I actually fell asleep before this show aired last night and slept until 8 a.m. so I didn’t have time to recap. Thank the gods that I may actually be back on a regular sleep schedule. I actually had breakfast and everything this morning. Three cheers for getting on normal people’s schedules! So today I was not going to recap this, because Reza, but Luis is on and I love him so here we go! .
WOW! The second the show goes on air we hear Reza off camera call someone a “psycho bitch” before Andy, whose tie is even more cockeyed than usual, can do his introduction. Seriously, we are not two seconds in and Reza is calling someone a bitch and Andy looks like he has been swung around the room by his necktie. This may be better than expected.
Adam is the bartender. He is wearing some bizarre type of getup that I cannot begin to explain. Perhaps I will find a picture later. The big news is that Adam has changed his name to Farahan effective yesterday. Wait, how can any legal matter be “effective” on a Sunday? OMG! Andy has out come out from behind the bar to show off his interesting ensemble and it is a vile, very deep necked, crocheted jumpsuit. I have no words for this. Clearly, Adam is into humiliation. NTTAWWT.
Reza explain that he and Adam have their actual Cartier love rings and the estate sale ring was just a little something on top. He shows us his own ring finger and we see he has the love ring with another ring on top too. I will refrain from public remarks speculating about the meanings of the second rings.
Luann getting glam for RHONY
I had a lot of things I would rather be watching than Bravo tonight, and I paused to recap RHONY but this jackass that was on with Luann was just not worth the interruption in my schedule. Let me see how this all went down.
Before we even start, Andy and his cockeyed tie introduces the jackass as someone who has been in a “twitter war” with Kenya Moore. Um noe. He’s a misogynist loser who attacks women on Twitter frequently. He’s introduced as a guy with a podcast and a lot of rabid fans. Meanwhile, Kenya is the reason people tune in to Bravo’s most watched series. That said, Andy’s misogyny is so extreme that he is going to continuously call this guy to be on his show to trash his moneymaker. Because, Andy.
Yesterday was Luann’s birthday. Her man apparently threw her a surprise party. Ramona was invited, but then disinvited because it rained and the party had to be moved inside. Luann says that since it was a surprise party, she had nothing to do with the invites. She says she thinks that the reason Ramona was cut was because Dorinda and John were going to be there.
Andy makes Luann do a rundown about her current relationship with the other girls. She she’s fine with everyone with a few exceptions. Carole and Luann appear to be in a slightly better place. Luann says things were great with Ramona until she saw the screener for this episode (the real reason she was disinvited from the party) and Bethenny and Luann are “up and down.” I think Luann really wants to be closer to Bethenny and Bethenny doesn’t really want to go there.
Sigh. Why does Andrew have to randomly screw up my viewing schedule? Because I have this random weird half hour to wait for Tour Group, I suppose I will stare at Andy’s crooked tie for a half an hour. She is late so he is talking to himself waiting on her to show up. Or not.
There she is! He has also put Mariah in his chair. You know, Andy, the one who says the chair placement and the game prizes mean nothing. Mariah wants the other side. Andy informs her that she does in fact want the side she is on. Because, Andy.
Wow. Mariah is really dumb. Like Teresa Giudice could teach her a things dumb. Who could marry this woman? I have listened to her for 10 minutes and I need to visit a monastery or something.
Why does Andy feel the need to bring J-Lo up every single time. I have heard the “I don’t know her” story ten times on WWHL. Andy is now worried that Mariah doesn’t “know” him. He is so afraid of her rambling answer he cuts to commercial.
It’s very odd for Kenya to be on WWHL in the off season, so I am expecting some major announcement! I hope that she brought pictures of the house or is announcing a bun in the oven or something!
Matt is there with Kenya and is sitting back stage enjoying the bar. Kenya has moved into Moore Manor. Chateau Sheree remains incomplete. Kenya is thrilled that Kim Fields will not be returning. She has not spoken to her since the reunion.
She has not been to Nene’s stand up show, but she was invited and is very supportive. The Nene and Kenya alliance next season should be AMAZING if they can stay in a good place that long.
All Kenya will say about Peter and Cynthia is, “They are having some issues that may not be resolved.” I have a strong feeling that Cynthia has already filed for divorce. I feel like it is more about Apollo’s relationship with Peter and not Peter’s cheating. I think Cynthia really needs to distance herself from Peter and make sure to tease their finances apart as quickly as possible.
Because Andy doesn’t get nearly as enough time to talk about himself on WWHL, his radio show, his tours with Anderson Cooper, his weekly “Ask Andy” online segments, His Then & Now shows, his Snap hat, Instagram, Twitter, constant periscoping or the aftershows, he is now getting his WWHL guests to interview him from time to time.
The interesting thing about this brief segment with Lisa is not about his desire to be swept off his feet, because I don’t see that happening. I firmly believe that you could remove Andy’s date for any event or dinner and swap them out with someone completely different and he would never notice the difference.
What is interesting to me is the fact he is still renovating his apartment. I actually have a source who is very familiar with his building who told me a couple of years ago at least that Andy had purchased the apartment next door to his and was going to open it up to be one large apartment.
Look Andy, I really need this to be a good episode of WWHL to make up for the weekend that never happened because my server stopped, well, serving. So let’s do this! We begin with Andy Cohen being unable pronounce two out of the three guests names. And he can only pronounce Mercedeh’s name because she pretends like it is Mercedes so she just doesn’t have to correct people.
Vida is asked for some advice for the rest of the cast. She is so good at it, I have to transcribe it for you.
Golnesa: Stop being a victim!
Mike: He’s a confused dreamer.
Asa: Stop using the show for her personal benefit. If she wants to make money do it on her own time. Tell that to Bethenny Frankel, Vida.
Reza: Stop saying “bitch” and acting superior. (Some translation was needed here)