Category Archives: Jesus Barbie

David Tutera’s CELEBRations: Alexis Bellino’s Vow Renewal

CELEBrations Alexis meltdown. I’m going to admit upfront, I’ve forgotten everything I ever knew about Alexis Bellino except that Tamra called her Jesus Jugs. Oh thank God David’s assistant whose name escapes me is filling us all in. It’s apparently their ten-year anniversary. It has to be done in a week. David also has his daughter’s first birthday party, Cielo. I hate that  name by the way. It makes me think of CeeLo. It looks pretty on paper, but doesn’t sound right.

Alexis pretends to be shocked that David Tutera is in her house, despite being wired with a mike and camera crew all over her house. Did Alexis always talk this much? Alexis has ten ideas that don’t go together. Jim and Alexis are already fighting. My head hurts already. I have a 90 minute RHONJ episode to recap in less than two hours. I may not have time for this much drama.

Alexis and David are arguing at Michael  Costello’s design studio.  Alexis asked for a red dress but now has decided she wants plum which is good because when she walks out in the plum dress it is full of pins and tailoring cloth and she had clearly already been fitted for the dress several times.  So no shocker, that will be her dress.  Yet the charade continues. I think they just like making Alexis look stupid in ugly dresses. Alexis picks a white dress that she wants in red. David leaves to go take care of his kid’s birthday party because this staged scene is ridiculous. Continue reading

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Filed under Alexis Bellino, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Jim Bellino, Jesus Barbie, Lydia Stirling McLaughlin

Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Part 3

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With rumors swirling that even after all the Brooks drama, Vicki is still seeing him, we get to see Vicki take another blow or three regarding the Brooks issue. Why on earth Brianna would humiliate her mother publicly rather than delivering the blows more softly and in private is beyond me.

Does Heather’s story about someone just deciding they must have her house ring true for y’all? I mean I’m sure it happens on rare occasions… but it just seems sort of random.  OMG! She is really defending the onion ring incident? Yes, Heather, the man should have had his onion rings. In a question about Heather emasculating Terry, Heather’s answer is …wait for it…emasculating. Continue reading

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Filed under Alexis Bellino, Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Jesus Barbie, Jim Bellino, Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Vicki Gunvalson

Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Part 2

The Real Housewives of Orange County - Season 8Before we even start, can someone explain to me who is dressing Andy lately? What is with all the hideous ties and no socks.  He wore NO SOCKS for the Oprahcalpse and he is sockless again tonight wearing saddle shoes! I personally hate socks and rarely wear them, but with saddle shoes? That has to hurt! His wardrobe has  really gone down.

I am ten minutes in to the reunion and there is nothing interesting to report. I don’t want to talk about Lydia’s mom’s pot smoking or Tamra’s teary suicide story. Let’s get to something interesting.  I do love the audience comment that Tamra has been a bitch for six seasons, one speech is not going to change your image. I love how Andrew let’s the viewers make all the nasty observations and completely keeps the blood off his beige suit. Continue reading

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Filed under Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Jesus Barbie, Lauri Waring Peterson, Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Vicki Gunvalson

Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Pt. I

RHOOCcast2Better late than never?

It’s time for the Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Part One, otherwise known as Rehashing of The Same Old Arguments One More Time. I don’t get why Vicki is still not divorced from Don. I know these things take time but in California, don’t they just divide everything down the middle and that is that? Oh, Vicki doesn’t want to have to pay spousal support.

Gretchen and Heather both have stank faces as the Mexico drama reel plays. Gretchen’s dress, is making me claustrophobic. I could not handle a dress that wraps around my throat. Now they are literally showing clips from past reunions as they bring up the same old rumors about Gretchen cheating on Jeff. Lydia is somehow moderating the reunion. Oh great, Tamra has whipped out a file of photos of Gretchen making out with her side piece.  We get it. She cheated. Move on.

Heather and Lydia get into it about the magazine cover. Lydia says Heather is just not well-known enough for the cover. Lydia did have a lengthy spread in the issue and that still irks Heather. Heather apparently blasted Lydia in her blog and Lydia is still pissed even though Heather apologized. These two still hate each other.

Lauri is on the couch! This should be good. Hmmm, I thought the grandbaby was in foster care? Yet here are photos of Josh and the baby. Lauri says everyone is just hunky dory. Odd. When Andy asks about Josh’s issues with addiction, Lauri says it is a process and he still as hope. That doesn’t sound like he is in the recovery stage. I really wish I knew where this foster care story originated from. I can’t see anyone just making that up, yet I have searched and found no credible source for the rumor. By credible source I do not mean someone saying it on a blog. I mean there must be a court record somewhere. Continue reading

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RHOOC Finale Recap: What the Heck is Ryan’s Deal?

RHOOCallYAY! It is a RHOOC mandatory party! Who will go sleep with the fishes penguins? The topic is of course how much everyone hates Gretchen (and Slade.) There are actual people at this party. Where did they come from?  Ryan is cavorting with the enemy talking trash about  Vicki to Gretchen and Slade. He is sure to point out that Brooks is a douchebag. Gretchen confronts Heather about Malibu Country Gate 2013. Heather is very condescending to Gretchen about the whole thing. Heather has an acting career, and Gretchen is a wannabe. Gretchen apologizes for hurting Heather’s feelings by being disengaged at the Hot in Cleveland shoot and that is not good enough for Heather. What is wrong with Heather this season?  Why is she such a follower of the pack when everyone decides the season target is Gretchen?

Tamra apologizes to Jim Bellino! This is a sure sign of the apocalypse! Jim and Alexis both cry! I am speechless! Continue reading

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Filed under Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Jesus Barbie, Jim Bellino, Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Vicki Gunvalson

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap

RHOOCcast2Time for the Real Housewives of Orange County! Personally, after just watching two people cry for an entire hour on The Bachelorette, probably need and extry anti-depressant. But don’t talk about that, the unfortunate west coasters have not seen it yet. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Some of the Girls Get Dirty Snowballed

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Being a blogger on a Monday Night!

Tamra starts by going after Vicki’s dress, which I LOVE. It is the best dress I have ever seen Vicki in. I love how she refers to the gif above that I put up last night before seeing the show.

Lydia has HUGE eyeballs. Ever since I heard that your eyes are the same size since birth, I keep trying to imagine a baby with those eyeballs. Am I weird? Don’t answer that.

We start with a sit down dinner. Which is the housewives equivalent of a boxing ring.  A bunch of dumb blondes trying to define irony and hypocrisy is rather amusing.  This conversation between Gretchen and Vicki is amazingly calm and bitchy at the same time.  Ooops spoke too soon. Vicki is banging the table and turning into Rosie. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Orange County Recap

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The RHOOC leaving LAX for their trip to Whistler.

 

I am watching the very end of last week’s show and the credits are rolling and I just happened to notice the following, “Promotional Consideration Provided by Wines for Wives.” I found that odd. I thought that the whole point of these products was the free advertising. Now Bravo is making the housewives pay for advertising? Very interesting.

This is going to be a down and dirty blog because I have to be done by 10 because my DVR is recording two shows and 10 and I will miss the ending if I get too far behind. So y’all feel free to add in the details I miss tonight in comments. Lydia is taking everyone skiing in Canada. I posted about this at the time. I’m dying to see Whistler. I’ve never been there. I would make fun of the Bible that Alexis gave Lydia but I have one like it covered in mother of pearl. I think we got it in Jerusalem. It wins any my Bible is prettier than your bible contests. Sorry RHOOC.

Tamra quote of the night, “Vicki will hardly say vagina. She’s definitely not going to go down on one.” Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Orange County: Someone Needs to be Donkey Punched

RHOOCcast2Sorry for the delay on the Real Housewives of Orange County Recap, I took one of my great sleeps. It seems weird to be recapping it during the day, but here we go!

Poor Lydia has a scene with Tamra to discuss Alexis. It seems that Lydia has been tasked with bringing Alexis and Tamra together. Lydia says she is the friendship whisperer. She seems to be enjoying this role. Tamra’s transformation into someone likeable begins with this episode.

Gretchen and Heather are planning a bachelorette party for Tamra. Which is sort of hilarious because behind the scenes Gretchen and Tamra are clawing each other’s eyes out trying to be the one to get a wedding spin-off. Rumor has it Tamra won that battle. Back on the show, Bravo has made an ad deal with some swimsuit company that is not that chick from Shahs of Sunset  Gretchen does what everyone does when they throw a bachelorette party, they design a custom swimsuit for someone who cannot show up for a fitting. Yeah, I don’t get this either. Heather wants an art gallery and spa treatments. Gretchen just wants strippers. I am not sure how we went there but now they are arguing over swimsuits. This whole scene was …odd. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Orange County Recap : I Don’t Believe In Anything, But I Want to Be Someone Who Believes…

RHOOCcast2I’m BAAACK! Sorry for cheating on y’all with my new Jodi Arias friends. Some of them watch real housewives though so we will have some new people to argue with and call names friends!  We begin Real Housewives of Orange County tonight with Heather complaining to Tamra. Gretchen was rude at my Hot in Cleveland shoot. Things are not perfect with my rich husband and beautiful family! Why must I suffer so much?! etc.

This shoot in Laguna is making me miss my friend Kimberly who lives in the OC about a 5 blocks from the beach (you may recall her guest blog here). Why does watching TV make me want to book flights to every location I see? I’m such a nomad. Must wander.  Anyway. Lydia is the “Cynthia” of RHOOC. She is the one that has to catch the outsider housewife (Alexis) on everything to which she was not invited. Lydia wants to smooth the waters for Alexis with the other girls and thinks she needs to talk to Tamra.

Vicki goes to visit Brooks where he lives in a house for which Vicki probably pays. She walks in like she owns the place, because she probably does. Brooks needs hair plugs or to shave his head. Vicki brings lunch from some place that serves an upscale meat and two veggies. Brooks wants to take Vicki to a nice hotel for the weekend, but she has to babysit and offers up the following weekend. Brooks is “unavailable” (he muttered that and I had to listen twice).  Unavailable because….? That should be Vicki’s first THREE questions. I’m GUESSING she supports his ass. The next weekend he goes to Mississippi to see his kids and his daughter’s play. Really? I thought all his exes despised him. hmmm. The whole scene seemed very scripted  and uncomfortable. What woman would not ask what he is doing during that middle weekend?

Tamra is meeting with a speech coach because she’s “never spoke” in front of people before. Blah blah whatever. I’m bored. I’m focused on how creepy this speech expert dude is. Continue reading

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Random Thoughts on the Real Housewives of Orange County Rolls Royce Commercials

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Remember that episode of Real Housewives of Orange County y’all watched last Monday? Well I FINALLY WATCHED IT! And since it’s rather late for a recap, I will just share some random thoughts. Mostly about Lauri, and Gretchen…. Click through for the tea… Continue reading

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Random Thoughts on Real Housewives of Orange County

RHOOCcast2Ooops. I lost track of time while babysitting another thread. So this isn’t going to be a full recap. Or even much of a recap at all. Let’s call it a “random thoughts” post tonight. I find myself saying that a lot about The Real Housewives of Orange County. It’s not that I don’t like the show, there just usually isn’t a whole lot to comment on.  We begin, or at least I’m beginning at the Wine for Wives Infomercial. Immediately upon arrival it seems the evil hand of Tamra is already stirring the pot.  Everyone is staying in the same building except for Vicki who has been ostracized.  Vicki already feels out of place being the only single lady there and now she is not even in the same building with the wives. She gets a little teary-eyed and the evil blonds immediately start to mock her.Tamra does the Adrienne Maloof “Someone is crying!” routine. They must teach them that in Bravo villain school. Terry  and Lydia each offer to take Vicki into their room (I am sure Heather will have a fit about that) which I am sure only made Vicki feel worse. Poor Vick. She is not a very emotionally independent person. Continue reading

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Filed under Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Jesus Barbie, Jim Bellino, Lauri Waring Peterson, Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Tamra Barney, Vicki Gunvalson