I actually fell asleep before this show aired last night and slept until 8 a.m. so I didn’t have time to recap. Thank the gods that I may actually be back on a regular sleep schedule. I actually had breakfast and everything this morning. Three cheers for getting on normal people’s schedules! So today I was not going to recap this, because Reza, but Luis is on and I love him so here we go! .
WOW! The second the show goes on air we hear Reza off camera call someone a “psycho bitch” before Andy, whose tie is even more cockeyed than usual, can do his introduction. Seriously, we are not two seconds in and Reza is calling someone a bitch and Andy looks like he has been swung around the room by his necktie. This may be better than expected.
Adam is the bartender. He is wearing some bizarre type of getup that I cannot begin to explain. Perhaps I will find a picture later. The big news is that Adam has changed his name to Farahan effective yesterday. Wait, how can any legal matter be “effective” on a Sunday? OMG! Andy has out come out from behind the bar to show off his interesting ensemble and it is a vile, very deep necked, crocheted jumpsuit. I have no words for this. Clearly, Adam is into humiliation. NTTAWWT.
Reza explain that he and Adam have their actual Cartier love rings and the estate sale ring was just a little something on top. He shows us his own ring finger and we see he has the love ring with another ring on top too. I will refrain from public remarks speculating about the meanings of the second rings.
It’s time for Shahs of Sunset and it is going to be more Rezacentric than usual. I’ve noticed fewer and fewer comments on this show lately. Are y’all still out there? I don’t think I can quit this one. I was too committed to it at the time I started this blog. I interviewed most of the cast (I was new and didn’t realize what a bad idea it was getting to know the Bravo crowd) and did tons of research and spoiling and I feel like this one I have to ride out. So get on the ride with me people!
Reza stops over to see Mike and give him some groceries and basically check up on him. Reza lectures Mike about staying out of the clubs and trying to work on his marriage. Mike really did try eventually to win Jessica back. But it was too late, she was already with some guy charged with rape, who is nicer to her than Mike was.
Later, Mike meets Jessica in a restaurant to talk over some still drinks. Mike tries to remind her of the good times. Jessica says that Mike is obsessed with money and thinks that “providing for her” means buying her stuff. In her talking head, she says they had “underlying trust issues” before the marriage. That’s as close as we will probably get to any mention of Mike’s cheating. After much awkward silence, Jessica leaves.
The new week of recapping begins again with a new episode of Shahs of Sunset!
GG is going to be the Yolanda of this season of Shahs. We are starting the miracle treatments this episode. We begin with GG and Reza in a salt water pool at a local spa. While these two soak in each others funk (the thought of being in a bath with Reza skeeves me out!) GG informs us that the next step in her journey to find a cure is chemo. Oh joy!!
Shervin is apparently a full cast member with his own scenes this season. His mom is in town and cooking for him, and his not exactly at date, GG. Shervin has the best house out of all of them. I wonder what his real job is. Shervin’s mom wants him to get married. He is ready for that but he doesn’t have any one in mind. He needs to start dating different types of women.
Shervin goes on a date with a blond named Annalise. She’s an Italian from Australia. Shervin can’t stop mocking her accent and making jokes about Australia. She’s not interested.
Look Andy, I really need this to be a good episode of WWHL to make up for the weekend that never happened because my server stopped, well, serving. So let’s do this! We begin with Andy Cohen being unable pronounce two out of the three guests names. And he can only pronounce Mercedeh’s name because she pretends like it is Mercedes so she just doesn’t have to correct people.
Vida is asked for some advice for the rest of the cast. She is so good at it, I have to transcribe it for you.
Golnesa: Stop being a victim!
Mike: He’s a confused dreamer.
Asa: Stop using the show for her personal benefit. If she wants to make money do it on her own time. Tell that to Bethenny Frankel, Vida.
Reza: Stop saying “bitch” and acting superior. (Some translation was needed here)
We are back on Shahs of Sunset for an intervention with Golnesa. While I am sure an intervention with GG, could be beneficial if she would listen (she won’t) no one ever did this with Mike Shouhed. In fact most of them will be drunk out of their minds at this “intervention.” I’m not really sure that is how they are supposed to work.
Sidenote: Welcome back if you have been trying to get on the site over the weekend and failed. I attempted to take some time off and the server decided to do the same since I was not hovering over it all the time. I am still not sure why it happened and there seems to be some things that are taking a bit of time to recover. So if you get a chance, hit some of the tags or categories below the posts and check out other pages. Have zero page views is going to mess up a lot of things and freak out my advertisers.
As they show how drunk and obnoxious almost all of them were last week, this whole script seems more ridiculous than usual. I don’t see how Asa deals with all of these people. Speaking of Asa, she is in the Winnie making some seafood while Reza grills outside. I remember years ago in one of my very first blogs about Asa talking about how she would go to the park in Germany as a kid and they would grill out. Some idiot tried to inform me that Iranians didn’t grill out. Which is ridiculous. Maybe I used the term BBQ which is what we call it in the south. That term to me means cooking meat outside over fire. It has nothing to do with a bottle of barbecue sauce. It’s pretty universal over most if not all cultures since the beginning of fire. Asa is cooking shrimp on aluminum foil. Never cook with aluminum pans or aluminum foil.
Filed under Asa Soltan Rahmati, Asifa Mirza, Dumbasses, Entertainment News, Golnesa Gharachedaghi, Lilly Ghalichi, Mercedeh Javid, Mike Shouhed, Reza Farahan, Shahs of Sunset, Tehrangeles
I am ready for this episode of Shahs of Sunset with a fresh batch of Sangria on an empty tummy. I know, I know my anxiety keeps trying to creep back in and it makes me not hungry. So I make up for all of the extra calories with high calorie alcoholic drinks.
Asa’s kaftans are really taking off. I get tons of people asking me about them all the time. She has a website and a twitter, y’all. I am TOTALLY team Asa’s mom about being a model. Older ladies want kaftans more than anyone, Asa! Also, her dad announces they have order number 2,000. Which is a great milestone, but also one long past, she sells out everything she puts up. Great job, Asa!
We see a great photoshoot for her kaftan line. It’s stunning.
Sigh. GG is the requisite health story for this Bravo reality show. Asa brings her Iranian green sauce over to see GG. I WANT SOME. I want to be BFF’s with Asa and have her feed me something every week. GG tells a very mild story about how she treated MJ last week regarding MJ’s relationship with Tommy. GG is in charge of being the catalyst of the camping trip we are about to go on. I am wrong in thinking that GG is the one who DOESN’T like camping the last time we did this? Yes, yes I am, it’s MJ who hates camping.