Original artwork by David Gilmore, PrettyontheOutside.com

Okay remember yesterday when we talked about the ridiculousness that is Adrienne Maloof’s new boytoy?  You know, yesterday when we were wondering what someone in the middle of a child custody case was doing hanging out with a guy whose biggest claim to fame is being a heroin addict on Celebrity Rehab, and a wild little man child on some reality show even we didn’t watch? That guy with no actual job that anyone knows about who was arrested just five years ago for assaulting a married couple with a brick?  Remember now? Well forget all that.Adrienne, in a rare …oh wait, Adrienne, who has TMZ and Radar Online on speed dial has called up Harvey Levin over at TMZ to set us all straight on the facts. Adrienne tells TMZ that “she met 32-year-old Sean very recently through a mutual friend. Sean had wanted  to pitch her a business idea and the two just hit it off.” Oh! So, Sean is a bidnizman now. And Adrienne, whose financial empire is collapsing all around her, is entertaining young men whose businesses need financing. Apparently, we were misled about Sean and he is really hiding an acute business acumen from the general public. Continue reading »

On WWHL Mike seems to be trying to avoid the discussion of where exactly the diamond is in what Andy calls the big vat of Diamond water. Mike seems uncomfortable so Andy goes right to Kandi’s engagement! He asks if they have a date in mind and he asks if she would like to share. She says she doesn’t want to say it outloud because she doesn’t want anyone to steal her date! Andy laughs saying you are referring to Kim stealing your baby name. Kandi tries to pretend she was kidding.

Mike looks even hotter than usual tonight in his LA scarf indoors look. He says that everything is going great with the new girlfriend (On tonight’s episode of Shahs he took her home to meet his mother and it went better than expected. I just decided not to recap it.) Andy seems to have noticed the girlfriend wore a leather dress to Shabbat dinner. It didn’t catch my eye. Even weirder Mike is saying it was a two thousand dollar dress. Why would he even know that? I suppose it was a Bravo wardrobe job. Look I know plenty of rich people and they are not wearing two thousand dollar dresses to dinner with the boyfriend’s parents. Ridiculousness. Ah Mike is now saying he bought her the dress because Persian men take care of their women. Mike is that guy you know is schmarmy but you just can’t help but like him. Continue reading »

I watched the first 15 minutes of RHOA earlier today and I have to say if the last 45 are not more interesting, we’ve got a problem. I am tired of Kenya, I am tired of these women talking about their asses every week on national TV.  Cynthia’s talking heads were so rough edited I can’t believe anything they say. Are they just chopping her words together to make it look like Kenya has an ally? I find this new fast friendship between these two hard to believe. How much of a bonus did Cynthia get for pretending to put up with her.

Seriously, I just can’t recap tonight if it is all about fat butts. Ah, the Runway Red charity event! This should at least be interesting. Phaedra of course thinks that Ayden just has to walk the runway. Ayden ain’t having it. Phaedra needs to put 12 birthday cakes at the end of the runway and watch how fast that boy learns to walk. Ayden seems a bit um… let’s say he really seems to favor his mother. Cynthia is saying she is using ten models from her agency and the rest she got from an open call. In the real world this is a celebrity kids fashion show. The term celebrity is applied very loosely, but that is the whole point of the event. Outside of the modeling practice, Phaedra just starts slandering the heck out of Kenya saying she has a drinking problem, a chemical imbalance, she is bipolar and needs Lithium. Dang Phaedra, you liked Kenya two episodes ago. You may have been late to the Kenya bashing party but you are going big.

Photo Credit: Talking With Tami Twitter

Now we pretend that Kenya has a production designer in Atlanta. Oh and we pretend that he did four weeks of pre-production on the Donkey Bootie video. sigh. I am so tired of pretending. The poor production guy is just standing there watching Kandi and Kenya argue about the booty video in front of a giant black butt.  I think Bravo production is laughing at all of us for watching this crap.Apollo and Phaedra go to meet with an actual producer. The producer says he thinks the whole donkey bootie video is hilarious. Phaedra is name dropping Jane Fonda.  Both producers are laughing about the donkey bootie name. They are name dropping back. Phaedra and Apollo cannot afford these guys. They will end up using Todd. Apollo demonstrates the video moves and it appears they are making a porn. The male producers seemed at once appalled and aroused.

Phaedra, Porsha, Nene, and Kenya front row at the Runway Red Fashion Show Photo Credit: Prince Williams Altpic.net

These shows are turning into 55 minutes of boredom with a five minute staged fight at the end. I’m trying to anticipate this week’s fight. I guess a Phaedra and Kenya showdown. Meanwhile Phaedra and Porsha are at a teahouse talking about Kenya. Yawn. This is the most boring recap in the world because this episode is snoozeville.

At the fashion show, Apollo ends up carrying Ayden down the runway on his shoulder. Kenya is screaming about twirling and then reverting back to her usual sour puss. Apparently this i because Porsha and Phaedra are having a good time together. After the show, Nene seems to be supporting Kenya. How long until Nene sees the light, y’all? Phaedra walks up on the awkward conversation and we get our Phaedra and Kandi confrontation.

Photo Credit : Yvonne Villareal Twitter

Say what you will about Nene Leakes, but I have to admit I was looking forward to seeing her on the Red Carpet. I hope I haven’t missed her, I was not really into the red carpet this years so I have been watching DVRed shows and waiting for Nene to tweet that she had “arrived.” LOL. She did just that about 15 minutes ago so I am very impatiently awaiting a glimpse of what she is wearing. She is so excited about this night that I can’t help being excited for her. Continue reading »

Hello? Is it tea you’re looking for? Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven’t got a clue.. but for the next beer or two I will answer you questions about others (but NEVAH about me) till I start to see double and shuffle off to bed in a sad lonely heap. Ready, set, go! I’m going to add a page break because WordAds won”t give me ads on my front page …

IF YOU NEST COMMENTS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM NOT SEARCHING FOR THEM TO ANSWER. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE JUST ASK AT THE BOTTOM! #IDIOTS Continue reading »

Um, I am trying to go for less hate and vitriol here in 2013, but I just have to say that if make-up makes that much of a difference, I suppose I should put effort into putting some on. Because…um… yeah.