Are you ready for this vow renewal? Because I’m not. I’m already nauseous from over caffeinating myself to try to stay awake long enough to get on a decent sleep schedule. This episode may push me over my limit.
There seem to be more scenes from the previous episodes than usual. I kept meaning to do a post on Heather’s tantrum last week, but never had the time. The short version is I don’t believe she was acting in her crying scenes. I think she was overserved. If she were acting, she would not have done the ugly cry.
We begin with Meghan and Jim trying to figure out which embryos to implant. They ended up with four viable ones, three girls and a boy. Of the four the boy is the least viable, because Jim’s swimmers make girls. Meghan wants to do the most viable girl and the boy. Jim agrees and the doctor goes ahead with the double implant.
I am already tired of seeing Heather trying to cry on Botox. By the way, its not uncommon for overly botoxed women to be unable to make tears. Heather vents to Tamra about her lack of desire to ever hang around Kelly again. It seems that the Glamis trip is already on the horizon. Why was I thinking that was toward the very end of filming?
Kelly goes to visit Meghan who appears to be on bed rest after the insemination. Meghan’s mother is getting a lot of camera time. Meghan tells Kelly that she is on Shannon’s side after the things she said to Shannon. She tells Kelly that she was embarrassed to be her friend. Kelly cries. Kelly seems to think she was provoked. I must have missed that part. Then she tells Shannon when she has kids she will understand why it was such an issue to have that girl say things about her that her daughter might hear. Shannon gets even more pissed at Kelly because of the whole step daughter situation. In the end they hug it out.
I’m not sure I am ready for the housewives to return, but ready are not, here they come. Tonight we return to RHOOC.
This new girl Kelly really seems to know how to play the game. She’s not clinging to Meghan to defend Meghan from all the backlash of her Nancy Drew act last season, she is branching out and building alliances in her new role as Vicki’s number one minion. I’m happy about that. So we start with Kelly dropping by Tamra’s house. Tamra’s already drinking and chatting with Kelly about the Insemination Party tonight. Kelly explains to Tamra that Shannon set her up at the Mrs. Roper Party. Tamra, shit stirrer extraordinaire delivers her line from production with glee, ” That girl at the party thinks you suck dick to pay your bills.” Is that girl going to be an FOH to Shannon all season? Will I have to remember her stupid name or can we just keep calling her “that girl”?
Tamra calls Meghan about Vicki being at her Insemination Party and Meghan has a meltdown. She doesn’t want Vicki at the party. Tamra tells us that Meghan said it was fine the day before, but if that is true, why did she call Meghan and ask her again the next day. This was a poorly written scene to foreshadow Vicki pissing off everyone at the party. This pisses Tamra off.
Meanwhile at Vicki’s house she is ignoring her dying daughter and flogging the children. Oh wait, no. No she is not. She is having a lovely family dinner while Briana whines about how difficult the renovation of her house is. It’s always a good idea to renovate a home while you have serious medical issues in your life. Aren’t there supposed to be two boys? Did someone eat one of her young? Vicki wants a new husband. She wants a younger one that she can have sex and travel with. This seems like a good idea to me. Briana wants her to get back with Don.
It’s time for a new episode of RHOOC. I think if there is one thing we can agree on, (unless you are one of my nice Canookian friends) is we hate Shannon. Therefore, it is important to overlook many of Vicki’s egregious flaws and Kelly’s racist rants, and root for these two. No? Well whatever. That is my plan for surviving this season. It’s the turning a blind eye plan. In other news, the word ‘frenemies’ is not longer underlined as a misspelled word. I find that fascinating. Also, I won’t be recapping Kelly on WWHL tonight because I have no appetite and am drinking wine anyway and I have one more post I need to do after this that I won’t be able to get up before WWHL, so I’ll do it first thing tomorrow. And by first thing I mean like probably around 5 pm.
I think that we all need to understand that Meghan was told to uncover Brooks cancer lies by production and maybe cut her some slack. There I said it. Is it just me that wants to give her a fresh start? I mean, maybe it is the fact that I too am married to a gay man (In my head, and yes, he knows) that makes me want to try again with her. But my gay husband treats me like the Queen of Sheba and it is the best relationship I’ve ever had. Her gay husband is kind of an asshole. I’m not sure that cohabitation is a good idea if you are married to a gay man. Because, you know, they obviously have other relationships. I mean mine is married and faithful to his gay husband. This works well for us. He gives me more emotional comfort in a day than Jim has given her in an entire “marriage” and we have never even spoken on the phone. I find this to be the ideal marital relationship. YMMV. Anyway, she is trying to hatch an egg because in Orange County it is important to have what I call an anchor baby with any man gay or straight. Because, child support.
Also, I kind of like Meghan’s mom. She’s really pretty. She is with Meghan for the egg retrieval. I’m having wine on an empty tummy so I am making this more about me than is necessary. Meghan is blabbing away on her medication much like I am. While still on the drugs Meghan tells her doctor she met his ex wife with a colorful mouth the night before. Apparently he used to be married to the purse stealing bitch from last week.
I literally feeling like my brain is decaying. I’m serious. My brain feels heavy in my skull, I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open and my eyes are blurry. I think between the heat and all the serious decisions I’ve had to make lately, I have fried and possibly pickled my brain. But I shall try to recap this nonsense as best I can.
Heather can sing? Apparently so. She sang the national anthem at the Angels game recently.
Right away Andy plays the clip of Vicki calling Brooks. I don’t get the big mystery here. She is being ostracized by the group for a situation he is ultimately responsible for, and she loved him even though he was horrible to her. She left a party feeling alone, and she drunk dialed. Am I the only one who has ever drunk dialed the last person on earth I’d ever want to see sober? I guarantee you before Vicki even open her eyes the next day her first thought was “Please tell me I didn’t really call him.”
Next week Shannon and Kelly get together to
work things out argue some more. Shannon denies setting Kelly up with the two bitches at her party. She claims one of the women was instrumental in “helping Heather and her with their HOA.” The problem they had with their HOA was that everyone hates them for filming in the neighborhood. It could not be anymore obvious that those two were there to attack Kelly.
It’s time for another episode of RHOOC and my new laptop just finished updating to all sorts of things I have no idea how to use. So this may take a bit longer than usual. Like now, I am trying to do a search in my search box and all I get is a blue circle. Sigh. This laptop was too expensive not to be the fastest thing on the planet. It’s possible things are still updating in the background.
Forgive me for sticking to the big issues tonight, and I appreciate y’all filling in all of the stuff I don’t spell out here that was of interest to you. Heather is pissed that Terry has to be out of town on Mother’s Day. She is actually pissed that he is working so much he basically never sees the kids. Which is bullshit. She knew what she was getting into when she married a plastic surgeon in Orange County. The work apparently never ends.
Jim could not be any more disinterested in Meghan’s IVF.
GOD IS ON MY SIDE!
I get it. You guys hate Vicki. I’m not sure why I don’t. You have valid reasons for feeling the way you do. She doesn’t own her mistakes and rarely admits she lied. She’s a flawed person. Her tagline this season is something like “Before you judge me, you better be perfect.” I’m certainly not and I can identify with her flaws. I judge lots of other housewives harshly for probably a lot less. We all like who we like and dislike who we chose based our own life experiences.
That said, I was disturbed at all the accusations about Vicki in this weeks RHOOC comments. It’s obvious to me that Briana is very sick and the doctors don’t know what is going on. Vicki’s daughter who she loves very much was seriously ill, half way across the country with two young boys and a husband who was unable to provide much help. I don’t understand all the scrutiny surrounding her bringing her kid home.