It’s time for Shahs of Sunset and it is going to be more Rezacentric than usual. I’ve noticed fewer and fewer comments on this show lately. Are y’all still out there? I don’t think I can quit this one. I was too committed to it at the time I started this blog. I interviewed most of the cast (I was new and didn’t realize what a bad idea it was getting to know the Bravo crowd) and did tons of research and spoiling and I feel like this one I have to ride out. So get on the ride with me people!
Reza stops over to see Mike and give him some groceries and basically check up on him. Reza lectures Mike about staying out of the clubs and trying to work on his marriage. Mike really did try eventually to win Jessica back. But it was too late, she was already with some guy charged with rape, who is nicer to her than Mike was.
Later, Mike meets Jessica in a restaurant to talk over some still drinks. Mike tries to remind her of the good times. Jessica says that Mike is obsessed with money and thinks that “providing for her” means buying her stuff. In her talking head, she says they had “underlying trust issues” before the marriage. That’s as close as we will probably get to any mention of Mike’s cheating. After much awkward silence, Jessica leaves.
The new week of recapping begins again with a new episode of Shahs of Sunset!
GG is going to be the Yolanda of this season of Shahs. We are starting the miracle treatments this episode. We begin with GG and Reza in a salt water pool at a local spa. While these two soak in each others funk (the thought of being in a bath with Reza skeeves me out!) GG informs us that the next step in her journey to find a cure is chemo. Oh joy!!
Shervin is apparently a full cast member with his own scenes this season. His mom is in town and cooking for him, and his not exactly at date, GG. Shervin has the best house out of all of them. I wonder what his real job is. Shervin’s mom wants him to get married. He is ready for that but he doesn’t have any one in mind. He needs to start dating different types of women.
Shervin goes on a date with a blond named Annalise. She’s an Italian from Australia. Shervin can’t stop mocking her accent and making jokes about Australia. She’s not interested.
We are back on Shahs of Sunset for an intervention with Golnesa. While I am sure an intervention with GG, could be beneficial if she would listen (she won’t) no one ever did this with Mike Shouhed. In fact most of them will be drunk out of their minds at this “intervention.” I’m not really sure that is how they are supposed to work.
Sidenote: Welcome back if you have been trying to get on the site over the weekend and failed. I attempted to take some time off and the server decided to do the same since I was not hovering over it all the time. I am still not sure why it happened and there seems to be some things that are taking a bit of time to recover. So if you get a chance, hit some of the tags or categories below the posts and check out other pages. Have zero page views is going to mess up a lot of things and freak out my advertisers.
As they show how drunk and obnoxious almost all of them were last week, this whole script seems more ridiculous than usual. I don’t see how Asa deals with all of these people. Speaking of Asa, she is in the Winnie making some seafood while Reza grills outside. I remember years ago in one of my very first blogs about Asa talking about how she would go to the park in Germany as a kid and they would grill out. Some idiot tried to inform me that Iranians didn’t grill out. Which is ridiculous. Maybe I used the term BBQ which is what we call it in the south. That term to me means cooking meat outside over fire. It has nothing to do with a bottle of barbecue sauce. It’s pretty universal over most if not all cultures since the beginning of fire. Asa is cooking shrimp on aluminum foil. Never cook with aluminum pans or aluminum foil.
Filed under Asa Soltan Rahmati, Asifa Mirza, Dumbasses, Entertainment News, Golnesa Gharachedaghi, Lilly Ghalichi, Mercedeh Javid, Mike Shouhed, Reza Farahan, Shahs of Sunset, Tehrangeles
I am ready for this episode of Shahs of Sunset with a fresh batch of Sangria on an empty tummy. I know, I know my anxiety keeps trying to creep back in and it makes me not hungry. So I make up for all of the extra calories with high calorie alcoholic drinks.
Asa’s kaftans are really taking off. I get tons of people asking me about them all the time. She has a website and a twitter, y’all. I am TOTALLY team Asa’s mom about being a model. Older ladies want kaftans more than anyone, Asa! Also, her dad announces they have order number 2,000. Which is a great milestone, but also one long past, she sells out everything she puts up. Great job, Asa!
We see a great photoshoot for her kaftan line. It’s stunning.
Sigh. GG is the requisite health story for this Bravo reality show. Asa brings her Iranian green sauce over to see GG. I WANT SOME. I want to be BFF’s with Asa and have her feed me something every week. GG tells a very mild story about how she treated MJ last week regarding MJ’s relationship with Tommy. GG is in charge of being the catalyst of the camping trip we are about to go on. I am wrong in thinking that GG is the one who DOESN’T like camping the last time we did this? Yes, yes I am, it’s MJ who hates camping.
Tonight’s disclaimer about why this recap will suck is sponsored by well brand tequila. It is also my excuse for more typos than usual and my late start. I was gardening today and craved a margarita. I am NOT allowed to drink tequila it usually makes me cry. Tonight I had TWO margaritas. Now two drinks don’t phase me at all but two TEQUILA drinks make me all fuzzy headed and my shoulder blades hurt. I went to get dinner which I am no longer interested in and it’s in the fridge for tomorrow. I had a great time reading my book at the bar for the first one, but two was one too many.
So apologies for my lateness. And let’s do this. I admit part of my unusual desire for hard liquor was having to recap this crapfest tonight. I have no idea what is real anymore on this show.
Mike and Reza go to a cigar bar. I hate Reza even more because Xanadude hates him. It make me feel better about being disgusted by him. I respect Xanadude’s opinion. Even his polar opposite political ones. You can learn a lot from X. I’m just saying. (I warned you about the tequila).
I also make fun of Californians a lot. I am going to play the some of my favorite people are Californians. Including one cranky guy from San Francisco who is currently probably mad at me. But I have to mock them here once again because I just don’t get why they wear winter ski caps in LA. I get the whole bad hair day possibility but there have to be other hat options than winter wear. Anyway, this scene is about Mike crawling back to Reza. Whatever. I should point out that it hurts my heart a bit not to like Reza anymore. We had some great conversations online before season one aired.
Why are his hands so pink?
It’s WWHL with Mike Shouhed and one of those women from Potomac. Is that show still on? Do we drink every time she brings up race in random conversation?
Right away Mike is slurring his words and is clearly wasted. He also is dating someone. What the hell is wrong with women? What about Mike could possibly be on your checklist for men worth your time?
Why does Andy’s tie ALWAYS hang like a bent penis? Every single night.
Oddly, the RHOP lady is talking about someone always being drunk on camera during filming while Mike is trying not to sway in his seat.
Andy calls out Mike for playing with his hair while looking at his reflection in the camera lens. Mike says the divorce is in the six month “cooling off period” they have in California. He says he and Jessica are in a cordial place. They were together for five years and met when she was 21. That is a lot of cheating. And she still married him. She is not seeking spousal support. Because he has no money anyway. Jessica gave the ring back. I presume to the jeweler who got the advertising. Mike says he doesn’t care who she is dating because, ” Look at me! They’re lining up!” So charming this one. Mike seems to be saying that she gave the ring back so he could use it to pay off the wedding. Why the hell did she give the ring back? They got married. It was not a broken engagement. The ring is hers.