Category Archives: Melissa Gorga

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: There Will Be Bloodwork

RHONJ S6 CastI’m not sure I can handle Jacqueline exploiting her kid and Amber’s cancer storyline ramping up all in one episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. UGH.

We start with the Giudice family waking up in the house that fraud built. Teresa is trying to keep things as normal as possible right up until she and Joe head off for college. Am I the only one that forgets that Gabriella even exists?  Teresa drives the kids to school in her PJs. Gia tells her mom she is proud of her for being strong throughout her trial.

I literally forgot I was supposed to be blogging during this scene with Dina. So boring.

Joe Gorga doesn’t seem to be having the easiest time dealing with his sister going to the big house.

Rino’s scene where he discusses his enlarged prostate and upcoming colonoscopy was made even more disturbing when he donned a pair of underpants with a cock sock which he twirled on national television.

Is this episode over yet? Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Gia Giudice, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Guilt Trip

RHONJ S6 CastFebruary 28th, Four Days Before the Plea Deal

Of course we begin with a scene with Teresa, mother of the year, cooking with her adorable kids while wearing an apron that says please don’t send the mother of these adorable children off to college!  Well, minus the apron part. Even Audrina is in on the act this time and she is like the invisible sister. Poor think is tasked with chopping onions and her eyes are all teary. Gia on the other hand looks to be on the verge of real tears and or a nervous breakdown sitting quietly at the kitchen table. Milania takes a bite of onion and acts like she is eating a jalapeno.  She’s a drama queen that one.

March 4, 2014 (and before and after according to me)

The plea deal happens. Joe watches what appears to be a new show with some random actress voicing over the program. Or the news people in New Jersey report hard news in the same voice as “news” about what Kim Kardashian had for breakfast. Amber learns about it on her cell phone via ROL. I’m telling you they are some strange bedfellows, Bravo and ROL. will be shown on an upcoming episode of Couples Therapy and I know a bit about how production and the websites work together or against each other. Amber cries while talking to Teresa. Teresa takes the call on speaker in front of Gia, age 13, who immediately laughs at Amber and her crying. I am waiting for her  to say this is almost as bad as that time I had cancer. Gia is laughing at her. Teresa says in her talking head maybe Amber was on her period OR THINKING BACK TO HER CANCER.  You can’t make this shit up. Continue reading


Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

The Upcoming RHONJ Atlantic City Trip Was Scandalous !

RHONJ Amber and Melissa

Back in December I started hearing rumors about the RHONJ filming in an Atlantic City casino. I made my predictions for how things would go this season back in February, and so far everything seems to be going as I expected. The Atlantic City trip, and now it seems the Florida trip, were over the top with drama. Amber came back from the Atlantic City trip and posted on her Facebook that everyone made her cry.  The twins were ready to be done with the show. Continue reading


Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Joe Gorga Wins Right to Evict Kai Patterson From Montville Home

WWHL with Melissa and Joe Gorga

Despite the fact that Kai Patterson just commented in the comments of this post, “I am very happy with the outcome of the case. I no longer have to make any payments towards the purchase of the property. The only way I will make those payments, is if Mr. Gorga makes the repairs to my satisfactory (sic).”  The reality is that Patterson lost his case and has moved one step closer to the end of a lengthy eviction process.

Today a judge in Morristown will issue a judgment of possession to Joe Gorga which will allow him to officially evict Patterson in the upcoming days. This judge ruled strictly under leasing laws. Joe will have to return to court to sue for moneys owed with regard to the sale. However, since Joe no longer wants to go through with the sale after losing confidence in Patterson’s ability to pay, I imagine he will just evict the tenant and move into the house himself. Continue reading


Filed under Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Joe Gorga and His Tenant Kai Patterson Duked it Out in Court Tuesday


Kai Patterson continued to fight an eviction proceeding Tuesday which would toss him out of Joe Gorga’s Montville home. Despite Patterson’s claims that the home is infested with beavers, he seems to intend on squatting despite multiple complaints about habitability of the home.  Because, $20,000 a month for a home with beavers in the walls and plumbing issues in East Egypt, New Jersey is a great deal! And one dude living with an elderly (step?) father really need a shit ton of square footage and a motorcourt.

If you have been following the story, Joe and Kai have been going at each other in court and Kai has sent numerous emails documenting all of the issues. It’s been pretty hysterical. The court proceeding have been confounded by the lease to purchase aspect of the potential sale. It seems the judge can’t decide to try the case under lease law or property sale law. But on Tuesday, we seem to be back to square one and focused on law regarding tenant/landlord law. Continue reading


Filed under Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Roses Are Red, Dina is Blue

RHONJ S6 CastWith little to no explanation, Amber arrives at Melissa’s house with chicken soup of assorted food. Lots of hugs. Melissa’s aunt has died and Joe is very busy with work so she is struggling.  Amber was very sweet. She did have to point out that she had cancer just like Melissa’s mom. How long will this détente last?

Nicole and her mom talk about how they are going out to Vino’s restaurant with the family for Valentines Day. Nicole points out she has been with Bobby for a year. Nicole’s mother points out that he can go long stretches without seeing her. She fears that Bobby may be a confirmed bachelor. Nicole is ready to get married. it seems Bobby is not.

Next we are to believe that Joe took all the girls out for a date night while Teresa stays home and signs books. Melissia came over and they opened some Fabelini  made a fire and watched The Godfather. Teresa explains that it is her favorite movie and holds a lot of life lessons. I assume the main one would be that as long as you don’t get killed, crime pays very well.  Melissa and Teresa seem to have truly made up this time. Maybe. Continue reading


Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Fambily Business

RHONJ Amber open mouth


Well this has certainly been a long dramatic week. So much turmoil in the world, in the US, and on the Internet. Let’s hope that this episode of RHONJ will be a little big less emotional. Can I just throw this out there about Amber’s hair before we get started? If she had chemo and lost all of her hair five years ago, there is no way that is her actual hair. Yet, for some reason she keeps insisting that it is. Wouldn’t it play into her cancer victim routine much better to just admit she has five pounds of extensions on her head? Does she really think she is fooling anyone?

Joe and Melissa go to the high-end car dealership because, promotional deal.  The storyline is even stupider than usual. They want to have the garbage truck custom painted. The garbage truck. It’s not pretty enough. The garbage truck. Seriously? Just when I am already pissed off by Melissa’s ridiculous environmental speech the high-end dealership that customizes GARBAGE TRUCKS points out that Melissa drives a Bentley which is hardly good for the environment and gets eight miles a gallon.  Did I mention the storyline is the Bentley dealer is going to paint their GARBAGE truck, because I can’t seem to stress the stupidity of this enough.  In fact we may have actually reached the nadir of stupidity. This scene may go down in history of the very moment the Real Housewives franchise jumped the shark forever. Right here. In this moment. Continue reading


Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

RHONJ Blog Round-up: Does Amber Deserve a Second Chance?

Why Did I Not Post About Last Night's RHONJ? Let Me Count the Reasons...

All of the RHONJ blogs are up except for Amber’s and Nicole’s and theirs will probably warrant their own blog. Most everyone agrees that Jim is an idiot but a few of the RHONJ are trying to give Amber the benefit of the doubt. For me the strangest blog is Dina’s. I’m going to need lots of feedback that. In fact I may need an entire interpretation. I can’t be sure about who she is talking about.

From Teresa’s Blog:

I did feel sorry for Amber because she was just in a physical fight and what her husband was saying wasn’t her fault. But I wanted to hear the rumors about what Jim said directly from him. So I asked him. And he lied. Right to my face. That is not what an honorable man does. Dina and I were giving him the benefit of a doubt, trying to be nice to him, and he got even madder and uglier with us. You don’t need to speak to women like that, you don’t need to speak to anyone like that.

Then we got to hear Jim’s little lawyer speech. There are no words. What professional talks like that? I know Amber tries to defend him saying he was protecting her and got dragged into all this, but that amazingness was all said in an interview with him, apart from the fight. No one tricked or forced him into saying those awful things. That was all him.

As I said though, I don’t blame Amber for her husband. Amber has always been very nice and gracious to me. I try and see people for who they are, not who they’re married to. Although her taste in facials does leave a lot to be desired! Bird poop, are you freaking kidding me? 

Continue reading


Filed under Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

RHONJ Recap: Chicken Shits and Nightingale Droppings

I have bird shit on my stupid face.

I have bird shit on my stupid face.


We’ll we are back to the shit stirring house husbands of New Jersey. Jim has announced that he has passed the bar (hmm I wonder what state that was in, I can’t seem to find any record of it) but that the is not an attorney.  Then in the next breath he is screaming in Joe Gorga’s ear that he “prosecutes bank fraud cases” and “works for the same Attorney General’s office that is prosecuting Juicy Joe.”  Um, hey there Mr. I Passed the Bar.  Federal fraud cases are prosecuted by an AUSA .  Sidenote: Jim’s second twitter account in as many days was suspended again just minutes ago. What the hell is he doing to get suspended?  Is threatening to sue the entire Internet a banable offense on Twitter?  Pity if true because it was really funny. He was also suing Bobby for breach of contract for some nonsense that seemed to be Bravo related. He is also ranting against Bravo who I am assuming is who really is having his accounts suspended. This guy is a joke.

Currently, he has Joe Gorga up in his face outside of Bobby’s house. Let’s watch how this turns out for him. He’s already threatening to call the cops. I’m sure he will be threatening to sue him any second. Oh and on his first twitter account, Good Ole Christian Jim said suing people was like sport fucking to him.  Do they not run psych tests on any of these people? Continue reading


Filed under Amber Marchese, Gia Giudice, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Beaver Update!


It seems like every week there is someone from the Real Housewives of New Jersey in court. This week, it was Joe and Melissa back again trying to evict Kai Patterson from their Montville home. purchase agreement. In accordance with a previous ruling, it  was expected that Patterson would finally be forced to leave the home where he currently lives with his (step?) father; however, the judge declined to evict him.

Superior Court Judge Stephen Taylor vacated the  previous ruling that found Patterson in default on the lease because the motion was not heard in open court as New Jersey law requires when an option to buy a leased property is involved. Because Gorga tried to file the eviction pro se, he was unaware of the applicable law. That makes sense except for the fact that a judge, if not this judge ruled to evict and one would think the judge would be versed in the law. Apparently, the option to buy makes the applicable laws those concerning the sale of property rather than those governing  rental property laws. Continue reading


Filed under Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Real Housewives of New Jersey Blog Roundup: It’s All About Amber and Jim.

RHONJ Amber and Melissa

I started this blog by reading Dina’s blog. It’s literally a philosophical discussion on “intention.” It reads as an advice column or perhaps a morning meditation. It’s weird and irrelevant. Everyone’s blog is about Amber and/or Jim. Before I even read the rest of them, I should point out that Amber had some sort of meltdown on Twitter, or perhaps it was Jim because at on point Amber actually claimed that Jim took over tweeting on her account. There was an altercation with Bobby where whoever was using the account said,” u r a sick bastard Bobby. ur day will come.” and “keep trying to be famous Bobby. we d/n want to upset daddy.” and other jewels. Don’t you love when media whores, point fingers at other media whores claiming the want camera time? That is exactly what they all want and why they are on the show.  Amber keeps referring us to her blog on twitter, but so far Bravo hasn’t posted it. I get the feeling it will need its own post anyway. So when it’s up, I’ll get on it as soon as I have time.

Melissa’s Blog:

As you saw in the episode, the Marcheses continue to contradict themselves. They seem to REALLY want to be liked by the Giudices and at the same time find ways to let us all know that they are too good for them. I’m confused, which is it? I also think Jim talks a big game and wants to portray a certain type of image that I would hope isn’t who he truly is, because no one can be that judgmental.

What I do know it that it’s not cool for a grown man to walk up to another man and call him a dumb ass in his ear in a very nasty way. Joe was sitting down and not in Jim’s face at all. Jim went too far. Joe just was defending his family, and for Jim to get in his face like that? I mean come on! He’s asking for a reaction, begging for it.

Continue reading


Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Watch What Happens Live With Melissa and Joe Gorga

WWHL with Melissa and Joe GorgaOn tonight’s WWHL, we have a rare event with a husband in a guest chair! It seems to be a trend on RHONJ this season for the husbands to get a lot of air time. I sort of like it.

Andy asked Melissa who was at fault regarding the brawl. It was a 30 seconds on the clock sort of thing and Melissa didn’t want to do it. She said that Amber came in very strong , but Nicole was the first to pull hair and Melissa doesn’t think anyone should put their hands on anyone. Andy seemed pissed by her milquetoast  response.

OMG they just showed a talking head of Jim from next week where he says he is trained as an attorney, if you mess with him he is going to sue you, he is going to leverage your house, he is going to drag you through three years of litigation, he is going to bleed you dry, he is going to humiliate you as I depose you for eight hours and make you my bitch. All of this in a tie, sweater vest and spectacles. It was one of the most hysterical things I have ever seen.

Melissa says she chose not to give the RHONJ any music this season. Andy seemed taken aback. Melissa says sometimes you show when I hit he note and sometimes he doesn’t. Also she has been working on her jewelry line. And also there are currently a bunch of beavers using her recoding studio as their personal nesting space. Allegedly. Continue reading


Filed under Andy Cohen, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL