Category Archives: Joe Gorga

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Swimming With The Gefilte Fishes

RHONJ teresa ashlee
I literally had to force myself to wake up from my coma for this episode of RHONJ. I’m pretty sure it is not going to be worth missing any sleep over, but maybe they will surprised me.

Dolores is renovating her house. Wait, no she isn’t Frank her ex husband has completely taken over the project, and he is doing things his way. Siggy seems to be more upset about her lack of input than Dolores is about hers. I really wish I could have my kitchen gutted. I should have done it years ago but I wasn’t planning on staying here anywhere near as long as I have. Now I feel some sort of way about doing it for the next person.  Later the girls come over to “help” with some demo. Delores’s business partner in the gym calls pissed because once again she has not gone in to work.

Since Dolores and Siggy have basically been run out of Delores’ house they head over to Jac’s to find her shoveling her own sidewalk.  Or so we are supposed to believe. Of course it is time to rehash the fight between Jac and Tre. Even production is supporting Jac’s side of the events and actually shows that Teresa started the whole mess by bringing up crap from five years ago that Teresa has agreed to put behind them several times already.  Of course we have the counterpoint over at Melissa and Joe’s, because Melissa has been tasked with fighting Teresa’s battles.

Teresa gets to remove her anklet bracelet. I am so tired of seeing Teresa’s ass in the air. I’m also annoyed that all of Teresa’s furniture is still in her house. Crime does pay.

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Life to Envy

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

It’s time for another episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’m not really sure what I would like to see on this show. I am not interested in Jacqueline at all. I am already tired of the “Joe doesn’t want Melissa to work” fake storyline.  I was trying think of what would make me happy and then I saw the description for tonight’s episode.  It says in part, “Teresa records her audio book.” This might be amusing. Let’s find out.

But first, it’s time for the grand opening of Envy.  This is the first big scene for Teresa in the world at night. She almost violated her probation by being late getting home. Hopefully, we will see that panic.

Does anyone believe that Joe can read blueprints? Anyone? I see no hands.

Teresa gets in the car with her lawyer, Shady McShaderpants,  and kisses him. We hear it but don’t see it. What is that editing all about. Let’s see if Teresa kisses anyone else she meets today. It is interesting that her “lawyer” drives her around like a chauffeur. Why isn’t she driving her eighty thousand dollar Lexus to wherever they are going. Teresa says there are stories out that she is divorcing Joe. I think she will divorce Joe. I don’t see her moving to Italy.  We get a montage of old footage about Joe’s cheating. They show the time he was in the vineyard yakking away to his side piece while wearing his microphone calling Teresa his “bitch wife.”

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Can A Leopard Change Her Spots?

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:7 -- Pictured: (l-r) Dolores Catania, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita -- (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

It’s time for more of The Glamorous Life of Crime starring Teresa Giudice and friends. We start with the perils of having kid that can’t walk to the end of the driveway.  Should I insert my stories of walking miles to the bus stop uphill in both directions through mounds of snow here?  Teresa clearly blames Joe for her going to prison.  She doesn’t take any responsibility for her physically walking in to banks telling the loan officer that she had fake jobs as a realtor and a bunch of other things with her own mouth and signature. Nope, it is all Joe’s fault.  Despite her being charged with fraud counts that didn’t even include Joe. Or it is the bankruptcy lawyer’s fault. Teresa is the victim!

Jac arrives with coffee for Teresa and Teresa pretends she didn’t know she had a scene with her. Juicy doesn’t even pretend to have a job anymore. Teresa says she became a more forgiving person in prison. So they hug it out and decide to be friends. We will see how long this lasts. In other news, Teresa’s yoga obsession is really helping out in the bedroom. Teresa talks about prison dildos. Teresa tells us that she told Jac about the dildos because she knows Jac is kinky. I do not need to know any of this information.

 

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Very Hairy Christmas

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:7 -- Pictured: (l-r) Dolores Catania, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita -- (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

 

 

I need another day in this weekend! I have been in a weird headspace and my body just feels like it is slogging through mud in order to do anything at all. So this I going to be a slow recap night. It took me three days to get the latest RHOA tea up. It’s good. You really should check it out.  Any why does Banjo need to go out at precisely 8 pm every night. At least he is regular I guess.

We start with Teresa’s suspect lawyer making a statement to the press outside her house. He has clearly worked himself in to a paid role. Is he the first male FOH? It would seem so. He had more airtime last week than the new fulltime housewives.  Everyone pretends to watch this on the news from their phones at home.  What we saw was Bravo filming it.

Jacqueline seems to cry. Then she sees the new Lexus SUV with a bow. She says, “Same old Teresa.” Exactly. What kind of idiot does that the second they are out of prison for robbing people?  The Joe and Melissa stories are staged and filmed much later than we are supposed to believe. Melissa doesn’t understand that Teresa refused to let her visit because she didn’t want to be seen in her worst moments by an adversary. It’s one of those “Never let them see you cry” sort of things.

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice

The RHONJ Trailer Is Out

RHONJ juicy joe

Sorry, I have too much going on today to try to explain the RHONJ trailer with interpretive dance and sign language.  I can’t grasp why Bravo guards AN ADVERTISEMENT for their show like gold and doesn’t make it embeddable for all.  So I will do a bit of purple pen on the press release and call it a day.

NEW YORK – May 24, 2016 – There won’t be any lazy days of summer when Bravo Media’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” returns for its much anticipated seventh season on Sunday, July 10 at 8pm ET/PT. Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga are joined by new Housewives, Dolores Catania and Siggy Flicker, along with the return of a true Jersey veteran, Jacqueline Laurita. Also appearing this season are sisters Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pierri.. Wait whut? What happened to the lesbian couple?  They aren’t mentioned at all? I thought they were downgraded after the fight in Vermont (that was Jac’s fault)  but no mention at all? So you can hit people all day long in Atlanta, but not Jac Laurita?  If they were cut out, then why were they at the finale filming that Jac refused to show up for?

 

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Filed under Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Take Season 7 Trip to Stowe Vermont

Teresa Dog Sledding in Vermont!

Teresa Dog Sledding in Vermont!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey have been filming since even before Teresa Giudice was sprung from prison. Last week a few of them went on the group trip.  Teresa was joined by  Melissa Gorga and Joe Gorga and Robyn Levy and her wife Christina Flores.  What is NOT clear is whether or not Juicy Joe is there. I get the feeling since it is so close to his self-reporting day,  and  well, you know, so close to the border with Canada,  he was not allowed to go. Teresa has posted 99 pictures of her with Juicy at a recent family wedding. I’d assume that if he were allowed to go she would have a photo of them together in Stowe.

We have photos of Joe and Melissa, and we have photos of Robyn and Christina.  I don’t know too much about that last couple. But I have to say their Instagrams are full of photos of their adorable kid (kids?). I  mean I don’t really get twitching ovaries over babies, but their kid is adorable. They are supposedly long time friends of Teresa and Juicy’s who conveniently showed up when gay marriage is the new black. If you recall both Giudice’s have made disparaging comments about the gay community and don’t really strike me as having any gay friends.  Regardless, they’re here, they’re queer and they have an adorable kid or two. I like them already.

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Filed under Entertainment News, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice