Well, we are back in Paradise and everyone is miserable. Reza is off his diet and Jefferson has arrived. Why don’t Reza and Jefferson just get married. Bobby and Asifa left and returned to LA. The arrival of Jefferson and the departure of Asifa has completely turned the mood around. GG and MJ and some dude pretended to be Muslim so that Reza could remind us of his Anti-Islamic feelings. If you recall in Turkey he spent half the trip mocking the Muslims and the veil. Because, asshole. They tolerate Scientology in Beverly Hills, a fake religion where they all believe they are from another planet, and you can’t show respect for a religion that has been around thousands of years? Isn’t half of his family Muslim? I’m ignoring GG’s talking head.
Reza gets a suit made in Thailand. Mike is getting a suit and a tuxedo made in Beverly Hills. Reza says he is missing Adam. Mike tells his brother he is missing Reza. Mike says he is going to invite Reza to his wedding.
The gang goes for a fish pedicure. I want to get one of those. I could feed them for days. MJ brings up the obligatory fake storyline between Asa and her. Then it is off to boxing. Reza does not know how to behave anywhere. It’s so embarrassing. Then they are off to seek out the “lady boys” aka transsexuals. Reza is thrilled and gets up to work the poll with the strippers. Reza horn-dogged his depression away. Continue reading
Reza and Adam
We begin tonight’s Shahs of Sunset with Reza and Adam getting a marriage license. How do destination weddings work? I thought you had to file in the country where you get married. How will an LA wedding license work in Thailand? Are they going to legally marry at the courthouse before or after the trip? I wonder how the applications would be now that gay marriage is relatively new and government paperwork takes so long to catch up. Adam asks Reza if he is the bride or the groom. Then he asks if he wants to take Reza’s name he has to do it now? Reza is freaking out and sucking on an inhaler. Adam is talking about having kids. Reza is threatening to bolt.
MJ and Asa are at an exercise class. Asa wants to get in shape for bikinis in Thailand and MJ wants an opportunity to dress up like Olivia Newton John in public which of course would be incomplete without wearing support hose. Asa is having a serious conversation about the joint bachelor party they are supposed to be planning. But MJ is more concerned with her outfit. She could care less about this party because she is planning a sleazeball party for Reza and not telling Asa about. This season MJ and Asa were clearly told to fight over Reza. MJ is being a good little production soldier while Asa is just responding in kind because it’s her job. Asa is planning a safari chic party with strippers with animal tails. Her party is at a vineyard/animal safari. Because those are clearly everywhere in California. Continue reading
Shahs of Sunset Season 4
We pick up with Jessica gone and everyone throwing on a swim suit and getting in the pool and getting drunk. I hope those cups are plastic. Everything is going along great. With Jessica gone, Mike is a whole new person, or perhaps the old Mike, once Jessica was sent home.
Reza is having worse hair issues than Nene Leakes this season. It’s really bad.
I love that they have a bartender and a cook. Asifa doesn’t like Iranian food. Asa doesn’t like chicken liver. I LOVE chicken liver. I also love Iranian/Middle Eastern food. Mike tells his arch-enemy Bobby and Asifa and Shervin about his proposal plan. That should go well.
MJ and Jefferson talk about the competing bachelor parties. They are in charge of Reza’s MJ wants to get Reza laid.
Asifa manages to insult the other Bobby, not her Bobby and when he smarts off back to her Asifa and her Bobby start acting like assholes. Asifa’s Bobby is going to get his ass beat. Asifa started all the shit and now Bobby is somehow racist because he referred to Asifa as some Indian girl. WTF? Reza and Asa are on the wrong side of this argument. I predict they will realize what cunt buckets Asifa and Bobby are as filming goes on. They seem to always pick the wrong pony early on in the season. Asifa is such a little whiner. Continue reading
Shahs of Sunset Season 4
I just realized how much I’ve missed this show. I hate that the production strike delayed things so long because this season is supposed to be super good and filled with drama! Perhaps the wait will give the presumed bride to be a bit of time to reconsider her decision? I mean take a page from Reza and his fiancé who are not in a hurry to marry.
Reza and Asa are going gold shopping. I am not sure where this store is, but I want to find it. Reza is buying a Rolex and he will get a better deal than what they are saying on air for promotional consideration (there is more of that on this show than any other) still. I am surprised those watches are only $35K.
Anyway, this is all to say that Asa parents are moving in with her while she has their house renovated. And Reza’s man’s parents are coming to town or something. Sorry. I was distracted by the gold.
Mike drops by his parents with chocolates and champagne shows them the engagement ring he bought for Jessica. Continue reading
Lily Ghalichi had been back in the rags lately. She recently became engaged to Dhar Mann after a very brief courtship. I thought perhaps she had rented a boyfriend to try to stay on Shahs. However, Dhar Mann is a legit extremely wealthy entrepreneur who has own several extremely successful businesses including a huge medical marijuana company called WeGrow. He sold that business last year and now runs some sort of Jet Set company that has something to do with a fleet of luxury vehicles. Oh, he’s also a felon. He was convicted of five felony counts of fraud according to Wikipedia and was given five years of probation and ordered to pay restitution. #FelonsByBravo Whatever. He’s HOT. Continue reading
As much as I like these ridiculous Bravo shows, they always seem to just drag on forever. For the first time in the history of Bravo, the Shahs finale seemed like a nice happy ending. All of the storylines were wrapped up. Everyone pretended to kiss and make up. That should have been the end.
But, no. We are still driving the hilariously stupid gold them into the ground with a reunion at a dinner table. Let’s see if some dumps a plate of tahdig on anyone in this episode.
Andy asks Reza what the hell he was thinking screaming the word faggot at people in a gay club. He says that the guy was talking about Iran like it was Club Med. Um, flashback to 80’s resorts with rampant STDs. Plus the guy was not doing that at all. He talked about missing his family and not being able to see them. Now MJ is joining in to defend Reza and both are saying that FOB is perfectly fine. As far as I am concerned it is perfectly fine if your intent is to insult someone, it’s as good an insult as any. What is not perfectly fine is the two of them acting as if it is a term of endearment. They are both delusional. Just say, “I didn’t like the guy, I called him an FOB, and it’s really not that big of a deal!” But no. That can never happen. Reza and MJ both just seem to try to look like assholes. Reza seems to get it after the tenth question that he needs to apologize and shut up. Continue reading