I literally feeling like my brain is decaying. I’m serious. My brain feels heavy in my skull, I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open and my eyes are blurry. I think between the heat and all the serious decisions I’ve had to make lately, I have fried and possibly pickled my brain. But I shall try to recap this nonsense as best I can.
Heather can sing? Apparently so. She sang the national anthem at the Angels game recently.
Right away Andy plays the clip of Vicki calling Brooks. I don’t get the big mystery here. She is being ostracized by the group for a situation he is ultimately responsible for, and she loved him even though he was horrible to her. She left a party feeling alone, and she drunk dialed. Am I the only one who has ever drunk dialed the last person on earth I’d ever want to see sober? I guarantee you before Vicki even open her eyes the next day her first thought was “Please tell me I didn’t really call him.”
Next week Shannon and Kelly get together to
work things out argue some more. Shannon denies setting Kelly up with the two bitches at her party. She claims one of the women was instrumental in “helping Heather and her with their HOA.” The problem they had with their HOA was that everyone hates them for filming in the neighborhood. It could not be anymore obvious that those two were there to attack Kelly.
This is really stupid and I can’t believe I am going to watch this, but I thought y’all might like a place to comment. Did I mention how dumb this is?
Gia is the Miss Bravo. Jenni Pulos hosts the west coast event with all the west coast Bravolebs.
Don’t Call It A Comeback Award
Craig Conover, Teresa Giudice, Stassi Schroeder, Sheree Whitfiel or Satan. The winner was Satan. Or the Felon. It might have been the Felon by Bravo.
Remember this walk off video of the felon? Their next question was going to be about Heather Dubrow. Andy brings this up and Teresa blows it off. Anyone know what Heather said?
The Bravo Bro Award
James Kennedy, Pol Pot, Ben Robinson, Shep Rose, and Jax Taylor.
Jax narrowly beats out Pol Pot. James was played by a Amy Phillips. I think James is off the show.
Contour De Force
Erika Jayne, Katheryn Dennis, Ru Paul, Lala Kent, Nene Leakes and Kenya Moore.
If there was a winner, I missed it
Fourth of July this year.
First of all, I can’t believe that Andy shot the reunion for 12 hours and is doing a live episode of WWHL at the regular time slot. Perhaps he has gotten the message that the show needs to be live at 11 whenever it is on and not prerecorded and tacked on to random other shows.
I am glad that Andy is bringing up Jeff’s lips. I could not stop staring at his top lip for the entire first episode of Flipping Out. He had sort of the sausage lip only kind of deflated. I can’t remember if I got that into my recap last night but I am hoping it will be addressed now.
Andy I hoarse, I hope that means he did some yelling. He brings up the Bravo Award which will be next Wednesday. I went to the site the other day and it requires a lot of clicking around, the categories are stupid even for Bravo, and the “nominees” are all the people I hate on Bravo with very few exceptions. I think I voted for Jeff Lewis for something. Seriously the category would be some really stupid thing that was supposed to be positive and the choices would be like, Stassi, Patti, Satan or Meghan. I was disturbed by the whole thing. It was literally lots of choices between people who should all be fired.
Sorry for the delay. I was up very late, slept through my dental appointment (by several hours) and it hot as hell again so I really am not thinking straight. But several asked about this recap, so I am going to try to muddle through it. I really think I have narcolepsy.
OMG it’s Shiri Appleby! AKA Rachel from Unreal! NOW I am excited! Andy says Unreal is dark even for him but he loves it. I am sure he is getting ideas.
We start with the Calzone scene. Carole says Jules screwed up the Calzone so she didn’t have to eat it. I really don’t care what Carole thinks.
We see the scene where Luann says she doesn’t want to have a cup of tea with Carole and she doesn’t care what she thinks. Carole says that she thought they had it all worked out at Bethenny’s fall party in the Hamptons that they were not ever going to be friends and it just keeps on coming up. Well Carole, I thought the understanding was that you and Luann were not going to be friends and that you would keep a civil distance. Instead, you became a mean girl demanding that she not film with you. Something you picked up from Bethenny’s treatment of Sonja.
Tamra looks like she is keeping up with her workouts and possibly even the severe diet as she is very small and she has lost weight in her face.
Andy plays the clip of Vicki sobbing on the ride home from the yacht party and Tamra says it is heart breaking, but that Vicki didn’t do the right thing. And she never apologized to anyone even though after the reunion she was tweeting everyone that she did. There was a lack of audio for a good bit and I am not sure if she was cussing or if my DVR screwed up again.
Andy says the last time he saw her was at his AC2 tour in Orange County and Alexis was seated right in front of her. Alexis had sent in a long letter about Tamra’s sudden
storyline conversion to Christianity. He asks how that went for her. She said that it actually went well and Alexis said she didn’t intend to come across as mean and she is really happy for her.
So Mike, why did you lie? I wasn’t lying. I was having marital problems between me and my wife (that is usually where marital problems occur) an I was trying to keep it under wraps but being on reality TV you don’t really have that freedom. You weren’t having marital problems just falling from the sky. You were cheating on a woman who had changed her religion and immersed herself in two foreign cultures to be exactly the wife you wanted. You wanted to keep it under wraps because you were embarrassed that you got caught and embarrassed to families. My DVR has stopped on Mike’s face and the look he is giving Andy is terrifying.
Mike tries to justify himself further saying that he didn’t believe the rumors that he heard but Jessica did. He heard Jessica wanted to leave earlier than she did. OF COURSE SHE DID. He has heard rumors that he is gay! Sandra Bernhard says, “well you do have a gay brow.”
So was it one affair with one person? Or multiple affairs? Clearly, Andy knows the answer to this, but Mike continues to deny and lie. He says it was one affair that started before he was engaged ( I wonder which one he is claiming? The one that wrote the book?) and she found out about it after she got married. My sources say that Jessica found out about many of the girls he cheated with throughout their relationship and she naively thought once they were married he would stop. He did not. Mike gives off every singly body language signal of lying in the world. He should be used in CIA training. Trainees, today we are going to look at the basic body language signals that someone is lying using this film from WWHL that encapsulates them all I a very blatant fashion… He eyes are also really messed up.
Sandra is disgusted by the entire show. It’s hysterical.