Category Archives: Countess Luann

Real Housewives of New York Recap: All The Countess’s Men

RHONY season 8

Right now some dudes in California are plundering around in my site because, we’re all moving to California! I am getting off the crappy hosting site that is Blue Host and moving on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky with Page.ly.  Once I get settled in I am going to have to fix the crappy template.  So I am writing this on Google Docs in hopes that I can put it up when I am done. I don’t think we will officially be California residents until probably tomorrow or Friday. I’m quite errrr…hefty to move.

I am thrilled to be back in NYC with the RHONY tonight though. This is my favorite housewives franchise that is currently airing. I can’t wait to see Bethenny set Sonja straight because she needs a good dose of reality.

Dorinda

Dorinda and Jules are shopping in a bizarre home goods store in the city where boobs and pills seem to be the primary thematic choices. There is some sort of gift exchange party where they all had to draw names and buy gifts. I believe it is near Christmas. I thought the Berkshires party was in October around Halloween. Jules missed the entire thing at John’s party because when shit starts to go down, she “protects her facial and runs for the hills.”  Does she wear a retainer her speech is all hissy. Dorinda is done with Ramona. Dorinda is wearing a loud pink dress in her talking head. I think it looks lovely on her. Not a fan of the earrings with that dress though.

Dorinda says “Maybe Ramona wants to sleep with John. Maybe I should just let that happen. And then everyone will be happy. She has like a total hard-on for John. Continue reading

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WWHL With Countess Luann de Lesseps

Luann getting glam for RHONY

Luann getting glam for RHONY

I had a lot of things I would rather be watching than Bravo tonight, and I paused to recap RHONY but this jackass  that was on with Luann was just not worth the interruption in my schedule.  Let me see how this all went down.

Before we even start, Andy and his cockeyed tie introduces the jackass as someone who has been in a “twitter war” with Kenya Moore. Um noe. He’s a misogynist loser who attacks women on Twitter frequently. He’s introduced as a guy with a podcast and a lot of rabid fans. Meanwhile, Kenya is the reason people tune in to Bravo’s most watched series. That said, Andy’s misogyny is so extreme that he is going to continuously call this guy to be on his show to trash his moneymaker. Because, Andy.

Yesterday was Luann’s birthday. Her man apparently threw her a surprise party.  Ramona was invited, but then disinvited because it rained and the party had to be moved inside.  Luann says that since it was a surprise party, she had nothing to do with the invites. She says she thinks that the reason Ramona was cut was because Dorinda and John were going to be there.

Andy makes Luann do a rundown about her current relationship with the other girls. She she’s fine with everyone with a few exceptions. Carole and Luann appear to be in a slightly better place. Luann says things were great with Ramona until she saw the screener for this episode (the real reason she was disinvited from the party) and Bethenny and Luann are “up and down.”  I think Luann really wants to be closer to Bethenny and Bethenny doesn’t really want to go there.

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Airing Your Dirty Laundry

Gif by T.Kyle at http://realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

Maybe last season Dorinda, tonight you are right in the mix. Gif by T.Kyle at http://realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

 

Tonight’s RHONY episode is entitled, Airing Your Dirty Laundry. This means I will probably be peppering the post with Don Henley lyrics, because now the song is stuck in my head. People love it when you lose. They love dirty laundry.

Sonja

Grey Gardens has been so misedited this season. Lunann’s living there, no she’s not, yes she is and now we have the moving in scene where we find out that she will be on the fifth floor. I cannot imagine her walking up and down five flights of stairs all day.  Sonja talks about taking the elevator up. I thought that was one of the first things to go.

Sonja tries to explain THE GREAT TIPSY GIRL INCIDENT OF 2015  to LuAnn. As soon as Sonja mentions Peter, Luann replies ‘You mean Ramona’s Peter?’ in such a way that she seems shocked, as if these three women have not been placing pass the peter for many seasons.  Isn’t her new guy also a recycled peter?  Luann tries to point out that Tipsy Girl is too close to Tipsy Girl.  Sonja pretends she had never thought of this.

Bethenny

Ramona meets Carole and Bethenny to update them on the party because neither of them attended.Of course all of this trademark stuff has hit the press.  But still, Ramona has to explain it to Bethenny even though it is all over Page Six.  Bethenny feels very betrayed. Ramona asks if Sonja knows what she is doing. In unison, Bethenny, Carole and me say, “Yes.”  Bethenny ends the conversation with “Don’t fuck with me.” Ut Oh.

Dorinda

Ramona meets Dorinda for breakfast.  Ramona orders a healthy egg white omelet but the second the food arrives she starts tearing in to Dorinda’s pumpkin waffle. Once again these two agree that they are solid friends and Ramona will stop mocking John.

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Tipsying Point

RHONY season 8

 

It’s time for another episode of RHONY and I am not sure I have slept since the last one.  I am trying to deal with backend problems on the site and I am going to pass out right after this recap. Forgive me if it doesn’t make any sense.

Sonja

We see Sonja getting a placenta facial. The massage person gets a lot of promotional time in exchange for her free services to Sonja. Ramona is having some sort of get together. I swear my brains are mush and I can barely follow this.

Carole

Oh look, we are in the kitchen at Carole’s apartment. It’s like the writers totally forgot the “Carole got rid of her kitchen storyline.  Jules is there and we are definitely going to have to listen to eating disorder conversations. Oh wait, it is even worse than that. It’s  psychic party. Bethenny arrives with Skinnygirl product placement.

The psychic tells Jules she is going to do great things for women’s rights. For some reason I feel like I am going to throw up. Like seriously. Nothing to do with the show. We get the psychic reading and the whole coins and balloons stories.  We have heard all of this before. The psychic says that her dead husband says John is fine for now but he can’t give her the safety she needs.  (update: did throw up, feel better now).  The best part of this scene is Bethenny’s talking heads. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Birthday Bashing

RHONY season 8

 

Bethenny

Bethenny is obsessed with Brynn. It’s cute. She’s pacing up to go on at trip with Brynn? I don’t think she is allowed to film per Jason’s orders.

Okay I am done recapping and this packing scene had absolutely nothing to do with anything at all this episode. I guess they just needed a Bethenny scene and stuck it in as filler. Did I miss something?

Dorinda

Carole and Dorinda out to lunch. Carole starts right in talking about Jules’ house.  And her body. Carole talks about who ate what.  Then she says the energy may have been off because of John. Dorinda did not like that one bit. She has decided to just not bring John around the girls. Good idea.

Jules arrives to lunch and Carole acts like she wasn’t just trash talking her. But we move on to Jules talking about how critical Bethenny was of her home.  Carole of course defends Bethenny. Jules says she is old money and Bethenny is new money. You know Jules, when you start a new job you need to check the lay of the land and find out who is tight with the higher ups. Then you steer clear of them and try not to trash talk them. Jules says she wants to sit down and chat with Bethenny. Oh Jules, I’m not sure you are up to that.

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Carole Radziwill Is Offended. Chronically Offended.

RHONY Carole

 

“Move on,” says the woman who still calls herself a Countess more than a half-decade after her marriage ended. If she was going for comedy, I’d laugh. Really, I would. We’d all laugh, but she isn’t.

Wow, someone is really fixated on the Countess thing. What difference does it make to you if she calls herself the Queen of England?

“Moving on” is a concept invented by Housewives. Housewives who behave so appallingly all they can do is say they are moving on, preferably in a place where everyone can hear them.

Really? You think the housewives invented moving on? The large majority of people in therapy are there because they can’t move on. The loss of a loved one,  childhood trauma, divorce, losing out on a big promotion, getting fired, whatever the issue is, the goal of therapy is to put a period to mark the end and move on.

To stay put and acknowledge that their actions have consequences and to accept responsibility is simply too painful for this particular brand of narcissist. And not only do they say they’ve moved on, they actually brag about it. They are proud of their ability to move on. “Look how evolved I am,” they seem to be saying, “I can simply move on without regrets.”

They should be proud. The ability to move on is a valuable life skill.
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