After last week, when Dr Jenn berated and cursed out her clients and Dick Donato told Dr. Jenn he is HIV positive, let’s see what fresh hell is in store for us this week! Oh look! A “human lie detector.” Sigh.
Nikki and Juan Pablo are arguing about moving in together. Nikki storms off and goes to cry in the corner away from cameras. Deena tells Juan Pablo to go after her but he doesn’t.
Jenna is isolating after Dr. Jenn was rude to her. I hate her boyfriend. Dr. Jenn gives them the night off from the human lie detector. Everyone else has to go. Boys on one side of the room, girls on the other. Everyone appears to be less than thrilled.
The human lie detector doesn’t believe Juan Pablo. Dick says he can’t really talk about why he is there. Stephanie is pissed that Dick is here to come out with his medical issue and she was mislead. Stephanie said that there is zero chance they will get back together. Dick is sad. Everyone is curious about what Dick is hiding.
Cicely wants the lady to find out if Treach is cheating. Dick is hysterical in his talking heads. “Is this really happening? Are we are Jerry Springer? Will paternity tests arrive next?” The human lie detector believes Treach. Cicely still doesn’t believe him. Continue reading
Leann and Eddie take their parents on a family trip to Hawaii. I’m pretty sure the boys went too, but they are not allowed to be filmed. I seem to remember Brandi whining about this on Twitter when it happened. Leann’s mom has been married to her stepfather, Ted for about 13 years. Leann loves Ted.
Leann and Eddie rented a three bedroom condo and ranked third on bedroom choices. Welcome to vacationing with family. Someone asks what Leann’s mom is drinking and she says a virgin pina colada. Eddie asked why it’s a virgin. She says she doesn’t like liquor. She’s never smoked, drank or cheated on her husbands. Awkward silence. Leann says, “I’ve got you beat on that one!” Eddie’s dad is one of those people who spends his entire vacation taking pictures. I don’t believe in vacation pictures.
Leann and Eddie tell their parents that she is off birth control. Eddie says they are not deliberately trying get pregnant, but if it happens it happens. This qualifier seems to annoy Leann who seems to be trying without him. Continue reading
Photo Credit: VH1
Dating Naked has been a fun show on VH1 this summer. I think I have some sort of conflict when that shows comes on because sometimes it tapes and sometimes it doesn’t. I just watched the last episode where one of the female choices for the main male contestant claimed to be a virgin who had never seen a penis “in real life.” It was pretty funny. It seemed like she was not going to go through with getting naked right from the start. She finally did it and went on a date with a guy who I thought was kind of a jerk. They went out on a boat ride and she puked the entire time. She left the program shortly after the boat finally got her to shore.
So when I heard today that someone was suing VH1 (Thanks for the emails) for showing them naked on a dating naked show, I assumed it was that girl. But it’s not.
It’s a girl named Jesse. She looks familiar and I think I saw the episode, but I really don’t pay that much attention to the show when I watch it, it’s mainly background noise while I work on the blog. I can’t for the life of me remember anything interesting about her or her dating choices. According to her, on one of her dates they failed to blur her genitals for a second or two while she was wrestling a date on the beach. Continue reading
This season of Leann & Eddie has been pretty hit and miss. Let’s see what happens this episode when Leann has a houseguest with a baby. Where the heck are they hiking? It’s gorgeous!
Well that didn’t take longer. Eddie goes to see his friend Mike to get a haircut. He doesn’t need a haircut, so he had to wear a cap in the kitchen. Mike never touches his head with the scissors. The conversation is all about Brandi. Because that is all these people know how to talk about He even has a talking head about how he has no idea if Brandi is in a relationship. So it was basically a talking head about him having no clue about what he was talking about.
Leann’s mom wants a facelift. Leann babysits for her friend so she can have some time away from her baby. Leann talks about her step sons and changing the youngest ones diapers. While Leann was babysitting as staged call comes in about an emergency meeting that she needs to be at in 30 minutes. This way we get to see Leann struggle with car seat and carting the baby around. 2 Continue reading
Filed under Leann RImes, VH1
Let’s see if Leann and Eddie can actually do two interesting shows with no mention of Brandi in a row, shall we? The title of this episode is already Brandiesque so I am not very hopeful. This week the dynamic duo is having a couple dozen people over for a BBQ. Since Leann in on tour, her publicist (Can we all take a moment and have a moment of silence for her poor publicist?) has told her to keep a low profile. And out first Brandi innuendo begins within the first two minutes. Eddie and Leann agree that Leann never instigates the twitter wars she only reacts when provoked by stupidity. PUHLEASE. Could these people just block each other on twitter? Problem solved. I block people on twitter every damn day just because I don’t need even the slightest interaction with idiots and people I don’t like.
Eddie has a swimsuit photoshoot for Men’s fitness in two weeks. He must starve himself and work out twice a day. Meanwhile, Leann had just cooked him what she calls pancakes but look more like crepes made by some chef and they are planning a BBQ. Oh and did I mention Leann tweeted the pancakes in front of a mirror with her in nothing but a bra, thong and apron? Accidentally of course. Please. Who cooks in that? No one. That is who. Not an accident and she did not make the “pancakes.” Eddie suggests she delete it, but not a chance of that happening. Continue reading
Look, thirty minutes is just not long enough for a show about anything anymore. I realize in the olden days we had plenty of 30 minute sitcoms that worked. But back then, the commercial breaks weren’t nearly as long. In the present day, a 30 minute show is about 14 minutes long. It’s just not long enough for a decent story arc. Rant over.
This week our lovely couple goes to Nashville. But first, Leann and Eddie bicker about Leann’s over packing for a two-day trip. Eddie is intimidated by Leann’s father. Leann says she went coon hunting for the first time when she was two. Or four. Or Five. She killed a raccoon with a shotgun.
Oh I remember now. Leann sued her father, who was at the time her manager for mismanaging her finances or something. Leann has a tour bus parked on her dad’s property for her to stay in with Eddie. Leann has to go to an interview so Eddie is left alone with Leann’s father. Continue reading
Well, I can’t put it off any longer. I actually did some dishes as a better option than watching this show, but I am now out of hot water and my back is sore from bending over the sink, it’s 4:30 and I haven’t done a post all day so views are sucking ass. It must be done. Thank the baby Jesus it is only a half hour show.
Okay, now my DVR has stopped working entirely. This is special. After 20 minutes of trying to get the show to play, I’m noticing that the problem is specific to this show. Even my DVR refuses to cooperate with this shit show. It looks like I will have to do the recap based on just reading the description.
Leann goes on a weekend trip with her southern friends. Hmm, Leann has southern friends? Leann has friends? That must have been interesting. It seems that they went four wheeling or something. Perhaps she got injured and had to go to the ER. Perhaps the injury caused to be unable to speak or tweet ever again. My TV is trying really hard to show this recording but the screen looks something like a Picasso. Oh wait, it is playing now. Continue reading
I already hate it. They are just introducing each other and it already sucks. In their montage of taboid covers they make sure to include one with BRANDI CHEATED FIRST! on the cover. We start by going to the premiere of Eddie’s movie, Best Man Holiday. But no before Eddie takes a jab at Brandi for saying he does not work. That two jabs in the first two minutes. Wait it looks like two more jabs in the first two minutes. They are responding to gossip about a $50 dollar divorce and Eddie reaching out to Brandi for emotional support. Really? Eddie reaching out to Hank Baskett’s transvestite lover would be more believable. Okay we are up to seven jabs. Leann says that Brandi is just a mouthpiece to the media spreading lies. Leann is pissed that Eddie would not comment And that entire conversation in the car was filmed after the fact to make it look like they planned the Eddie denies Luann tongue on the red carpet “story.” Actually that tabloid story looks completely made up as well. WTF?
Luann’s contract is finally over. She was stuck in some sort of ridiculous 20 year contract from childhood.
This is the longest half an hour of my life. Continue reading
Last week the season finale of Mob Wives just left us hanging with a “to be continued…” ending. To me, that means we will have another episode of the show. To the Mob Wives producers, it means we go straight to the reunion. I think that is odd. Sherri Shepherd also seems to be an odd choice. It’s like sending a lamb into den of wolves.
Right away, Alicia explains what happened in court, which we already knew because it was all over the news. The feds are holding up sentencing until they can figure how to get her Mob Wives salary as part of her restitution.
Big Ang is wearing a glittery hoody with the hood up. It’s weird and I want it. Oh I think it is a dress. It’s much more interesting than rehashing the “Delicious” debate. Continue reading
Sada and Whitney
Sada is freaking out because her father is coming to the house for a session with her and Dr. Jenn. This is really putting a strain on her already volatile relationship with Whitney. These two try to communicate, they just seem to not hear what the other person is saying.
Dr. Jenn sits down with Sada and her father to discuss Sada’s history of growing up in a loud, aggressive family. Sada’s father says there is a history of violent behavior going back generations. Her father apologizes for hurting her. It was all very calm and emotionless. Sada and Whitney seem to end things on a good note. Continue reading
My TV guide is not noting this as the season finale but I am pretty sure that is what they said on the last episode. Sorry it has taken me so long to get to this recap, I’ve been super busy!
Renee has been keeping a secret from the girls. She has been secretly writing a sex novel. She reads a little bit of her book out loud. Let’s just say she is not the next Sylvia Plath.
Alicia is very nervous about her sentencing. I sort of feel sorry for her. I get that she committed crimes and needs to do the time, but her sentencing has been dragging out for like a year and counting? I’m sure she just wants to know her fate at this point.
Big Ang comes to her senses about having a baby and tells Neil he will just have to be a grandpa to the two on the way instead. Also they just bought a fixer upper house that is going to take all their time and money.
Natalie finally tells London that her job and her house and her life is in Philly. She wants London to marry her and move to Philly. They seem to be at a standstill.
This episode of Couple’s Therapy is about repeating the same patterns. It’s a great topic, but I have no faith at all in Dr. Jenn’s ability to explore the topic with any degree of success. I must have been naïve to think that therapists who come on TV shows are any less attention seeking than the “patients.” Regardless, I just can’t quit this train wreck, despite the lateness of my recapping, here we go.
Jon and Liz. Part of the whole group therapy thing from my perspective is for people to get an idea of how they are perceived by others. You know, like with that great head shrinker of our time Dr. Phil asks the audience who thinks the person on the stage is full of shit. It’s supposed to make the person realize that the group consensus that change needs to be made. Yet every fucked up person on this show has tried several times to tell Jon that his cowering submissiveness is beyond emasculating and Liz’s constant cracking of the whip and humiliating him is wrong. Yet they seem to be just fine with the power exchange and so why the hell are they even there? Clearly, Jon wants to be the doormat and Liz wants to walk on him. If they are into that? Good for them. But quit trying to pretend like you are there to make changes that clearly you do not want to make. Jon has a history of submission and I suspect Liz has a history of humiliating her partners. Maybe it’s a match made in BDSM heaven. But let’s move on, for fucksake.
Dr. Jenn meets with Jon to explain that he needs to grow some balls. Jon starts right away defending Liz. Jon says Liz is really good with his kids. Didn’t the love profile last week indicate that neither of these two procreators were in the least bit “family oriented?” Oh wait, I remember. He just dismissed that whole thing as television for ratings. Dr. Jenn says that Liz doesn’t really care if she hurts Jon or not. Dr. Jenn suggests he stop being a wounded animal, take his power back and stand up for himself. Later. Liz seems to be realizing she is a bitch. Progress? Continue reading