Category Archives: Joe Gorga

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: There Will Be Bloodwork

RHONJ S6 CastI’m not sure I can handle Jacqueline exploiting her kid and Amber’s cancer storyline ramping up all in one episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. UGH.

We start with the Giudice family waking up in the house that fraud built. Teresa is trying to keep things as normal as possible right up until she and Joe head off for college. Am I the only one that forgets that Gabriella even exists?  Teresa drives the kids to school in her PJs. Gia tells her mom she is proud of her for being strong throughout her trial.

I literally forgot I was supposed to be blogging during this scene with Dina. So boring.

Joe Gorga doesn’t seem to be having the easiest time dealing with his sister going to the big house.

Rino’s scene where he discusses his enlarged prostate and upcoming colonoscopy was made even more disturbing when he donned a pair of underpants with a cock sock which he twirled on national television.

Is this episode over yet? Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Gia Giudice, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Guilt Trip

RHONJ S6 CastFebruary 28th, Four Days Before the Plea Deal

Of course we begin with a scene with Teresa, mother of the year, cooking with her adorable kids while wearing an apron that says please don’t send the mother of these adorable children off to college!  Well, minus the apron part. Even Audrina is in on the act this time and she is like the invisible sister. Poor think is tasked with chopping onions and her eyes are all teary. Gia on the other hand looks to be on the verge of real tears and or a nervous breakdown sitting quietly at the kitchen table. Milania takes a bite of onion and acts like she is eating a jalapeno.  She’s a drama queen that one.

March 4, 2014 (and before and after according to me)

The plea deal happens. Joe watches what appears to be a new show with some random actress voicing over the program. Or the news people in New Jersey report hard news in the same voice as “news” about what Kim Kardashian had for breakfast. Amber learns about it on her cell phone via ROL. I’m telling you they are some strange bedfellows, Bravo and ROL.  TamaraTattles.com will be shown on an upcoming episode of Couples Therapy and I know a bit about how production and the websites work together or against each other. Amber cries while talking to Teresa. Teresa takes the call on speaker in front of Gia, age 13, who immediately laughs at Amber and her crying. I am waiting for her  to say this is almost as bad as that time I had cancer. Gia is laughing at her. Teresa says in her talking head maybe Amber was on her period OR THINKING BACK TO HER CANCER.  You can’t make this shit up. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Joe Gorga Wins Right to Evict Kai Patterson From Montville Home

WWHL with Melissa and Joe Gorga

Despite the fact that Kai Patterson just commented in the comments of this post, “I am very happy with the outcome of the case. I no longer have to make any payments towards the purchase of the property. The only way I will make those payments, is if Mr. Gorga makes the repairs to my satisfactory (sic).”  The reality is that Patterson lost his case and has moved one step closer to the end of a lengthy eviction process.

Today a judge in Morristown will issue a judgment of possession to Joe Gorga which will allow him to officially evict Patterson in the upcoming days. This judge ruled strictly under leasing laws. Joe will have to return to court to sue for moneys owed with regard to the sale. However, since Joe no longer wants to go through with the sale after losing confidence in Patterson’s ability to pay, I imagine he will just evict the tenant and move into the house himself. Continue reading

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Filed under Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Joe Gorga and His Tenant Kai Patterson Duked it Out in Court Tuesday

beaver

Kai Patterson continued to fight an eviction proceeding Tuesday which would toss him out of Joe Gorga’s Montville home. Despite Patterson’s claims that the home is infested with beavers, he seems to intend on squatting despite multiple complaints about habitability of the home.  Because, $20,000 a month for a home with beavers in the walls and plumbing issues in East Egypt, New Jersey is a great deal! And one dude living with an elderly (step?) father really need a shit ton of square footage and a motorcourt.

If you have been following the story, Joe and Kai have been going at each other in court and Kai has sent Tamaratattles.com numerous emails documenting all of the issues. It’s been pretty hysterical. The court proceeding have been confounded by the lease to purchase aspect of the potential sale. It seems the judge can’t decide to try the case under lease law or property sale law. But on Tuesday, we seem to be back to square one and focused on law regarding tenant/landlord law. Continue reading

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Filed under Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Roses Are Red, Dina is Blue

RHONJ S6 CastWith little to no explanation, Amber arrives at Melissa’s house with chicken soup of assorted food. Lots of hugs. Melissa’s aunt has died and Joe is very busy with work so she is struggling.  Amber was very sweet. She did have to point out that she had cancer just like Melissa’s mom. How long will this détente last?

Nicole and her mom talk about how they are going out to Vino’s restaurant with the family for Valentines Day. Nicole points out she has been with Bobby for a year. Nicole’s mother points out that he can go long stretches without seeing her. She fears that Bobby may be a confirmed bachelor. Nicole is ready to get married. it seems Bobby is not.

Next we are to believe that Joe took all the girls out for a date night while Teresa stays home and signs books. Melissia came over and they opened some Fabelini  made a fire and watched The Godfather. Teresa explains that it is her favorite movie and holds a lot of life lessons. I assume the main one would be that as long as you don’t get killed, crime pays very well.  Melissa and Teresa seem to have truly made up this time. Maybe. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Gia Giudice, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Fambily Business

RHONJ Amber open mouth

 

Well this has certainly been a long dramatic week. So much turmoil in the world, in the US, and on the Internet. Let’s hope that this episode of RHONJ will be a little big less emotional. Can I just throw this out there about Amber’s hair before we get started? If she had chemo and lost all of her hair five years ago, there is no way that is her actual hair. Yet, for some reason she keeps insisting that it is. Wouldn’t it play into her cancer victim routine much better to just admit she has five pounds of extensions on her head? Does she really think she is fooling anyone?

Joe and Melissa go to the high-end car dealership because, promotional deal.  The storyline is even stupider than usual. They want to have the garbage truck custom painted. The garbage truck. It’s not pretty enough. The garbage truck. Seriously? Just when I am already pissed off by Melissa’s ridiculous environmental speech the high-end dealership that customizes GARBAGE TRUCKS points out that Melissa drives a Bentley which is hardly good for the environment and gets eight miles a gallon.  Did I mention the storyline is the Bentley dealer is going to paint their GARBAGE truck, because I can’t seem to stress the stupidity of this enough.  In fact we may have actually reached the nadir of stupidity. This scene may go down in history of the very moment the Real Housewives franchise jumped the shark forever. Right here. In this moment. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

RHONJ Recap: Chicken Shits and Nightingale Droppings

I have bird shit on my stupid face.

I have bird shit on my stupid face.

 

We’ll we are back to the shit stirring house husbands of New Jersey. Jim has announced that he has passed the bar (hmm I wonder what state that was in, I can’t seem to find any record of it) but that the is not an attorney.  Then in the next breath he is screaming in Joe Gorga’s ear that he “prosecutes bank fraud cases” and “works for the same Attorney General’s office that is prosecuting Juicy Joe.”  Um, hey there Mr. I Passed the Bar.  Federal fraud cases are prosecuted by an AUSA .  Sidenote: Jim’s second twitter account in as many days was suspended again just minutes ago. What the hell is he doing to get suspended?  Is threatening to sue the entire Internet a banable offense on Twitter?  Pity if true because it was really funny. He was also suing Bobby for breach of contract for some nonsense that seemed to be Bravo related. He is also ranting against Bravo who I am assuming is who really is having his accounts suspended. This guy is a joke.

Currently, he has Joe Gorga up in his face outside of Bobby’s house. Let’s watch how this turns out for him. He’s already threatening to call the cops. I’m sure he will be threatening to sue him any second. Oh and on his first twitter account, Good Ole Christian Jim said suing people was like sport fucking to him.  Do they not run psych tests on any of these people? Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Gia Giudice, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Beaver Update!

beaver-dams

It seems like every week there is someone from the Real Housewives of New Jersey in court. This week, it was Joe and Melissa back again trying to evict Kai Patterson from their Montville home. purchase agreement. In accordance with a previous ruling, it  was expected that Patterson would finally be forced to leave the home where he currently lives with his (step?) father; however, the judge declined to evict him.

Superior Court Judge Stephen Taylor vacated the  previous ruling that found Patterson in default on the lease because the motion was not heard in open court as New Jersey law requires when an option to buy a leased property is involved. Because Gorga tried to file the eviction pro se, he was unaware of the applicable law. That makes sense except for the fact that a judge, if not this judge ruled to evict and one would think the judge would be versed in the law. Apparently, the option to buy makes the applicable laws those concerning the sale of property rather than those governing  rental property laws. Continue reading

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Filed under Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Watch What Happens Live With Melissa and Joe Gorga

WWHL with Melissa and Joe GorgaOn tonight’s WWHL, we have a rare event with a husband in a guest chair! It seems to be a trend on RHONJ this season for the husbands to get a lot of air time. I sort of like it.

Andy asked Melissa who was at fault regarding the brawl. It was a 30 seconds on the clock sort of thing and Melissa didn’t want to do it. She said that Amber came in very strong , but Nicole was the first to pull hair and Melissa doesn’t think anyone should put their hands on anyone. Andy seemed pissed by her milquetoast  response.

OMG they just showed a talking head of Jim from next week where he says he is trained as an attorney, if you mess with him he is going to sue you, he is going to leverage your house, he is going to drag you through three years of litigation, he is going to bleed you dry, he is going to humiliate you as I depose you for eight hours and make you my bitch. All of this in a tie, sweater vest and spectacles. It was one of the most hysterical things I have ever seen.

Melissa says she chose not to give the RHONJ any music this season. Andy seemed taken aback. Melissa says sometimes you show when I hit he note and sometimes he doesn’t. Also she has been working on her jewelry line. And also there are currently a bunch of beavers using her recoding studio as their personal nesting space. Allegedly. Continue reading

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Filed under Andy Cohen, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Hairy Situation

RHONJ S6 CastApparently, Melissa drives a Bentley. What is it with these housewives. Even Joe just said they are having money problems. Perhaps it is because they are buying tons of shit they can’t afford? Americans are so stupid with money.  I just can’t. More than likely they are getting a super cheap lease deal from this dealership where they are currently filming. Teresa tells Joe the Jim doesn’t want to be around the Joes because he thinks they fight. Also, the whole not wanting to hang out with felons issue. I am not a fan of Jim’s by a long shot, but if I had a business in that town, I would not be socializing with the Giudices either.  If you care, the fake bill for the new bumper for the Bentley was $7,000.

Dina wants to clean out her closet. She has a massive closet with a shoe hall with 400 pairs of shoes. It looks like Tommy is going to keep the house, or they are going to sell it because she is trying to pack out.

Teresa, Melissa, Nicole, and TeRESSA are shopping for costumes for the first responders party. The girls talk about Amber gossiping about Nicole to Melissa. Teresa is hurt that Jim is judging her. Um, Tre, the judge judged you and you confessed to be a felon. Felons are no respected members of society.  Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Blog Round-up

Teresa Gives FANTASTIC Bagel Head!

Teresa Gives FANTASTIC Bagel Head!

I just posted Amber Marchese’s blog in a separate post because she had A TON to say this week. Here are the highlights, and low lights from the other New Jersey fishwives Housewives.

From Dina’s Blog:

Well the shit’s about to hit the fan with Amber and the twins, and when I say hit the fan, I mean really HIT THE FAN. Next week is sure to be a juicy episode, and speaking of juicy, did you see the hottie that asks me out on the preview? Yes, if you’re not into drama, tune in for some major eye candy at least!

Teresa’s Blog:

I hope you are enjoying the summer! We were at the beach this weekend. I love hanging out with my family in the warm sunshine more than anything. I can barely watch all the snow from last winter on these episodes. I never want it to get cold again.

Yep, basically what I am saying is that Dina and Teresa had absolutely nothing to say this week. But the rest of the girls do… Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: It’s Just Cray.

RHONJ S6 CastOkay, things always get insane just before primetime. Sources. People Leaving. This. Board. Forever,  Phone calls. The dog wants stuff. It’s chaos on a Sunday night at the offices of Tamara Tattles.  Which is fine. But it is also my excuse for being behind. So let’s get going!

Melissa and Joe are not exactly in the garbage business. They are in the sensitive government shredded document disposal business. Which makes perfect sense when your sister has been indicted on 41 counts of federal charges.  Joe Gorga says that Melissa doesn’t know how many millions he has invested in this business. Um, perhaps we should start a how long until Joe Gorga is indicted for some federal charges pool? He is now telling Melissa the house is on hold. They must make do with their pitiful 5,000 square foot rental house for now. However will Melissa bear up during this period of homelessness and despair? Oh the sacrifices they are making.

Jim threatens to make his kid do a hundred pushups and then holds a family prayer all in one breath. I like that Amber and Jim are teaching their kids manners, I do, but it they seem weird. Very weird. They are planning a commercial for Jim’s mortgage business with the kids. Speaking of commercials and exploiting children, Teresa is doing a photo shoot to publicize “her” cupcake line. Milania is at Def Con whatever the biggest one is. I’ve never understood what Def Con means. Please enlighten me in comments.

Amber and Melissa are in a car going somewhere and catching up on the twins.  Amber tells Melissa that Nicole was divorced over some cheating, and  that Nicole “broke up a family.” I have no idea WTF they are talking about, and moreover, I don’t care. But I am going to try to figure it out anyway.  In her talking head, Amber says she is not a gossip but she loves Melissa and wants to get her up to speed. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano