We are back on Shahs of Sunset for an intervention with Golnesa. While I am sure an intervention with GG, could be beneficial if she would listen (she won’t) no one ever did this with Mike Shouhed. In fact most of them will be drunk out of their minds at this “intervention.” I’m not really sure that is how they are supposed to work.
Sidenote: Welcome back if you have been trying to get on the site over the weekend and failed. I attempted to take some time off and the server decided to do the same since I was not hovering over it all the time. I am still not sure why it happened and there seems to be some things that are taking a bit of time to recover. So if you get a chance, hit some of the tags or categories below the posts and check out other pages. Have zero page views is going to mess up a lot of things and freak out my advertisers.
As they show how drunk and obnoxious almost all of them were last week, this whole script seems more ridiculous than usual. I don’t see how Asa deals with all of these people. Speaking of Asa, she is in the Winnie making some seafood while Reza grills outside. I remember years ago in one of my very first blogs about Asa talking about how she would go to the park in Germany as a kid and they would grill out. Some idiot tried to inform me that Iranians didn’t grill out. Which is ridiculous. Maybe I used the term BBQ which is what we call it in the south. That term to me means cooking meat outside over fire. It has nothing to do with a bottle of barbecue sauce. It’s pretty universal over most if not all cultures since the beginning of fire. Asa is cooking shrimp on aluminum foil. Never cook with aluminum pans or aluminum foil.
I am ready for this episode of Shahs of Sunset with a fresh batch of Sangria on an empty tummy. I know, I know my anxiety keeps trying to creep back in and it makes me not hungry. So I make up for all of the extra calories with high calorie alcoholic drinks.
Asa’s kaftans are really taking off. I get tons of people asking me about them all the time. She has a website and a twitter, y’all. I am TOTALLY team Asa’s mom about being a model. Older ladies want kaftans more than anyone, Asa! Also, her dad announces they have order number 2,000. Which is a great milestone, but also one long past, she sells out everything she puts up. Great job, Asa!
We see a great photoshoot for her kaftan line. It’s stunning.
Sigh. GG is the requisite health story for this Bravo reality show. Asa brings her Iranian green sauce over to see GG. I WANT SOME. I want to be BFF’s with Asa and have her feed me something every week. GG tells a very mild story about how she treated MJ last week regarding MJ’s relationship with Tommy. GG is in charge of being the catalyst of the camping trip we are about to go on. I am wrong in thinking that GG is the one who DOESN’T like camping the last time we did this? Yes, yes I am, it’s MJ who hates camping.
Tonight’s disclaimer about why this recap will suck is sponsored by well brand tequila. It is also my excuse for more typos than usual and my late start. I was gardening today and craved a margarita. I am NOT allowed to drink tequila it usually makes me cry. Tonight I had TWO margaritas. Now two drinks don’t phase me at all but two TEQUILA drinks make me all fuzzy headed and my shoulder blades hurt. I went to get dinner which I am no longer interested in and it’s in the fridge for tomorrow. I had a great time reading my book at the bar for the first one, but two was one too many.
So apologies for my lateness. And let’s do this. I admit part of my unusual desire for hard liquor was having to recap this crapfest tonight. I have no idea what is real anymore on this show.
Mike and Reza go to a cigar bar. I hate Reza even more because Xanadude hates him. It make me feel better about being disgusted by him. I respect Xanadude’s opinion. Even his polar opposite political ones. You can learn a lot from X. I’m just saying. (I warned you about the tequila).
I also make fun of Californians a lot. I am going to play the some of my favorite people are Californians. Including one cranky guy from San Francisco who is currently probably mad at me. But I have to mock them here once again because I just don’t get why they wear winter ski caps in LA. I get the whole bad hair day possibility but there have to be other hat options than winter wear. Anyway, this scene is about Mike crawling back to Reza. Whatever. I should point out that it hurts my heart a bit not to like Reza anymore. We had some great conversations online before season one aired.
This episode of Shahs of Sunset is only the second one and already I am tired of the battle between Mercedeh and Asa that will resume in this episode over the affections of Reza. Reza is a scumbag, misogynist who women and THE gays (Capitalized to emphasis for those that the term “the gays” bothers) can no longer abide. Sure there are women (like Bethenny Frankel, based on her Talk Show) who love him and gays who fuck him, me and mine are not fans. So to have the storyline be two women clamoring for the affections of Reza for another season is going to annoy the fuck out of me. MJ, is MJ. But Asa Soltan Rahmati I hold to a higher accountability. Le sigh.
I am also behind because it took me all day to research THIS STORY about Bethenny Frankel, because apparently no one else could be bothered. So I am behind, and irritable and will not do WWHL with Mike Shouhed until tomorrow because WWHL is a PITA to recap. #Apologies.
On to tonights’ episode…
This used to be one of my favorite Bravo shows, but just the previews alone are irritating to me. GG wakes up at Shervin’s where she slept in his bed and he slept on the couch. She wakes up in full makeup with a camera crew. Come on Ryan Seacrest! And just look at her pitiful wrist with less than an inch of gold bangles. It’s all just a super disappointment at this point.
It seems like forever since we have had an episode of Shahs of Sunset. Hell Mike and Jessica have gotten married and divorced since the last season. Speaking of Jessica, she is still dealing with that man with the rape allegations. Someone sent me a like to her on a podcast with the guy from The Dirty where she says something like “he has always been nice to her.” Um really? This chick has the worst judgment in men I have ever seen. I thought my picker was broke, but this girl just needs to leave the men alone before she gets hurt or worse. Personally, I’ve found life to me much easier with having to deal with some man on a regular basis. If you are with someone who has been CHARGED WITH RAPE someone needs to fucking intervene. Has her family disowned her? How do you justify that in your head?
Let’s hope MJ’s new fiancée is someone who will be good to her. I really want her to be happy. I’m really looking forward to seeing Belize this season, as I have never been there. I really should start exploring South America. And I want to see Asa doing ANYTHING. I adore her.
We open with a scene of Reza sleeping alone with his dog. Reza admits that he sabotaged his relationship last season by being a whore at his bachelor party, and cancelling the wedding. He says he got more therapy and things are much better now between him and Adam now but it has been a long road. But that doesn’t stop Reza from (jokingly?) being an asshole. I can tell you that friends and family who constantly pick because they think they are being funny will drive that person away. No one wants to be constantly picked at. Reza is still harassing him for sex. I do like Reza’s to do list which is basically have sex and buy gold. I think that is an excellent plan for most anyone.
Here is the key to the photo above Clockwise from Reza: Reza, Shervin, GG, MJ’s date?. MJ, Maybe Adam? (he is BFF with Asa this season), and Mike.
The Shahs of Sunset are filming Season 5’s finale in Belize right now and I actually have a spy down there. I know! I can’t believe it either. She is trying to get more of the scoop for us! They have been there since at least Thursday. The photo above is from Guava Limb Cafe in Cayo, Belize. We know that Mike, Reza, Asa, MJ, Shervin and GG are all there (MJ is a blond now, GG has super black hair). I guessing that the guy to the right of Asa is Adam.
GET CAUGHT UP ON WHAT YOU MISSED LAST SEASON ON SHAHS OF SUNSET HERE!
In addition to the Guava Limb Café, the gang has been enjoying the Mayan Ruins and clubbing at Thirsty Thursday which is a local bar. Continue reading