa has learned not to say she has never met the other housewife before, because she always has, so she says she has probably run across Sonia at a Bravo event. As usual, Sonia points out that she has met Teresa several times.
The gif of the night, and the clips that Andy shows are all very negative toward Teresa and then he asks her why she was so upset with Jac, was it calling her brother or the bankruptcy fraud. Teresa says that the second one was uncalled for. I cannot comprehend how someone who held up an entire filming season because they were in prison for bankruptcy fraud would expect to film and have no one mention the crimes she committed.
We see a clip from the next RHONY where Bethenny, Ramona and Sonja continue their obsession with Tom. Sonia says that she slept with Tom just before Thanksgiving. Andy says that Sonja gives new meaning to the term, “Thanksgiving spread” because Andy feels like that is an appropriate thing to say to a woman on national TV.
Andy is wearing a Ralph Lauren Olympic team jacket that glows in the dark. Interesting. I think I like him better with no tie at all because I am so distracted by his wonky ties each and every night.
Jules has a new haircut and has cut off more than a foot of hair it seems. She looks great. Her face looks fuller as well.
Andy wants to start by talking about Jules failed marriage. Jules and Michael still technically live together. He still has his stuff there. Jules would only state that they are divorcing and she did know the woman he is sleeping with. Jules said she didn’t suspect a thing. Bethenny has claimed that Jules knew she was getting a divorce before she even started filming. Jules says Bethenny claims to know this because they share a mutual friend. The thing is, she and Bethenny have no mutual friends and that what Bethenny said is not true. Both Dorinda and Jules say that Bethenny thinks she has a mutual friend with everyone and she thinks she knows everything.
So of course I go to Bethenny’s twitter and she is insulting Dorinda and Jules on her twitter. She also retweeted that a blind gossip site posted about Tom’s makeout sesh right when the engagement went public. That is probably Bethenny’s “mutual friend” source for the Tom story.
Why is Carol on this episode? Adam is there as the bartender. I just can’t. It’s the mutual admiration society between Carole and MJ. Andy starts right off making fun of Luann in a montage called, Gloating While Boating. I cannot for the life of me understand why everyone is hating on Luann for being happy about her engagement to Tom. What the fuck is wrong with people? She is in love and happy! Does everyone have such a stick up their asses that they can’t be happy for her? Carole was uncharacteristically happy for Luann. FINALLY.
MJ goes in on Asa saying there is not a shred of truth to her accusations that she was not supportive of her businesses. Mercedeh say she will never get her friendship back and she has already “pandered for it” off camera. She says Asa got offended by an backhanded compliment from her mother on WWHL. MJ basically hates GG and Asa at this point. So sad.
Did Carole just say that Luann is famous for having sex in a restaurant bathroom? What is that about?
MJ has a bigger ring that is two carats now. Really? Do people define their relationship by the size of a ring? What is Tommy’s job other than Shahs? He seems like an average joe.
I had to take a break before blogging this episode. If it were not for Dolores I probably would have just deleted it from my VCR. I cannot STAND Reza. I really can’t. And Andy isn’t much better. We all know that Dolores is on the show tonight just so that Frankie can be the bartender. From the moment we all saw Frankie, we knew that Andy would be obsessed with him. Frankie is not even old enough to vote, let alone drink.
Andy says Vida will be on the reunion and it is going to be “scorched earth.” He’s giddy at the demise of the mother daughter relationship.
I totally had no idea Sharknado was on. I am taping a rerun now but it’s over an hour in already I think. I will have to catch the first part on demand and then flip over so I can skip the commercials. It actually looked kind of good.
Dolores said she and Teresa had lunch the day before she went to prison and Teresa didn’t mention it. She said she felt like Teresa didn’t think it was really going to happen. Oh, but it did.
I literally feeling like my brain is decaying. I’m serious. My brain feels heavy in my skull, I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open and my eyes are blurry. I think between the heat and all the serious decisions I’ve had to make lately, I have fried and possibly pickled my brain. But I shall try to recap this nonsense as best I can.
Heather can sing? Apparently so. She sang the national anthem at the Angels game recently.
Right away Andy plays the clip of Vicki calling Brooks. I don’t get the big mystery here. She is being ostracized by the group for a situation he is ultimately responsible for, and she loved him even though he was horrible to her. She left a party feeling alone, and she drunk dialed. Am I the only one who has ever drunk dialed the last person on earth I’d ever want to see sober? I guarantee you before Vicki even open her eyes the next day her first thought was “Please tell me I didn’t really call him.”
Next week Shannon and Kelly get together to
work things out argue some more. Shannon denies setting Kelly up with the two bitches at her party. She claims one of the women was instrumental in “helping Heather and her with their HOA.” The problem they had with their HOA was that everyone hates them for filming in the neighborhood. It could not be anymore obvious that those two were there to attack Kelly.
This is really stupid and I can’t believe I am going to watch this, but I thought y’all might like a place to comment. Did I mention how dumb this is?
Gia is the Miss Bravo. Jenni Pulos hosts the west coast event with all the west coast Bravolebs.
Don’t Call It A Comeback Award
Craig Conover, Teresa Giudice, Stassi Schroeder, Sheree Whitfiel or Satan. The winner was Satan. Or the Felon. It might have been the Felon by Bravo.
Remember this walk off video of the felon? Their next question was going to be about Heather Dubrow. Andy brings this up and Teresa blows it off. Anyone know what Heather said?
The Bravo Bro Award
James Kennedy, Pol Pot, Ben Robinson, Shep Rose, and Jax Taylor.
Jax narrowly beats out Pol Pot. James was played by a Amy Phillips. I think James is off the show.
Contour De Force
Erika Jayne, Katheryn Dennis, Ru Paul, Lala Kent, Nene Leakes and Kenya Moore.
If there was a winner, I missed it