Oh I see Andrew has decided to have Vivica Fox on tonight. Really, Andrew? You are so disappointing. So he introduces her as being know for Independence Day and Kill Bill from like the 90s and her new movie, Chocolate City. For fucksake, bitch was in Sharknado 2.
And is already praising the fuck out of Vivica. He must have told her three times in the introductions how good she looks. Really, Andrew. Sell out much? Robert Ri’chard is the hot bartender also in Chocolate City.
The first game is would Vivica invest in these housewives products. Asa’s Diamond Water? Yes (with a finger snap), Kenya’s production company? Absolutely not. She makes a snide comment. Something about her mother? I could not hear and I listened three times. Phaedra’s Phine Body video? Yes. Her mortuary business? No. Brandi’s Podcast? Yes she loves Brandi. Vivica says that she and Brandi became good friends on Celebrity Apprentice. Of course they did. #Cunts Continue reading
After the last few minutes of the reunion with Nene SCREAMING at the top of her fucking lungs, I am really not up for another half an hour of her stupidity. I am going to try to make this as quick and short as possible while still giving my international readers who don’t get this show a taste of it.
While I love a bright color on a dark-skinned woman, that electric yellow is a bit much, I could live without watching her pick hot pants out of her twat for half an hour and you do not to grease yourself up like a pig in pig catching contest to keep the ashyness at bay. I like this wig better than most that she wears. She is wearing the same necklace she wore on the reunion.
Andy is talking about how Nene’s entire left boob was out for the entire 18 hours of reunion filming. Cecily points out that Porsha’s left boob was also out. Nene says, “Didn’t you love it?” LOL. Oh, Nene never change. No body wants to see all that, dear.
Steve Wilkos is the bartender. Woot! Continue reading
I’m so pleased to see Daisy from Blood Sweat & Heels on WWHL with Kenya Moore tonight. If you don’t watch the show she is battling cancer and it is great to see her out and about.
Kenya is very beautiful tonight in a tamed down ensemble. Daisy is also beautiful with a bit more bling. I and not even going to go there with the Prancing bartenders. Nene’s under three minute (or so I was told) appearance on that show makes me want to puke. If you don’t already know the Prancing whatevers are some gay kids who have been excluded from a team for being gay or not being female or whatever their crisis may be. But the story is that Nene has been crowing about some filming she did on Oxygen as if she had a new show. No. She went on to a show about gay people show them some support. Did she offer to kiss their ass and throw them a gay parade? Nene has been repeatedly offensive to the gay community and this was a DUMB PR move for the Prancing Elites or whatever. I will not be watching.
Kenya is STUNNING tonight. She says she heard Porsha cheated on Kordell, not the other way around. Andy asks if Kenya’s dress was inspired by Beyoncé and she said no it was custom made for her by a designer who is her friend. As she says this the photo of Beyoncé in a very similar dress is shown side by side with hers. So Yes. It was inspired by that dress obviously. And Kenya wore it better. And Kenya’s dress is prettier.
Andy makes fun of Nene walking out of all the scenes this season and counts how many times Nene said everyone else is right. Ten times. Kenya said they cut a lot out but it was pretty much her response to everyone. Andy is not so ass kissy to Nene when she is not there. He is actually being almost nice to Kenya.
Daisy says she is better and has her “twirl back”
This should be interesting since Bethenny is so insufferable toward Heather and Andy and Bethenny are such great BFFs. Heather’s legs are ERRYTHING. It’s hard to tell by the photo, but they really are perfection.
Andy Briefly brings up Dorinda’s faux pas. I found that to be very shady editing toward Dorinda and a sign that production doesn’t care for her. I’m sure there were a million other choices for that :40 mark snippet.
Andy goes straight into the “pussy hair” comment and Bethenny’s rude behavior. Heather says that Bethenny sort of flips a switch ( a bitch switch?) at a moment’s notice and you are not prepared for it. Andy asks about Boutique the meat market for older folks ( I really want to go there next time I am in NYC) and talks about all the hooking up going on. It looks like the Johnny’s Hideaway of NYC! Andy says that Sonja’s cub from that night will be on many upcoming episodes. They sort of date for a while. Heather says that Luann’s guy kind of sticks around too. You go ladies! It’s the season of the cougar apparently.
A bunch of housewives tweet in after a game where the guests had to say how much they would pay for certain items involving other housewives. One was LuAnn’s leopard coat. Heather said she was offered it for free and did not take it. I was pretty sure we saw that happen at the tag sale last episode but Luann tweeted that she did not offer Heather that coat. That is a lie #HollaThatFromThe Rooftops! Heather says that she and Luann are in the middle of a big issue that we are going to have to tune in to see. Heather says she offered it to Carole and she didn’t take it and she offered Heather two chairs which she never saw so we can Holla that too! OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH Heather and Luann are so on the outs right now.
At the end of the show, Luann tweets again to say she did not offer to give the coat to Carole or to Heather, she gives her valuables away to charity. Um, YOU WERE HAVING A PEDESTRIAN GARAGE SALE IN THE FUCKING HAMPTONS, LUANN! Heather says, “Yes you did! And that is why you are having an Estate Sale, but that’s alright!”
Carole tweeted about how hot Heather looks so it seems they come out of the season okay despite Bethenny.
I’m going to try to quickly zip through this. I cannot stay up all night to night because if the weather permits I have some things I must do tomorrow. Forgive the sloppy recap. If I do make my appointment you will all be excited. It’s TT related!
First of all, I am all about everyone wearing what makes them happy. If Kandi likes this then, more power to her. I just hope she is not paying a stylist because they need to be shot. Also, if Todd is there, it must be kind of sad coming home to his mama’s town and not having her there. That sucks.
I do love and want that shirt Kandi is wearing. For me. At the Publix. Andy is in love with boobs. He immediately starts talking about Kandi’s boobs. They do look bigger and HIGH. He also says he saw every square inch of Nene’s boobs as they kept peeking out during the reunion. Andy asks Kandi who she thinks was the shadiest this season and she says people will probably say Claudia because she had a lot of confrontations this season. GOOD ANSWER KANDI! I am worried Claudia is on the bubble and we need lots of Claudia discussions.
If this is just going to be a show about pumping up Kandi and Todd’s spin-off, I’ll be thrilled because I am not going to type all that. Kandi says Mama Joyce gave Todd a better apology later. Kandi says that she has kept some great secrets on the show. Continue reading
I’m not sure I can take another half hour of this woman. What is wrong with Bethenny’s face in this picture?
Ramona is the drinking word. Andy and Isaac Mizrahi could not possibly be further up Bethenny’s asshole. How can they both breath up in there?
Andy asks her opinion on Kim and Kyle since she has known them both for years. Bethenny says that she has known them for 25 years. Bethenny says she can’t imagine having a sibling on the show. Andy asks if it has always been like this between them. Bethenny doesn’t say anything that makes sense. She says she loves Kyle and Kim can be a bit dramatic.
This show is ridiculous. Continue reading
Before I even hear the drinking word, I have so much to say. Apologies in advance for how long it is going to take me to get this post up. First of all why is Porsha even on WWHL with her peachless behind. And her dress is so short I can see up into her damn uterus. I wonder how many times someone will have to tell her to keep her crotch covered on live TV! And her dress is too small for her fake tig ole bitties. /Breath Okay, I’m ready.
Phaedra looks amazing. Perhaps the best she has ever looked in a red dress that is not cut like it’s for a six year old. Shun got it right this time. Porsha does all sorts of weird gestures with Andy introduces her as the Princess of THOTLandia. Is she high? How could you even tell with her? Porsha also thinks it’s summer.
Today is Claudia’s birthday!
Andy starts right away with the coffee enema discussion. Ugh. Is it cold in the clubhouse tonight Phaedra? Because your headlights are on bright. Continue reading
Lots of discussion about Bethenny being “homeless.” Ramona looks good.
They showed a clip of Kim reading a text from Lisa Rinna that really didn’t say anything worse than she has already said. There is an ominious “You better be careful or I will fuck you up! Stop telling lies.”
There is a crazy clip from next week when Bethenny and Ramona are talking outside with a white picket fence between them. Ramona is clearly off her meds and treating Bethenny like she is the crazy one. It looks fantastic!
Andy talks to Ramona about her behavior on the reunion. Ramona says she was very offensive. Andy accurately corrects her saying she was defensive. Ramona wrongly corrects Andy and incorrectly defines both defensive and offensive. Andy just smiles and nods and says “Oh sweetie” quietly inside his head. A couple of people in the clubhouse are laughing loud. Andy forges ahead saying she would not answer any of his questions about Mario and as stonewalling him. Continue reading
Wow, Andy Cohen is not pussy footing around his BFF, Bethenny. I figured this whole show would be a waste of time (lol, like the other shit we watch isn’t) with Andy doing his usual genuflecting and sucking up but right off the bat he says that she is returning to the housewives on the heels of two big failures, her marriage and her talk show. That seems kind of unnecessary, but hopefully it means he will ask some good questions.
Bethenny says that she really can’t talk about the talk show being a negative experience because it would make her seem ungrateful for the experience and she is not. She says she didn’t enjoy being a talk show host. That seems like an odd statement I hope he follows up on. Bethenny says everyone wants a talk show, and everyone thinks it is so easy. She says particularly “housewives” want a talk show and it’s not easy.
Wow. Bethenny and Jason are STILL not divorced. Bethenny doesn’t answer the question about where she lives because she can’t say she doesn’t live in the apartment with Jason because that would allow Jason to say that Bethenny has abandoned her residence. I had heard that Bethenny had purchased an apartment near to the one she technically shares with Jason just to have a place to go. However, it seems that she has to overnight in her place with Jason occasionally for legal reasons. Bethenny says we will see her living situation play out on the show. Continue reading
Jerry O’Connell is such a good person to be on with a housewife. He is almost as into all this nonsense as Jeff Lewis. Before we even get started Andy is catching us up on some Tweets. Camille tweeted that nothing happened with her and the skeevy pseudo prince. She is also friends with the morally corrupt Faye Resnick now. Oh Camille. Really?
The night before on WWHL with Brandi, Brandi said that she ran into Kyle at Sephora and Kyle ran out of the store. Kyle says that Brandi is a lying liar who lies from her liar hole. Kyle says Brandi is the one who ran out and Kyle was there 20 minutes after she left.
Andy loves to replay the fight scenes from housewives shows. He shows Kyle running out of the restaurant in Amsterdam. She says she yanked off her mike and ran out because shit was getting crazy and she didn’t want to stick around to find out what happens next. Then he plays a clip from the reunion of Kim saying that if Kyle and Kim decide to work on their relationship they will need to do it in a therapist’s office, but as far as she is concerned she is just fine with not speaking to Kyle and leaving things the way they are. Kyle told Andy before the reunion that it was her hope that she and Kim would make up, but that didn’t happen. Kyle says that there was no resolution for anyone at the reunion in any of the situations. Continue reading
I don’t understand why Brandi is there. They could have had someone from Southern Charm. Or anyone else on the planet for that matter. Oh Andy says it’s because the RHOBH finale is tomorrow. Andy asks Brandi if she has ever met Mike. She replies that Mike just tried to have sex with her in the back. Mike says, “Believe me, you and Golnesa would say yes.” Frankly, I’m surprised Brandi has not already offered. But we are only 30 seconds in. Brandi says she watched all the Shah’s shows on the plane over.
Andy asks her about the mask she Tweeted herself wearing on the plane and she acted like she did not want to discuss it because she was not being paid. #SMH She seems to think she is Oprah Winfrey or someone. So I googled and it’s an “illumask” a $30 product from Ulta Beauty Supply that is a light therapy treatment for acne and acne scars. When Andy asks if it does something to your skin, she says, “Yes, it’s for helping you sleep!” Oh Brandi. You have never been a good liar.
Brandi has new hair. It’s longer and less hay like. During the first game Brandi points out that she thinks Kenya and Apollo worked together on that whole storyline about them trying to get with each other. She bases this on the fact that Apollo is just too dumb. Well, she’s right about that part at least.
Andy is being nice to Brandi. #cuts
Andy plays a clip from the reunion where he says to Brandi, ” Sometimes you are playing and you just take it a step too far.” Brandi responds with “No, that’s bullshit. I’ve taken enough abuse since I have been here, I’m not taking it from you too.” Andy says that Brandi was really pissed at him over that comment. Um, really? That was your super mean girl move with Brandi, Andrew? That has been said by pretty much every sane person who watches the show for several seasons now. Oh God. Brandi says she leaves the reunion feeling vindicated. I am starting to want to cut. I’ve never been a cutter before, but this seems like a good time to start because YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! This is like when my ex tells me he is going to get counseling for his anger problems toward all the multitudes of women in his life (including a wife, btw) and he swears the therapist told him he was too selfless and needed to be more concerned with his own happiness and should try and find a new girl friend (to add to the list?). One can only hope that both Brandi and the ex are equally delusional about what happened at the reunion, and individual therapy respectively. Continue reading
On Ask Andy recently, he was asked what is going on with him and Kathy Griffin. Did they have a falling out? She is never on WWHL anymore and there have been no new specials.
Andy gives a weird sigh of disinterest and says, ” Yeah I know. (pause) Did we have a falling out? Not that I know of. (dumb Andy face) Although you never know. /shrug
The chick says “It’s true you never know with her she could be hating on you right now…”
Andy, “I’m sure she is, maybe she hates me… you never know.” He’s chewing gum. Why does he do that? What is with Americans and their gum?
On WWHL, with Ellen Barkin and Anderson Cooper, Andy seems to announce that Cooper is a bottom, which I am not sure has ever been verified before. This is a show that Cohen called his besties in for because someone cancelled last minute. It’s like three best friends getting drunk on TV. Anyway, this is not a show I would normally recap, although it is good, but I think the topic of Kathy Griffin is going to come up. And I want to know what is going on with Andy and Kathy, because it seems that AC still loves Kathy, but Cohen perhaps not so much. LOL someone just checked Andy for only giving bathrobes to his favorites. It’s so true, I can’t believe he read that. Continue reading