Tonight’s disclaimer about why this recap will suck is sponsored by well brand tequila. It is also my excuse for more typos than usual and my late start. I was gardening today and craved a margarita. I am NOT allowed to drink tequila it usually makes me cry. Tonight I had TWO margaritas. Now two drinks don’t phase me at all but two TEQUILA drinks make me all fuzzy headed and my shoulder blades hurt. I went to get dinner which I am no longer interested in and it’s in the fridge for tomorrow. I had a great time reading my book at the bar for the first one, but two was one too many.
So apologies for my lateness. And let’s do this. I admit part of my unusual desire for hard liquor was having to recap this crapfest tonight. I have no idea what is real anymore on this show.
Mike and Reza go to a cigar bar. I hate Reza even more because Xanadude hates him. It make me feel better about being disgusted by him. I respect Xanadude’s opinion. Even his polar opposite political ones. You can learn a lot from X. I’m just saying. (I warned you about the tequila).
I also make fun of Californians a lot. I am going to play the some of my favorite people are Californians. Including one cranky guy from San Francisco who is currently probably mad at me. But I have to mock them here once again because I just don’t get why they wear winter ski caps in LA. I get the whole bad hair day possibility but there have to be other hat options than winter wear. Anyway, this scene is about Mike crawling back to Reza. Whatever. I should point out that it hurts my heart a bit not to like Reza anymore. We had some great conversations online before season one aired.
This episode of Shahs of Sunset is only the second one and already I am tired of the battle between Mercedeh and Asa that will resume in this episode over the affections of Reza. Reza is a scumbag, misogynist who women and THE gays (Capitalized to emphasis for those that the term “the gays” bothers) can no longer abide. Sure there are women (like Bethenny Frankel, based on her Talk Show) who love him and gays who fuck him, me and mine are not fans. So to have the storyline be two women clamoring for the affections of Reza for another season is going to annoy the fuck out of me. MJ, is MJ. But Asa Soltan Rahmati I hold to a higher accountability. Le sigh.
I am also behind because it took me all day to research THIS STORY about Bethenny Frankel, because apparently no one else could be bothered. So I am behind, and irritable and will not do WWHL with Mike Shouhed until tomorrow because WWHL is a PITA to recap. #Apologies.
On to tonights’ episode…
This used to be one of my favorite Bravo shows, but just the previews alone are irritating to me. GG wakes up at Shervin’s where she slept in his bed and he slept on the couch. She wakes up in full makeup with a camera crew. Come on Ryan Seacrest! And just look at her pitiful wrist with less than an inch of gold bangles. It’s all just a super disappointment at this point.
It seems like forever since we have had an episode of Shahs of Sunset. Hell Mike and Jessica have gotten married and divorced since the last season. Speaking of Jessica, she is still dealing with that man with the rape allegations. Someone sent me a like to her on a podcast with the guy from The Dirty where she says something like “he has always been nice to her.” Um really? This chick has the worst judgment in men I have ever seen. I thought my picker was broke, but this girl just needs to leave the men alone before she gets hurt or worse. Personally, I’ve found life to me much easier with having to deal with some man on a regular basis. If you are with someone who has been CHARGED WITH RAPE someone needs to fucking intervene. Has her family disowned her? How do you justify that in your head?
Let’s hope MJ’s new fiancée is someone who will be good to her. I really want her to be happy. I’m really looking forward to seeing Belize this season, as I have never been there. I really should start exploring South America. And I want to see Asa doing ANYTHING. I adore her.
We open with a scene of Reza sleeping alone with his dog. Reza admits that he sabotaged his relationship last season by being a whore at his bachelor party, and cancelling the wedding. He says he got more therapy and things are much better now between him and Adam now but it has been a long road. But that doesn’t stop Reza from (jokingly?) being an asshole. I can tell you that friends and family who constantly pick because they think they are being funny will drive that person away. No one wants to be constantly picked at. Reza is still harassing him for sex. I do like Reza’s to do list which is basically have sex and buy gold. I think that is an excellent plan for most anyone.
Here is the key to the photo above Clockwise from Reza: Reza, Shervin, GG, MJ’s date?. MJ, Maybe Adam? (he is BFF with Asa this season), and Mike.
The Shahs of Sunset are filming Season 5’s finale in Belize right now and I actually have a spy down there. I know! I can’t believe it either. She is trying to get more of the scoop for us! They have been there since at least Thursday. The photo above is from Guava Limb Cafe in Cayo, Belize. We know that Mike, Reza, Asa, MJ, Shervin and GG are all there (MJ is a blond now, GG has super black hair). I guessing that the guy to the right of Asa is Adam.
GET CAUGHT UP ON WHAT YOU MISSED LAST SEASON ON SHAHS OF SUNSET HERE!
In addition to the Guava Limb Café, the gang has been enjoying the Mayan Ruins and clubbing at Thirsty Thursday which is a local bar. Continue reading
Last time Reza shaved his mustache was in January 2014. Until Bethenny. Then on the last reunion.
Bravo issued a press release today where Reza Farahan and Tabitha Coffey get new spin offs. It just goes to show that abrasive personalities get the Bravo dollahs!
I’ll let ya’ll do the purple penning on this one. Here is the PR:
“These three projects support the network’s commitment to provide high-quality content and innovative formats that connect with our loyal upscale audience,” said Lara Spotts, Senior Vice President of Development for Bravo Media. “We are continuing to diversify our slate by adding to our already ambitious original programming line-up with fresh new areas and genres.” Continue reading
It’s time for the last half of Shahs of Sunset Reunion. If you missed the first part you can get caught up here!
We pick up with Reza’s walk out where he goes outside because he is over heated. He is ready to be done. It almost sounds like they are forcing him to be mean to Mike, who her refers to as “the poor guy on the hotseat.” He says next you are going to bring Jessica out and we have to go through it all again! Let’s finish it! Indeed, Reza. Let’s finish it.
Oh we are going to talk about MJ and Charlie. I wonder if they will mention he was full of shit and dating someone else the whole time. MJ says she is not with Charlie anymore. He lied about his business (he doesn’t have one) and he cheated with a lot of different girls (again my sources say he had a serious girlfriend at the time who knew he was faking for the show.) GG is pissed at Charlie for taking advantage of MJ. Asa seems to be having a strange response. Possibly because MJ is not exactly telling the truth.
GG talks about Danny. Oh she is already seeing someone else and still sleeping with Danny. She’s a maneater.
Jessica is still texting the fuck out of Mike while he is on set.
Dumb Asisfa and Bobby stuff. Asifa is very dramatic. Bobby and Asifa are mostly broken up. Bobby thinks it is all Asifa’s fault. Tons of rehashing. Andy basically tries to force them to break up today. Asifa still hasn’t moved out. Everyone encourages her to move out. Continue reading