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Um, there has been so much weirdness on my twitter timeline today, I am not sure how to respond. But since @realoldhouswife tweeted a story in Jezebel about Alex and Simon from RHONY I am compelled to share it with you lest I be icked out over here all by myself. Apologies in advance. Remember when Alex and Simon wrote that parenting book? Did you rush out to buy it? Well, apparently neither did anyone else or we would have been forced to visualize this scene before now. Honestly, you probably want to stop reading now. Really. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. In their book, Little Kids, Big City Simon and Alex describe the birth of their son François thusly:
Once he was finally out of my body, I experienced a tsunami of endorphins that was almost orgasmic, and I understand completely the stories other women have written about ecstatic birth. Simon was sitting behind me at the point of birth, and later when we untangled ourselves he discovered he’d actually ejaculated though hadn’t felt any of the normal lead-up to that. It may seem distasteful to some, and definitely neither of us was thinking of sex at the time, but with the rush of emotion and my lower nerve endings going crazy, it’s not too far a stretch to say that it’s a profound experience.
Um…I don’t know what to say about that. Thoughts?
