Remember when we liked Carole? Back before Aviva showed up and her true personality emerged? Yeah, I can barely get there myself. Carole is one of the more intelligent people ever to agree to do a reality show. She also vastly over estimates the intelligence of the average viewer and the average housewife on these shows. She doesn’t vary her delivery to best reach her audience. This week, Bethenny once again produced no blog. So Carole has resorted to obfuscation of her message via the inclusion of a ridiculous amount of uncredited movie quotes alongside numerous vicious insults toward both Tom and Luann.
I have decided to respond in kind purple penning entirely with book quotes from Douglas Adams’, Life The Universe and Everything because it just seems appropriate. Occasionally, names or genders have been altered in quotes to fit the format.
Well, for a brief shining moment we all thought Luann would pay attention to what the Universe dropped in her lap. She’d learn the lesson, go back to New York and tell TomDickHarry to hit the road. I would be Thelma to her Louise, but with a different ending. She’d bang Brad Pitt and return to New York a confident woman who didn’t take any sh– from any man. Take that TomDickHarry!
“Well, in a few skirmishes she’s recently… it seems that she goes into battle, raises her weapons to fire and suddenly thinks, why bother? What, cosmically speaking, is it all about? And she just seems to get a little tired and a little grim.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything
If it feels like we have been talking about this hideous storyline all day, it’s because we have. Here and also Here. I’m overly saturated with the topic and moreso but the morons that say things like, “this isn’t Bethenny’s fault it’s Tom’s.” Which is horseshit. Bethenny has been stabbing at Luann the entire season and has literally hired a fucking P.I. to follow Tom while she and Luann were in Florida. She is a despicable person. That is what we are here to discuss. Luann’s method of dealing with Tom’s ass has not been the focus of the show we are discussing.
Okay so it is one picture. And Bethenny seems to know that he left without paying his tab. She sure does know every little detail doesn’t she. It was super important for her to tell Luann that he left the girl with the check. She sure got her moneys worth.
Dorinda and Jules point out that the photo is not time stamped and could be from any time. As they console Luann, Bethenny’s minions come in to comfort her. Because really, this is all about Bethenny and her feelings. Ramona and Bethenny try to out fake cry each other. Ramona of course had it worse because she found out on Page Six, which she keeps repeating hoping someone will agree with her. Seriously, we are supposed to believe that Bethenny just ended Luann’s engagement and Bethenny is being the most dramatic person of them all. Ordering her minions to get her a drink and then leave the room because Lu is back and “she doesn’t want to do this as a group thing.” She had no problem telling the whole group before she dumped on Luann but now, she doesn’t want a group thing.
Despite having the finale to recap tonight and a new post just today on Bethenny’s relentless attacks on Luann this season, I feel the need to post yet another piece on the vile nature of Bethenny Frankel’s behavior this season. She has spent the summer giving multiple interviews about RHONY this summer about how she doesn’t want to do anything related to RHONY this summer. She bemoans how the show (i.e. her nasty behavior) has been bad for her brand and she needs to rethink some things and does the usual lying about perhaps not coming back next season. Yet, don’t get your hopes up boys and girls. I’m afraid we are stuck with this wench.
Luann and Tom have moved past his indiscretion with the “former Playboy model” who has to my knowledge kept her name out of the press. Luann is far more disgusted with how Bethenny went about sharing her private investigation into her life with the world. It the information had just fallen into Bethenny’s lap, she should have handled it off camera. But as the facts continue to come out, it seems Bethenny was actively seeking out information on her relationship to inflict pain.
Luann shared new information with People.
“It was disgusting. Her handling of the situation – and I go over this at the reunion – was terrible. She could have went to Dorinda, who introduced us, and said ‘Look I have this.’ [But] she was like the cat who got the canary. Does a good friend do that to you? Someone who has your best interest in mind? No.”
“It’s not authentic,” she continued. “It’s made for television. And that’s what she is.”
The best thing about tonight’s RHONY finale is that it will soon be over. Bethenny, finally shows Luann the photographic proof of Tom making out with some playboy bunny in the middle of The Regency which has been promoted to death on the show as their favorite bar. Luann, I am told DID NOT LOOK AT THE PHOTOS. I’m going to bet we don’t get to see these pictures either. We definitely don’t hear anyone on the other end of the phone Luann is shouting into. I’m going to guess that the reason that Bethenny was so shook after the reunion, is that more information on this situation comes out.
Since this horrific storyline all began, Bethenny has been getting a lot of backlash. She is now concerned it is affecting her business. She probably should have considered that sooner. Angry RHONY viewers have been on a (fruitless) mission to get Bethenny fired, and have been bashing her brand.
Click though for a sneak peek [VIDEO] of tonight’s big scene. Continue reading
It’s time for Andy’s favorite moment of the season, when Bethenny rips Lu’s heart out of her chest and eats it. It has come down to this because Luann has remained unbothered by each and every escalating attack all season even when the entire pack has attacked at once. Luann must pay, so Bethenny has put out feelers or perhaps hired a P.I. to tail Tom and get her some dirt. If you don’t believe that, then you must believe Bethenny has lots of friends who happen to be strategically located wherever Tom is who feel comfortable calling a woman with a small child sleeping in the house at 2 a.m. If you believe that you must also believe that Bethenny has tons of friends who are mutual acquaintances of every who just so happen to tell her about things like Jules marriage.
Speaking of Bethenny, I have been asleep for almost 18 hours, I woke up to several emails saying that Bethenny is thinking of leaving the show because she is butthurt over the reunion and some legal issues with Bravo. While I could see her quitting over the first one, if you go to the ET story that is the source, she is referring to the fact that some of the other housewives refuse to show all of their personal lives on the show and keep some things “behind a do not cross police line.” That’s an odd comment from someone whose ex husband wisely will not let her pimp her daughter on the show. Bethenny wants to control her edit and she clearly can’t do that on RHONY. If she leaves, it will be because she has a radio show now, where she has total control of the content. That said, Bethenny’s dramatic comments always seem to come on a show day. Take that as you will.
And now, I am going to try to do a decent job on this recap as I get it is a very important episode. But, I’m working at half speed so apologies in advance.
Wow, somehow they got everything back on time for WWHL at eleven. This should be a good one.
Okay we are five minutes in and I haven’t typed anything. It usually takes me twenty minutes to recap the first seven minutes. I’m sort of at a loss for words. In general, Andy is being super nice to Sonja and talking about how it was great to run into her with her daughter in the Hamptons over the weekend. But he seems to be trying to set up a New York, New Jersey rivalry here. Teresa has learned not to say she has never met the other housewife before, because she always has, so she says she has probably run across Sonia at a Bravo event. As usual, Sonia points out that she has met Teresa several times.
The gif of the night, and the clips that Andy shows are all very negative toward Teresa and then he asks her why she was so upset with Jac, was it calling her brother or the bankruptcy fraud. Teresa says that the second one was uncalled for. I cannot comprehend how someone who held up an entire filming season because they were in prison for bankruptcy fraud would expect to film and have no one mention the crimes she committed.
We see a clip from the next RHONY where Bethenny, Ramona and Sonja continue their obsession with Tom. Sonia says that she slept with Tom just before Thanksgiving. Andy says that Sonja gives new meaning to the term, “Thanksgiving spread” because Andy feels like that is an appropriate thing to say to a woman on national TV.