For some ungodly reason this show was 76 minutes long last night, which fucked up the schedule for everything on Bravo all night, causing me not to be abled to recap in real time. Good Job, Bravo.
We start with Reza at his flip property. Reza says since Asa did her pop priestess thing on the house, all his problems are gone and everything is working perfectly. Why isn’t Asa mad at Reza for not inviting her to his perverted bachelor party?
Reza goes with MJ to a fertility doctor. MJ lies to the doctor about age despite going to high school with the doctor. I think it would be weird have a GYN you went to high school with. Even weirder is the fact that Reza is in the room during the exam. He’s actually on the business end of the situation while she was getting wanded. The doctor says her ovaries are full of fertility bubbles and she is good to go. Now she just has to try to get laid. Oh and wait on the blood test results.
Asa has completely redone her parents house. It’s really pretty. Her parents love it. Continue reading
Reza and Adam
We begin tonight’s Shahs of Sunset with Reza and Adam getting a marriage license. How do destination weddings work? I thought you had to file in the country where you get married. How will an LA wedding license work in Thailand? Are they going to legally marry at the courthouse before or after the trip? I wonder how the applications would be now that gay marriage is relatively new and government paperwork takes so long to catch up. Adam asks Reza if he is the bride or the groom. Then he asks if he wants to take Reza’s name he has to do it now? Reza is freaking out and sucking on an inhaler. Adam is talking about having kids. Reza is threatening to bolt.
MJ and Asa are at an exercise class. Asa wants to get in shape for bikinis in Thailand and MJ wants an opportunity to dress up like Olivia Newton John in public which of course would be incomplete without wearing support hose. Asa is having a serious conversation about the joint bachelor party they are supposed to be planning. But MJ is more concerned with her outfit. She could care less about this party because she is planning a sleazeball party for Reza and not telling Asa about. This season MJ and Asa were clearly told to fight over Reza. MJ is being a good little production soldier while Asa is just responding in kind because it’s her job. Asa is planning a safari chic party with strippers with animal tails. Her party is at a vineyard/animal safari. Because those are clearly everywhere in California. Continue reading
I wish I had friends that buy champagne and lay out great spreads with fresh cut flowers for me to drop by to discuss bad dinner parties from the night before. This time it is Reza hosting Asa to discuss Jessica. I’m team Asa, always. MJ arrives and everyone agrees that Mike is guilty. Okay, fine. But really? They have been pushing this “dramatic” storyline for so long take I was expecting a rape arrest or a sex tape or both. Not some high school story about “he tried to come on to me.” Hell, guys try to come on to girls everyday. Even me and I am the poster child for “Letting Yourself Go.” It is what guys do. As a wise woman once said, “I can get dick on the way to my mailbox.” But please discuss this amongst the three of you and pick a side. Reza has decided not to invite Mike to the wedding. I assume this means that Jessica didn’t want to go to Thailand.
GG and MJ are off to talk to a taxidermist about her dead dog. This cannot be real. There are 100s of dead stuffed animals in his little business. GG asks if they were all alive before. The cat is terrifying. They explain to MJ that they really just skin the dog and throw the guts away and wrap the fur around a base. I am going to zip through this now. Banjo does not need to hear this. He is already made because we are out of wet dog food.
Mike and Jessica go out to dinner. Jessica informs Mike of their two year timeline. Married by December, pregnant by June. Then the topic moves on to dinner with the others. Jessica is not open to discussing it. Continue reading
I am trying to tear myself away from the live coverage of the Baltimore riots to watch and recap this. We can discuss the Baltimore riots here. I really need to get at least the Shahs of Sunset recap up, but I am going to wait on Southern Charm and WWHL when I am not so preoccupied. This may take a bit longer than usual as I may have to peek at the news. Please post your news comments in the Daily Tea thread for today rather than here.
Reza and Adam are talking about Reza’s wedding diet. Reza has lost 10 pounds in two weeks. Reza and Adam agree on getting married in Thailand. Because who doesn’t want a paid for wedding by Bravo in Thailand. Reza is not sure he wants to invite Mike and Jessica to the wedding. Reza does not like Jessica. Mike is having a reconciliation dinner, which may or may not include GG. Because dinners are always a calm happy event on Bravo shows. Continue reading
Welp! Nothing like putting a spoiler right in the title. That’s genius right there, Ryan Seacrest Productions. If you have missed any Shahs of Sunset episodes, you can get caught up here.
MJ, Reza and Asa get together to eat and talk about a wedding diet. Asa says she doesn’t diet. Reza wants to lose weight before the wedding. MJ and Asa are not particularly on board. Asifa calls to invite everyone to a Bollywood party. MJ takes a dig at Asa’s weight.
Asifa and Bobby
Are these two full-time cast members? Are we really interested in watching them wash a dog? I wish I had a shower like that to wash Banjo in.
Asifa’s family is practicing Muslim. I believe it must be Ramadan. At any rate her family members are over to break their fast. Asifa does not practice religion at all.
Mike and Jessica
We start tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset with the happy couple, Mike and Jessica going to a Brazilian restaurant with Shervin. There, Jessica happily shows off her engagement ring. It seems she has managed to stop crying long enough to sit at a table and watch other people eat.
Shervin and Mike are talking about the blowup with GG. Mike says he is waiting for things to blow over. He has been friends with the others for to long not to try to mend it. Shervin says your decision is your decision. Whatever that means But, Jessica pipes up with, “mend it? No.” It seems in true Mike fashion they just ignore Jessica’s comment.
This meal seems like Mike and Shervin are on a date and Jessica is the annoying little sister who for some reason showed up uninvited. Shervin and Mike have a stupid eating contest. Continue reading
We return to Shahs of Sunset the morning after GG made her startling accusations to Mike. Poor Mike. You know what I like the morning after a bender? I like to be woken up by a film crew and recounting how I was accused of some sort of sexual misconduct with my spouse. Oh wait. No one likes that. I don’t believe this was “the next morning.” But that is the storyline so let’s pretend.
Jessica is pouting on the neatly made bed. Jessica says she is mortified by what happened. Mike is managing to use GG as the mutual enemy. We are two minutes in and the term “pinky swear” is used. Jessica screams at him for being friends with all of them. Jessica hates everyone. Yet they all get invited to the wedding except for GG. Jessica tells Mike he is not allowed to defend himself to any of his friends. She totally wears the pants in this relationship. Continue reading
Reza’s apartment flip is not going along on schedule. When he arrives to the work site, there is no one there doing demo. He calls his contractor and is calmly asking why no one is there working. He seems to not get on the contractor at all.
Asifa has taken over the role of GG’s wife. GG is having trouble finding a good man. She tells Asifa she was in a relationship for three and a half years and for three of the years he had another girlfriend. I’m surprised that GG did not kill him. For real.
I am so confused by these two Iranian guys that Asa appears to have sold a house to. Are they brothers? Lovers? What? Apparently, their main function this episode is to provide the house for a pool party. And to bathe in a tub filled with fire hot Cheetos. Continue reading
Based on the title I am going to assume that Mike gets confronted about his drunken encounter with GG in Turkey. While I suppose that is necessary for the good of the group working through things, it would seem that there is a much larger situation going on with Mike that occurs frequently in LA during the time this was being filmed.
Reza and GG go to a really cute interior design place. It has a lot of really funky stuff. I need to find someplace like this in Atlanta. I am having the hardest time finding a new couch I want. I am seriously considered having the one I have now fixed somehow. all it really needs is to put some new stuffing in the side my fat ass sits on every day and the leather to be cleaned. Reza has decided that GG is his little sister for this season. How convenient.
All of Mike’s real estate things in the past have been bullshit. I assume this is too. If it is not that is even more embarrassing.
These scenes of MJ cooking and being happy in her new relationship make me sad. We have already found out that Charlie was full of shit and fucking other people at the same time.
Reza is and Asa drop by to discuss Adam’s 30th birthday. Seriously? He’s only 30? I know in gay years that is ancient, but still. The story line this year is for MJ and Asa to fight over who is better friends with Reza. This is a ridiculous storyline. MJ certainly puts up with more of Reza’s shit and has been friends with him the longest. Asa doesn’t care. She likes everyone fine but she is so not a vie for the gay best friend’s attention type. She’s no very convincing about pretending to in her talking heads either. WHY CAN’T THE RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS JUST BE WHAT THEY ARE WITH THESE PEOPLE? With the except of the new one, they all know each other. They are Iranian. They don’t need any help having passionate relationships amongst themselves. Continue reading
Shahs of Sunset Season 4
We pick up with Jessica gone and everyone throwing on a swim suit and getting in the pool and getting drunk. I hope those cups are plastic. Everything is going along great. With Jessica gone, Mike is a whole new person, or perhaps the old Mike, once Jessica was sent home.
Reza is having worse hair issues than Nene Leakes this season. It’s really bad.
I love that they have a bartender and a cook. Asifa doesn’t like Iranian food. Asa doesn’t like chicken liver. I LOVE chicken liver. I also love Iranian/Middle Eastern food. Mike tells his arch-enemy Bobby and Asifa and Shervin about his proposal plan. That should go well.
MJ and Jefferson talk about the competing bachelor parties. They are in charge of Reza’s MJ wants to get Reza laid.
Asifa manages to insult the other Bobby, not her Bobby and when he smarts off back to her Asifa and her Bobby start acting like assholes. Asifa’s Bobby is going to get his ass beat. Asifa started all the shit and now Bobby is somehow racist because he referred to Asifa as some Indian girl. WTF? Reza and Asa are on the wrong side of this argument. I predict they will realize what cunt buckets Asifa and Bobby are as filming goes on. They seem to always pick the wrong pony early on in the season. Asifa is such a little whiner. Continue reading
Mike and Jessica
Well it seems they are wasting no time in dealing with the Mike situation. It seems like it will begin with GG’s allegations but these are just the tip of the rumor iceberg. It’s seems Mike’s reputation took a beating during this filming.
I am not even trying to be cute when I say I do not recognize this Jessica. Nothing about her is familiar to me, not her face, not her voice, not her new bitchy ‘tude with the cussing. None of it. Where is holy Jessica who is becoming Jewish to please her man and who is docile and obedient? Was all of last season a dream sequence?
Mike thinks that everyone in the group is obsessed with his penis. This is because Mike himself thinks his penis is the center of the universe.
Jessica completes her final step to becoming a Jew by baptizing herself in the ocean. How is this achieved by Jewish converts in the desert? Jessica was very emotional and Mike came out at the end running toward her with beautiful flowers. It was rather sweet, actually. Continue reading
Shahs of Sunset Season 4
I just realized how much I’ve missed this show. I hate that the production strike delayed things so long because this season is supposed to be super good and filled with drama! Perhaps the wait will give the presumed bride to be a bit of time to reconsider her decision? I mean take a page from Reza and his fiancé who are not in a hurry to marry.
Reza and Asa are going gold shopping. I am not sure where this store is, but I want to find it. Reza is buying a Rolex and he will get a better deal than what they are saying on air for promotional consideration (there is more of that on this show than any other) still. I am surprised those watches are only $35K.
Anyway, this is all to say that Asa parents are moving in with her while she has their house renovated. And Reza’s man’s parents are coming to town or something. Sorry. I was distracted by the gold.
Mike drops by his parents with chocolates and champagne shows them the engagement ring he bought for Jessica. Continue reading