I’m going to admit upfront, I’ve forgotten everything I ever knew about Alexis Bellino except that Tamra called her Jesus Jugs. Oh thank God David’s assistant whose name escapes me is filling us all in. It’s apparently their ten-year anniversary. It has to be done in a week. David also has his daughter’s first birthday party, Cielo. I hate that name by the way. It makes me think of CeeLo. It looks pretty on paper, but doesn’t sound right.
Alexis pretends to be shocked that David Tutera is in her house, despite being wired with a mike and camera crew all over her house. Did Alexis always talk this much? Alexis has ten ideas that don’t go together. Jim and Alexis are already fighting. My head hurts already. I have a 90 minute RHONJ episode to recap in less than two hours. I may not have time for this much drama.
Alexis and David are arguing at Michael Costello’s design studio. Alexis asked for a red dress but now has decided she wants plum which is good because when she walks out in the plum dress it is full of pins and tailoring cloth and she had clearly already been fitted for the dress several times. So no shocker, that will be her dress. Yet the charade continues. I think they just like making Alexis look stupid in ugly dresses. Alexis picks a white dress that she wants in red. David leaves to go take care of his kid’s birthday party because this staged scene is ridiculous. Continue reading
This makes me so sad. I think it may have something to do with how her mother was treated. But according to USWeekly, Lydia has quit RHOOC! The rumor mill has it that Alexis and Gretchen were fired for lack of storyline. So, RHOOC will have a major shakeup. Only Vicki, Tamra and Heather are still standing. Continue reading
Tonight, I am not writing a recap. I am giving you all a pop quiz. So put on your thinking caps and get ready to answer some tough questions. Actually, it’s just two. You can do it. There is a key at the bottom. Continue reading
It’s been yet another rainy weekend in ATL which makes me much more likely to nap, than blog. But the sun is on for now, so let’s see if the clip show of Real Housewives of Orange County had any good moments. I am not expecting much.
I have seen all of this on the reunion, so far. Have I already seen this show? Maybe a first look? Lydia was a virgin when she got married. But do we need fifteen minutes of discussion about it? Heather comes by the stick up her ass through DNA. Continue reading
With rumors swirling that even after all the Brooks drama, Vicki is still seeing him, we get to see Vicki take another blow or three regarding the Brooks issue. Why on earth Brianna would humiliate her mother publicly rather than delivering the blows more softly and in private is beyond me.
Does Heather’s story about someone just deciding they must have her house ring true for y’all? I mean I’m sure it happens on rare occasions… but it just seems sort of random. OMG! She is really defending the onion ring incident? Yes, Heather, the man should have had his onion rings. In a question about Heather emasculating Terry, Heather’s answer is …wait for it…emasculating. Continue reading
Filed under Alexis Bellino, Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Jesus Barbie, Jim Bellino, Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Vicki Gunvalson
Before we even start, can someone explain to me who is dressing Andy lately? What is with all the hideous ties and no socks. He wore NO SOCKS for the Oprahcalpse and he is sockless again tonight wearing saddle shoes! I personally hate socks and rarely wear them, but with saddle shoes? That has to hurt! His wardrobe has really gone down.
I am ten minutes in to the reunion and there is nothing interesting to report. I don’t want to talk about Lydia’s mom’s pot smoking or Tamra’s teary suicide story. Let’s get to something interesting. I do love the audience comment that Tamra has been a bitch for six seasons, one speech is not going to change your image. I love how Andrew let’s the viewers make all the nasty observations and completely keeps the blood off his beige suit. Continue reading
Better late than never?
It’s time for the Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Part One, otherwise known as Rehashing of The Same Old Arguments One More Time. I don’t get why Vicki is still not divorced from Don. I know these things take time but in California, don’t they just divide everything down the middle and that is that? Oh, Vicki doesn’t want to have to pay spousal support.
Gretchen and Heather both have stank faces as the Mexico drama reel plays. Gretchen’s dress, is making me claustrophobic. I could not handle a dress that wraps around my throat. Now they are literally showing clips from past reunions as they bring up the same old rumors about Gretchen cheating on Jeff. Lydia is somehow moderating the reunion. Oh great, Tamra has whipped out a file of photos of Gretchen making out with her side piece. We get it. She cheated. Move on.
Heather and Lydia get into it about the magazine cover. Lydia says Heather is just not well-known enough for the cover. Lydia did have a lengthy spread in the issue and that still irks Heather. Heather apparently blasted Lydia in her blog and Lydia is still pissed even though Heather apologized. These two still hate each other.
Lauri is on the couch! This should be good. Hmmm, I thought the grandbaby was in foster care? Yet here are photos of Josh and the baby. Lauri says everyone is just hunky dory. Odd. When Andy asks about Josh’s issues with addiction, Lauri says it is a process and he still as hope. That doesn’t sound like he is in the recovery stage. I really wish I knew where this foster care story originated from. I can’t see anyone just making that up, yet I have searched and found no credible source for the rumor. By credible source I do not mean someone saying it on a blog. I mean there must be a court record somewhere. Continue reading
YAY! It is a RHOOC mandatory party! Who will go sleep with the fishes penguins? The topic is of course how much everyone hates Gretchen (and Slade.) There are actual people at this party. Where did they come from? Ryan is cavorting with the enemy talking trash about Vicki to Gretchen and Slade. He is sure to point out that Brooks is a douchebag. Gretchen confronts Heather about Malibu Country Gate 2013. Heather is very condescending to Gretchen about the whole thing. Heather has an acting career, and Gretchen is a wannabe. Gretchen apologizes for hurting Heather’s feelings by being disengaged at the Hot in Cleveland shoot and that is not good enough for Heather. What is wrong with Heather this season? Why is she such a follower of the pack when everyone decides the season target is Gretchen?
Tamra apologizes to Jim Bellino! This is a sure sign of the apocalypse! Jim and Alexis both cry! I am speechless! Continue reading
Time for the Real Housewives of Orange County! Personally, after just watching two people cry for an entire hour on The Bachelorette, probably need and extry anti-depressant. But don’t talk about that, the unfortunate west coasters have not seen it yet. Continue reading
Sorry for delay. I have been having major problems with my laptop and have been unable to get online since around noon on Monday. I am about to go to the Tamara Tattlers satellite office (at Mickey Dees) and try to get some things up.
On to the Real Housewives of Orange County Recap…Gretchen is mad at everyone. Tamra has betrayed her again. Heather is jealous of her acting roles. Blah, blah, blah. You are the chosen one for the bad edit this season, Gretchen. You had no problem ganging up on Alexis when it was her turn for the bad edit, or Vicki, when it was her season for the bad edit. What comes around goes around.
Heather and Terry got a $16.45 million offer on their house when it was not even on the market. That is pretty amazing with the soft real estate market in California. They would be fools not to take it so they decided to build a new house and Terry has already found the lot. Continue reading
Being a blogger on a Monday Night!
Tamra starts by going after Vicki’s dress, which I LOVE. It is the best dress I have ever seen Vicki in. I love how she refers to the gif above that I put up last night before seeing the show.
Lydia has HUGE eyeballs. Ever since I heard that your eyes are the same size since birth, I keep trying to imagine a baby with those eyeballs. Am I weird? Don’t answer that.
We start with a sit down dinner. Which is the housewives equivalent of a boxing ring. A bunch of dumb blondes trying to define irony and hypocrisy is rather amusing. This conversation between Gretchen and Vicki is amazingly calm and bitchy at the same time. Ooops spoke too soon. Vicki is banging the table and turning into Rosie. Continue reading
The RHOOC leaving LAX for their trip to Whistler.
I am watching the very end of last week’s show and the credits are rolling and I just happened to notice the following, “Promotional Consideration Provided by Wines for Wives.” I found that odd. I thought that the whole point of these products was the free advertising. Now Bravo is making the housewives pay for advertising? Very interesting.
This is going to be a down and dirty blog because I have to be done by 10 because my DVR is recording two shows and 10 and I will miss the ending if I get too far behind. So y’all feel free to add in the details I miss tonight in comments. Lydia is taking everyone skiing in Canada. I posted about this at the time. I’m dying to see Whistler. I’ve never been there. I would make fun of the Bible that Alexis gave Lydia but I have one like it covered in mother of pearl. I think we got it in Jerusalem. It wins any my Bible is prettier than your bible contests. Sorry RHOOC.
Tamra quote of the night, “Vicki will hardly say vagina. She’s definitely not going to go down on one.” Continue reading
Filed under Alexis Bellino, Bravo, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Jesus Barbie, Lauri Waring Peterson, Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Tamra Barney, Vicki Gunvalson