Category Archives: Vanderpump Rules

Ariana Madix Wants You To Know “The Truth”

Kirsten It's me or Ariana!

One of the things that must really suck about being on a reality show like Vanderpump Rules is all the bullshit editing. As a viewer you learn quickly to sort of suspend disbelief and pretend like what you are watching is real. I mean we all know it is not real at this point. So imagine a situation being portrayed that makes you look bad and having to pretend that what we saw was the real deal on your Bravo Blog!

Such is the case with Ariana Madix this week. All Y’all know I am team Kristen just because I find he crazy fascinating and great TV.  Bravo edits her as the crazy, because she is, but I think she also amplifies it for the camera and is just having fun with it.

Anyway, numerous Bravolebs have become frustrated with the official Bravo Blogs. One season, Kandi Burruss just refused to post them because they would not let her speak freely. Since then, people have taken to posting what they really want to say on their own blogs.  And yesterday, while I was slammed with other posts and a certain lunatic someone sent me Ariana Madix blog on her tumblr. (Thanks for that by the way, I love those of you who email me what is going on when I have my nose to the grindstone all day.)  And just because I am “Team Kristen” it doesn’t mean I don’t also enjoy Ariana. It’s not that serious.

So click through to see what Ariana wants to get off her chest. The bolding is mine. Continue reading

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Vanderpump Rules: Miami Vices

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

 

YAY! Let’s get this party started! It’s time for my weekly dose of Kristen Doute! OMG! We start right away with AnneMarie (Miami Girl) meeting up with Kristen! Kristen orders a bottle of wine and gets AnneMarie to spill the entire story for the cameras. AM was hanging out at the pool at the Mondrian and Jax was there talking about himself. Because, Jax.  AM said all the guys said they were single. Tom took a liking to her and was very sweet, holding her hand, etc. They talked for hours. AM tells Kristen she still thinks that Tom is in love with Kristen. He talked about her a lot and how he cheated on her. Oh this is going to send Kristen straight to 5 alarm crazy with no stops along the way. YES! Kristen starts crying. Kristen sees an opportunity to get Tom back. AM tells Kristen to go there and confront him. It’s going to GO DOWN at SUR tonight!

Schwartz says he was premed in college and his parents were not thrilled her ran off to Hollywood to pursue a modeling and acting career. Katie and Schwartz rehash the breakup with Stassi. Katie is still hoping for a reconciliation with Stassi. No Katie, just no.

Kristen and her friend Rachel go to SUR to party. And stir up trouble. AnneMarie shows up to confront Tom and he is freaking out. He leaves the bar and has someone else take over the bar. Tom completely flees the bar. Tom is calling AM a crazy, stalking, psycho in his talking heads. Ariana also flees her job and they both get in an Uber. Oh, Lisa is going to love having two staff members bail on their shift. Continue reading

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Tom Schwartz Skewers Stassi And Hints He’s Hiding Something

Pump Swartz

Of all the idiots on Vanderpump Rules, Tom Schwartz seems to be the most easy-going. Sure he’s a bit socially anxious, but he seems like a nice guy. He puts up with all of Jax’ crap without much grumbling and seems  to have a very laid back attitude to the drama. That said, he is clearly completely over Stassi and how she treated is girl, Katie.  In his blog post this week her refers to her as “fallen dictator”.

But the interesting thing is his ominous comment at the end. He seems to have some guilt about something and preparing to make a confession. Will that be the end of Schwartz and Katie? Continue reading

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Vanderpump Rules Recap: Sayonara, Stassi!

Pump Rules Cast Casual

The gang returns from Miami. In the grand scheme of things, the trip was a success. Sure there was the dramatic reveal of Jax’s previous life as a gay sugarboy, and his later blog that basically said, “Hey! Sandoval did it too!”  And yeah, Kristen let her crazy fly in an attempt to further her plans to break up Sandoval and his beard.  But in the grand scheme of all things Vanderpump Rules, the trip was a success. Why? Because Stassi was not there. Unfortunately, I fear we will make up for that with a double dose of Stassi this episode. If so, this will be a short blog.

We begin with Stassi taking a minion to work at SUR. Because Stassi hates SUR and avoids it like the plague. Oh wait, no she doesn’t.  Stassi is now mad at the minion for being happy that Katie enjoyed Miami. Stassi won’t even drop the girl off at the door because she doesn’t want to see all the people who had fun without her in Miami.

Vail, on her probable hookup with Jax in Miami, “Blackouts are God’s way of saying, ‘don’t worry about it!’  Oh she’s a wise one. And Peter is all over the fresh meat like Apollo on stolen mail. Vail is sniffing all around him as well. I remember when I liked Peter. I liked my former delusions. I miss them so much.

Scheana and Shay and Kristen and Stassi pretending to work on Scheana’s “music” or her seating chart for her wedding, or oh fuck it the scene is about breaking but Tom and Ariana.  The little British busboy points out that, at the guys party in Miami, Sandoval seemed very nervous about Jax talking about the girl in Miami who claims to have slept with Sandoval on a previous trip.  Scheana asks about Kristen’s talk with Tom and she whispers to Scheana that talking about it in front of the busboy hurts his feelers. Then we get a whole talking head from the busboy about Kristen disrespecting him with regard to Sandoval all the time. Continue reading

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Kristen Talks About Making Tom Cry and Jax’ Past

Pump Rules Kristen

Because the beauty of Kristen’s crazy is lost on the clueless, Jax and especially Scheana don’t have anything nice to say about Kristen this week. So fuck them. We’ll just focus mainly on Kristen’s blog. She keeps dangling some big news about how “over Tom”  she is that she will be sharing at the reunion. Let’s hope she is marrying that British kid, or someone even more random she met two days before the reunion and the  whole thing is televised. I cannot get enough Kristen.

What amazes me is that this week’s episode was about Jax reuniting with his sugar daddy.  Only Jax and Kristen really mentioned it at all. I realize everyone already knew, but that was sort of the lead story.  What is wrong with these twats? Continue reading

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Vanderpump Rules Recap: Jax Reunites With His Miami Sugar Daddy!

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

On this episode of Vanderpump Rules, we finally get some intel on the rumors about “Jax” that have been swirling since the very first episode of this series.  Since the show began I’ve gotten emails from gay men informing me that Jax used to be a male escort and had a sugar daddy who took care of him in Miami. Though interesting, I didn’t have any real details that could be verified.  I did have a few pictures sent to me that are sadly not on this laptop. I was also told that he left Miami “in disgrace” and moved to Los Angeles where he changed his name to “Jax Taylor.”  I can’t wait to see what happens tonight when it appears from previews that the sugar daddy comes on the show!

We begin with everyone being hung over from the party the night before in Miami. Lots of people claiming the don’t remember. Including Vail who I suspect may have already gotten Jaxed. Ariana is very bothered by Kristen. This pleases me. Schwartz says he is having sex with Katie now. Stassi is blowing off Katie’s texts.

Stassi and her Sur minion have a scene that contribute nothing to the show. Basically, Stassi is butthurt everyone left her for Scheana’s party, especially Katie. Continue reading

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Vanderpump Rules Recap : Things Begin To Go South Beach

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

On tonight’s Vanderpump Rules the gang goes to Miami for a bachelor, bachelorette party.  Because a 3,000 miles from home is the perfect place to have a party. Especially when Bravo is paying. I’m not complaining. I love seeing Miami on TV, I wish it wasn’t the kiss of death for reality franchises though. Apparently, I am the only person that watches reality shows set in Miami.

Jax has some bullshit story about how he got a giant gash in his head. Some drunken incident he probably doesn’t remember would be my guess. Jax uninvited Tiffany from the trip so that Tom would not rat him out about the girl in San Diego. Everyone is nervous about the trip because everyone hates at least two people who are invited. It’s the perfect Bravo recipe for disaster.

OMG, Jax dancing in the shower, we can literally see his swinging Richard!  I see now how he has been a kept man for so um, long. Continue reading

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Scheana is Over Stassi And Her Crappy Attitude

Pump Rules scheana kirsten

Scheana is irked by Stassi’s jealous attacks on her wedding in this week’s episode. Just like Tom Schwartz  Scheana laid into Stassi on her blog. It seems she is not liked by anyone except that one minion girl. They are having to drag in people to celebrate her birthday with her. She’s basically exiled from the group.  Scheana explains the wedding invitations (They were tacky) and tells us what her Wedding by Bravo cost. We all know it didn’t cost her anything.

Here are Scheana’s thoughts:

I honestly don’t even know where to begin with these people. I love how even at Stassi’s birthday party she finds a reason to talk sh– about me. The only reason I sent Jen and Jeremy an invitation late is because he kept asking me why he hadn’t received one in the mail yet. We had several family members not able to fly out last minute and that opened up some spaces. We had 300 chairs and originally 350 invites sent out. It’s not like I was desperate for people to come to my wedding and I needed to fill the chairs. People WANTED to be at my wedding. It was an insanely beautiful night filled with love, not negativity and bad people. Jen and Jeremy have always been friends of mine as well so yes, I extended a late invitation to them. I couldn’t invite every single co-worker and anyone who has been married before would understand how difficult a seating chart is. Jen and Jeremy of course didn’t come because Stassi wouldn’t allow it. It’s funny because a couple of weeks after the wedding, Jeremy said he really regretted not making it and heard how beautiful everything was. Even bitchy Kristina Kelly said she heard how amazing everything was. And I’m sorry, but for Stassi to say how “tacky” my invitations were and Kristina to say she wishes she was a fly on the wall at my wedding is beyond rude! My wedding cost close to $100k, so why would I want to waste extra money on paper for invitations that most people would throw away? There were several gorgeous invitations I looked at for $7 each. When I needed over 200 of them,. Yeah not going to waste the money. Continue reading

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Ariana Madix Shares A Birthday With Stassi ?!

WWHL Tom and Ariana

Ariana’s  blog was very long-winded this week so I am just going to hit the highlights. Her relationship with Tom is fantastic and he is self-depreciating and so funny!  They are very happy together.  He really didn’t want to go on the boys trip with a bunch of guys. She hates Stassi. She hates Jax. She hates Kristen.  She thinks Stassi should have gone to Miami since Katie would have been there and she could have avoided everyone else. That made no sense to me. It’s a party. A group trip. Stassi would just make everyone miserable.  Anyway, here are the highlights.

This may sound somewhat odd, but this episode got me extremely heated. You know who else has a birthday on June 24th? That would be me. You know who had an epic birthday this year? Again, that would be me. Tom conspired with my mom, my brother, and Scheana’s family to organize a surprise visit from them for my birthday. I don’t know if I have felt more surprised, loved, and grateful in my life than in that moment. A big group of us went to Disneyland (Tom’s first time), and it was my brother’s first time in California. Tom, my mom Tanya, my brother Jeremy, Scheana, Shay, Jax, and myself had dinner prepared exclusively for us by a chef who uses some of the most exotic ingredients I have ever had. We had some picky eaters at the table, so it was hilarious to watch. We went dancing and a plethora of good times were had by all. Continue reading

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Tom Schwartz Has Some Strong Words For Stassi

Pump Swartz

Tom Schwartz tells us why he didn’t want to rat Jax out about his latest wayward dick incident in San Diego. He also lets us know how he really feels about Stassi.  I think his assessment is spot on, and actually a little kinder than she deserves.  Highlights below.

From Schwartz:

I didn’t want to get involved about the Jax rumors. Even though he has stirred my pots before, I don’t want to speculate on another’s behalf. Whatever happened is his business. We got back, I worried I might be permanently hungover. I found out that Katie had been extended an invitation to Miami via Scheana and it’s an awesome relief. I don’t think I could have gone to the bachelor party without my love — but I also would have been annoyed about not getting to go just because of some petty unfinished squabble that surely could be hashed out after a one-on-one between them. It all stems from miscommunication. Continue reading

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Vanderpump Rules Recap: In This Case You CAN Catch An STD From A Toilet Seat

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

This week on Vanderpump Rules, all the guys head off to party in San Diego. Who is going to mix the damn cocktails at SUR?

But first, Stassi and two nameless minions lie in wait for Vail. They would like to rope her into their Stassi Butt Sniffing Society, but that’s not the stuff that Vail likes to sniff. Why is Stassi still so involved in the politics of a bar she no longer works at? I mean I get they apparently wanted her on the show, but everything with her is so overtly pointless. We’d be better off without her. Oh it’s Stassi’s birthday. This year no big trip was paid for Bravo and Stassi is stuck with a wine tasting with a bunch of no named waitstaff. One douchebag announces the he and his douchette just got their “second tier wedding invitation” to Scheana’s wedding. Apparently, she did not have enough positive responses to the first wave so she is inviting her less intimate friends now. Vail is mortified by all the shit talking going on at the table. Stassi and Katie were not invited to the wedding. #SourGrapes

Jax’ girlfriend, Tiffany, hooked the boys up with suites and the VIP treatment in San Diego. All the Toms, and Peter join him. Tiffany has already heard about Vail and is not thrilled. Tiffany is an idiot, the only one with any sense is the girl that dumped Jax for dating other people.  They are staying at the Hard Rock and the promotion is flagrant so I guess the whole “Tiffany made the trip happen” is bulllshit to explain the suites and all the free booze. They begin the afternoon with a bottle of tequila and a bottle of vodka which they chug straight from the bottle. Continue reading

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Lisa Vanderpump Puts Andy Cohen in The Hotseat!

This is the infamous interview Lisa Vanderpump did with Andy where she makes the comment that pissed off at lot of her gay fans.  That is really all I heard about it and I never sought it out on Youtube.

But it is REALLY good. She makes Andy squirm. Andy all but admits he knows about Jax past life as an escort. He admits his attraction to Tom Sandoval, but clearly Tom lost points showing up on whatever he was on ALLEGEDLY on his last WWHL appearance. Continue reading

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