In other things I have been too busy sleeping to blog about news, Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney got married last Wednesday. The ceremony took place in Cromberg, CA at an outdoor wedding venue. Cromberg is a long way from Beverly Hills so I imagine most everyone opted for a flight to nearby Reno, NV rather than an 8 plus hour car ride each way.
Lisa Vanderpump was the officiant. Stassi was not just in the wedding, but the maid of honor! Followed by Brittany, Scheana, Kristen and perhaps one of Katies real friends. What? No Ariana? On the groom’s side, Sandoval appears to be the best man, or perhaps co-best man as Jax was right next to him. Tamara Tattles spies report that Ariana was actually a groomswoman on Tom’s side. Because, weird. There is some sort of storyline about how this all gets played out.
UPDATE: Scheana’s rep has released the following statement.
“The [Shays] have never received a complaint from a fellow neighbor or building management relating to marijuana smoke stemming from their residence. However, there was a recent issue with a neighboring apartment, which was vacated in December 2015, that had received many complaints. While the [Shays] do have a black cat, their pet has never been allowed outside access. The cat in question belongs to another resident in the building. It should also be noted that all neighbors sharing a wall with the complainant neighbor have been named in the lawsuit against the landlord, security patrol, property management, etc., seeking a greatly reduced rent.”
When I saw the TMZ headline that a #PumpRules cast member was being sued for puffing up the whole damn floor of their apartment building, I had no idea which SURver to choose. Frankly, none of them would surprise me. Remember when Scheana gave her husband permission to keep smoking weed and drinking a little? Well, according to her neighbor she’s a big ole pothead. So is she bulimic too? Because don’t pot heads get the munchies a lot? She is very, very thin. I’m just saying.
A guy who shares a wall with Scheana and his family that includes young kids are constantly gagging on the smoke that somehow gets in his apartment.
He has filed a civil suit against Scheana claiming that he has suffered damages from all the smoke, and I’d assume he mentions health concerns for the kids as well. He is also suing his landlord for damages related to the habitability of his apartment.
Peter has a dad bod.
Sandoval thinks it is cute and funny to rub his naked ass all over Sandoval when he is passed out.
LVP has 8 dogs, 8 swans, 7 turtles and two mini-horses.
The Toms both think that they are “building modeling careers.”
Kristen and James sought out a Crystal Therapist to heal their relationship.
I was shocked to see this show in my DVR tonight. I honestly thought we already did this. I even checked my last post about this reunion and it was indeed part two. So, Here we go again. I’m really more excited about the premiere of Southern Charm, so I apologize in advance for rushing and not going into a transcription of the fights. I am obsessed with James’ shady mother though. If you missed the details on that go here.
Stassi versus Lisa Vanderpump
These two argue over the sex tape. Lisa says that she was doing Stassi a huge favor by paying of the guy with the tape and she expected some asskissing and gratitude for the $900 she gave the guy. Well, we all know money is tight for LVP so, I can see that. She still suing her lawyers after that loss of millions of dollars.
On the other hand Stassi says she said not to pay the guy anything if they didn’t get the tape. Um, DUH! So LVP just gave the guy $900 to keep him quiet and let him run off with the tape? She’s really not very good at this. Stassi tries to speak and LVP turns to her and sharply says, “Shut up.” If you missed this post about how LVP treats “the help” it’s a must read for smart people. There is nothing in writing with the guy, and LVP did the whole transaction without discussing it with Stassi.
There was a ridiculous discussion going on about how James treats women and how it affected Lala’s life and other relationships going on that no one cares about. While that raucous discussion was going on. Pinky grabs the back of Andy’s chair and leans in and says, “I don’t lick Ken’s ass. Am I missing something?” Andy looks EXTREMELY uncomfortable and says no. Is Pinky plastered? Last episode Andy was practically begging for some alcohol. I mean they are in a bar. I’m sure he could use a shot.
Kristen Doute was on Heather McDonald’s podcast, Juicy Scoop
, recently and a few people kept saying I should check it out. My thoughts are, look, I can’t even keep up with all of the TV shows I’m trying to watch and I’m a professional TV watcher. But today, I hear that on the show, Kristen talks about how James’ shady mother stole her credit card and used it for a Botox treatment! And she gives all kinds of tea about working at SUR.
So I start to listen to the Podcast and Heather goes into this whole long story about her sister that she has been telling over the course of several podcasts. Normally if someone gives me a time on a podcast I just skip to whatever is blog worthy because …ain’t nobody got time for all these damn podcasts. But Heather had me from crazy sister and I listened mesmerized to the whole thing. It was about 20 minutes and by the time Kristen came on, I really didn’t even want her to because I wanted more crazy sister story! It’s really good.
So Kristen talks about getting her first job at SUR right when she moved down to LA from Michigan to try her hand at acting. She says for the first year and a half, both Lisa and Ken would call her “girl” when ordering her around. I can so totally see this.
Vanderpump Rules put up some great numbers this season and the numbers just kept on growing. For that reason, we have a three part reunion. Even though it could all be covered in a half an hour.
On look, it’s Andy. Ugh. Andy wants to talk about James showing up half nekkid to SUR showing off is um…”sex wounds.” I don’t know why anyone cares about this. Thanks to you guys, now all I can see is everyone’s bad makeup. When I recap, I am not watching the screen that much so I was not as distracted last week.
Next more of the James, Jax, Lala triangle that is more of a giant polygon. James wants to be Jax, blah, blah, blah.
Andy keeps going on and on Katie and Schwartz’s sex life. All I really want to know is what is Katie thinking with that hair? Every season it is some sort of catastrophe! Remember the season her hair was orange? Why doesn’t she look back on that season and realize she needs a really good hairdresser who will not listen to her AT ALL, and fix her hair. She’s a pretty girl. She just makes terrible hair choices. This season she wants to do things to the top back part of her head, where a bump it would be if she was Snooki. I just don’t’ get it.
Britanny is out with the gang now. I am not buying her southern hick routine. I do not believe anyone in this day and age does not Google a guy before they move three thousand miles to live with them. I mean I Google someone I am meeting for a coffee! These two actually seem to be for real though as far as the relationship goes. They are traveling all over the country together in the filming off season. Andy asks Britanny if she got the boobs she wanted or the boobs Jax wanted. He asks her this every time he sees her. Andy is so totally obsessed with boobs. Straight men are not this obsessed with boobs. It is literally all he wants to talk about with her. They do get to mention that they have moved out of the studio apartment. A lot of them have to keep their shitty apartments as part of their contract. Because the series is supposed to be about restaurant employees. They were only making 30 some odd thousand dollars for their first season and they are not paid like housewives even now. They are not even paid like Teen Moms. But the do a LOT of Vegas parties and promotional things year round so they are all doing very well. Especially Jax and the Toms. This segment is literally exactly the same interview Andy did with them on #WWHL Continue reading