Well, we are back in Paradise and everyone is miserable. Reza is off his diet and Jefferson has arrived. Why don’t Reza and Jefferson just get married. Bobby and Asifa left and returned to LA. The arrival of Jefferson and the departure of Asifa has completely turned the mood around. GG and MJ and some dude pretended to be Muslim so that Reza could remind us of his Anti-Islamic feelings. If you recall in Turkey he spent half the trip mocking the Muslims and the veil. Because, asshole. They tolerate Scientology in Beverly Hills, a fake religion where they all believe they are from another planet, and you can’t show respect for a religion that has been around thousands of years? Isn’t half of his family Muslim? I’m ignoring GG’s talking head.
Reza gets a suit made in Thailand. Mike is getting a suit and a tuxedo made in Beverly Hills. Reza says he is missing Adam. Mike tells his brother he is missing Reza. Mike says he is going to invite Reza to his wedding.
The gang goes for a fish pedicure. I want to get one of those. I could feed them for days. MJ brings up the obligatory fake storyline between Asa and her. Then it is off to boxing. Reza does not know how to behave anywhere. It’s so embarrassing. Then they are off to seek out the “lady boys” aka transsexuals. Reza is thrilled and gets up to work the poll with the strippers. Reza horn-dogged his depression away. Continue reading
Reza and Adam
We begin tonight’s Shahs of Sunset with Reza and Adam getting a marriage license. How do destination weddings work? I thought you had to file in the country where you get married. How will an LA wedding license work in Thailand? Are they going to legally marry at the courthouse before or after the trip? I wonder how the applications would be now that gay marriage is relatively new and government paperwork takes so long to catch up. Adam asks Reza if he is the bride or the groom. Then he asks if he wants to take Reza’s name he has to do it now? Reza is freaking out and sucking on an inhaler. Adam is talking about having kids. Reza is threatening to bolt.
MJ and Asa are at an exercise class. Asa wants to get in shape for bikinis in Thailand and MJ wants an opportunity to dress up like Olivia Newton John in public which of course would be incomplete without wearing support hose. Asa is having a serious conversation about the joint bachelor party they are supposed to be planning. But MJ is more concerned with her outfit. She could care less about this party because she is planning a sleazeball party for Reza and not telling Asa about. This season MJ and Asa were clearly told to fight over Reza. MJ is being a good little production soldier while Asa is just responding in kind because it’s her job. Asa is planning a safari chic party with strippers with animal tails. Her party is at a vineyard/animal safari. Because those are clearly everywhere in California. Continue reading
Shahs of Sunset Season 4
We pick up with Jessica gone and everyone throwing on a swim suit and getting in the pool and getting drunk. I hope those cups are plastic. Everything is going along great. With Jessica gone, Mike is a whole new person, or perhaps the old Mike, once Jessica was sent home.
Reza is having worse hair issues than Nene Leakes this season. It’s really bad.
I love that they have a bartender and a cook. Asifa doesn’t like Iranian food. Asa doesn’t like chicken liver. I LOVE chicken liver. I also love Iranian/Middle Eastern food. Mike tells his arch-enemy Bobby and Asifa and Shervin about his proposal plan. That should go well.
MJ and Jefferson talk about the competing bachelor parties. They are in charge of Reza’s MJ wants to get Reza laid.
Asifa manages to insult the other Bobby, not her Bobby and when he smarts off back to her Asifa and her Bobby start acting like assholes. Asifa’s Bobby is going to get his ass beat. Asifa started all the shit and now Bobby is somehow racist because he referred to Asifa as some Indian girl. WTF? Reza and Asa are on the wrong side of this argument. I predict they will realize what cunt buckets Asifa and Bobby are as filming goes on. They seem to always pick the wrong pony early on in the season. Asifa is such a little whiner. Continue reading
Shahs of Sunset Season 4
I just realized how much I’ve missed this show. I hate that the production strike delayed things so long because this season is supposed to be super good and filled with drama! Perhaps the wait will give the presumed bride to be a bit of time to reconsider her decision? I mean take a page from Reza and his fiancé who are not in a hurry to marry.
Reza and Asa are going gold shopping. I am not sure where this store is, but I want to find it. Reza is buying a Rolex and he will get a better deal than what they are saying on air for promotional consideration (there is more of that on this show than any other) still. I am surprised those watches are only $35K.
Anyway, this is all to say that Asa parents are moving in with her while she has their house renovated. And Reza’s man’s parents are coming to town or something. Sorry. I was distracted by the gold.
Mike drops by his parents with chocolates and champagne shows them the engagement ring he bought for Jessica. Continue reading
Lily Ghalichi had been back in the rags lately. She recently became engaged to Dhar Mann after a very brief courtship. I thought perhaps she had rented a boyfriend to try to stay on Shahs. However, Dhar Mann is a legit extremely wealthy entrepreneur who has own several extremely successful businesses including a huge medical marijuana company called WeGrow. He sold that business last year and now runs some sort of Jet Set company that has something to do with a fleet of luxury vehicles. Oh, he’s also a felon. He was convicted of five felony counts of fraud according to Wikipedia and was given five years of probation and ordered to pay restitution. #FelonsByBravo Whatever. He’s HOT. Continue reading
As much as I like these ridiculous Bravo shows, they always seem to just drag on forever. For the first time in the history of Bravo, the Shahs finale seemed like a nice happy ending. All of the storylines were wrapped up. Everyone pretended to kiss and make up. That should have been the end.
But, no. We are still driving the hilariously stupid gold them into the ground with a reunion at a dinner table. Let’s see if some dumps a plate of tahdig on anyone in this episode.
Andy asks Reza what the hell he was thinking screaming the word faggot at people in a gay club. He says that the guy was talking about Iran like it was Club Med. Um, flashback to 80’s resorts with rampant STDs. Plus the guy was not doing that at all. He talked about missing his family and not being able to see them. Now MJ is joining in to defend Reza and both are saying that FOB is perfectly fine. As far as I am concerned it is perfectly fine if your intent is to insult someone, it’s as good an insult as any. What is not perfectly fine is the two of them acting as if it is a term of endearment. They are both delusional. Just say, “I didn’t like the guy, I called him an FOB, and it’s really not that big of a deal!” But no. That can never happen. Reza and MJ both just seem to try to look like assholes. Reza seems to get it after the tenth question that he needs to apologize and shut up. Continue reading
OMG today has been A DAMN DAY! I was just finally having fun with my commenters and now I have to recap. I mean I love Shahs of Sunset but damn there is so much fun drama on my blog. Anyway. I am here and a bit tipsy so this blog should be good but error filled. So the typo police are welcome to go fuck themselves now.
I am so not happy that this reunion is going to be a blood bath. The season has such a happy ending. I am VERY impressed with my Andrew for using a bit of Farsi. He still tickles my heart no matter how shady he gets, which is why I was so upset with a commenter today for mean tweeting him and attaching my name. Please know that much like TMZ says about loving Hollywood but having a weird way of showing it that is how I feel about the Bravolebrities and I NEVER want any of my blogs sent to them directly.
Everyone looks amazing tonight. Asa and GG are particularly stunning. Andy has put on quite the Persian feast for everyone. I love it! OOOOH a yellow diamond headpiece on Asa. Andy starts with happiness, Reza is engaged ! I thought it was the most pathetic engagement ever, but let me try to be nice about this. Continue reading
It time once again for the season finale of Shahs of Sunset. Can you believe it has been three seasons already. We’ve loved them and hated them and loved them again and then totally despised them and now it’s time to part ways once again and wait to see what their season four personalities will be. My greatest hope for season four is that they get rid of the stupid theme song and use Asa’s song, Terangeles instead. But for now it is time to tie up all the lose ends.
First Reza and Mike head to the gym for the incredibly scripted make up scene. Reza goes to train with a gold chain around his neck. On the outside of his tee shirt. They work out for five minutes and then Reza starts the conversation by saying that he feels very distant from Mike and it hurts him. Mike says he is hurt that Reza didn’t give him 100% of his help. Reza says absolutely he did not. For some reason, Mike feels like he is partners with Reza and he should be getting a percentage of his sales. Well that would be awesome if that is the way it worked. But that is an obscene idea. You don’t just decide to partner up with someone and take a percentage of their commissions while you do nothing. All Reza owed Mike if he owed him anything was to give him some pointers. Perhaps some good neighborhoods to canvas. for listings. Let him do some open houses for Reza where he might meet some potential buyers. Tell him to go to all the Persian things his rich Persian friends do pass out as many business cards and shake as many hands as possible. Have his brothers and parents pimp him out. DO SOMETHING other than whining about what Reza is not doing for him. Reza explains that successful agents who take the time to mentor newbies receive a percentage of their commission for teaching them, not the other way around. Reza is right. Mike doesn’t want to pay his dues. Mike says he is going back to commercial real estate, as if he ever left commercial real estate. They hug it out. Continue reading
We start off this week with GG and Leila meeting at their Dad’s office to discuss their extensions business. What in the holy hell is going on with Leila’s hair? She has some sort of greasy bed head thing going on. GG has her hair in a pony tail. Is this really the look these two want to have during their product placement segment of Shahs of Sunset for hair extensions? It make no sense. Nor does the lack of enthusiasm. If they were serious about this “business” they would have put some effort into it.
Leila wants to know what is going on with the MJ situation. GG says that she wants to know why Leila is hanging out with MJ since MJ called their parents and said that GG was a whore bitch. OMG. Please tell me MJ did not do that. Oh god. There is footage. Leila doesn’t believe that GG is not the cause of the problem. I get that. GG has a history of lying but this time she is telling the truth. Leila calls Mike to verify GG’s story. Mikes supports GG version of events more or less. Leila apologizes. GG’s extensions look great in her talking heads.
Asa and Reza are going shopping at Kitson’s for Soghati , gifts from your travels you bring to your friends and family. MJ arrives and says she is determined to ruin GG’s life. Asa takes MJ to lunch and tries to talk her down. Continue reading
We begin the next morning with cameramen in Mikes bedroom in yet another fake morning scene by Bravo. The storyline is, Mike wakes up the morning after the Diamond Water launch party feeling rough and embarrassed. Jessica explains all the parts that Mike doesn’t remember.
Asa invites MJ and GG over to her house in an attempt to get them to reconcile before the trip to Turkey. I am SO excited about the trip but Asa and I may be the only ones actually looking forward to it. Seriously Asa? French Feta? Feta is Greek. I also want the recipe for that Apple Cider Vinegar Habanero sauce. But what did it go with? Asa tells them to just work it out. MJ wants to know what she did wrong. GG’s anger management techniques must be working for her because I would have gutted her like a fish right there. There is no way in hell she doesn’t know what she did wrong. Somehow they all calmly agree to squash it. Continue reading
Chiiiiile, this here is one CRAZY Tuesday night at the home offices of Tamara Tattles. Busy Busy, BUSY. And then this Brandi Glanville shit starts right when I am tryna recap Shahs. Let me try and focus as my emails go batshit crazy.
MJ has a lot of sex tapes. She is trying to get them all erased. Reza goes with her to the computer shop for this to happen. The guy finds all of her sex tapes. He tells her to password protect her computer and they leave. I love that MJ is so comfortable with her body. May well all get there someday. MJ says she doesn’t know how long she will look that good and she wants to keep some memorabilia. YOU GO GIRL! Love you MJ!
Mike is back with his big balls… er I mean big baller friends from Vegas to talk shop. Random bimbos abound. It’s weird and likely Made by Bravo. Or VERY shady. Continue reading
I don’t understand why Asa’s Tehrangeles song is not the theme song to this show. It’s a way better song than the one they use. Reza has apparently never been to a mall before. Apparently, he and Adam went to promote some sort of Beluga Caviar machine. It went a little something like this. Here is $3,500 provided by the Caviar people. Go to the mall, find the machine and pretend like you just had an extra $3,500 in your pocket to buy caviar.
UPDATED: Here is the link to the Beverly Hills Caviar Company that got all the advertising on Shahs last night. The largest tin in the machine is 200g and cost $800. Oh Bravo, you slay me.
Asa takes GG to an outdoor Tai Chi class. I think this is a fantastic idea for GG and her anger issues. It’s calming, but in kind of warrior princess way. “Put your mind inside of where your hips are….” GG asks if this helps sex. LOL. But she is sort of taking it seriously! GG and Asa have such a nice civilized conversation. That was actually nice to watch.
MJ is showing Leila’s house to a potential renter. I haven’t seen her doing anything real estate related in ages. Continue reading