Category Archives: Countess Luann

Real Housewives of New York Reunion Part 2 Recap: Ramona Tells All

The sparkly couch.

                                                             The sparkly couch.

I had no idea this was coming on at 8 pm tonight. In fact I just saw it recording and stopped it because I thought it was a social edition of last week. I was busy watching  The Donald Trump Show which is currently airing on every news channel on cable.  It’s mesmerizing.  The news channels are handing Trump this election.  Anyway, on to the show.

I am over the Carole and Adam argument. Carole says this was never a problem with Luann. Luann admits she didn’t mention it. Let it go people!

Finally, on to Dorinda. Andy LOVES Dorinda. Dorinda doesn’t work she inherited her husband’s business which she sold when he died. Hannah doesn’t watch the show and isn’t thrilled that social media talks about her.  Dorinda says Hannah is more reserved like her father and not really into the how show thing. Bethenny keeps jumping in to answer for Dorinda.  THAT’S interesting.  People bring up John’s less attractive points, he wants his business on the show (Bethenny of all people brought that up), he is a bit “handsy”, and the bottom line is Dorinda is happy with him and everyone needs to shut the fuck up.  Kristen’s big moment on the reunion thus far as that a drunk date of one of the housewives got a bit handsy with her. Is she twelve?  Every woman on earth know how to deal with these situations. Dorinda is like, so did you call 911? Continue reading

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Carole Says Talking To Luann Is Like Trying To Reason With a Toddler

RHONY Carole

Frankly, this Adam kid was pretty much Carole and Luann’s entire storyline this season. Sure Carole picked up some ashes and Luann made some scrambled eggs, but these two butting into each others’ sex lives was pretty much their entire story arc.  Carole is dating the help!  Luann is screwing married dudes from the bar! I truly believe that Carole and Heather of all people did not give a crap about the naked guy in the next room. It was all just a reason to try and catch Luann in the bed with someone.  When that didn’t work, suddenly the house manager was telling on Luann to Kristen, as good house managers do.  There seemed to be a big retaliatory plot against Luann for constantly pointing out he vast age difference between Carole and Luann.

Despite my “WHO CARES?” attitude about who consenting adults choose to sleep with, I thought I would purple pen Carole this week. Heather’s entire blog was about what she wore, and Luann’s was about her fugly dress and scrambled eggs and other things I can’t even remember. Oh and there was some sucking up to Bethenny involved. Anyway, on to Carole.

Bravotv.com: What upset you most about the confrontation with Luann at the reunion?

CR: Nothing really upset me, because Luann threw away any chance at a real friendship long ago. That said…it is difficult to have an intelligent conversation with her, because she has no ability to self-reflect, and much of what I said seemed to go over her head. Although, yikes! I did not mince my words!

I kind of have to giggle at the way Carole throws shade. While I would just go the easy route and say Luann is a moron, she just points out the difficulty of having an intelligent conversation with her. I really should take a page from Carole’s book and be less direct, I generally don’t have the patience and just scream, “Get away from me you stupid cow! I hate you!” It’s much easier than expecting self-reflection from the other party. That said, Carole could have asked herself why this issue that she finds trivial seems to have upset Luann so much. So, pot, kettle. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Reunion Recap: Part 1

We begin with great news. Heather has agreed to retire the word “holla!” from her vocabulary. Carole is already rolling her eyes at Luann.  Apparently, Dorinda got a call from Hillary Clinton’s campaign office or something saying that Hillary is a fan? I’m not really sure as my DVR hiccupped at that particular moment in time.

We begin with the return of Bethenny this season. We get a crying montage. And a dancing montage. And a get off my jock, I’m bored with this montage.  Bethenny is still not divorced. Bethenny says that of all of the drama she has had in her life this is by far the worst. Carole says that she has been there at the court appointed times for phone calls with Brynn and that Jason would not pick up the phone.  Bethenny implies that Jason is fame hungry.  Bethenny stays by her homeless comment. I personally don’t think it was official.

Heather claims that LuAnn was not happy about Bethenny’s return and intended to “bring her down.” Carole and Heather say that Luann made a toast saying just that at a luncheon.  Luann says they are lying and she doesn’t remember it. Luann’s dress is hideous.  Heather appears to be wearing a green silk bathrobe with an exposed black bra. Perhaps her dress was lost?  I love Bethenny’s white top with black sequined pants.   Continue reading

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Bravo Teases RHONY Three Part Reunion

RHONY Heather and the Countess

Here is the official Bravo public relations release for the upcoming reunion. Is it just me or does it sound not that interesting?

The defining, three-part New York City reunion begins Tuesday, August 18 at 9PM, with some conflicting accounts of how the ladies reacted to the return of Bethenny. Fortunately, as they take a look back at her outbursts from the season, Bethenny is able to reflect on how she handled herself with the new women this season. As the ladies remember their Atlantic City adventures, tensions resurface as Heather is unforgiving about being left in Sonja’s foyer.  However, it’s Sonja who is on high defense as the women once again take issue with her partying ways.  Then, from boyfriends to girl codes, the royal rumble continues between Luann and Carole.

Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York: Old Habits & Hot Dresses

The ugliness of Bethenny's shirt is not fully depicted here.

The ugliness of Bethenny’s shirt is not fully depicted here.

 

Oh hey! It’s a glamorous housewives fashion show episode! These always go off with out a hitch! I can hardly wait.

Carole

Heather and Carole meet at a very crowded bar to catch up on the trip to London. Carole says that it was really great to talk to a fellow widow. Carole had a bit of trouble getting through customs when the bag the urn was in was pulled for a special search by TSA.  Turns out there was a tube of hand lotion in there they didn’t like.  International baggage inspectors can be very thorough. Heather tells Carole that Ramona was a slutty, rude , angry bitch at Bethenny’s infomercial last week.

Sonja

Bethenny shows up at Sonja’s pre-fashion show meeting that is being held in a conference room rented for the day. Bethenny wonders where the company is headquartered. Sonja of course has not bothered to arrive yet.  Bethenny is informed it’s a casting call for the models. Bethenny says in a talking head that is not her wheelhouse, she all about the branding and the marketing plan but she has no idea about models. Is it possible that Sonja doesn’t know what she is doing?  Bethenny is wearing the most dreadful black shirt with a  giant bow on it I’ve ever seen. It seems like something from the Nene Leakes collection. Sonja arrives and loves the hideous look which only serves to confirm my opinion of the whole fugly ensemble. Bethenny is pissed that she had to wait for Sonja at her own meeting. Sonja doesn’t care.

OMG I was already off to a late start because I dropped a huge glass in the middle of my kitchen floor at 9:02 and it shattered everywhere. Now I’ve had to pause to collapse into a fit of hysteria as Sonja says she is going to debut her clothing line at New York Fashion week. Sonja and Nene really need to hang out. At least Nene has a fashion line with actual clothes allow her to put her name on a line and call it a day. Sonja appears to be doing everything herself. Heather shows up to help too. She will do better with the models. How are they going to have models walk in this tiny conference room.

Sonja insults the first model. Bethenny and Heather call her out on it. Sonja says it’s perfectly normal to point out the model’s qualities that make them unusable. She gets mad at Heather for saying she was insulting the models. All of this bitching is happening in front of the second model. Heather basically says, you asked for my help and if you don’t want my input I can leave.

Sonja does a talking head saying Heather always has to be the smartest business woman in the room. Well, Sonja, she does a clothing line quite successfully and just the other night I saw her on MSNBC giving business advice to aspiring entrepreneurs.  You on the other hand have a clothing line with no clothes and your foreign team  has no idea who your competition is or what part of the department store you feel your clothes should be in. Bethenny and Heather are speechless. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: London Calling

RHONY Carole

We begin tonight’s episode with Dorinda and Heather checking in to some sort of ginormous penthouse. Wait, that room was just for Carole? It’s like a whole apartment. Where is Dorinda staying? Carole goes by herself to pick up the ashes from the church. Carole is ridiculously nervous and saying silly things to the priest. As she is nervously chattering they show photos from her wedding day.  Her husband had cancer when they married, but they both expected him to beat it. He finally gives her the urn, which is larger than expected. Carole takes it back to the hotel room and lays on her bed and cries.

Later, Dorinda and Carole meet up in Carole’s room. Where is Dorinda staying? In the maid’s quarters?  They have the hotel send up tea and sandwiches and have a chat about their husbands.

The next day the ladies do a bit of shopping and the chat about Luann. Apparently the Countess has reappeared and no one is happy about it. After shopping, Dorinda is having a private cocktail party at an upscale bar. Carole invited some of her old friends from London as well. Dorinda’s friends are all very dignified. Carole’s guy friends were all in black leather. Dorinda’s friends brought up memories of her late husband. The cocktail party was more of a wake.  I’m going to need someone to explain Carole’s ensemble to me.

Continue reading

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WWHL With Melissa Gorga And Luann de Lesseps

WWHL Luann and Melissa

They showed some pictures of Lauren Manzo’s wedding which looked lovely. Melissa was there and said everyone looked amazing.  Andy asked why Caroline wore white to the wedding. Lauren asked her mom to wear white. The other housewives at the wedding were Jaqueline, Kathy and Dina.  Dina was at the church but not at the reception. Who go the drunkest of the housewives. Melissa say she a Rosie drank their fair share. Joe Gorga wore plaid pants.

Andy showed a montage comparing season one Countess with this season’s Luann. Night and day.

Melissa says Tre is doing as well as can be expected. She’s really strong and good at keeping it positive when she is on the phone with the girls. The girls play with her kids a lot. She has requested to visit Tre but she has not been approved yet. She thinks it is a prison redtape issue and not coming from Tre. Andy says she thinks it is Tre and Melissa says something like she was trying to be diplomatic.  Joe has been to see her. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Awfully Charitable

 

Are you sure you are not biased?

Are you sure you are not biased?

For some reason I thought it was Wednesday and I was busy running errands and going to the grocery store and basically wearing myself out. After some chicken wings and blue cheese dressing and a few glasses of sweet tea, I feel revitalized! Just in time to recap tonight’s Real Housewives of New York. The good news is, we’re going to London! The bad news is, it’s another death story. Speaking of death storylines, I TRIED to watch #RHOOC today, after zipping through all the Meghan scenes, the psychic scenes, the cancer arguments, and such I was left with Shannon working out and a bowling alley scene which managed to include a dead mama scene and a cancer treatment argument. No Bueno. Hopefully this will be better.

We start out at Bethenny’s new apartment that is still under construction. It looks fabulous and it isn’t even finished yet. Carole stops by for a scene to rehash the last episode. The fixtures are beautiful, especially the crystal chandelier in Brynn’s room.  I did notice a shortage of windows.  Carole tells Bethenny that Luann made a fool of herself at the bedazzling party after Bethenny left. Bethenny sticks up for Luann and suggests that Carole’s recount may be a bit biased. Bethenny thinks that the naked man was a bit much but that Carole and Heather over reacted. Carole has invited Dorinda to London with her, but is a bit concerned now do to Dorinda’s crazy erupting lately. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap

RHONY Luann Uncool

This recap may be a bit slow in getting done. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve kinda jumped on jumped on the crazy train again. But hey, I had a good bout of sanity there for awhile, and I have no doubt it will return in due time. Nobody panic it will all work itself out, it always does. But if this recap is weirder that usual, that is why.

Enough about my crazy, let’s watch these crazy New York bitches. I’m already a little more sympathetic toward Dorinda who seems to be on her own crazy train.  I, of all people should be a little less judgey when it comes to the crazy ones. Heather continues throwing shade with hashtags. Do people really do that in real life? I mean people older than 13?

Ramona and Heather get into a fight over who gets to “comfort” Dorinda.  Heather literally backs drunk Dorinda into the corner of the bathroom while screaming at Ramona to get the fuck out of the bathroom. Eventually, Heather and Dorinda hug it out. These New York bitches are to be commended on how quickly they make up with each other. It never sticks, but at least they try. Heather and Ramona continue to bicker. Heather and Carole decide to call it a night.  The other ladies stay out.

The next morning, Heather, who sleeps naked, which she is fine with, but she is not as fine with some random dude sleeping naked in Bethenny’s bed. I mean really, who doesn’t like to see a naked man in the morning? Lighten up Heather. Heather and Carole interrogate Dorinda about a the mystery man. They get nowhere with that, so the go to wake up Sonja and Ramona, the two likely suspects who blame the man on Luann. Ramona is dead to the world, so Heather starts scream and opening the curtains yell at Ramona to get up. In her talking head, the apologizer apologizes for “punting it to Luann.”

Next the bitches go to wake up Luann. I swear if I was woken up after a long night of partying by these two banshees, someone would get hurt.  Luann finally gets up and confronts Heather, “What’s the big deal. We brought some guys back here, we had a good time, what’s the big deal?”  Heather was afraid of the naked man. Seriously? She must have been so much fun on spring break. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Conch Blocked

RHONY Bethany

YAY! We are back in the Turks and Caicos. Let’s hope this episode is as good as the last one! We are back where we left off with Ramona being a cunt satchel and deciding she wants everyone to go out for lunch after Bethenny has made lunch at the house for them. So very tacky. Bethenny is rightly pissed. Bethenny’s salad looks amazing. I wish I had someone to make me amazing salads every day.  Ramona somehow has decided that Bethenny is pissed because Ramona stole a dress. Ramona does her apologizer thing and everyone enjoys a lovely lunch.

Ramona is writing a book about how she got to where she is. Um, divorced and unstable? I’d go with that.  Bethenny suggests “Work in Progress.”  Heather says there are probably tons of books with that name. This pisses off Heather and says that Bethenny is a “know-it-all.”  But in this case, Bethenny is correct. Bethenny and Heather argue. Carole says that if you are 58 and your life is still a work in progress, that’s a problem. I disagree. I think we are all works in progress.  This know it all fight is going to go on forever.

Or not. Heather and Bethenny seem to make up by pulling the back of each others bikini bottoms down to bare their asses. Whatever works, girls. BTW, great asses on both of them. This ends in both of them mooning the other girls. Everybody is happy. Time to paddle board.

Heather apologizes to Sonja for participating in the alcoholic storyline. She loves Sonja and she is sorry. Heather promises never to bring it up again. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Sonja Island

RHONY Bethany

Heather’s flat belly is awesome.

Ramona and Bethenny sit down to talk about Sonja’s drinking. Things devolve into a conversation about how lonely they all are and how scary the unknown is. Ramona breaks down over Mario. Bethenny who is not a hugger, is already hugging and crying.  Ramona goes on and on about how Mario is a part of her and she wants to fix him so bad. The both cry and hug some more.  I thought it odd that Bethenny said she related to the feeling of loss Ramona was having. She never seemed to attach to Jason.

Sonja and Dorinda have a loud discussion inside while the other girls are doing yoga. Sonja is reenacting Bethenny screaming at her. Sonja is totally disrupting yoga and the girls all get up from yoga to go hear what Sonja is screaming about.  So much for yoga.

Ramona tells Sonja that Bethenny called her an alcoholic. Ramona just AGREED with Bethenny five minutes ago.  Bethenny walks up the conversation escalates. Bethenny tells Sonja that she gets drunk and tries to screw everybody else’s man. Ramona defends Sonja to Bethenny and backpedals like crazy to avoid any involvement in the Sonja intervention. Luann shows up with breakfast for everyone to eat on the beach.  Ramona takes hers into the house. Leaving Bethenny and Luann getting screamed at by Sonja. Luann takes Bethenny side and says that Sonja tends to “fall asleep” at the end of the night and need to be put to bed. Sonja doesn’t deny this, in fact she says, “so what” and continues screaming at everyone as Heather approaches. Oh Heather, this is an OG problem you need to stay on the porch and sip mimosas, I’m sure you can hear them from there. Continue reading

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WWHL With Sonja Morgan & Luann de Lesseps Singing Live!

WWHL with Luann and Sonja

 

I can’t possibly skip recapping this trainwreck. I have to stay plugged in for another 30 minutes. They had Luann stand up for this photo and I thought for sure it was to so the absurdity of Luann’s skirt length, but I have a feeling it was because they are trying not to show Luann’s twat. Tonight it is Sonja’s turn to be Luann’s “snatch guard.” Who knew that would happen.

Andy brings up Ramona’s rudeness to the help and the yellow bikini. Andy plays a montage of Ramona apologizing. She really does do it a lot. Andy asks the ladies if Ramona got a boob job. The girls won’t answer so that means yes. I rarely even notice women’s boobs unless they are hanging out.

They play a clip of Bethenny’s intervening with Sonja. Andy asked her why she wasn’t listening to Bethenny. Sonja says last year they said she was all over the place with her business and going to lose her house.  Now she has a huge line of luxury blah, blah, blah and she is still in her house. Both of those statements are debatable. Check here for the latest on her house.  She puts just as much weight in their opinions this year.  Sonja denied several times that she has issues with alcohol.

Amy Phillips does a great imitation of Sonja. Luann says she are Carole are “cordial” when they run into each other. Which means they are not speaking. Luann will be singing the song on a float in the NYC gay pride parade on Sunday!  So regal. So classy. Continue reading

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