Andy Cohen annoys the hell out of me by constantly changing his mind about what time he wants to do is live show. Tonight it’s a ten. Why? Did Kristen or Katie Maloney or Bobby Moynihan have better things to do at 11? Does he have a Grindr date at midnight on the night before Teresa’s interview? Or maybe he needs to get to bed early to be refreshed for his interview with Tre tomorrow at the regular 11 p.m. slot? What? Why do I try to find logic when it comes to Andy? OH WAIT! I BET HE IS GETTING UP EARLY TO WATCH GMA! That has to be it.
Oh and last night, a source LIVE FROM THE SCENE! reported that someone had ODed at PUMP. So I go to check all the Pumpkids TLs to check and see if any of them were around and knew what was happening. Amazingly, pretty much all of them were out of town or just returning from hosting events. But the interesting thing is that Katie Mahoney has me blocked on Twitter. Was it something I said? Seriously, I don’t remember ever saying bad things about her. Maybe back in the orange hair days. /shrugs Scheana doesn’t have me blocked and we talk about her like a dog here. Ariana also has me blocked. I can sort of see that, as I am a huge Kristen fan. But I should point out that I don’t follow most of the Vanderpump folks and the only one I’ve ever included on a tweet is Kristen, because, LOVE. They have had to come here to read the site and then block me from tweeting them. Something I have never done. Weird. Yet validating that they all do show up here. Hey y’all! Anyway, I never got any further deets on whatever the hullabaloo was at PUMP! last night. I assume everyone is okay.
Andy describes Lisa Rinna as being “Just like a delicious hotdog, she’s made of mostly lips and just the right amount of ass!” Which is funny. Especially if when you were a kid you found out that hotdogs were made of left over pig parts, like the lips. Is that an urban legend? Am I dating myself ? #BuyKosherFranksBlessedByRabbis
I’m late recapping this because I was all in my O.J. Feelings last night and Spectrum hasn’t been giving me actual information about the TV shows for over a week now, just that the show will be on, with you know, some guests. So here we go.
The bartender is “Groundhog Faye” which is some intern in an animal suit with Faye Resnick’s face on top. Andy is excited that next Tuesday Teresa Giudice will stop by on her book tour. She will be on GMA that morning so he did not get first dibs. GMA must be paying a buttload.
Ho Hum… Really Andrew? Ariana and Sandoval? Okay. Let’s see what happens.
Andy shames Scheana for thrusting Shay in front of alcohol and telling Shay not to be a bore. Ariana seems to think that Shay’s drinking was not a problem because there are people on the show that drink a lot more. Because if you drink less than the #PumpRules cast, you clearly don’t have a problem. At least that is what the #PumpRules cast tells themselves.
Andy says that everyone with a brain in their head and some who have no brains love Kristen now, and they are like, oh no, Kristen is Satan. And while Ariana looks amazing, Sandoval is turning into.. well… the picture doesn’t do his hair justice. It’s even worse with the long greasy off to one side thing. It’s sort of Nene Leakes in the sense that it is an asymmetrical mistake. Continue reading
This should be interesting. Nene is ranting at Kenya on Instagram and Kenya is talking about Kim on Twitter. Cynthia has removed her posts from Instagram from Kenya’s birthday. It seems like everyone is on the outs with Kenya right now. I’m sure shady Andy is going to go hard on Kenya tonight and let a lot of mean questions through. It’s not a good night for #TeamTwirl. And Kenya is in the second chair. It’s starting already. Kenya’s legs are gold for some reason.
Kenya’s boyfriend Matt is the bartender. Apparently, he is 6’7″. Andy plays a montage that makes tonight’s episode look really interesting. I guess I just wasn’t up for the recap tonight. I also wish this #RHOP wasn’t on tonight. I really can’t stand that show.
Andy reads a lot of negative comments about Kenya’s behavior tonight. Andy asks for her thoughts. Kenya says when she watched the show tonight she was mortified. Kenya says that pulling Kim’s chair back was unacceptable behavior and she apologized for that. Kenya’s face looks a lot wider than usual. Kenya says she is very ashamed by that. Continue reading