(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)
It’s time for more of The Glamorous Life of Crime starring Teresa Giudice and friends. We start with the perils of having kid that can’t walk to the end of the driveway. Should I insert my stories of walking miles to the bus stop uphill in both directions through mounds of snow here? Teresa clearly blames Joe for her going to prison. She doesn’t take any responsibility for her physically walking in to banks telling the loan officer that she had fake jobs as a realtor and a bunch of other things with her own mouth and signature. Nope, it is all Joe’s fault. Despite her being charged with fraud counts that didn’t even include Joe. Or it is the bankruptcy lawyer’s fault. Teresa is the victim!
Jac arrives with coffee for Teresa and Teresa pretends she didn’t know she had a scene with her. Juicy doesn’t even pretend to have a job anymore. Teresa says she became a more forgiving person in prison. So they hug it out and decide to be friends. We will see how long this lasts. In other news, Teresa’s yoga obsession is really helping out in the bedroom. Teresa talks about prison dildos. Teresa tells us that she told Jac about the dildos because she knows Jac is kinky. I do not need to know any of this information.
Filed under Dolores Catania, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice
(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)
I need another day in this weekend! I have been in a weird headspace and my body just feels like it is slogging through mud in order to do anything at all. So this I going to be a slow recap night. It took me three days to get the latest RHOA tea up. It’s good. You really should check it out. Any why does Banjo need to go out at precisely 8 pm every night. At least he is regular I guess.
We start with Teresa’s suspect lawyer making a statement to the press outside her house. He has clearly worked himself in to a paid role. Is he the first male FOH? It would seem so. He had more airtime last week than the new fulltime housewives. Everyone pretends to watch this on the news from their phones at home. What we saw was Bravo filming it.
Jacqueline seems to cry. Then she sees the new Lexus SUV with a bow. She says, “Same old Teresa.” Exactly. What kind of idiot does that the second they are out of prison for robbing people? The Joe and Melissa stories are staged and filmed much later than we are supposed to believe. Melissa doesn’t understand that Teresa refused to let her visit because she didn’t want to be seen in her worst moments by an adversary. It’s one of those “Never let them see you cry” sort of things.
Filed under Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice
Sorry, I have too much going on today to try to explain the RHONJ trailer with interpretive dance and sign language. I can’t grasp why Bravo guards AN ADVERTISEMENT for their show like gold and doesn’t make it embeddable for all. So I will do a bit of purple pen on the press release and call it a day.
NEW YORK – May 24, 2016 – There won’t be any lazy days of summer when Bravo Media’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” returns for its much anticipated seventh season on Sunday, July 10 at 8pm ET/PT. Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga are joined by new Housewives, Dolores Catania and Siggy Flicker, along with the return of a true Jersey veteran, Jacqueline Laurita. Also appearing this season are sisters Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pierri.. Wait whut? What happened to the lesbian couple? They aren’t mentioned at all? I thought they were downgraded after the fight in Vermont (that was Jac’s fault) but no mention at all? So you can hit people all day long in Atlanta, but not Jac Laurita? If they were cut out, then why were they at the finale filming that Jac refused to show up for?
Teresa Dog Sledding in Vermont!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey have been filming since even before Teresa Giudice was sprung from prison. Last week a few of them went on the group trip. Teresa was joined by Melissa Gorga and Joe Gorga and Robyn Levy and her wife Christina Flores. What is NOT clear is whether or not Juicy Joe is there. I get the feeling since it is so close to his self-reporting day, and well, you know, so close to the border with Canada, he was not allowed to go. Teresa has posted 99 pictures of her with Juicy at a recent family wedding. I’d assume that if he were allowed to go she would have a photo of them together in Stowe.
We have photos of Joe and Melissa, and we have photos of Robyn and Christina. I don’t know too much about that last couple. But I have to say their Instagrams are full of photos of their adorable kid (kids?). I mean I don’t really get twitching ovaries over babies, but their kid is adorable. They are supposedly long time friends of Teresa and Juicy’s who conveniently showed up when gay marriage is the new black. If you recall both Giudice’s have made disparaging comments about the gay community and don’t really strike me as having any gay friends. Regardless, they’re here, they’re queer and they have an adorable kid or two. I like them already.
Teresa and Juicy Joe are in town tonight staying at the Westin in Buckhead. Gia is in town for a national cheer and dance competition this weekend at the World Congress Center. Please take necessary precautions.
No word if there were cameras there. No one mentioned them. At least we know Juicy has not run off to Italy yet. Not sure if they actually made it into The Palms. Last I heard, about an hour ago they were sitting in the lobby. I wonder if Andy had his BFF Bruce set them up with dinner. #Felons By Bravo
Forgot to add I saw Teresa’s book in Target today. Continue reading
Tonight, on Teresa Checks In, the final episode will be a trip to visit Teresa in prison. But first Gabriella is trying in vain to keep Milania in line. Juicy Joe is not much help basically just asking her what is wrong with her over and over. Milania thumbs her nose at both of them and hops on to her pricey pink ATV and zips away leaving Joe and Gabriella to clean up the mess she made by the pond. Joe manages to drop his phone in the pond. Gabriella who is furiously trying to fix everything and be both mother and wife, quickly informs Joe that he has to put it in rice. Joe spends forever trying to recover the phone. Eventually he puts on waders and tries to scoop the phone out with a net. This is of course poinless, and I’m not sure we actually saw the phone go in. So it’s possibly just storyline so that they can show Gia videoing everything going on and emailing it to her mother. Besides, all they would need to do is take some stolen funds from under the mattress and buy a new one. It’s clear their standard of living has not decreased at all.
HERE IS THE TEA ON THE ATTORNEY THAT IS FEATURED ON THIS SHOW. IT’S MUST READ!
Speaking of their standard of living, the Giudices and the Gorgas are headed “upstate” on vacation. They are apparently going to the Catskills where they went in the early seasons of RHONJ. Juicy Joe’s dad used to go with them.
Teresa did not approve Melissa to visit. Teresa’s odd attorney does a talking head about prison visitation. Continue reading