Category Archives: Melissa Gorga

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Judgment Day

Twitter: John Bathke

Twitter: John Bathke

And just like that, RHONJ comes to an abrupt stop after only 12 episodes. This of course means that everyone gets about half the check for a normal season. What remains to be seen is whether or not Teresa and Joe will film a few more post sentencing episodes to scrap together a few more bucks. I suppose time will tell.

We start the show at the courthouse. I really think that is cool looking court house. Love the blind justice statue. Paul Fishman announces that Joe Giudice received 41 months and Teresa got 15.

Then we flash back to six months earlier. Teresa and Melissa are hanging out at her house with all the kids. The kids are bouncing off the walls. Teresa is stressed.

Meanwhile, Dina and the twins are at “Abbey’s House” where the Project Ladybug event will be taking place. It’s ginormous. Is that an actual residence or an event hall? There are giant dogs there that make it seem like maybe Abbey lives there. Oh, it is her home and Dina is worried about the hoodlums coming. Victoria is NOT invited. Teressa is still expecting an apology from Teresa. She makes snide comments about the Giudice family falling apart.

You know what would be great? Another segment about Amber’s cancer. I can’t wait or recap this shit. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: #SorryNotSorry

rhonj kathy and jac

We are starting with a fake scene filmed in June. This time Kathy and Jacqueline will not be eating salad, or lunch, no dear readers, this time we get to watch them eat…..wait for it….Kathy’s cannoli! Because watching Jac, who did not film the entire season eat random food items is still more interesting than the new cast members. Let’s watch. Because sadly there is not enough for me to fast forward through. I think that must be why they are starting off with it. Bastards. Richard’s crude sex talk is also considered more interesting than the new cast.

Melissa and Amber are at a bar together. Melissa tries to explain why production has paired these two for this scripted dialogue by pointing out in her talking head that she does not hold Amber responsible for “douche Jim.”  I think Jim may have been called a douchebag more than Juan Pablo from The Bachelor at this point. Is there a trophy he should try to retrieve? Melissa wants us all to see the Chanel bag that she is carrying. She props it on the bar and turns the sparkly logo toward the camera. Here’s the thing. Chanel is not seeking promotional fees from a real housewives show. So, this is either a fake (most likely) or it will be used as evidence in an upcoming bankruptcy filing. I am not into the whole handbag thing so I can’t make that assessment.  Anyway, I think I would rather go back to Richard Wakile making cannoli jokes. I am starting to agree with production. There is really nothing about this scene to move the scripted plot forward. Melissa and Amber are fake storyline friends again.

Nicole arrives at the cannoli joke fest with Bobby in tow. He will fit in great with Richard and Chris. Nicole’s talking head is about Bobby treated her badly in Boca Raton. And here we go with the autism crap. Jac feels the need to tell a woman that she has known for five minutes about her kid’s milestones and that “autism is a spectrum.” I was proud that Jac pronounced her words correctly. Oh, and she wants Nicole to know she has had five miscarriages. You know, the normal conversations that two women have within two seconds of meeting each other. Nicole counters with the whole, “Oh by the way, people say my twin sister’s husband fucked out mother but that’s totally not true.”  Then the group of women decide to call Victoria Gotti, “vagina” as any group of grown women would do.  Jac wonders if she is going to get murdered. Sadly, I doubt it.  Rich calls Teresa Giudice “Felonini.”  Kathy and Jac and Rosie all gang up on Teresa Giudice and tell Nicole not trust her because she is a horrible person. Perhaps she is, but they just made themselves look equally bad. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Jim, Please Pack Your Knives and Go

RHONJ Amber florida

It’s time to tune in to RHONJ and find out how long Jim Marchese lasts in Florida before (hopefully) being thrown out in his pointy little head.

We’re back in Florida and everyone is drunk. Bobby confronts Jim over the rumor he is putting out that Bobby has another girlfriend. Jim says he say pictures of her in red lingerie. Bobby storms off again ranting that Jim is a lying sack of shit. He needs to stay with his woman or bring her up to their room with him. No man should leave their spouse around Jim Marchese. Amber is drunk and smoking and crying. Amber is having a full on drunken meltdown because Jim ruined everything. Teressssa says that Jim is a classic example of Napoleon complex.  The truth hurts so he starts attacking Rino saying the he tried to fuck Victoria Gotti, he slept with some rusty stripper… Teressa says,”Do you really think he fucked a stripper?” Jim says, “No, but I think he fucked your mom!” Awkward silence. Mouths drop. Joe Gorga tells Jim to go to bed. He minds him and giggles his way up the stairs.  Amber goes up after him and Jim starts mistranslating a latin quote to explain his behavior that quote is historically tied to….wait for it…..wait for it….Napoleon Bonaparte. You can’t make this shit up.

Joe and Teresa are going to NYC to have an overnight date night. Teresa threatens Milania with boarding school. She should follow through on that it would be great for Milania. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Teresa and Joe Interviewed for WWHL and Will Appear on Reunion Filming Sunday

WWHL Tre and Joe

Oh Bravo, You Never Fail to Disappoint.

Our favorite misogynist, Andy Cohen will deign to venture to New Jersey tomorrow to film the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion. It is one of the most stressful days in the life of a RHO of Anywhere, so why not film it 72 hours after Teresa gets sentenced to a 15 months  in the penitentiary?

I love the above picture. Andy is practicing his “concerned” face.  Teresa is practicing he serious face. And Juicy is all laid back and just happy to be there.

But that is not all just over 24 hours after Teresa and Joe were sentenced to 15 and 41 months respectively in the pokey, Andrew had them in the clubhouse to interview them for Watch What Happens Live on Monday night. On his twitter he mentioned he interviewed them for several hours. It is hard to tell whether we will get an hour show or just a half hour based on the current setting on my cable guide. You would think this would get at least a full hour. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap Gators and Pussy Boys

RHONJ S6 CastLast week’s RHONJ episode was one of my favorites. I loved the girls in Florida. Everything was light up until the last few minutes. Today? The shit hits the fan.

The girls go to the alligator farm and Dina falls in love with a tailless alligator because she is obsessed with defective animals. The girls race in swamp boats and go looking at gators. The girls seem to be having a blast. But I’m a died in the wool gator hater and I don’t like gators of any species.

Time for another PR shot of future prisoner 983-0939 spending quality mother time with her daughter, Audriana  who is of course coloring pictures of mommy and Daddy. Juicy shows up to let us know that Chris Laurita wants to make up with Juicy over a bottle of wine. Teresa reads a text from Jacqueline and cries in her talking heads. Teresa is still skeptical about getting together with Jacqueline. She’s not over all the trash that Jac talked about Joe at the reunion. Joe helps Tre with her coloring. Seriously.

I am fast forwarding through the exploitation of Nicholas. Sorry.

Wait, is that Kevin Jonas who is the builder for the Wakile house? WTF? I think he actually does have a construction business but I didn’t think he was so hands on. I think Kevin built his huge home he lives in. Rosie arrives and explains that she is done with her fake Bravo girlfriend.  That chick or someone pretending to be her was shopping around a story about how she was roped in to pretending to be Rosie’s girlfriend. I’m not really interested enough to care. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Jacqueline Laurita, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Court Status Updates for Bravo Personalities

What was wrong with peach?

This is Phaedra’s house.

It’s time for a round-up of several cases involving Bravo personalities… We may even have a few more charges coming for some new ones! Um Yay?  This is really starting to bore me actually.

From Atlanta:

Yes, there was a trial date set for last week in Phaedra’s case against Angela Stanton.  And no it didn’t happen. As much as you and I would love for there to be a trial, that was never Phaedra’s intention. This is the second time a date has been set and the second time a flurry of motions have been exchanged by the attorneys on both sides.  Eventually, Phaedra will get tired of this game and a settlement will be reached. I have a feeling Phaedra will not like the settlement.

In other Phaedra news, she is busy whitewashing things. Literally. Phaedra’s peach house was completely repainted white (with gray trim) last week. She’s still working on getting the new gate installed. That project seems to have stalled. A white stucco(ish) house is not really a grand idea in Georgia. You may have heard of our red Georgia clay. It manages to find its way onto all sorts of things. Besides, I really liked the peach color.

Anyway, Phaedra is off on a two state book tour. Because, apparently, casual followers of the show still buy in to the whole “southern belle” routine. Her fans were never very bright to start with…

Continue reading

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Filed under Bravo, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Phaedra Parks, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHOA, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Time For the Fake Jacqueline Scenes

RHONJ S6 CastIf you recall, when reports of Jacqueline Laurita returning to RHONJ came out, I told you guys it absolutely didn’t happen on August 8th.  My source explained that filming had long been completed and the stories were false.  Then a month later, there she was on the Bravo Site previews and I was gob smacked as was my source. I was then informed that in post production it was decided that the new people were bombing and unlikable so they needed for find someone to bring back. Okay, I can see that, but Jacqueline? Do they really think she is a fan favorite? I guess Caroline turned them down. Anyway, Jac had come back to film a week or two before I reached out to my source, in July pretending it was winter time. I’m guessing we won’t see any outdoor scenes tonight. This is one of the more ridiculous things that Bravo has done.

Sidenote: It looks like the reunion will be filming at the end of the week, on Friday if I recall correctly. That’s less than a week before Teresa’s sentencing. Look for her to be heavily sedated.

On with the show…

The girls are all head off to Boca Raton. How is that just a two-hour flight? Why am I not going there? The ladies are flying down by themselves and have all the usual luggage struggles. I guess that Teresa and Joe were not allowed to leave the state. The ladies are glad that Amber isn’t coming. The ladies arrive at a beautiful home to relax and bask in the sun.

Cut to New Jersey where it is snowy and dreary. We are shown a house with a for sale sign advertising a property with a pool and a spa. Teresa and Gia are looking for a place to move. Teresa says she is no longer skeeved by looking at other people’s houses. She is not materialistic anymore, y’all. Her priorities have shifted. Ah, nothing like a pre-sentencing burst of morality and frugality. The house Teresa and Gia are looking at is still beyond their means. What happens when she goes to prison will someone move into the house to tend the girls for those two months or so? Is this simply so Teresa can say she has a rental where she can do her house arrest? There is no way anyone would give her a loan, except for maybe the cocktail weenie if he really is still employed in the mortgage industry. The house is nearly 9,00o square feet. He is talking to her about property taxes. There is no way Teresa can buy a house in New Jersey. I just don’t believe that is possible this is scripted shit. The list price is $1.4 million.

Oh Gawd. Here we go with the cancer story. We are about to miraculously find out that everything is fine and the shit stirrers will be able to go to Florida after all. It’s a scripted miracle! Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: There Will Be Bloodwork

RHONJ S6 CastI’m not sure I can handle Jacqueline exploiting her kid and Amber’s cancer storyline ramping up all in one episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. UGH.

We start with the Giudice family waking up in the house that fraud built. Teresa is trying to keep things as normal as possible right up until she and Joe head off for college. Am I the only one that forgets that Gabriella even exists?  Teresa drives the kids to school in her PJs. Gia tells her mom she is proud of her for being strong throughout her trial.

I literally forgot I was supposed to be blogging during this scene with Dina. So boring.

Joe Gorga doesn’t seem to be having the easiest time dealing with his sister going to the big house.

Rino’s scene where he discusses his enlarged prostate and upcoming colonoscopy was made even more disturbing when he donned a pair of underpants with a cock sock which he twirled on national television.

Is this episode over yet? Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Gia Giudice, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Guilt Trip

RHONJ S6 CastFebruary 28th, Four Days Before the Plea Deal

Of course we begin with a scene with Teresa, mother of the year, cooking with her adorable kids while wearing an apron that says please don’t send the mother of these adorable children off to college!  Well, minus the apron part. Even Audrina is in on the act this time and she is like the invisible sister. Poor think is tasked with chopping onions and her eyes are all teary. Gia on the other hand looks to be on the verge of real tears and or a nervous breakdown sitting quietly at the kitchen table. Milania takes a bite of onion and acts like she is eating a jalapeno.  She’s a drama queen that one.

March 4, 2014 (and before and after according to me)

The plea deal happens. Joe watches what appears to be a new show with some random actress voicing over the program. Or the news people in New Jersey report hard news in the same voice as “news” about what Kim Kardashian had for breakfast. Amber learns about it on her cell phone via ROL. I’m telling you they are some strange bedfellows, Bravo and ROL.  TamaraTattles.com will be shown on an upcoming episode of Couples Therapy and I know a bit about how production and the websites work together or against each other. Amber cries while talking to Teresa. Teresa takes the call on speaker in front of Gia, age 13, who immediately laughs at Amber and her crying. I am waiting for her  to say this is almost as bad as that time I had cancer. Gia is laughing at her. Teresa says in her talking head maybe Amber was on her period OR THINKING BACK TO HER CANCER.  You can’t make this shit up. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

The Upcoming RHONJ Atlantic City Trip Was Scandalous !

RHONJ Amber and Melissa

Back in December I started hearing rumors about the RHONJ filming in an Atlantic City casino. I made my predictions for how things would go this season back in February, and so far everything seems to be going as I expected. The Atlantic City trip, and now it seems the Florida trip, were over the top with drama. Amber came back from the Atlantic City trip and posted on her Facebook that everyone made her cry.  The twins were ready to be done with the show. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Joe Gorga Wins Right to Evict Kai Patterson From Montville Home

WWHL with Melissa and Joe Gorga

Despite the fact that Kai Patterson just commented in the comments of this post, “I am very happy with the outcome of the case. I no longer have to make any payments towards the purchase of the property. The only way I will make those payments, is if Mr. Gorga makes the repairs to my satisfactory (sic).”  The reality is that Patterson lost his case and has moved one step closer to the end of a lengthy eviction process.

Today a judge in Morristown will issue a judgment of possession to Joe Gorga which will allow him to officially evict Patterson in the upcoming days. This judge ruled strictly under leasing laws. Joe will have to return to court to sue for moneys owed with regard to the sale. However, since Joe no longer wants to go through with the sale after losing confidence in Patterson’s ability to pay, I imagine he will just evict the tenant and move into the house himself. Continue reading

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Filed under Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Joe Gorga and His Tenant Kai Patterson Duked it Out in Court Tuesday

beaver

Kai Patterson continued to fight an eviction proceeding Tuesday which would toss him out of Joe Gorga’s Montville home. Despite Patterson’s claims that the home is infested with beavers, he seems to intend on squatting despite multiple complaints about habitability of the home.  Because, $20,000 a month for a home with beavers in the walls and plumbing issues in East Egypt, New Jersey is a great deal! And one dude living with an elderly (step?) father really need a shit ton of square footage and a motorcourt.

If you have been following the story, Joe and Kai have been going at each other in court and Kai has sent Tamaratattles.com numerous emails documenting all of the issues. It’s been pretty hysterical. The court proceeding have been confounded by the lease to purchase aspect of the potential sale. It seems the judge can’t decide to try the case under lease law or property sale law. But on Tuesday, we seem to be back to square one and focused on law regarding tenant/landlord law. Continue reading

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Filed under Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ