We start off this week with GG and Leila meeting at their Dad’s office to discuss their extensions business. What in the holy hell is going on with Leila’s hair? She has some sort of greasy bed head thing going on. GG has her hair in a pony tail. Is this really the look these two want to have during their product placement segment of Shahs of Sunset for hair extensions? It make no sense. Nor does the lack of enthusiasm. If they were serious about this “business” they would have put some effort into it.
Leila wants to know what is going on with the MJ situation. GG says that she wants to know why Leila is hanging out with MJ since MJ called their parents and said that GG was a whore bitch. OMG. Please tell me MJ did not do that. Oh god. There is footage. Leila doesn’t believe that GG is not the cause of the problem. I get that. GG has a history of lying but this time she is telling the truth. Leila calls Mike to verify GG’s story. Mikes supports GG version of events more or less. Leila apologizes. GG’s extensions look great in her talking heads.
Asa and Reza are going shopping at Kitson’s for Soghati , gifts from your travels you bring to your friends and family. MJ arrives and says she is determined to ruin GG’s life. Asa takes MJ to lunch and tries to talk her down. Continue reading
We begin the next morning with cameramen in Mikes bedroom in yet another fake morning scene by Bravo. The storyline is, Mike wakes up the morning after the Diamond Water launch party feeling rough and embarrassed. Jessica explains all the parts that Mike doesn’t remember.
Asa invites MJ and GG over to her house in an attempt to get them to reconcile before the trip to Turkey. I am SO excited about the trip but Asa and I may be the only ones actually looking forward to it. Seriously Asa? French Feta? Feta is Greek. I also want the recipe for that Apple Cider Vinegar Habanero sauce. But what did it go with? Asa tells them to just work it out. MJ wants to know what she did wrong. GG’s anger management techniques must be working for her because I would have gutted her like a fish right there. There is no way in hell she doesn’t know what she did wrong. Somehow they all calmly agree to squash it. Continue reading
OMG! Asa has more bangles than I have ever seen her wear. I die. And must officially withdraw from the bangle war I have in my head with her. And her dress stunning. She looks fantastic! GG looks great too, but I have a special bond with Asa. She was one of the first people I interviewed on this blog long ago. Then I decided NOT to use much of the interview and just gush about her, because… I love her. I still love that blog. BTW, Asa is first chair, as she should be.
Andy throws some shade at Asa over the whole Persian Flu Mask picture that made it’s way around the Internet. Asa says it’s a gold statement necklace that she has and wears it many ways, on her neck, on her forehead and on her boot and um…. as a flu mask. lol. I do admit to laughing at the Persian Flu Mask picture, sorry girlfriend.
Conversation moves on to Asa’s new diamond water which is now available for sale at RealDiamondWater.com where you can get a case of 12 1 liter bottles for about $36 bucks. I pay about $15 dollars for a case of 1.5 liter bottles of Whole Foods Brand Electrolyte water, but a case of Coconut water is about $48 bucks. This falls somewhere in between. The thing about Asa’s water is that it is Alkaline water, which some people say is the best thing healthwise since sliced bread and others say that once the water hits your stomach, it loses all the alkaline properties. Anyway, everyone go try some and let me know what you think. Then Andy does the stupid drinking of the diamond water thing with diamond graphics that we have all seen him do at least once before. Continue reading
Chiiiiile, this here is one CRAZY Tuesday night at the home offices of Tamara Tattles. Busy Busy, BUSY. And then this Brandi Glanville shit starts right when I am tryna recap Shahs. Let me try and focus as my emails go batshit crazy.
MJ has a lot of sex tapes. She is trying to get them all erased. Reza goes with her to the computer shop for this to happen. The guy finds all of her sex tapes. He tells her to password protect her computer and they leave. I love that MJ is so comfortable with her body. May well all get there someday. MJ says she doesn’t know how long she will look that good and she wants to keep some memorabilia. YOU GO GIRL! Love you MJ!
Mike is back with his big balls… er I mean big baller friends from Vegas to talk shop. Random bimbos abound. It’s weird and likely Made by Bravo. Or VERY shady. Continue reading
I don’t understand why Asa’s Tehrangeles song is not the theme song to this show. It’s a way better song than the one they use. Reza has apparently never been to a mall before. Apparently, he and Adam went to promote some sort of Beluga Caviar machine. It went a little something like this. Here is $3,500 provided by the Caviar people. Go to the mall, find the machine and pretend like you just had an extra $3,500 in your pocket to buy caviar.
UPDATED: Here is the link to the Beverly Hills Caviar Company that got all the advertising on Shahs last night. The largest tin in the machine is 200g and cost $800. Oh Bravo, you slay me.
Asa takes GG to an outdoor Tai Chi class. I think this is a fantastic idea for GG and her anger issues. It’s calming, but in kind of warrior princess way. “Put your mind inside of where your hips are….” GG asks if this helps sex. LOL. But she is sort of taking it seriously! GG and Asa have such a nice civilized conversation. That was actually nice to watch.
MJ is showing Leila’s house to a potential renter. I haven’t seen her doing anything real estate related in ages. Continue reading
Two Shahs in one week is two too many, so I sort of had to space these shows out. But today, I’m feeling up to the task so it’s finally time to watch Tuesday’s show. In the reminder of what has happened previously, MJ is saying that Leila Gharachedaghi, GG’s sister is everything that GG is not. She uses level-headed as an example as if this is a trait she seeks out in her friends. Ummmmmm…. Mike sorta fits that description. The rest not so much. Is she trying new things? I think it is more than likely they are setting up GG’s storyline for the season because GG was running around town going batshit while all this was filming. She tried to get back in a club to beat down some girl who hit Leila in the face in a bar (thought Leila seemed pretty unfazed) and her then “boyfriend” Sean Sette got a restraining order on her after he broke up with her and he told the judge is was afraid of her and her scary knife collection. He also claimed she was damaging his reputation by telling people he was gay and putting his personal phone number and address on social media. So um, GG had a bad summer.
Anyway, back to the show. Oh ! My DVR was paused at the gay bar where Reza lost his shit last episode. The name of the bar is ironically called… MJ’s. lol. The more you know #rainbow MJ is starting a business. Now before we all start laughing, I have to tell you she is trying to fill a MUCH needed niche in the market. Once of the things that all these young women fail to take into consideration when they dash out to buy ginormous boobs is that they will no longer be able to fit in clothes anymore. And you will be paying several HUNDRED dollars per bra if you want one in your size that is not a Playtex 18 Hour Bra. Wait, she may not be starting a business. She may just be having some shapewear custom made for her. She also thinks she has a “tiny waist that is not being cinched properly.” Please don’t make me mention all the swimsuit pics of you on TMZ, MJ, you know I love you, but you do not have a tiny waist, beloved. Someone really does need to make shapewear for the fatass masses. Um, so I heard. Continue reading
Winner of the 2013 Most Photo Shopped Picture Award
I know I said I was done with this shit show last week, and I meant it. But I am amused by this “special time” for this episode. You see, Shahs as not been pulling in the ratings this season. As the former number one fan of this show in season one, I became disillusioned by season two. As you saw last week, I vowed to abandon the show entirely, and hell I still watch Vanderpump Rules! That ridiculous Thicker Than Water show usually has the 9 pm Sunday night slot. It’s a coveted spot because of the RHOA lead in. Thicker than Water has been beating the pants of in the ratings so Bravo decided to give the slot to Shahs of Sunset to see if that would help. Frankly, we all have so many Sunday night shows to choose from I don’t understand how Bravo gets any viewers on Sunday nights anymore. My point is, when a show is moved out of it’s time slot, it means Bravo is nervous about ratings and is ultimately trying to flush the season as quickly as possible. Shahs second airing did not happen until 1 am, after RHOA had three airings.
That said, let the shit show begin. We begin with Mike wondering WTF is wrong with Reza. Mike realizes Reza’s behavior is embarrassing everyone. Mike is uncomfortable with Reza being on the gay pride float for the gay bar that he insulted and embarrassed everyone in the night before. Mike calls Reza and tells him he doesn’t think it is a good idea for Reza to be on the float. Reza is a smartass (shocker) and says “You’ve become the ambassador for the float, I’m very happy for you.” Reza says who are you to call and uninvited me to a disgusting float that is an embarrassment to the gay community. WAIT WHAT? This as yet unseen float is the embarrassment to the gay community and not the dude as big as a gay pride float all by himself whose hobbies include smelling armpits, using the word faggot to out people who clearly are comfortable in the closet, and generally insulting all of his “friends” on national TV ? Good GOD Reza is delusional. Mike is pissed. Continue reading
Seriously? I feel like the person who has to report to Burger King on a holiday. How much longer are we going to watch this shit? Can’t we just talk about The Blacklist and AHS:Coven and Scandal and Revenge and ….. just better TV? But here we go, because Bravo has you all so sucked in that you cannot, will not, venture out.
Mike and Reza go to some hairloss facility to try and keep Mike from going bald. Because Persians are know the world over for being practically hairless. Much like Armenians. Clearly this is a moment of crisis. Next the dermatologist comes in to explain Mike has flaky ears. SIGH. Both are Iranian doctors. No infomercial here at all. Continue reading
Sigh. I am harkening back to the day when this used to be exciting and fun! I would chat with you about things on the teevee and we would laugh and laugh but it just keeps getting more and more ridiculous and I think we all need to travel more. Stop what you are doing a book a fucking trip somewhere. ANYWHERE. Because we are NOT amused by this shit anymore. We have reached our limits. Enough already.
Okay, every year, GG goes white water rafting? Um. REALLY? Okay I will suspend disbelief and not mention that Bravo is paying for the fucking rafting trip. Let’s get on with it, #YAWN
GG is exactly right. I guess MJ had to get the bad edit/storyline eventually. Reza and MJ are going for facials. MJ is in love with her gay. Girl??? You have to get yourself a straight man. Reza LIES (are you shocked?) to get MJ to the white water rafting trip with GG’s family. Of course we must suspend disbelief again. Also, MJ is getting her “facial” in full on Tammy Faye Baker makeup. Because that is what we all wear to get a facial. Triple lashes, three inches of foundation and slut red lipstick. I just can’t. I love you MJ, but you are getting totally ridiculous. Continue reading
I am so mesmerized by the David Blaine Magic Show I could barely pull myself away for this nonsense, but I have it taping so I can get back to it. I woke up the other morning thinking about Asa’s water bottle issues. Yes, I know. Also, I hate there opening song and wish it was Tehrangeles. Asa is the only Bravolebrity whose music I actually really like. Oddly, I don’t have a single thing other than my laptop that plays music in this house. I should probably fix that.
Reza who thrust Lilly up on a pedestal from the moment she was cast as “Persian Barbie” and talking about her Bentley this and that is now saying that Lilly thinks she is better than everyone else. Can you say complete 180 from last season? I knew that you could. Oh and Reza, loving friend that he is said on WWHL that GG and Sean are no longer a couple because Sean is gay. However Sean just got busted looking at some gir;s ass.
OMG! NO MJ! NO! Why are you breaking girl code and telling Sean about GG making out with Shayan? TOTALLY.NOT.COOL. GG would never do that to you! But she will cut you with a knife for doing it to her. GURRRRL! Then MJ grabs Reza and leaves. OH NO. MJ! Continue reading
I have been online friends with Asa, MJ, and at times Reza ( who blocked me last season) but I am not sure I can keep watching Shahs of Sunset. OH LORD. MJ has called Mike over to express her dogs anal glands. No. Just Noe.
OMG More just NOE. Lilly comes in to shop with GG and she said Hey Gurl Hey! I am sorry that is my special thing with @koppelformayor the my lil sis from another mother! and father. Follow her she is in Cali and has LOTS of tea! GG made out with Shayan at Lilly’s party but she has a boyfriend. Um, they were on a break. Continue reading
As long as I am up I may as well watch the screener for Shahs of Sunset. The paperwork says Reza turns 40 and moves in with Adam. MJ starts thinking about her biological clock. Mike and Reza’s work situation is not going well and Mike needs to make some decisions about his girlfriend. Asa sells her diamond water, and takes the crew to Turkey and Iran to reunite with long lost family. GG continues to be off the chain and it seems Reza has tired of playing with is new toy, “Persian Barbie” but she remains in the cast.
We should says something about Reza’s hair. Is he wearing wig as he shops for a Porshe for his 40th birthday? WTF? I immediately see why Reza and Mike’s work situation is not going to work. Reza is basically just taking half of any of Mike’s new business but not sharing his own listings. Any thoughts that Reza may have reevaluated himself after lastseason is out the window within the first five minutes. Reza is buying a used Porshe. I like that they are being real. Reza leaves with no car.
MJ continues to try to mend her relationship with her mother. I’m sorry, I know this is her mother, but sometimes you have to distance yourself from family if they are always dragging you down. MJ tries to turn her mom into Cyndi Lauper. Not going to happen. Continue reading