Winner of the 2013 Most Photo Shopped Picture Award
I know I said I was done with this shit show last week, and I meant it. But I am amused by this “special time” for this episode. You see, Shahs as not been pulling in the ratings this season. As the former number one fan of this show in season one, I became disillusioned by season two. As you saw last week, I vowed to abandon the show entirely, and hell I still watch Vanderpump Rules! That ridiculous Thicker Than Water show usually has the 9 pm Sunday night slot. It’s a coveted spot because of the RHOA lead in. Thicker than Water has been beating the pants of in the ratings so Bravo decided to give the slot to Shahs of Sunset to see if that would help. Frankly, we all have so many Sunday night shows to choose from I don’t understand how Bravo gets any viewers on Sunday nights anymore. My point is, when a show is moved out of it’s time slot, it means Bravo is nervous about ratings and is ultimately trying to flush the season as quickly as possible. Shahs second airing did not happen until 1 am, after RHOA had three airings.
That said, let the shit show begin. We begin with Mike wondering WTF is wrong with Reza. Mike realizes Reza’s behavior is embarrassing everyone. Mike is uncomfortable with Reza being on the gay pride float for the gay bar that he insulted and embarrassed everyone in the night before. Mike calls Reza and tells him he doesn’t think it is a good idea for Reza to be on the float. Reza is a smartass (shocker) and says “You’ve become the ambassador for the float, I’m very happy for you.” Reza says who are you to call and uninvited me to a disgusting float that is an embarrassment to the gay community. WAIT WHAT? This as yet unseen float is the embarrassment to the gay community and not the dude as big as a gay pride float all by himself whose hobbies include smelling armpits, using the word faggot to out people who clearly are comfortable in the closet, and generally insulting all of his “friends” on national TV ? Good GOD Reza is delusional. Mike is pissed. Continue reading
Seriously? I feel like the person who has to report to Burger King on a holiday. How much longer are we going to watch this shit? Can’t we just talk about The Blacklist and AHS:Coven and Scandal and Revenge and ….. just better TV? But here we go, because Bravo has you all so sucked in that you cannot, will not, venture out.
Mike and Reza go to some hairloss facility to try and keep Mike from going bald. Because Persians are know the world over for being practically hairless. Much like Armenians. Clearly this is a moment of crisis. Next the dermatologist comes in to explain Mike has flaky ears. SIGH. Both are Iranian doctors. No infomercial here at all. Continue reading
Sigh. I am harkening back to the day when this used to be exciting and fun! I would chat with you about things on the teevee and we would laugh and laugh but it just keeps getting more and more ridiculous and I think we all need to travel more. Stop what you are doing a book a fucking trip somewhere. ANYWHERE. Because we are NOT amused by this shit anymore. We have reached our limits. Enough already.
Okay, every year, GG goes white water rafting? Um. REALLY? Okay I will suspend disbelief and not mention that Bravo is paying for the fucking rafting trip. Let’s get on with it, #YAWN
GG is exactly right. I guess MJ had to get the bad edit/storyline eventually. Reza and MJ are going for facials. MJ is in love with her gay. Girl??? You have to get yourself a straight man. Reza LIES (are you shocked?) to get MJ to the white water rafting trip with GG’s family. Of course we must suspend disbelief again. Also, MJ is getting her “facial” in full on Tammy Faye Baker makeup. Because that is what we all wear to get a facial. Triple lashes, three inches of foundation and slut red lipstick. I just can’t. I love you MJ, but you are getting totally ridiculous. Continue reading
I am so mesmerized by the David Blaine Magic Show I could barely pull myself away for this nonsense, but I have it taping so I can get back to it. I woke up the other morning thinking about Asa’s water bottle issues. Yes, I know. Also, I hate there opening song and wish it was Tehrangeles. Asa is the only Bravolebrity whose music I actually really like. Oddly, I don’t have a single thing other than my laptop that plays music in this house. I should probably fix that.
Reza who thrust Lilly up on a pedestal from the moment she was cast as “Persian Barbie” and talking about her Bentley this and that is now saying that Lilly thinks she is better than everyone else. Can you say complete 180 from last season? I knew that you could. Oh and Reza, loving friend that he is said on WWHL that GG and Sean are no longer a couple because Sean is gay. However Sean just got busted looking at some gir;s ass.
OMG! NO MJ! NO! Why are you breaking girl code and telling Sean about GG making out with Shayan? TOTALLY.NOT.COOL. GG would never do that to you! But she will cut you with a knife for doing it to her. GURRRRL! Then MJ grabs Reza and leaves. OH NO. MJ! Continue reading
I have been online friends with Asa, MJ, and at times Reza ( who blocked me last season) but I am not sure I can keep watching Shahs of Sunset. OH LORD. MJ has called Mike over to express her dogs anal glands. No. Just Noe.
OMG More just NOE. Lilly comes in to shop with GG and she said Hey Gurl Hey! I am sorry that is my special thing with @koppelformayor the my lil sis from another mother! and father. Follow her she is in Cali and has LOTS of tea! GG made out with Shayan at Lilly’s party but she has a boyfriend. Um, they were on a break. Continue reading
As long as I am up I may as well watch the screener for Shahs of Sunset. The paperwork says Reza turns 40 and moves in with Adam. MJ starts thinking about her biological clock. Mike and Reza’s work situation is not going well and Mike needs to make some decisions about his girlfriend. Asa sells her diamond water, and takes the crew to Turkey and Iran to reunite with long lost family. GG continues to be off the chain and it seems Reza has tired of playing with is new toy, “Persian Barbie” but she remains in the cast.
We should says something about Reza’s hair. Is he wearing wig as he shops for a Porshe for his 40th birthday? WTF? I immediately see why Reza and Mike’s work situation is not going to work. Reza is basically just taking half of any of Mike’s new business but not sharing his own listings. Any thoughts that Reza may have reevaluated himself after lastseason is out the window within the first five minutes. Reza is buying a used Porshe. I like that they are being real. Reza leaves with no car.
MJ continues to try to mend her relationship with her mother. I’m sorry, I know this is her mother, but sometimes you have to distance yourself from family if they are always dragging you down. MJ tries to turn her mom into Cyndi Lauper. Not going to happen. Continue reading
I am not sure if I am emotionally ready for Shah’s of Sunset to return. Long time readers here know that when this blog first began, I did stories on Shah’s before anyone else even noticed there was a show. Because I was raised in Libya, I was quite fascinated with how Bravo and Ryan Seacrest would paint a show about exiled Iranians living in the US. Of course the first thing they did was ditch the word Iranian in favor of the antiquated and not synonymous at all, Persian. Because American’s would rather think of Disney characters than you know, terrorists seeking nuclear capabilities. Reza has stated many times that he is American and doesn’t keep up with Iranian politics. Continue reading
I have had to take a looooooooong break from the Shahs after the rampant Season Twoitis of last season. I just can’t take all the meanness toward MJ. I am hoping that Bravo decides to go away from that in season three. Andy Cohen loves Reza though so I am doubtful that anyone has spoken to him about being more likable in season 3.
Filming has been ongoing for season three for quite a while. We will be suffering through a 30th birthday party for Lilly “lil bit” Ghalichi which involves numerous “glam squads” and no less than five dress changes. le sigh. Continue reading
Another thing I refused to watch last night was Shah’s of Sunset “Lost Footage.” I tweeted Bravo that I wish they had lost all the footage from season two permanently. But today, I figure if I can get through Kenya Moore singing I can get through this. I predict more footage to make MJ look bad. Let’s see…We start with Lilly shopping and Reza following her around fawning all over her. Then on to MJ’s dating. She has a lot of things on her list. A lot. Like more than me. A lot. MJ and GG have a discussion about MJ’s possible autism. They are not even as educated on the subject as Jacqueline Laurita. MJ is an airhead. Not autistic. MJ forgets what she is talking about. I can relate.
There is was too much Lily in this episode. So now it is a scene from Villa Rica. This is not a lost scene. This is a scene we wish we had not seen the first time. Reza is telling the story about how he had sex with MJ. Asa says MJ arrived in a cloud of Chardonnay.
Funny lost scene where MJ’s dog ate the prosciutto off the platter and no one noticed. Stupid lost scene with Mike and Reza comparing gay sex to hetero sex. This is a waste of film. Lilly takes Asa for a cellulite treatment. Asa and her family attempt to run a food truck. Asa’s mother complains the whole time and criticizing everyone who is actually working. Continue reading
Filed under Asa Soltan Rahmati, Bravo, Golnesa Gharachedaghi, Lilly Ghalichi, Mercedeh Javid, Mike Shouhed, Recap, Reza Farahan, Sammy Younai, Shahs of Sunset, Tehrangeles
Well, it’s time for round two of bash MJ on the Shahs of Sunset Reunion. Mike is still working with Reza in residential real estate it seems. Asa is happy that she sold out the El Rey and had to turn people to away. Asa explains her diamond water and MJ points out that it is sort of out there. Lilly chimes in to start with the MJ bashing. Asa asks MJ how much money she made in real estate last year. Andy asks GG what she thinks about diamond water and she said she doesn’t think about it. Asa talks about the fact she has supported her parents since her early twenties. Asa works very hard. Lilly just keeps chiming in and trying to get into the arguments. Asa is laughing at GG’s extension business.
Reza is taking turns glaring at MJ and rolling his eyes toward Asa and Lilly. Reza swears that MJ has only sold one condo all year. Reza is making bizarre snoring noises. It’s just ridiculous. Time for relationship talk. Andy brings up GG’s engagement. GG says that Omid was young and out partying it up so they took it back a step. Andy says to GG that Omid didn’t seem that into you on the show. Andy is not going easy on GG and MJ. Andy says that he was “digitizing her under the table at the restaurant.” Really Andy? GG says that he didn’t go any further than her thigh. Mike says she should not make a mockery of a thing like marriage. He says that Omid (who he now calls “his boy’ by the way) has been out all over town with other women while they were engaged. They didn’t spend New Years together. Andy asks if she got a ring and she said yes. Mike said it came out of a Crackerjack box. Asa is laughing. Reza says it is a fake ring. Asa says GG made up a fake engagement for publicity. Lilly says that she knows someone who hooked up with Omid the night she announced her engagement. Asa says that she is still together with Jermaine and hopes they get married. I’ll spare you the discussion of Reza’s relationship with armpits. MJ says that she and Drizzy are back trying to rekindle their relationship after some time apart. Reza starts laughing like a hyena and says people are tweeting him pictures of Drizzy at gay clubs. He says it’s a fake boyfriend and that MJ got “double stuffed” by two Jewish cousins. Even Mike steps in to say that is below the belt. Continue reading
The left side…
It’s time for the first Shah’s of Sunset reunion. I am going to this already disappointed with Reza and I imagine it will get worse. Andy asks GG why she referred to herself as “the Rosa Parks of reality TV.” GG once again claims she was misunderstood and was talking about the backlash that they got from the Persian community last season. The questions are just too stupid to recap so far.
We are going to start with Lilly. Seven minutes in and I am bored. Has Asa even been on camera yet? Lilly says she doesn’t gloat or brag. Lightning did not strike. Lilly uses her ex’s black Amex but she doesn’t need a man to take care of her because she owns her own businesses. Did that make sense to y’all? Also, how does some lawyer from Texas have a black Amex to begin with? I doubt his practice pulls in that kind of money. Lily seems to think that MJ is saying that Ali supports her so she has brought in documents to prove that she is rich. Her business made $72k in January. Um, okay. So after expenses…what is left? Oh Lord, now she is showing Andy her bills of sale for the cars she drove on the show. Andy points out that they are in Ali’s name. Essentially, Lilly came convince us that she has money, while at the same time being the first to take a swing at the MJ pinata. That’s classy. Andy says the Rolls Royce was $280K and Lilly says that she doesn’t need to brag about that. Andy rolls his eyes and says, “You Continue reading
FINALLY, I have some time to watch last weeks Shahs. I am dying to see Asa’s performance! I just needed the time to fully enjoy the episode, so here goes! We are back at Reza’s ”peace summit.” GG apologizes to Asa for the way she reacted to her anger. Asa rejects the apology and off GG goes to GGland. Asa says the word ‘wack’ eleventy billion times and leaves the house. GG is still very defensive and Mike and Reza try to teach her how to apologize.
MJ and her mother go shopping as per her therapist instructions so that her mom can practice not being critical. She literally doesn’t make it past the point where MJ parks the car. MJ’s mom suggests wearing clothes that are not so tight. I finally agree with her about something. Although she lost me when she suggested chiffon.
Young Asa in Berlin
Asa’s rehearsal is having some problems. She’s very nervous. All I really focused on was her bangles. Meanwhile, Mike goes to his parents to get their blessing on Jessica. Reza has a date with Adam and manages to make comments about white people. Again. Adam is talking marriage and Reza is not that into Adam. Perhaps it’s yet another stunt casting. Zipping through yet ANOTHER Lilly scene that is her getting hair and makeup.
Love MJ and Drizzy. So hope this is a real relationship and she is happy. I am so glad that Asa is getting so much screen time. She has gotten the main storyline in the finale on both seasons.
OMG! It’s Anita! Who is now listed as “GG’s friend!” No explanation of why she is not “Reza’s friend” anymore and is now BFF’s with her sworn enemy from last season. Oh, reality TV. But whatevs. I love Anita! Oh here comes the acknowledgement that last year they hated each other. GG says in her talking head that she feels isolated and hopes things will improve with the others. There is still a bit of her defensiveness and failure to see her role in the situation, but I think she is trying.
Asa does great at Persian Palooza! I really wish I would have gone to see her performance in person. And they lived happily ever after….
Okay, NOW I am going to prepare for the reunion. I can’t say I am looking forward to tonight. I expect it to be an hour of Reza hurling insults at MJ.