Category Archives: Countess Luann

Real Housewives of New York Recap: Family Matters

RHONY cast

Argh I was busy chatting in email with a couple of people. And did not have time to set up this post so I will be a little late in posting, probably. Apparently, it is still Ramona’s birthday. Still. I guess she wanted presents from people who were not in Atlantic City.  She has a Turtle Time cake. And THANK GOD FOR BETHENNY for squashing the stupid trend of call women MAMA. I HATE THAT. I am no anybody’s Mama. It’s ridiculous and must be stopped.  Bethenny hates the upper east side luncheon birthday party. I can totally appreciate that. Carole and Bethenny discuss Sonja’s psychopharmacologist.  Which is a head shrinker that writes scripts.  Much like most psychiatrists. The are actual doctors who treat mental disorders with medications. Not vitamins.  Meanwhile, Sonja is talking about meditation and abundance candles with some whackadoo.

I do not want to think about Dorinda swinging.

Bethenny is hysterical tonight. Sonja is talking about her swami priestess whackadoo.  It’s hysterical. Bethenny moves on to play therapist with Ramona. Then in the next scene Bethenny goes to therapy with her TV doctor. I really wish Bethenny could reconcile with Jason. But that  is never going to happen and Bethenny feels betrayed  Side note: I saw a video recently of Bethenny and Jason trying to co-parent on Bryn’s fourth birthday. I could not find it on Youtube. But Bryn was having a major meltdown when Jason had to pass her off to Bethenny and was screaming I want to stay with Daddy! Over and over as paparazzi filmed. It must be heartbreaking. There were dozens of paps there. Bethenny is concerned about trusting her judgment. She has recently broken up with (in real time) with her rebound relationship and is already seeing someone else. Bethenny is wanting to meet up with her stepfather John, because she wants Bryn to have some family on here side.  Also, I have to break up with my therapist this week. I really can’t afford her anymore with my unaffordable Obama care. Plus, I think I’ve heard all of her things multiple times, it’s getting repetitive at this point. Clearly, I don’t listen. And I have you guys to tell my troubles too. I’m pretty much an open book. More advice is not going to help. I have to do some work on myself. Plus, I will see here again here and there. I’m too poor to be crazy. Continue reading

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Luann de Lesseps Continues To Throw Shade at Carole Raziwill on WWHL

WWWL Luann

 

This week seems to have flown by and there are so many things sitting around in my inbox for me to remember to post about. One is this episode of WWHL with the Countess. Luann looks FANTASTIC in a plum colored dress. Her hair and a makeup are flawless. No statement necklace, but some flashy earrings. She’s very well put together. The photo above does not begin to do her justice.

Luann says Sonja loves her and she loves Sonja. Andy  brings up Luann’s tweets about Carole.  Luann posted that Adam and the niece were still together and planning a trip together when Carole started screwing him. Luanne backpedals and basically says that Adam attended the niece’s birthday celebration in September.  Carole’s position is that the niece and Adam broke up a year ago and still remain friends.  Andy reads another tweet where Henry or whoever her ghost tweeter is says that Carole is a “basic newcomer” among other things. Andy points out that the use of the word “basic” in the  hipster sort of way does sound like Luann. Luann ignores the subtle accusation and says she was on a rage that night because Carole has caused so much friction for her and her family because the niece is so upset. Luann says she went a bit overboard and really just wants to move on.  I bet she does and Lord knows her niece wishes she had just shut up about it rather than lying and saying that the niece was all upset over it. Even if she is, Luann is putting her nieces heartbreak on a fucking reality TV show. Not classy or cool, Luann. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Mind Your Own Business

I have already lost interest in this season. Bethenny is such a shrew.  Dorinda is vile. Carole is reliving her adolescence. I’m having a hard time finding someone to like this season. I will say I hated Ramona and Sonja together but can tolerate them much better separately. Maybe Sonja will be my girl this season. Basically, Bethenny sums it up above. None of this is interesting to me.

Bethenny and Sonja meet for lunch.  I’m not sure why. Bethenny is apparently assessing Sonja’s mental health. Sonja is not passing. Sonja is giving her delusional spiel about her “businesses.”  The two discuss being divorced and having the need to get pounded and shitfaced. Sonja says she doesn’t swallow unless they have a black card. My personal advice is don’t swallow once they are on medication. Because I read that somewhere in a book. Allegedly.

Dorinda

Luann and Dorinda go for a pedicure. Dorinda is so vile with her man I have no interest in her at all anymore. Luann told Dorinda about John being out in the clubs without her. Dorinda says that Bethenny is harsh. She should know.  Dorinda is having a party and Bethenny is not coming because it’s not a Skinny Girl event. Hannah is annoying too. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: The Art of Being a Cougar

RHONY cast

 

It’s time for the Real Housewives of New York again. I feel like the last episode was yesterday. Time flies.  I’d suggest drinking every time Bethenny cries if you don’t have plans tomorrow but unfortunately for me I must venture into THE WORLD tomorrow for a bit and need to be clear headed.

Carole

We open with a scene with Carole and Heather on the highline. I had plans to go walk that highline last summer but they did not pan out due to a variety of things, aka a clusterfuck of issues. I am dying to see it as I don’t think it was there last time I was in NYC.  My yankee NYC friends act like it is overrated but it looks amazing.  Heather is having a dinner. Those always go so well.  Carole is fucking the boy chef from Luann’s Hamptons house.  Carole says that she went to a club with him and ate a random gummy bear, started tripping and they had to leave. Carole puked all over both of them on the pedicab home. Carole seems proud of this. The kid is 29. Carole says that she has not told Luann because he used to date Luann’s niece. #Cougar

Carole goes on a ping pong date with her boytoy. Carole is clearly trying to relive her high school years. Dude is not even that cute.

Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Battle of the Brunches

RHONY cast

The ladies are all still in the Hamptons and have been invited to dueling brunches. Ramona is having one and so is Bethenny.  It’s the battle of the OG housewives of New York.  Ramona says she is holding a brunch in honor of her friend Dorinda.  Everyone decides to try to do both. But Carole wants to skip them both and go for a boat ride with the hot young personal chef of Ramona’s.

Luann shares that Ramona borrowed an Herve Leger dress from Bethenny and never returned it. This is part of Bethenny’s problem with Ramona. This is apparently not the first time Ramona has absconded with a dress. Carole says, “That got she would never fit into one of mine!” That is both some cunty shade and ridiculous. If Ramona can fit in Bethenny’s dress she could surely fit into Carole’s dress.  Are Carole and Bethenny both aboard the anorexia train?  The ladies mock Carole’s toe hair.

The ladies begin at Bethenny’s house. Bethenny’s  house is AMAZING! Especially for a homeless person. Carole points out she has been to Oscar gifting suites with less product than she saw in Bethenny’s house. It is Skinnygirl everything on display everywhere.  One of the issues the girls had with Bethenny this season was being forced to go to a shit ton of promotional events for Bethenny and she was never there for their events.  Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Recap

RHONY cast

There is so much to recap tonight so I am not going to go into excruciating detail because I am already behind and I know y’all like these recaps up as soon as possible. I think we should drink every time Bethenny whines about her life or cries. Cheers!

Bethenny

It’s raining and NYC and Bethenny is whining about it. DRINK! Bethenny is whining about her living situation. DRINK! Bethenny is whining about being tired. DRINK!

Carole and Heather

Carole and Heather ride together to the Hamptons.  Carole says she has become good friends with Luann. The girls talk about Ramona’s divorce and how well she is doing. Heather is still not thrilled with Sonja. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Premiere Recap: Eight Is More Than Enough

RHONY cast

Bethenny

We begin with Bethenny arriving at The Essex House for a free room in exchange for promotion. She has her dog Cookie, and her new assistant Leslie in tow. She will be staying in the Presidential Suite, because she is worth hundreds of millions of dollars, allegedly.  Bethenny explains that Jason is still living in her old apartment.  That does seem kind of shitty for Jason to do as Bethenny designed every inch of the apartment. But it is what it is. So Bethenny is staying in hotels. I thought she was renting another apartment. Why isn’t she there? Oh she is renovating the other apartment.

Bethenny talks about her failed talk show and how unhappy she was as a talk show host. Essentially, she expected to be in control of the show, and she was not the ultimate decision maker and she couldn’t take that. I hope in her therapy they are discussing the commonalities between this experience and her marriage.

Kristen

We check in with Kristen and her family which she says is getting better. From where I am sitting. It still looks pretty hectic.

Kristen, Luann, Heather and Carole get together for drinks. Heather awkwardly kisses Luann on the lips when she greets her. Awkward. Carole openly admits she is on a diet that involves nothing but vodka, cucumbers and butter.  Good for her. Luann is having all the girls to her new house in the Hamptons. She is apparently downsizing. Luann and Sonja are still not on good terms, but she invited her anyway. Sonja as apparently been drinking too much and making a spectacle of herself in public.  Which  is way worse than drinking too much and making a spectacle of yourself on the Internet. Am I right? Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York on Today Show

RHONY on Today

This morning on the Kathy Lee and Hoda part of TodayBethenny Frankel, Carole Radziwill, Ramona Singer and Luann De Lesseps  did some press for the Real Housewives of New York season premiere.

First let’s talk about their choices in outfits. Bethenny and Ramona both went with a little black dress. I think they both looked appropriate for the situation. Carole looks like a college sophomore doing the walk of shame in the leather pants and t-shirt she wore out to the bar the night before.  Luann?  Well she does seem “Eastery”  to say the least. I’m not fond of women of a certain age in shirts that tie at the waist no matter how in shape they are. I am not saying they all need to call each other and try to coordinate like a girl band. I’m just saying that there should be some standard of dress for a television appearance where it seems they are all dressing for the same event. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Season 7 Trailer

So um this came out like the day after my big spiel about how we are too smart to keep watching this shit.  And it looked pretty good.  But it is a lot of crying over men and bitch fights. And sleeping with strange men on a trip to Turks and Cacaos (that part looks fun). So um, we have to watch because Bethenny is back. Right? Strictly for research purposes. Not because we are addicted to this shit. Continue reading

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Bethenny Frankel on The View: Having a Relationship on TV Was A Little Bit Gnarly

The VIew

We’ve been talking about Bethenny Frankel returning to RHONY, and we all have our opinions. Not nearly as many as we have about Jason Hoppy (y’all are a bunch of assholes, btw) which we argue about here. Today, Bethenny appeared on The View. Let that sit with you for a minute. You wanted your own talk show, you got one, and it didn’t work out. Now you find yourself going on a talk show with a track record of a million years to pimp your brand again. Bethenny has never seemed particularly happy except in the first few weeks of her talk show, and I imagine this is an emotional nadir for her.

While we wait for Bethenny, I’d like to point out a couple of things. I happened to watch The View yesterday. I’ve been trying to remember to watch to see what this new incarnation of the show is like and yesterday they had a Elizabeth Warren, a far left democrat who many in her party want to see fight Hillary Clinton for the democratic nomination in 2016 on.  Warren is very outspoken and has a huge following and very pro-women’s rights and such. It’s great that The View had her on. However, she was there to campaign for three female democratic candidates, one in New Hampshire, one in Kentucky and one in Georgia.  Here, in Georgia we have very tight races across the board coming up. I don’t affiliate with either party. Currently, I am leaning toward the democratic challenger for governor and the republican candidate for Senate, but I’m not completely sold on anyone. The candidate she advocated based on her ads that are all over my TV are all basically saying various versions of “Vote For Me I Have a Vagina! David Perdue Hates Vaginas!” So I was curious what this esteemed politician would say about her platform.  So she talked about the woman from Kentucky. I believe her platform is minimum wage laws. And said something about the NH woman. And I waited patiently for a reason to vote for Michelle Nunn and the woman said David Perdue owned companies that outsourced labor to China. Um, okay. Most companies do that. I wish they didn’t. But what about Michelle Nunn can you tell me anything about her?  Warren basically said she was a fine woman. So today the new version of Elisabeth Hasselbeck was allowed to mention the opposing candidates. Which I think you legally have to do. So that was good. Continue reading

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Bethenny Frankel Rumors…?

bethenny and RamonaAndy Cohen is busting his buttons over his kitchen table talk deal with Bethenney Frankel this past summer. Clearly, he made it worth her while to come back and try to save the half-dead RHONY.  But RHONY has been filming for awhile and there have been no sightings of her filming.

What’s the problem?

Apparently, it’s Jason Hoppy. I’m hearing the real reason that Andy and Bethenny cooked up this little deal and kept it a secret was Bethenny’s divorce. It seems that 50/50 custody has finally been agreed to. we were in the homestretch and everyone was moving forward. Things are more amicable. Continue reading

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Jill Zarin and Luann de Lesseps Try Out for US Open?

Jill Zarin

 

Apparently, both Jill Zarin and Luann de Lesseps consider themselves world-class tennis players. They each both played in mixed doubles in the 2014 US Open National Playoffs USTA Eastern Sectional Qualifying Tournament last week. They were not partners. They both lost their game, because um, it’s the US OPEN??

But I really don’t care about any of that. Jill Zarin is unrecognizable. Has she had a ton of work done?

I haven’t even though about Jill Zarin in ages, and if I had run into her on the streets of NYC, I would not have recognized her. Go here for picture of Jill and LuAnn at the event. Warning LuAnn is not wearing any makeup.

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